托福作文求打分

evavon22UID: 3252430

我4月20日考托福，因为没有参加过任何的托福班，所以对于自己作文水平心里确实很没底。建个帖子希望各位大牛帮忙修改一下。考过GRE，所以可能有很点GRE的作文思路，也不知道是否适合托福。求各位批改。这是我考场上的文章，求打分。

Imagine that you were sitting at the beach, admiring the glorious sunset, having a nice conversation with your best friends to share your common value of the life. You throw all the boring working stuffs behind your brain and just focused on what was in front. This is the most enjoyable vocation that everyone desires for, but few people think about what contributes to the enjoyable vocation. An enjoyable vocation should consist of beautiful scenery, delicious food, nice companions, good timing, and comfortable weather. In my view, I think the good location is the most important element of an enjoyable vocation.
First, a good location provides us with nice facilities. For example, in this spring break, I destroyed all the pleasure in New York. The subways there are smelly, and crowded. Citizens take serious working pressure. Trains go fast beside us when we walked along some road. The mass planning of this city makes us very uncomfortable so that we don't have any good mood to enjoy our trip. This city reminds the tourists the high working pressure.
Second, a good location brings much pleasure to tourists even though they travel alone. Once I spent the whole trip in Boston, and have a really good time without any friends around me. I saw the passengers walking their dogs in the Boston Common under the beautiful sunshine. I took the photos of buildings along with the Trait of Freedom. I tasted the special food in the Quincy Market. This city is a good place for tourists to relax themselves. If a city has a good location in its country, it is like an nice lady who are willing to  communicate with tourist from other parts of the world. Therefore, tourists do not need any friends because they have a nice new friend, the city.
Third, usually, there are tasty food in a city with good locations. This can be supported by several examples. Boston is very famous for the lobsters and other seafood. Miami is famous with the BBQ. In some case, travelling is a process for tourists to explore the adventures and unknown things that might happen on the way. Eating in a comfortable environment is a way to enjoy daily life at home, not in travelling.
To summarize, a good location is the most crucial for an enjoyable trip. Travelling is a process where we can expand our knowledge and learn deeply about the new landscape, culture, and tradition there.

evavon22UID: 3252430

求打分~~

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

2# evavon22

evavon22UID: 3252430

3# 秋雨荆州
Thank you very much. 很幸运那个老师给了我这篇文章不错的分数，24-30分。