毉易-牧羊人练习帖

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

koga 发表于 2015-7-3 14:17
1,syntax errors scatter here and there. e.g. the manager recommend, the decrease numbers of the audi ...

Thank you! really so many mistakes? do not fear me, no matter what, I'll make more efforts on it. thanks again!

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

tesolchina 发表于 2015-7-3 15:37
楼上的前两条说得挺好的 时态也是一个问题
逻辑的话 没仔细看  
感觉切入点还是找得不准

好的，太感谢王老师了，雪中送炭啊，我今天再写您写过的一篇看下。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-7-3 20:49
好的，太感谢王老师了，雪中送炭啊，我今天再写您写过的一篇看下。

As promised
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... ge=28#pid1779631433

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Over the long time, there is a dispute over the definition of what is a great nation. Some people contends that the greatest nation should be one that the general welfare of this nation's people is best; others argue that a great nation should be one that this nation has the most advanced technologies by its artists, scientists and rulers. However, as far as I am concerned, a great nation should be defined according to the different times like peaceful times, war times, and special times.

To begin with, a great nation of a peaceful time should focus on the general welfare of its people. For if the general welfare of this nation's people are boosted, the strength of this country will also be enhanced. Take today's china for instance, with help of the Open Policy of the central government of China, China have gone through a 7-8% increase of its GDP those years, the people's life have greatly boosted compared to decades ago, as a result, this country has become the second strongest nation in the world.

However, a great nation of a war time should concentrate its strengths on the technologies. For example, the Second World War had killed millions of people all over the world, it is axiomatic that the most significant goal of the war is to fight for peace and human rights. At this time, a great nation should spare no efforts to develop its technologies like Atom powers and advanced guns to protect its people from the harmful impacts of the war. Take American for example, the victory of this country owes much to its high-tech like the Information and computers system, the strongest militant power.

In addition, when a country go through a special progress like economic crisis or natural disasters, the surest indicator of a great nation should depend on how this country could improve the situation and the general welfare of its people. Take the 1929 economic crisis for example, when many people even did not have enough food to eat, enough clothes to wear, enough jobs to sustain their family, this country should not focus on the developments of its technologies and arts regardless the poverty of its people. the surest goal of a great nation should spare no efforts to improve people's lives and boost the developments of its economy.

Taken together, the surest indicator of a great nation could be varied from time to time and we should evaluate the different backgrounds to make a sound conclusion.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

However, as far as I am concerned, a great nation should be defined according to the different times like peaceful times, war times, and special times.
你的主旨句都没有回应题目的关键词 Indicator
To begin with, a great nation of a peaceful time should focus on the general welfare of its people.
主题句也是 题目说的是indicator  你却说什么great nation should 如何 差的十万八千里了  
题目是要你在两者之间选一个
你的中间第二段完全离题了

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station.

"Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station's coverage of weather and local news. In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have canceled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to our news programs and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should expand our coverage of weather and local news on all our news programs."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

According to the business manager of the television station, the station should expand their coverage of weather and local news on their all news programs on several assumptions; that's the complaints from views of the shortage of coverage of weather and local news; the decreased commercial advertisements; and the impetus of boosting viewers. However, to soundly evaluate the assumptions above, we some more details and inferences.

To begin with, the manager states the needs to cover weather and local news on the assumption that the viewers had complained the shortage of those information. However, since the manager did not tell us more details about the viewers, we could not take their advice too hastily. If there are only several viewers and they continuously argue for the coverage of weather and local news, and thus those several viewers could not represent the whole viewers of that area. Therefore, this assumption is unwarranted since the manager did not explain more details of the viewers.

What's more, another assumption which the manager depends is that local businesses have concealed their advertising contracts with the station. This assumption is also unwarranted in that the manager did not explain the reasons that why those local businesses stopped to continue their contracts with the TV station, perhaps it is because that those businesses had a financial crisis or they need money to invest a program, which could also explain why those businesses ceased to cooperate with the TV station.

Last but not least, the third assumption the manager relies on is that the new coverage of local news and weather would not decrease viewers and advertising revenues. However, this assumption is also unwarranted for that the added programs may not meet the expectation of the manager. If, actually the viewers and local businesses do not care about local news and weather programs, and then the new arrangements will not work at all. As a result, the viewers and the advertising revenues will not increase.

Taken together, considering many implications and probabilities that the new coverage of local news and weather program may not work for the assumptions the manager posit, the manager might should make a thoroughly investigation to get a consummate conclusion then.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

tesolchina 发表于 2015-7-3 23:13
However, as far as I am concerned, a great nation should be defined according to the different times ...

王老师好神速啊，确实在写的时候没关注indicator，审题不慎啊，简直都无法原谅自己了，主旨句应该整理成the surest indicator of a nation should be tailored for defferent times, like the peaceful times, war times as well as special times and so on;相应的正文的三个段落也因该修改，明天来从新改写一遍。
谢谢王老师一针见血的批评！

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

王老师抱歉，这篇argument20 是在考满分网站上练得，发现您没有这篇范文，我明天再补一篇哦！@tesolchina

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

tesolchina 发表于 2015-7-3 23:07
However, as far as I am concerned, a great nation should be defined according to the different times ...

王老师我又改写了一下：
The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Over the long time, there is a dispute over the indicator of a great nation is. Some people contends that the surest indicator of a greatest nation should be one that the general welfare of this nation's people is best; others argue that the indicator of a great nation should be one that this nation has the most advanced technologies by its artists, scientists and rulers. However, as far as I am concerned, the surest indicator of a nation should be tailored for different times, like the peaceful times, war times as well as special times and so on

To begin with, over the peaceful times, the strongest indicator of a great nation should be the soundness of general welfare of its people. For if the general welfare of this nation's people are boosted, the strength of this country will also be enhanced. Take today's china for instance, with help of the Open Policy of the central government of China, China have gone through a 7-8% increase of its GDP those years, the people's life have greatly boosted compared to decades ago, as a result, this country has become the second strongest nation in the world.

However, the finest indicator of a great nation of a war time should be the level of its advanced technologies. For example, the Second World War had killed millions of people all over the world, it is axiomatic that the most significant goal of the war is to fight for peace and human rights. At this time, a great nation should spare no efforts to develop its technologies like nuclear powers and advanced guns to protect its people from the harmful impacts of the war. Take American for example, the victory of this country owes much to its high-tech like the Information and computers system, which are the strongest militant power.

In addition, the surest indicator of a great nation when a country go through a special progress like economic crisis or natural disasters, should depend on how this country could improve the situation and the general welfare of its people. Take the 1929 economic crisis for example, when many people even did not have enough food to eat, enough clothes to wear, enough jobs to sustain their family, this country should not focus on the developments of its technologies and arts regardless the poverty of its people. Take Franklin D. Roosevelt for example, The New Deal has saved millions of Americans. Therefore, the surest goal of a great nation should spare no efforts to improve people's lives and boost the developments of its economy.

Taken together, the best indicator of a great nation could be varied from time to time and we should evaluate the different backgrounds to make a sound conclusion.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

Since those issues of Newsbeat magazine that featured political news on their front cover were the poorest-selling issues over the past three years, the publisher of Newsbeat has recommended that the magazine curtail its emphasis on politics to focus more exclusively on economics and personal finance. She points to a recent survey of readers of general interest magazines that indicates greater reader interest in economic issues than in political ones. Newsbeat's editor, however, opposes the proposed shift in editorial policy, pointing out that very few magazines offer extensive political coverage anymore.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

According to the publisher in the passage, the Newsbeat magazine should decrease its emphasis on politics and concentrate more exclusively on economics and personal finance. The recommendations are based on the following evidence, the Newsbeat magazine that featured politics news has poor outcomes over the past three years; the recommendation that the magazine should transfer its focus from politics to economical and personal finance; the survey which indicates greater readers' interest in economic issues. However, there are several questions we need to ask concerning the evidence above.

To begin with, we need to question the real reason the explains the decline in selling issues of the Newsbeat magazine. Since the author did not tell us any indications that explain why such a decrease could happen, we could not blame the reduction of the issues of Newsbeat magazine to the politics issues alone. Since there are others reasons, for example, over the three years the economy in this place is depressed and thus, people are reluctant to read the issues of this magazine and even have no extra money to buy this magazine.

What's more, we should ask the publisher why the transition from the politics to the economic issues is justified. Since he or she did not have any systematical foundation for doing so and the publisher could not guarantee any benefits of this change. For instance, do the residents really like economic issues? If compared to the economical and personal issues, people perfer the politics, and therefore, the transition would not achieve any outcomes. Therefore, unless the publisher could provide more solid foundations to justify the change, or the recommendation is unwarranted.

Thirdly, we need to question the accuracy of the survey the publisher points to. Was this survey conducted in this place or world widely? Who were the responders? Did those responders represent the whole people in this place and were the questions in the survey scientific and impartial? For example, if the survey only asked ten housewives for several informal talks, and then, the results of this survey would not have any credence. Without those answers, we could not believe that this survey could apply to the Newsbeat magazine.

In conclusion, before making a final decision, the editor and the publisher should reasonably consider the question above, it is axiomatic that they should make a thorough research to make a consummate decision.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

1) As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of

humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree

with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In

developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the

statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations

shape your position.

With the fast-growing development of technology, there are many things can be

done by machines; to some extent, people seem like more indolent and too

lethargic to think about themselves than before; However, maybe the opposite is

true, people are more care about themselves and the ability of them to think

about themselves is not necessarily deteriorate.
think about themselves- think for ... 你好像把题目看错了 连续用

think about
而且我看不懂你的主旨句里的三个point  请学习一下1+3模型  

there be句型语法错误
are more care about 语法




To begin with, people today seems more lax than before, especially with the

advent of the several Industrial Revolution, 断句 it

seems that those people are immersing the achievements and accomplishments of

the state-of-art technology and stopping to work any further.整句

不知道你在说啥 Take air-conditioner for example, people in the ancient

past they do not have any electricity let alone an air-conditioner; And thus,

the diligent people in the past spared no efforts to invent the electricity and

the air-conditioner for they did not always wanted to waste time on searching a

place where there was little sun-burn. It's their contemplations on themselves

that many other inventions, like TV set, Internet, Mobile phones, Cars and so

forth, other than air-conditioner, that those inventions can made into being.

However, people today seems take it for grant that those inventions are the

nature products of their lives, therefore, they are reluctant to think about

their new and future needs; if they constantly object to think about for

themselves, it is axiomatic that the abilities to care for themselves will

deteriorate.


In contrast to the mentions above, with the technology proceeds（

严重语法错误）, people today are more and more caring about themselves.

According to a survey conducted in the year of 2000 by the Technology and

Education Institution, on average, people today actually invent as far as 1

million things or patents one year, comparing to several thousand inventions in

the past. It seems that the inventions constructed in the past cast more

influence on us today and there are almost nothing new compared to the past.

However, the technologies and inventions designed today are more reclusive when

contrasted with past. For example, with the explosive development of the

technologies of Computers and the Internet, actually, there are hundreds of new

software and APPs that come into being to improve the quality of our life. Can't

those new products justify that people today are more and more concerning for

themselves?

What's more, with the advent of the technology, the abilities that people think

for themselves are boosted by those inventions rather than restrained by them.

Also take computers for example, people today can us Photoshop to beautify their

photos; they can create new programs to solve some questions that beyond human

resources can achieve, like sequencing the genome of a man, since there are

countless bases in the genome of a species, without the computer programs,

humans alone cannot solve this problem, at least in their lifetime. With the

knowledge of the sequence of the genome, we can predict the probabilities that

we could develop some diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure and so on.

Therefore, with the participations of the technologies, the abilities that

people concerning for themselves are enhanced rather than diminished.

Taken together, when we talk about the abilities of our humans to care for

themselves regarding with more and more technology, it too superficial to say

that the technologies deteriorate our abilities to take care of ourselves.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

6) Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


According to the passage mentioned in the question, there are several reasons for the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. That's the reports of locals and recent global warming trends. However, if we trust the conclusion in the passage is true, we need several details of the argument of the hunters and the condition of recent global warming as well as whether there are other reasons for the decline of the deer.

First of all, we need evidence to evaluate the rightness of the claims of local hunters. Since it is local hunters that report that the deer populations are declining rather than an official government, we need to question the accuracy of the statements of those hunters. How they conducted the research that lead them to the conclusion that the population of the deer in declining? Are the methods be scientific and impartial? Or it is just those hunters fabricate the illusory that actually they want to hunt more deer without other potential rivals. All those questions need to be answered if let us trust what the hunters' saying is trustable.

Secondly, we need to know what state or degree of global warming that can cause the sea ice to melt? Are the reports truly reflect the reality of the current state of global warming? Are those reports trustable? How do they carry out the study? Are the methods they use scientifically and correctly? We have warrant to question that the current levels of global warming could not melt the ice of sea for over the decades maybe there were no more than 1 centigrade rise in the temperature.

Last but not least, we need to ask are there other reasons that accounting for the current decline of the deer other than global warming and the statements of the hunters. The answer is almost yes! Maybe there are a disease that is sweeping among the deer, which causes the population of the deer to decline? Or it is the population of some attackers of those deer, like lions and tigers, are increasing that those carnival animals eat many deer that lead the wither condition of the deer today. As a matter of fact, without certificating those questions above we could not come to a conclusion just based on the global warming and the reports of the hunters.

In the end, those reasons mentioned in the passage of the question are needed to be verified to let us trust their standing points. More details mentioned above are need to be evaluated to come to a consummate conclusion the current states of the population of the deer.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

O(∩_∩)O谢谢王老师@tesolchina的点评
按照老师的修改建议自查如下：
1、To begin with, people today seems more lax than before, especially with the advent of the several Industrial Revolution, 断句 it seems that those people are immersing the achievements and accomplishments of the state-of-art technology and stopping to work any further.
本句我想表达一个反向的观点，表面上看人们是越来越依赖科技而不思进取。后面两段是要反驳这段。不过这段表达的确实不令人满意。
2、Also take computers for example, people today can use Photoshop to beautify their photos; they can create new programs to solve some questions that beyond human abilities to achieve, like sequencing the genome of a man, since there are countless bases in the genome of a species, without the computer programs, humans alone cannot solve this problem, at least in their lifetime.
3、with the technology proceeds 改为 with the development of technology
4、think about 应为 think for ，确实用错了，本来想用care about 代替下think for 不然显得没有变化，可一时也没有想到可以代替的词或词组。
5， 1+3 模型用的还不熟，还要多练习。

晚上在老师的帖子下面反馈。

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

4) Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Scandals, just as the name implies, is a shameful thing, for they can expose one's privacy and have a disastrous impact on the main characters of those scandals. However, as far as I know, scandals could be useful in some extent particularly in politics and recreational industry, that's without those scandals, we couldn't know the true personality of a person or a government.

To begin with, it is axiomatic that almost no one willfully to expose one's privacy to others and nobody wants to the victim of scandals, which has a negative effect on one's mood and physical healthy. According to a survey conducted over a long periods of time by the Institute of Science and Technology, this investigation was conducted among as many as one hundred thousand people over ten years in American, and the scientists of this Institute found that, on average, those people who were the victims of the scandals would develop as much three times the probabilities of cardiovascular or other diseases as common people, which emphasized the detrimental effect of those scandals to people.

However, in the atmosphere of politic, scandals can reveal something that no media or reformer could acquire despite that those scandals are not welcomed by the victims, what's more, those scandals could even be used by the opposite party to win a political election. Take the former president, Clinton for example, even though the Incidence of the Lewinsky's skirt can be justified today, the incidence indeed brought many problems of the government of White House over that period; clearly, without the scandals, we could not understand how the complexity of the politics in the White House and it is our right to know as we could know about the leaders of our government. Certainly a scandal like this would not exposed by any speaker of the government and any reformer for the possibilities of revenge.

Last but not least, scandals which take place on the movie actors or singers could also make us more familiar with the personalities of those heroes or heroines in our mind. Take Jay Chun for example, before the sex scandals, he was endeared by millions of followers, there were no seats left when his movies were released over the world. However, a piece of sex scandal indeed undermines his fames and let us know that an excellent actor does not necessarily mean his or her moral is also out of competence. Also, without the accident exposition of the scandals, we have no way to know the actor in his private life, and those scandals would not be revealed by his speaker or any reformer either.

Taken together, scandals could be beneficial to our government as far as the justice and our rights are concerned; what's more, scandals could keep us awake during the illusions of a charming actors or singers even though those scandals could defame them and bring a disaster to them. However, when weighs the pros and cons of scandals, we could certainly prefer to the beneficial side of those scandals.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

13）universities should require every students to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.


With the fast developing world, the best education varies from person to person.
Nowadays, with the advent of floods of technologies, like information technology and broadcast technology, students could learn more knowledge and skills as long as they want; what’s more, students can also tailor their studies to their interests. Therefore, it is not much necessary to require every students to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study.

Admittedly, it's every university and parents' dream to let their students and children be full developed. According to a survey conducted by Institute of Technology and Education in 1000 universities or campus, 92% of them will broaden their school's major and libraries to widen their students' horizons, as for the reason, those universities or campus put that the more educational resources the more choices their students can have. Thus, it's obviously that those institutes want their students to take plenty of courses outside their field to better prepare themselves to have a promising future.

However, there are following reasons that not every student will embrace the point the universities take. Firstly, many majors, take medicine for example, those students who choose this subjects already have many course per se, as a result, those students will not have enough time to take courses beyond their major. Take my friend John for example, he had chosen clinical medicine for his major; and everyday he has as many as 12 courses to learn, that's from 7:00 am to 21:00 pm; thus, he had no time to study other knowledge at all. What's more, after three-year's learning, he will go to a hospital to take an internship, there forth, taking a lot of courses outside his major just like daydreaming.

what's more, many graduate students who specialized in biology and engineering and so forth will also welcome the idea that they should take various of courses out of their fields. It's axiomatic that as they step further to their fields they will concentrate more details of their major. Take myself for example, I am a graduate student specializing in biomedicine, it's a routine for me to research my topic and look up the latest periodicals to best inform me about what happened in my fields; As a result, I will not take any courses outside my fields unless those knowledge is relevant to my study; and so do my friends.

In short, the starting point of taking various of courses beyond students’ fields is good, however, when the universities implanting this policy to their students, those campus should take students' realities into consideration        ; otherwise, it will not yields expectable results.