【Daily Writing作文特训小组】陶太郎的作业帖

陶太郎UID：3066263

一个人自顾自地写作文总归不知道自己差在哪里，还很容易出现消极怠工的情况，希望能和大家一起互相激励，共同进步。

以后在写作中的心得体会也一并记在这里吧。

2月8日
yxy319(三叶草)修改：
用survival替换build their home
survival: the state of continuing to live or exist, often despite difficulty or danger
生存，存货，幸存
It is a fact that ...
however直接连接两个句子
We began to play tennis. However, it started to rain, so we went home.
表示“与……保持联系”：keep in touch with / get in touch with;
xiesisiminerval(小狮子)修改：
moving also brings more chances for life 与 People move for various reasons可以作为两个分论点分别深入展开。

2月9日
idealibt(想乖)修改：
content：adj. 满意的，满足的，甘愿的，一般作表语，比如appear/be/seem/feel conten with。
contented：adj. 满意的，满足的，可以修饰名词，表示很满意的工作可以用a contented job来表示。
satisfactory：adj. 令人满意的，可喜的，恰当的，够好的，一份满意的工作可以说a satisfactory job。
satisfied：adj. 感到满意的，满足的，一般作表语形容词，且强调主观感受。
表示“越来越多的”：an increasing number of，替换more and more。
seem：vi. 看来好像，似乎，论点里面用seem会显得犹豫不决，不够坚定。
orient: v. 以……为目的（或目标），career-oriented preparation。

2月11日
idealibt(想乖)修改：
进行更加深入的学习，接受更加高等的教育：further their education
sodapent修改：
科研成果，科学成就：scientific achievement
表示让步：admittedly, undoubtedly

2月13日
idealibt(想乖)修改：capable的用法：
having the ability or qualities necessary for doing something
有能力，有才能
I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself, thank you.

2月22日
小裙裙（群）修改：
metropolis: a large important city (often the capital city of a country or region)
大都会；大城市；首府；首都
gtldds(瓜田)修改：
to raise/heighten/increase public awarness of something
disable/disability/disabled辨析：
disable: to injure or affect somebody permanently so that, for example, they cannot walk or cannot use a part of their body
使丧失能力；使伤残
disability: a physical or mental condition that means you cannot use a part of your body completely or easily, or that you cannot learn easily
（某种）缺陷，障碍
disabled: unable to use a part of your body completely or easily because of  a physical condition, illness, injury, etc.; unable to learn easily
丧失能力的；有残疾的；无能力的
the disabled: people who are disabled
残疾人；伤残者

陶太郎UID：3066263

2月8日
101031NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing for people to move to a new town or a new country because they will lose their friends.

Moving to a new place is a common event to human beings. Our ancestors moved from place to place depending on the natural environment and they had to adapt to the nature in order to build their home. Nowadays, most people don’t have to move for the reason of the nature, but they move for better jobs, higher salary, more opportunities, etc. With the achievement moving brings, people have to accept disadvantages at the same time like losing their friends. When consider this dilemma, in my opinion, although people may lose their friends by moving to a new town or a new country, if they know exactly what they really want, moving is not a bad thing.


It is the fact that moving to a new town or a new country may cause some negative effects, among which losing friends seems to be the biggest challenge. Although moving to a new place does not mean that people will farewell the former environment completely, at least it is not as convenient as before to keep contact with their friends. People can never maintain the friendship by playing sports, shopping during the discount season or chat face to face with their friends. Things seem to be worse for those whose friendship is a critical part of their jobs. Take a businessman as an example, moving to another city may influences the connection between he and his cooperators and maybe he has to suffer a lot from a moving.


On the contrary, moving also brings more chances for life at the same time. People move for various reasons, however, they all have the same purpose that some of their wants need to be satisfied. In many countries all around the word, children leave their homes and move to another city for better education and students may even come to other countries just for the same reason. What they have to leave is not only their friends, but also their families. What is more, because of the highly developing transportation technology, it is more convenient for people to move from where they live to other places. Choosing freely where they want to live depends on what they want to achieve. If people want to earn money, they can choose big cities. If people want to enjoy a quiet and relaxed time, they can choose the seaside towns or countryside.


On the other hand, many people do not have to worry about losing their former friends since the advanced scientific technologies help people get in touched with others wherever and whenever they want. With updating technologies based on either computers or mobile phones, scientists offer people more and more opportunities to keep touch in with other people, which beyond their imagination. Despite the fact that people live far away from each other, they can hear other’s voices and even talk with each other face to face, which makes them forget the distance between them. It is said that the future technology may even transport the smell and taste. Thus people do not have to think that losing friends will be the barrier for them to move.


Based on the above reasons, although losing friends may be a big challenge for people when they consider moving to a new town or a new country, there are chances and benefits at the same time. In order to pursue the aim of their life, people have to give up some things. After all, the developing technologies help a lot for people to keep their friendship. In a word, I don’t agree that moving to a new place is a bad thing.

yxy319UID：3014935

lz码字神速。。膜拜呀。。。

2月8日
101031NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing for people to move to a new town or a new country because they will lose their friends.

Moving to a new place is a common event to human beings. Our ancestors moved from place to place depending on the natural environment and they had to adapt to the nature in order to build their home (感觉用survive更好些). Nowadays, most people don’t have to move for the reason of the nature, but they move for better jobs, higher salary, more opportunities, etc. With the achievement moving brings, people have to accept disadvantages at the same time like losing their friends. When considering this dilemma, in my opinion, although people may lose their friends by moving to a new town or a new country, if they know exactly what they really want, moving is not a bad thing.

It is the(a) fact that moving to a new town or a new country may cause some negative effects, among which losing friends seems to be the biggest challenge. Although moving to a new place does not mean that people will farewell the former environment completely, at least it is not as convenient as before to keep contact with their friends. People can never (no longer) maintain the friendship by playing sports, shopping during the discount season or chatting face to face with their friends. Things seem to be worse for those whose friendship is a critical part of their jobs. Take a businessman as an example, moving to another city may influences the connection between he and his cooperators and maybe he has to suffer a lot from a moving.

On the contrary, moving also brings more chances for life at the same time. People move for various reasons, however (however直接连接两个句子，
应该换成but,或者将前面的逗号改成分号), they all have the same purpose that some of their wants need to be satisfied. In many countries all around the world, children leave their homes and move to another city (other cities) for better education and students may even come (go) to other countries just for the same reason. What they have to leave is not only their friends, but also their families. What is more, because of the highly developing (developed) transportation technology, it is more convenient for people to move from where they live to other places. Choosing freely where they want to live depends on what they want to achieve. If people want to earn money, they can choose big cities. If people want to enjoy a quiet and relaxed time, they can choose the seaside towns or countryside.

On the other hand, many people do not have to worry about losing their former friends since the advanced scientific technologies help people get in touch with others wherever and whenever they want. With updating technologies based on either computers or mobile phones, scientists offer people more and more opportunities to keep in touch with other people, which is beyond their imagination. Despite the fact that people live far away from each other, they can hear other’s voices and even talk with each other face to face, which makes them forget the distance between them. It is said that the future technology may even transport the smell and taste. Thus people do not have to think that losing friends will be the barrier for them to move.

Based on the above reasons, although losing friends may be a big challenge for people when they consider moving to a new town or a new country, there are chances and benefits at the same time. In order to pursue the aim of their life, people have to give up some things. After all, the developing technologies help a lot for people to keep their friendship. In a word, I don’t agree that moving to a new place is a bad thing.

总体结构：
1、  1、开头
2、  2、让步：搬家失去朋友会造成损失
3、  3、反驳：搬家为了更多机会
4、  4、再反驳：搬家不一定会失去朋友
5、  5、结尾

感觉3和4换一下会更好
1、  1、开头
2、  2、让步：搬家失去朋友会造成损失
3、  3、反驳：科技发展降低了因搬家造成的朋友损失
4、  4、再反驳：搬家为了更多机会
5、  5、结尾
个人观点仅供参考~

xiesisiminervaUID：2997765

Moving to a new place is a common event to human beings. Our ancestors moved from place to place depending on the natural environment and they had to adapt to the nature in order to build their home. Nowadays, most people don’t have to move for the reason of the nature, but they move for better jobs, higher salary, more opportunities, etc. (古今承接，作者开头气势好）With the achievement （改为benefits会不会好点呀）moving brings, people have to accept disadvantages at the same time like losing their friends. When consider this dilemma, in my opinion, （这里有点怪怪的，二者取其一如何?）although people may lose their friends by moving to a new town or a new country, if they know exactly what they really want, moving is not a bad thing.(although,if 在一个句子中，我没有看到过这样的用法，不知对不对？）
  y# H! (a   
It is the fact that moving to a new town or a new country may cause some negative effects, among which losing friends seems to be the biggest challenge. Although moving to a new place does not mean that people will farewell the former environment completely, at least it is not as convenient as before to keep contact with their friends. People can never maintain the friendship by playing sports, shopping during the discount season or chat face to face with their friends. Things seem to be worse for those whose friendship is a critical part of their jobs. Take a businessman as an example, moving to another city may influences the connection between he and his cooperators and maybe he has to suffer a lot from a moving.
    On the contrary, moving also brings more chances for life at the same time. （如果这句是总起，我在下文中找不到具体的展开）People move for various reasons,(若这句是总起 ，我只找到education)however, they all have the same purpose that some of their wants need （直接改为needs如何？）to be satisfied. In many countries all around the word(world), children leave their homes and move to another city for better education and students may even come to other countries just for the same reason. What they have to leave is not only their friends, but also their families. What is more, because of the highly developing transportation technology, it is more convenient for people to move from where they live to other places. Choosing freely where they want to live depends on what they want to achieve. If people want to earn money, they can choose big cities. If people want to enjoy a quiet and relaxed time, they can choose the seaside towns or countryside.（这段写得似乎有点放开收不住的，觉得逻辑不够清晰。还有上一段是驳，这一段有有点驳的倾向，可能会让文章有点失衡吧）不过一开始读的很顺，可能作者有自己的思路和风格，我可能是过于死板了。
$ C! Q% H2 L. j$ I) D' o0 a
    On the other hand, many people do not have to worry about losing their former friends since the advanced scientific technologies help people get in touched with others wherever and whenever they want. With updating technologies based on either computers or mobile phones, scientists offer people more and more opportunities to keep touch in （in touch)with other people, which beyond their imagination. Despite the fact that people live far away from each other, they can hear other’s voices and even talk with each other face to face, which makes them forget the distance between them. It is said that the future technology may even transport the smell and taste. Thus people do not have to think that losing friends will be the barrier for them to move.这段写得真好。
     Based on the above reasons, although losing friends may be a big challenge for people when they consider moving to a new town or a new country, there are chances and benefits at the same time. In order to pursue the aim of their life, people have to give up some things. After all, the developing technologies help a lot for people to keep their friendship. In a word, I don’t agree that moving to a new place is a bad thing.
作者这篇文章写得很好，一开头，气势很足，先驳后立，中间一段稍显凌乱，后面的论述挺充分的。文章中的长句比较多，要是能长短结合一下会更好些，读起来不会觉得累了。
小小地表达自己的看法，文章谁都会瞎评，但写起来就是另外一回事啦。作者的水平真的很高，以后多向你请教。

陶太郎UID：3066263

2月9日
100924NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? College or University should offer students more preparation before they start working.

After years of studying, most students hope to find content jobs which both offer high salaries and make them feel comfortable. However, the society is not like the campus which is relatively simple. There are more and more students find that it is hard for them to adjust to the employment market soon after the graduation. It seems essential for college or university to offer students more preparation before they start working.


First of all, it is the responsibility that colleges or universities offer students, especially seniors, appropriate preparation. As an institution for education, colleges and universities share the burden to bring as much as knowledge to students related and beyond to their majors. At the same time, colleges and universities also need to teach students how to apply what they have learned to their life including the professional career and daily life. In other words, helping students with their careers by setting related courses and founding some organizations is also a part of the education.


What is more, it is beneficial for colleges and universities to help their students to achieve better jobs because the school may build its fame and appeal to more talented students. There is no doubt that every college and university concerns about its employment rate. The more students get their satisfied jobs, the higher rate of the employment is. The better evaluation alumni get, the greater the school will be in the society. As a result, there will be more students apply to the school in order to get better jobs. On the other hand, the condition of the alumni will also affect the building of the school. If the alumni are rich, they may contribute much money to help the college or university with its equipment. Consequently, offering students more preparation will motivate the development of the college or the university.


However, while offering students more preparation for their careers, college or university should also leave some time for students to consider their own problems. After all, the career of every student is based on their current condition and neither teachers nor parents can replace the thinking of the student himself. The college or the university can just offer some complementary suggestion or guidance, they cannot force the student. Besides, thinking about one’s career is an unavoidable experience because none of our careers can be totally same. Only by asking what he really wants, can a person step out to pursue his success. That is why the preparation from the college and university is critical but not the only.


All in all, offering students more preparation before they start working is beneficial to both the school and the student. However, the college and the university should never take place of the process of the critical thinking of students. Only by the hard working from both students and schools, can they reach their goals.

陶太郎UID：3066263

3# yxy319

非常感谢三叶草！
帮我找到了好多自己注意不到的错误，有些如果没有指出来我可能就会一直错下去。
还有段落顺序的调整建议也特别好，调整以后感觉更符合逻辑，也更有说服力了！

陶太郎UID：3066263

4# xiesisiminerva

非常感谢小狮子！
并不是你过于死板，而是我的确存在逻辑不够清楚的问题，而且很多时候会写得很罗嗦却没有写到重点上，所以说你还是一针见血地点出了我的严重问题。
对于第三段，我本身是想表达搬家可以带来更多机会，不过写出来好像主要是在说搬家是为了满足人们的各种要求，另外也是例证不够充分。你的作文运用例子就用得很好！
不要说请教啦，大家互相帮助，共同进步嘛。

idealibtUID：2667256

我好像改的有点多喂。。。。。。个人意见，仅供参考哇

陶太郎UID：3066263

2月11日
110115NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main role of the university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.

An increasing number of students go to college or university to accept higher education after high school. They should be aware of that the method of both learning and teaching at college is completely different from that of high schools. One of the most obvious distinctions is the main role of the university professor which has been a controversial issue. I don’t agree with the statement that the main role of the university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.

First of all, one of the most essential capacities students in colleges should have is to learn by themselves. While students in middle schools or high schools have to learn the knowledge that usually has been arranged by the teacher, students in colleges mostly discover what they need by themselves for their own majors. They spend more time in the school library instead of the classroom. Thus, what is the most important thing for a college student is to build his own system of learning and then put it into practice, but not take everything from the professor. In other words, the education from professors is not the first thing students need.

Besides, researching is the best complementary of education for both the professor and the student. Students in the university can learn the theory and the principle all by themselves, but sometimes they cannot get the latest research information and results by reading books. However, if the professor is just working with his researches or has just completed one, he may share his experience with his students. It is the research that both keeps the professor with the latest trend and teaches students what they cannot get from books, so that the professor cannot improve his knowledge without researching.

However, educating students is also the responsibility of a professor. Compared to those researchers, what makes a professor distinguished is his role as a teacher in the university. He has his responsibility. It is said that some professors often spare a little time on their students. For a professor, he needs to balance his time appropriately for arranging the class, revising the assignments, answering the question, etc. After all, he has to fulfill his social obligation because he has chosen to be a college teacher.

Above all, when discussing the main role of the university professor, I tend to emphasize the importance of doing researches rather than to educate students based upon those reasons. And it is possible for a professor is to combine both his roles properly.

idealibtUID：2667256

过来溜达看看，就改了第一段，供参考~
整体语句很通畅也

An increasing number of students go to college or university to accept higher education（可替换为to further their education） after high school. They should be aware of that the method of both learning and teaching at college is completely different from that (those) of high school. One of the most obvious distinctions is the main role of the university professor which has been a controversial issue (前一句讲大学的学习方法和教育方法和高中有很多不同，后面来了一句，其中，最大的不同是教授的角色不一样，二者好像没有很强的从属关系也). I don’t agree with the statement that the main role of the university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.

sodapengUID：3242849

已改~

陶太郎UID：3066263

2月13日
110815NA
One of your classmates needs help with some schoolwork. Which solution would you recommend your classmate should do: to ask you for help or to find a professional tutor for help. Include reasons and details to in your response.

Most of the people will not hesitate to give a hand if there is somebody asking for help. However, sometimes finding the best solution is more meaningful than showing the warmness. When one of my classmates needs help with some schoolwork, I prefer to ask him to find a professional tutor rather than helping him by myself.

A professional tutor is always there waiting for students to ask questions and offering their help without any reservation. Usually professional tutors have been trained for a long time and they know how to help students in the best way. When the student is in trouble, he may feel frustrated and depressed. The tutor will firstly help the student with his mental disorders and the student is encouraged to believe in himself again. A great tutor understands that the attitude of students when they face a problem is more important than the problem itself.

Professional tutors are also full of experience in their own realm and they can offer the best solution according to students’ questions. Having been educated at college for years, tutors are fully acknowledged in their fields and the level of their knowledge is far beyond the student’s. The solution offered by the tutor must be practical and easy to understand. What’s more, some good tutors would like to guide the student to think by themselves. They do not just tell the student the answer and explain; they are patient enough to inspire the student and develop their intelligence gradually.

Admittedly, helping my classmate myself also share its advantages. When asking me for help, the student will not feel nervous or anxious to be blamed. And the atmosphere of solving the problem will be easier and more relaxed just like in a discussion. From the process of solving the problem, both of us can review the knowledge that have been mentioned in the class and develop our capacity to think independently. At the same time, with helping each other, we can build our relationship as well.

Based upon the above reasons, compared to asking me for help, finding a professional tutor is a better choice, which will do a great help to the student.

idealibtUID：2667256

xoverUID：3247711

Most of the people will not hesitate to give a hand if there is somebody asking for help. However, sometimes finding the best solution is more meaningful than showing the warmness. When one of my classmates needs help with some schoolwork, I prefer to ask him to find a professional tutor rather than helping him by myself.

A professional tutor is always there waiting for students to ask questions and offering their help without any reservation. Usually professional tutors have been trained for a long time and they know how to help students in the best way. When the student is in trouble, he may feel frustrated and depressed. The tutor will firstly help the student with his mental disorders and the student is encouraged to believe in himself again. A great tutor understands that the attitude of students when they face a problem is more important than the problem itself.

Professional tutors are also full of experience in their own realm and they can offer the best solution according to students’ questions. Having been educated at college for years, tutors are fully acknowledged in their fields and the level of their knowledge is far beyond the student’s. The solution offered by the tutor must be practical and easy to understand. What’s more, some good tutors would like to guide the student to ( how to) think by themselves. (这样的表述似乎有点问题。不如在think前面加上how to.) They do not just tell the student the answer and explain; they are patient enough to inspire the student and develop their (his or her) intelligence gradually.

Admittedly, helping my classmate myself also share its advantages. When asking me for help, the student will not feel nervous or anxious to be blamed. And the atmosphere of solving the problem will be easier and more relaxed just like in a discussion. From the process of solving the problem, both of us can review the knowledge that have been mentioned in the class and develop our capacity to think independently. At the same time, with helping each other, we can build our relationship as well.

Based upon the above reasons, compared to asking me for help, finding a professional tutor is a better choice, which will do a great help to the student.


水平已经很高啦，个人觉得把让步段放在文章开头部分比较好。

wqr619UID：3007621

2月11日的
回复晚了，不好意思哈~~~