小弟写了一篇作文，忘各位大神能够拍板！

绚彩迷风UID: 3200230

7, some people believe that government funding of the art is necessary to ensure that the arts can flourish and be avilable to all people. Others believe that government funding of the arts threatens the integrity of the arts.


I agree more with the statement that “ government funding of the art is necessary to ensure that the arts can flourish and be avilable to all people”, and I think that government funding will enchance the integrity of the arts, not threaten.

Arts creation needs money. Arts like people, and money were food. Without enough money, artists could not fully create their works, and arts would not fully developed. No matter painters, wiriters or musicans, all of them need money to live. According to Maslow, the great American psychologist, the basic need of human is the psychological need. Only when artists get enough funding, can they ensure to create masterpieces.

Nowadays, some of the arts are hardly appreciated by commom public, thus they cannot get the enough money from the public to continue. In order to avoid thest arts being extinct, it is essential for the goveronment to provide the fundings. Recently, a survey conducted by China Daily has showed that about 10 percent of the artists have to give up art creation as a result of lacking enough moeny. Among these artists, some of them are really excellent.

The integrity of arts means that all the arts can extist harmoniously. But without enough money, some of them would surely become extinct. Certainly, some traditionaly arts are not liked by most peole, but they do have great value. In this case, government funding is really helpful for arts to keep integrity.

It is the governmnt’s responsibility to ensure all the arts can flourish and be available to all the people, and peple certainly need arts to improve themselves.

crazyrobinUID: 2368627

这是托福作文吧
gre不可能出这种题

crazyrobinUID: 2368627

另外如果给你分的话
2或者2.5
理由
1，没有例子，有的话也是一代而过很浅显的连论证都没有
2，很多vague sentence，比如最后一句话， improve themselves. How??? Improve what
3，非常空的在说一些大空话，言之无物。
4，语法错误，Arts like people, and money were food
这句话只有中国人能看懂。。。。

绚彩迷风UID: 3200230

crazyrobin 发表于 2013-9-3 14:03
另外如果给你分的话
2或者2.5
理由

嗯，谢谢你了，我一定会改正的！