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issue 122
122) The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its role models.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
                          
                                

句子	动作分析	内容点评	语言表达点评
Is it possible to understand the character of a society by examining its role models’ character? In my opinion, the answer is negative.	表明自己的立场
The role models, in general, are selected intentionally by ruler and certain corporations in order to achieve political goal and make profit. Therefore, to examine these role models’ character is not the best way to understand the character of a society.	提出主旨句	这里in general太过肯定和sweeping 需要hedge
Some may argue that it is possible to acquire information about character of a society by checking on role model selected by ruler. I disagree with this statement and would demonstrate my disagreement.	提出挑战观点		demonstrate my disagreement搭配
To begin with, since the role models are selected by rulers for political purpose, examining their character can get nothing more than ruler’s ruling character and thus is not the best way to understand character of society.	提出分论点1	需要hedge你的前提 不能把它当做公理 限定具体的国家类型
For example, in the period of Saddam regime, Saddam is national role model chosen, of course, by himself. He often showed up in TV show or rally and gave speech to his people. In his speech, it is fulfilled with his ruling policy and how evil the western countries are. Obviously, the status of national role model is helpful for Saddam to rule people and stimulate people to fight against western countries.	提出支持分论点1的例子	fulfilled with his ruling policy and how evil the western countries are 表达问题  选词
If people try to examine him, they are more likely to acquire something related to Saddam’s ruling, which means examining Saddam is useless to understand character of Iraq society.	回应分论点1		acquire something 搭配 information about ... ruling?
In addition, because the role models are selected by certain corporations for making profit, it is more likely for people to collect something related to commercial profit as examining the character of these role models. Therefore, it is impossible to understand character of a society by examining character of role models.	提出分论点2	同样需要限定范围	collect something - information
For example, in China, many role models are selected and cultivated by so called Star Factory from ordinary people. After they become very famous, the Star Factory require them to contract with commercial firms and make profit from the contract. On the other hand, in order to perform the contract, the role models rely on their status of celebrity to help those commercial firms in advising products. Since the fans believe in their role mode and desire to experience what their role model have experienced, they would buy the products and thus the commercial firms would profit.	提出支持分论点2的例子	Star Factory 不懂 你的表格有问题 右边填不了
In this case, if people examine these role models, it is impossible to acquire something related to character of a society. Instead they may found something relevant to commercial profit, which means that examining these role models is not helpful to understand character of society.	回应分论点2		acquire something
Some argue that it is possible to acquire information about character of a society by checking on role model who are selected by ruler. For example, the survivor in Red Wing Operation is recognized as national role model by U.S government. His story is thought to be representative of individualistic heroism of U.S society.	挑战论点	我觉得这段内容不靠谱
However, in my opinion, this argument is more or less subject. For one thing, although the surviver had a tragic story that should be respected, his life is normal as that every ordinary U.S citizen has. Since a society normally has comprehensive and complex character, it is impossible to collect enough information about society from an ordinary people.	提出自己的观点，反驳挑战观点1		subject词性
Moreover, as we respect to the survivor, it is necessary to think about the role of U.S government in choosing this survivor as role model. In fact, as they advertise survivor’s story, they also emphasize necessity and rationality of continuing War in Afghanistan as well. This obviously imports the supporting rate of government and reduces the number of people who are discontent to current government.	提出反驳挑战观点2		respect to the survivor
Through these cases, it is clear that when people examine survivor’s character, they can receive little about U.S society and thus people cannot understand the character of society if they rely on survivor’s character.	回应自己的论点
In conclusion, since the role models are selected by ruler and certain corporations, I do not think to examine these role models are the best way to understand character of society.	总结主旨句

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sokiller 发表于 2015-6-18 20:54
issue 122
122) The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character o ...

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tesolchina 发表于 2015-6-19 08:30
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感谢老师 辛苦了！！

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84) The following is a letter to the editor of an environmental magazine.

Two studies of amphibians in Xanadu National Park confirm a significant decline in the numbers of amphibians. In 1975 there were seven species of amphibians in the park, and there were abundant numbers of each species. However, in 2002 only four species of amphibians were observed in the park, and the numbers of each species were drastically reduced. One proposed explanation is that the decline was caused by the introduction of trout into the park's waters, which began in 1975. (Trout are known to eat amphibian eggs.)

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

句子	动作分析	内容点评	语言表达点评
In magazine, the editor argues that the number of amphibians living in park are in danger of declining based on his explanation of two studies: only four species of amphibians remain; numbers of each species were reduced; trout is main cause of decline.	概括作者观点	作者不是editor 不是In danget 注意同意转换	后面的内容并不全是 explanation
In order to evaluate his argument, we should explore other alternative explanations.	回应题目要求
To begin with, given the fact that there were seven species of amphibians in the park in 1975, the editor thinks that the fact that only four species of amphibians remain in 2002 reflects the decline in the number of amphibians.	提出作者论据1
However, there may be some other explanations for the decline if we know all the species of amphibians in park and season that researchers hold the studies.	提出分论点1		when researchers conducted the studies
In general, many kinds of amphibian are used to migrate or find a hidden place to get into hibernation during the winter and come back to park in the spring.	提出一种替换解释		这里要指出是一种可能性  这里用in general； are used to 都不能体现是一种可能性
In this case, if the study in 2002 were hold only in winter, there is possibility that researchers of study did not find the species of amphibians that migrate or get into hibernation and thus the editor’s explanation may be problematic.	提出替换解释所能产生的结果	要指出实际数量可能比较大 要回应题目
In addition to the fact that four species of amphibians remain, the manager believes that the fact that the numbers of each remained species of amphibians reduced in 2002 also indicates that the numbers of amphibians decline significantly in park.	提出作者论据2	这里又变成了manager
Another explanation may come out if we know the number of amphibians in each year from 1975 to 2002.	提出分论点2	你应该直接提出有什么解释 而不是提出某种条件
Maybe the number of lost amphibians is far less than the total number of amphibians in 1975. If this is so, the decline may not be serious as editor thinks.	提出替换解释1，并解释可能产生的结果	不懂你在说什么 the numbers of each species were drastically reduced 你需要按照原题内容写作
Moreover, if the change of number follows a dynamic pattern: the number increases in some years, but decrease in other years, the decline in 2002 may be temporary and the number of amphibian may restore in the next years. If this is the case, the explanation for decline in 2002 may not be reasonable.	提出替换解释2，并解释可能产生的结果	你可以说也许过去这么多年两栖动物数量在大幅波动 但是你得想一个波动的理由是什么	断句
Finally the editor proposes that the introduction of trout is responsible to the decline of number of amphibians.	提出作者分论据3
There may be other explanations if we know whether there are other causes that can also reduce the number of amphibians playing their role.	提出分论点3		playing their role.不懂
For example, maybe the number of people who prefer catching amphibians for making specimen increases. Or maybe the number of another main predator who is native in park increases. If these are the cases, the number of amphibians will decrease significantly and the editor’s explanation is not suitable.	提出替换解释，解释可能产生的结果		主语太长
To conclude, before we agree with editor’s explanation of two studies, it is necessary to consider other alternative explanations first.	总结

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54) Humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago, and within 3,000 years most of the large mammal species that had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands had become extinct. Yet humans cannot have been a factor in the species' extinctions, because there is no evidence that the humans had any significant contact with the mammals. Further, archaeologists have discovered numerous sites where the bones of fish had been discarded, but they found no such areas containing the bones of large mammals, so the humans cannot have hunted the mammals. Therefore, some climate change or other environmental factor must have caused the species' extinctions.


Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

句子	动作分析	内容点评	语言表达点评
In this article, the author thinks that the extinction of large mammal species in the Kaliko Islands is caused by some climate change or other environmental factor rather than appearance of human beings.	概括作者观点
To prove his view, the author states assumptions over contact with mammals, human beings’s hunt and other alternative factors that can cause the extinctions.	列举作者的assumption		support his view made assumption about
We have to examine such assumptions first in order to agree with author.	回应题目要求		in order to evaluate the argument ...
To begin with, the author assumes that humans did not contact with large mammal species since there is no evidence associated with that. Based on this assumption, the author thinks human being is not the factor that could cause the extinction.	提出作者论据1
The author’s assumption may not be reasonable because no evidence does not mean no contact existed.	提出分论点1		contact occurred
It may be hard for modern people to find trace of ancient people since they lived about 7000 years ago. The evidence of contact with mammals may be weathered and disappeared as time pass. For example, if the ancient people recorded the contact with mammals on fur, there is possibility that such records disappeared or being destroyed that modern people could not find them. After all, the fur is not a durable writing material.	提出一种替换解释		ancient people recorded the contact 搭配
If this is so, the author’s assumption may not be true.	提出替换解释所能产生的结果	这里要讨论假设不成立对结论的影响 而不是假设本身对不对
In addition, it is assumed that humans had no interest in hunting large mammal species given the fact that some discarded bones of fish have been found in many areas and there is no areas containing the bones of mammals.	提出作者论据2	假设的概括有问题 不明白为什么要提到interest	area containing 选词
What if the ancient people did not treat bones of large mammals as that of fish after hunting? For the bones of mammals, the ancient people might have another plan.	提出分论点2		treat bones of large mammals (the same way) as that of fish
Since the mammals were so large, their bones may be big and durable. As a result, instead of discarding such bones casually, the ancient people might keep these bones and sharped them into tools for working or even hunting and or ornamentation.	提出替换解释
If this is true, it is impossible for modern people to find concentration of remained bones of mammals in certain areas and thereby to conclude that ancient people did not hunt large mammals.	解释可能产生的结果		it is impossible for modern people 注意hedging
climate change or other environmental factor is responsible to the extinction of mammal species.	提出作者分论据3	假设概括有问题 这个不是假设而是结论	it is also assumed that...
This assumption may be simplistic.	提出分论点3
First of all, we do not have climate data about past to analyze. So perhaps the climate changed drastically that leaded to extinction of large mammals. However, if the climate did not change or changed gently that could hardly influence population of large mammals, the climate change was not a factor of extinction.	提出替换解释1，解释可能产生的结果
Moreover, if the development of human being’s society leaded to the climate or environment change that contributed to the extinction, we cannot exclude human being as a factor. For example, if the ancient people deforest for agriculture development in order to respond to population growth, the living environment may not be suitable for mammals to live since they lived in forest.	提出替换解释2，解释可能产生的结果
Therefore, it is not reasonable to blame climate change or other environmental factor to extinction without sufficient climate data and consideration to human beings’ influence.	总结
To conclude, we need to evaluate author’s assumption about contract with mammals, human beings’s hunt and other alternative factors in order to agree with author’s view.	概括总结