作文贴

mliumUID: 2590149

刚刚又改了一篇。。

laozhanguotoeflUID: 3246339

2012.2.18 独立

紫梦于UID: 3232379

改好了

下垂眼之兔UID: 3249047

Being polite to others is good quality of human beings, and he will be though rude if he communicates with others without [url=]gracious[/url][LU1] . Teachers and parents also told us to be polite children, so that we could receive respect and love from the world when we were young. However, as growing older and older, I start to think about this proposition deeply, and I tend to hold this opinion that it’s unnecessary for us to be polite under every condition. My view will be [url=]interpreted[/url][LU2] as follows.
First, as we all know, everyone has a feeling of self-esteem, which is the basic psychological demand for all people no matter they are in the upper society or not. If someone’s self-esteem is impaired, he will be uncomfortable, and feel that he is hit by something and[url=] need comfort or apology[/url][LU3] . So, insulted by someone else, I think we should be polite to remind that his behavior has hurt us and wish his apology at first. [url=]If he refused to make an apology[/url][LU4] , we should fight back immediately rather than continue to[url=] talk to him politely.[/url][LU5] Only by this way can we maintain our self-esteem and get the respect from others. So, from my point of view, it’s suitable for us to be impolite in that case, and we should try to avoid being the silent lamb in other peoples’ eyes.
Second, It is no doubt that we should be tolerant of others, but that doesn’t say that every mistake can be indulged. In a corporation, if we are polite all the time, no question could be solved efficiently, and it’s waste of time to be polite to some people under special circumstances. When a staff member makes a serious mistake but he just wants to avoid responsibility and [url=]doesn’t[/url][LU6] admit his false, if I am the person in charge, I will criticize him harshly instead of [url=]forgive[/url][LU7] him with politeness. If you give him a chance to escape, he would make the same mistake[url=] [/url][LU8] in the future, which will not only cause a loss to the company but also bring bad effect to the staff.
Third, when our national sovereignty is destroyed, it is really time for us to counterattack. In 1997, Hong Kong came back to China, as a result of Deng Xiaoping’s endeavor in 1982. He once said, “Sovereignty is not negotiable”, which strongly supports my opinion that when confronted wit
h the problem of the sovereignty, we should show the side of being tough. The rule of the global society is the law of the jungle, if we are too polite, we will be invaded and[url=] [/url][LU9] lose our national-esteem sooner or later.
Collectively, my opinion is that it is reasonable for us to be impolite in some special cases.

觉得有些词可以用 in addition
try to imagine that 替换
偶第一次改作文 可能不全面。。见谅鸟
一起努力吧

[LU1]这个放在这里好像不太能表达自己的意思



[LU2]时态错误



[LU3]这么说好像是 他需要apology的样子



[LU4]But
when he still refused to make an apology.
是不是加强一下语气？




[LU5]be a gentle and keep talking to him politely.感觉这样逻辑性强一点。



[LU6]改成never会不会加强语气？



[LU7]Forgiving



[LU8]加个again？



[LU9]Even

laozhanguotoeflUID: 3246339

2.20 独立

小群群UID: 3091805

LZ我今天晚上才有时间改作文 希望你不要介意~~

gtlddsUID: 3228712

Who didn’t make any mistakes when they were little children? All of us once did something stupid like this or that in our childhood, but the majorities finally become honest and good-hearted people, unexpectedly, some of the naughtiest boys even grow to be the social elite（elites）. As a result, I tend to support the viewpoint stated in the title. My interpretation will be detailed as follows.

First of all, children are a kind of creature which is the most curious people in the world. （①这句话看着怪怪的，应该把people去掉好点吧。②我觉得开头应该点出：所以犯错误是不能避免的。）Because of being so young, they are always eager to explore the fresh world, to find out the answers of questions about the novel surroundings, to experience the process of uncovering the riddle, which is the most attractive part of life for them. Their growth is the exploration of the unknown world accompanied with some innocent ideas, and not surprisingly, making mistakes can’t be avoided, which is the only way must be passed.（觉得上面两句写的挺清晰的，喜欢~） As adults, it is our responsibility to be their good teachers and helpful friends, rather than to be the dictator and scold（如果看中文解释的话scold貌似是泼妇的意思？感觉不太恰当。Dictator感觉还挺恰当的）. Otherwise, their（我觉得这里应该用children’s,因为感觉好久没有提到了= =）， adventure and creativity spirit will be depressed, which may lead to being overcautious and daring not to do anything that their parents don’t tell them do, and they will be more likely to become mediocre after growing up.

Second, learning something from mistakes is the destination instead of making mistakes itself.（看不明白。从错误中学习是目标而不是犯错误本身？） Our purpose is to educate them after their mistakes and let them be aware of their faults so that they won’t do the same thing next time. In my opinion, children who have ever made mistakes are less likely to repeat the same mistake. On the contrary, those who always obey their parents may make great mistake because of lacking the experience of being scolded, and there are also many vivid examples which support this opinion in our society.

Last but not the least, that mistakes are not always mistakes is determined by the customs of different places.（这句话is前面有点奇怪，但我不知道怎么改，也许是正确的） For instance, puppy love is not allowed in China while is regarded as a normal behavior in the western counties. Another example, outside reading is banned in some classes of China, but weather it is right or not still remains unknown, because some students can learn more from it without suffering negative impact to study but others can’t. Sometimes the adults need to change their mind as well as consider the children’s feelings standing in their position.
这上面一段个人感觉与主题关联不大
Making mistakes is the little episode in the way to grow up, and it is（the） learning chance from life. （这句话感觉挺好的，就是最后from life感觉不太好= =） Childhood will become gray and rigid if no freedom to make mistakes, so parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.

因为我刚接触托福写作，不知道怎么改。不太敢写意见，怕写了不对= =，我的语法也不好，具体是否有错我也不太清楚。我真的很认真的看了很久= =。我就只是说说我读这个文章的感受。有不对的地方就无视吧，括号里改的内容~

小群群UID: 3091805

写的真好

laozhanguotoeflUID: 3246339

2012.2.21 独立

hipop1901UID: 2998491

Certainly, the television changes our life, as it is a kind of popular electrical tool that not only brings us news as a replacement of newspaper but also plays an important role as the entertainment communicator. Children are undoubtedly attracted, because it displays so many fantastic programs which include films, cartoons, football and basketball games and suchso on. If we don’t allow the children to watch TV, it may sound a little cruel, so I agree with the opinion included in the title, and my reasons will be detailed as follows.
First of all, spending too much time on watching TV will have a negative effect on the children’s performance at school for certain. As we all know, reviewing is an essential step of mastering new knowledge. If children rush into the TV room after school and started to be amused by the players on the screen until the dinner time, how much time can they leave for study? From my point of view, parents should at least limit their children’s time on the TV before they finished their homework. What’s more, if you expect your child to be excellent, the a strict management to prevent him from wasting too much time on the TV is really indispensible.
Second, staring at the colorful screen too long will reduce their interest in the real colorful world. If you find he becomes more and more unconcern unconcerned when talking with you, but very concentrated when watching TV, I think it’s time for you to draw his attention from the TV to the outside world. It is easy to understand that if a person spends too much time on one thing, he will become indifferent with the others. For a student, his main task is study rather than TV. If he becomes indifferent with school work, he will be described as putting the cart before the horse. In order to avoid this result, responsible parents can’t indulge their children in watching TV.
Last but not the least, children’s eyesight will decline if they waste much time before the luminous machine. As a myopic patient, I have deeply felt the inconvenience in class although I wear a pair of glasses. For instance, you have to wipe it often to keep it clean, but which could have it scratched easily. Therefore, to avoid these problems troubling your child from the source, you’d better limit his time on the TV.
In a word, TV is just a tool of recreation, if the children are addicted to watching TV, then the TV changes into an obstacle of their study. So parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV.

laozhanguotoeflUID: 3246339

2012.2.22 独立

yagushou26UID: 3141058

There is no doubt that more and more people become educated than in the past. It is true that Most of our grandmas, grandpas and relatives as old as them are illiteracies, for the reason that the education were so luxury in their time that they couldn’t even afford to go to primary school. With the development of our society, the situation has been dramatically changed, and all of the school-age children have the access to classroom for free from grade one to nine. I have no cause to reject the opinion appearing in the title, in other words, I agree with the statement that people are now easier to become educated than in the past. My reasons will be listed as follows.

To begin with, most of the students have the chance to go to college after high school, because colleges and universities have expanded their scale to increase the number of schoolmates and enlarge their influence on the outside world. For example, if one tenth of high graduates could continue their study in college in the past, now the number has rise(rised) to one half. Thus we can go to college easier and receive more education than before.

Second, another factor that limit (limits) our grandpas go to school is the lacking of money, but it will no longer be the main obstacle. In order to promote education industry, our government has takes(taken) series of measures, which include the nine-year compulsory education. According to the rule, all the tuition will be exempted in addition to the accommodation fees and board fees if necessary. The poor will not worry about the high tuitions any more, and their children will go to school for free.

Third, if someone misses the chance to learning at school, he can also study independently as there is so much information that we can obtain though the search engine, such as network public classes, academic papers, teaching videos and so on. In my eyes, internet is a huge education institution, in which we can get whatever we want and learn all kinds of subjects we interested in. We can still become educated through self-study instead of gaining a doctorate at school.

In conclusion, there are large amount of education resources around us, and we have more chances further than our elder generation, therefore, we are now easier to become educated than in the past.

我觉得LZ写得很好哈~