毉易-牧羊人练习帖

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

91) The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.


Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.  

Over the long history, whether the invention of the Telephone or the Internet and so forth, those technologies have indeed enhanced our efficiency, actually, the primary ends of those inventions are to save our time while to work better. However, when it comes to its effects, they will largely depend on the what kinds of people to take advantage these technologies, which means that the advanced technologies may not let people have more leisure time, the opposite is sometimes true.
history of what?
第一句需要断句  
第二句也需要断句  
they will largely depend 指代不明
the what kinds (?)



In the first place, the burgeoning of the Internet and various state-of-art facilities have greatly enhanced scientists and students' efficiency to browse the website to acquire knowledge more efficient, nonetheless, those professors and students have less time to relax owing to the fierce competition among scientific fields. Take my instructor and laboratory for instance, owing to the available of the Internet and the advanced experimental devices, we could look for almost any information at seconds and perform a small experiments like PCR in thirty minutes, which was unthinkable in the past. Those technologies have largely saved our time. However, we have more assignments to keep pace of the knowledge of our fields and more experiments to perform owing to the fast development of the technologies and burst of people knowledge. Therefore, although it seems that the Internet and those fanfares have indeed salvaged our work time, they actually deprive our leisure time to relax.


断句问题
另外需要强调科技的目的应该是什么  (should)
the available of the Internet - 词性  
look for - locate
at seconds  - instantly
salvaged our work time- 选词  

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

54) Humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago, and within 3,000 years most of the large mammal species that had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands had become extinct. Yet humans cannot have been a factor in the species' extinctions, because there is no evidence that the humans had any significant contact with the mammals. Further, archaeologists have discovered numerous sites where the bones of fish had been discarded, but they found no such areas containing the bones of large mammals, so the humans cannot have hunted the mammals. Therefore, some climate change or other environmental factor must have caused the species' extinctions.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

According to the argument, the climate change or other environmental factor are the main causes that contribute to the extinctions of some large mammal specious. Here are several assumptions that the passage depend on: there will be no evidence that the humans had any significant contact with the mammals; the bones of those mammals should be found in the same places with the discoveries of bones of fish as well as the definite factors such as some climate change or other environmental factor that lead to the mammals' extinctions.
你的冒号之前写得挺好
具体的这几个假设 很有问题  你可以去看看范文里指出的假设  
另外 你开头段写完整的假设 到后面怎么办  建议只需要指出几个方面

In the first place, the passage assumes that there will be no evidence to prove that humans had any impact on those mammals. However, this assumption might not hold true, since humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago and those large mammal species that had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands had become extinct within 3,000 years,断句 there is a possibility that humans could coexist with those large mammals. What's more, since the evidences of the contacts of humans and those large animals have not found yet, we could not sure whether they would be found in the future.

假设提的不对 整段就废掉了  
断句的问题还是没解决  


In the second place, the argument assumes that the bones of those mammals should be found in the same places with the discoveries of bones of fish. Nonetheless, this assumption might not be warranted either, since there might be other reasons that the bones of those mammals had not buried in the same sites where the discoveries of the bones of fish. For example, the fish could be eat by humans and the bones of those creatures were useless to those humans, while the bones of those large mammals could be used by those humans for other useful practices, like religious purposes and those humans could use the bones of those large animals to hunt other animals. Therefore, the bones of those large mammals could be buried somewhere else.

假设还是不对
there might be other reasons 你前面的假设没有提到reason啊 这里的other从何说起  


Finally, the passage assumes that some climate change or other environmental factor surely lead to the mammals' extinctions. However, this assumption might not be true either. Since there were only 3000 years, the climate might not varied too much to engender the rate of survive of those large animals. In addition, the passage did not provide any evidence to prove the link between the extinction of those large animals and the change of the climate or the environment. Particularly, it could be exactly the activities of humans then, like hunting and the deforestation, that contribute to the extinctions of those large animals.

假设不对 你这个假设就是把结论复述了一遍 汗

In the end, without clarifying those assumptions above, we might not come the conclusion that some climate change or other environmental factor are the main killer to the extinction to those large mammals.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-7-19 21:51
91) The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that  ...

Over the long history, whether the invention of the Telephone or the Internet and so forth, those technologies have indeed enhanced our efficiency, actually, the primary ends of those inventions are to save our time while to work better. However, when it comes to its effects, they will largely depend on the what kinds of people to take advantage these technologies, which means that the advanced technologies may not let people have more leisure time, the opposite is sometimes true.
history of what?
第一句需要断句  
第二句也需要断句  
they will largely depend 指代不明
the what kinds (?)

Over the long river of history, no matter the invention of the Telephone or the Internet and so forth, those technologies have indeed greatly enhanced our efficiency. Actually, the primary ends of those inventions are to save our time while to let us work better. However, the effects of those advances could be varied among people, depending on what kinds of purposes of those people to take advantage of those skills. Therefore, the advanced technologies may not necessarily let people have more leisure time, the opposite is sometimes true.

In the first place, the burgeoning of the Internet and various state-of-art facilities have greatly enhanced scientists and students' efficiency to browse the website to acquire knowledge more efficient, nonetheless, those professors and students have less time to relax owing to the fierce competition among scientific fields. Take my instructor and laboratory for instance, owing to the available of the Internet and the advanced experimental devices, we could look for almost any information at seconds and perform a small experiments like PCR in thirty minutes, which was unthinkable in the past. Those technologies have largely saved our time. However, we have more assignments to keep pace of the knowledge of our fields and more experiments to perform owing to the fast development of the technologies and burst of people knowledge. Therefore, although it seems that the Internet and those fanfares have indeed salvaged our work time, they actually deprive our leisure time to relax.


断句问题
另外需要强调科技的目的应该是什么  (should)
the available of the Internet - 词性  
look for - locate
at seconds  - instantly
salvaged our work time- 选词  

In the first place, the burgeoning of the Internet and various state-of-art facilities should spare no efforts to boost the efficiency of working, while the effects of those advanced devices could also cause some counter-effects sometimes. Take the scientific fields of biology for example, the Internet and auto-machines have greatly enhanced scientists' and students' efficiency to browse the website instantly to acquire the latest scientific papers and perform a small experiments like PCR in thirty minutes, which was unthinkable in the past. Paradoxically, those professors and students have even more less time to relax owing to the fierce competition among scientific fields. We have more assignments to keep pace of the knowledge of our fields and more experiments to perform owing to the fast development of the technologies and burst of people knowledge. Therefore, although it seems that the Internet and those fanfares have indeed saved our work time, they actually deprive our leisure time to relax.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

78) People’s attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by society as a whole.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

We all know that humans are sociable animals, therefore, our attitudes would be influenced by many factors which might include our immediate surroundings and the whole society we are in. As for what’s more significant to our attitudes, it would largely depend on what stages we are going through. Since in different development periods like the stages of pre-school children, students and adults, our minds are shaped by different reasons.

sociable? social
therefore前后断句
what stages in life
since后面不能跟完整的句子  
shaped by different reasons搭配


In the first place, when we are in the pre-school stages, our attitudes would be mainly rely on our immediate situation or surrounding. For example, when a child first coming to the world, since s/he could not speak and understand the values and principles of the world, 断句what s/he could do is to listen and watch the surroundings with curiosity. What's more, in this stage, parents could impose nearly 100 percent influence on their children, since those babies could not even to walk or communicate with his or her peers, the most instructors and audiences would be their parents rather than the whole social surroundings.

would be mainly rely on  语法 搭配  整段没有讨论态度  
the whole social surroundings这是回应surrounding还是society as a whole



Secondly, when we progress into the stages of students, we are also more influenced by our surroundings like parents, classmates as well as teachers and so on. According to a survey conducted in the whole country by the Institute of Science and Technology, forty percent of students' attitudes are determined by their parents; thirty-five percent of students' attitudes are determined by their classmates; twenty-four percent of students' opinions are determined by their teachers and only one percent of their attitudes are determined by the whole society. The results of this report clearly indicate that students' opinions would be largely rely on their immediate situation or surroundings rather than by society as a whole.

attitudes on what  你这个survey编得太不靠谱了 最关键的问题就是没有具体讨论针对什么的态度  而且这种survey都是社科机构做的


Finally, when we walk into the stage of adults, our attitudes would be mainly depended on the society as a whole rather than our social surroundings. That's because we could think for ourselves as an adult and we no longer only depend on our immediate surroundings to make a decision. Take a stock holder for example,断句 his or her decisions to buy any stocks in the market are no longer determined by their teachers and parents and so forth, rather, 断句 they will make their choices by considering the social policies and the strategies of our country as well as the economic developments of our country as a whole.

would be mainly depended  

stock holder - investors in the stock market
这里的态度在哪里 又不见了 汗  

In conclusion, whether our attitudes would be influenced by our immediate surroundings or the whole society will be largely depended on what developmental stages we are in.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

argument 62) The following appeared in a memo from the director of a large group of hospitals.
"In a laboratory study of liquid antibacterial hand soaps, a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in our hospitals. During a subsequent test of UltraClean at our hospital in Workby, that hospital reported significantly fewer cases of patient infection than did any of the other hospitals in our group. Therefore, to prevent serious patient infections, we should supply UltraClean at all hand-washing stations throughout our hospital system.”
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

In the argument, the director of the large group of hospitals concluded that they should supply UltraClean at all hand-washing stations throughout their hospital system. However, his assumptions are poor based, which are the authentic laboratory, the real causes of the decreased patient infections and the practice of supplying UltraClean throughout their whole hospital system.

his assumptions are poor 词性 based
which are the authentic laboratory, the real causes of the decreased patient infections and the practice of supplying UltraClean

假设和后面的内容搭配有问题  假设一般是某种关系


In the first place, the director assumed that the laboratory test was effective and authentic. However, the argument did not tell us anything about the process of the laboratory test. And thus the conclusion that a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps currently used was not warranted. For example, if the amount of concentrated solution of UltraClean used to reduce the bacteria population is ten times of the liquid hand soaps currently used, and the results would be that the concentrated solution is better. Actually, there is a possibility that the liquid hand soaps currently used is better at inhibiting bacteria than concentrated solution of UltraClean does when the two solutions are used in same dose.
这个assumption写得不好 太笼统了  
应该找到原论证中所暗示的某两件事之间的关系
最后两句的讨论还不错


What's more, the director assumed that the concentrated solution of UltraClean was responsible for the effects of hospital reported significantly fewer cases of patient infection. However, this assumption is poor based either. Since there were many other reasons which could contribute to the fewer cases of patient infection. For example, maybe it is the clean environment of the hospital or the better facilities in the hospital or the state-of-art skills of the doctor in the hospital that contribute to the fewer cases of patient infection rather the implementation of the concentrated solution of UltraClean.

the effects of hospital reported significantly fewer cases of patient infection句子结构
this assumption is poor based either. 不能说假设不对 而应该说还需要进一步的调查
reasons which could contribute 搭配  


Last but not least, the director assumed that the other hospitals were similar enough to the hospital which used the concentrated solution of UltraClean and the results of the effects of UltraClean could apply to other hospitals. Clearly, the director's assumption might not be warranted considering the differences among those hospitals. For example, the financial support of those hospitals might be different from each other, and some hospitals might be have any budget to buy those UltraClean. What's more, the facilities and the surroundings of those hospitals might be varied from each other, and some hospitals might need not to buy the concentrated solution of UltraClean at all.

你漏掉了关于serious infection的问题  


In conclusion, without clarifying those assumptions above, the director might not too hasty to apply that UltraClean to all hospitals.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-7-23 21:25
78) People’s attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by soc ...

issue 78 全文修改如下：

We all know that humans are social animals. Therefore, our attitudes would be influenced by many factors which might include our immediate surroundings and the whole society we are in. As for what’s more significant to our attitudes, it would largely depend on what stages in life. For example, our immediate surroundings might be more significant when we are in the stages of pre-school children and students; however, when we progress into the period of adults, the whole society might be more important to us.

In the first place, when we are in the pre-school stages, our attitudes would be mainly rely on our immediate situation or surrounding. For example, when a child first coming to the world, since s/he could not speak and understand the values and principles of the world. What s/he could do is to listen and watch the surroundings with curiosity. What's more, in this stage, parents could impose nearly 100 percent influence on their children, since those babies could not even to walk or communicate with his or her peers, the most instructors and audiences would be their parents rather than the whole society. And thus, those babies’ attitudes and outlook of the world are shaped by their parents and immediate surroundings.

Secondly, when we progress into the stages of students, we are also more influenced by our immediate surroundings like parents, classmates as well as teachers and so on. According to a survey conducted in the whole country by the Institute of Social Science, forty percent of students' attitudes towards the outlook on life and world as well as the sense of worth are determined by their parents; thirty-five percent of students' attitudes are determined by their classmates; twenty-four percent of students' opinions are determined by their teachers and only one percent of their attitudes are determined by the whole society. The results of this report clearly indicate that students' conceptions and almost all opinions would be largely rely on their immediate situation or surroundings rather than by society as a whole.

Finally, when we walk into the stage of adults, our attitudes would be shaped by the society as a whole rather than by our immediate social surroundings. That's because we could think for ourselves as an adult and we no longer only depend on our immediate surroundings to make a decision. Take a stock holder’s attitudes towards his stocks for example; his or her decisions to buy his or her preferable stocks in the market are no longer determined by their teachers and parents and so forth. Rather, they will make their own choices by considering the social policies and the strategies of our country as well as the economic developments of our society as a whole.

In conclusion, whether our attitudes would be influenced by our immediate surroundings or the whole society will be largely depended on what developmental stages we are in.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

argument 62 全文修改：

In the argument, the director of the large group of hospitals concluded that they should supply UltraClean at all hand-washing stations throughout their hospital system. However, the logic of his assumptions is unwarranted because of his unsupported assumptions, which includes that the laboratory study is convincing; the UltraClean is the main cause of the reported significantly fewer cases of patient infection; and others hospitals are similar enough as the hospital under testing.

In the first place, the director assumed that the results of the laboratory test are convincing and the concentrated solution of UltraClean is better than the liquid hand soaps currently used at any time. However, the argument did not tell us anything about the process of the laboratory test. And thus the conclusion that a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps currently used was not warranted. For example, if the amount of concentrated solution of UltraClean used to reduce the bacteria population is ten times of the liquid hand soaps currently used, and the results would be that the concentrated solution is better. Actually, there is a possibility that the liquid hand soaps currently used is better at inhibiting bacteria than concentrated solution of UltraClean does when the two solutions are used in same dose.

What's more, the director assumed that the concentrated solution of UltraClean was the only factor that is responsible for the beneficial effects of the reported significantly fewer cases of patient infection. However, this assumption is unsupported and needs to be scrutinized thoroughly. Since there were many other causes which could lead to the fewer cases of patient infection. For example, maybe it is the clean environment of the hospital or the better facilities in the hospital or simply the state-of-art skills of the doctor in the hospital that contribute to the fewer cases of patient infection rather the implementation of the concentrated solution of UltraClean.

Last but not least, the director assumed that the other hospitals were similar enough to the hospital which used the concentrated solution of UltraClean, and the results of the effects of UltraClean could apply to other hospitals. Clearly, the director's assumption might not be warranted considering the differences among those hospitals. What’s more, the director fails to consider that those differences among those hospitals could also result in the varied incidences of infection. For example, the financial support of those hospitals might be different from each other, and some hospitals might not have any budget to buy those UltraClean, and thus those hospitals which do not plan to buy the UltraClean might have high incidences of infection. In addition, the facilities and the surroundings of those hospitals might be varied from each other, and some hospitals might need not to buy the concentrated solution of UltraClean at all.

In conclusion, without clarifying those assumptions above, the director might not too hasty to apply that UltraClean to all hospitals.


我在65楼提醒你 要注意题目中的serious infection这个关键词 但是你重新写的文章还是没有处理
你修改的时候不考虑我的意见 这是几个意思呢

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

100) Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country.
Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.

In order to improve students' comprehensive abilities, colleges and universities might require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country. However, as far as I am concerned, this practice is ill considered for the following reasons: firstly, not all students are suitable for a semester studying in a foreign country; secondly, not all students could afford the expenses of studying in a foreign country; finally, with the developments of the Science and Technology, students need not necessarily to study a semester in a foreign country.

comprehensive abilities 汉英直译啊
this practice -this policy （选词）
（ for a semester 句子结构） studying in a foreign country
students need not necessarily to study 动词用法 - do not have to

这个主旨句写得挺好  


First of all, as mentions above, it is self-evident that not all students who are suitable for studying such a long time in an exotic country. Take a friend of mine who is majoring in the Clinical Medicine for example,断句 in the first three years of his five-year schooling, he has to study the basic knowledge about his major, like College English, Physical Health, Molecular Biology, Biochemistry, Bio-statistics, Anatomy, Pharmaceutical and so forth, those subjects are so many that he has nearly ten classes every day. What's more, in his last two years of his schooling, he has to take an internship in a hospital to make his knowledge into practice, since that the paramount thing of his duty is to become a doctor. Therefore, those students who like him would reluctant to go abroad to study a semester.

not all students who are suitable for studying such a long time in an exotic country句子结构 汗 你的断句问题还没解决
those subjects are so many that 句子结构
Therefore, those students who like him would reluctant to go abroad to study a semester.句子结构
这个主题句可以改一下 直接说 没时间  有更重要的学习任务



Secondly, it is axiomatic that not all students have enough funding to support his study in a foreign country. According to a survey conducted in the Ministry of Education, about 33 percent of students who are in the college are in debt, 20 percent of students might have to take many part-time jobs to fulfill his or her tuitions; and only 47 percent of students who could afford to study in a foreign country. Therefore, unless the universities or colleges could fund those program, many students would not have the financial abilities to study a semester in a foreign country.

axiomatic 选词
这段写得挺好 虽然那个survey看得有点假


Last but not least, with the advancements of the Science and Technology, students could learn foreign cultures and languages and so on over the Internet, 断句and thus students need not necessarily to take pains to go abroad to study there. For instance, nowadays, students could talk and chat with a foreigner by MSN, Skype, Facebook as well as Twitter and so on. In addition, students now could even listen many foreign lectures over the Internet by teachers there. Therefore, students need not to go abroad to learn such cultures and languages there since those students could achieve those resources over the latest Technology.


listen many foreign lectures 选词
这个点挺好的  或许细节方面可以更强调学习方面 不是跟一般的外国人通过社交网络交流 而是参与一些公开课的学习 和外国学生交流  （例子不太合适）



In conclusion, the universities and colleges should reconsider their decisions before making a thorough investigations about the backgrounds of their students and the practicability/feasibility of this program.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-7-27 17:35
100) Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying ...

计时32分钟（在提前构思好的情况下 ）
遇到的困难时有时想到什么词，但是不知道怎么表达，或者知道怎么表达，也认识这个单词，就是不知道怎么拼写；还是就是写完作文的第二段之后，发现时间竟然只剩下12分钟！汗，不知道前面两段怎么写了那么久（自己也觉得时间过得很快）；
心得体会是，对于一些常用的单词最好拼写不好出错，还有就是对文章的框架有一定的结构认识和把握；再者就是打字不快的要经常写，练习打字的速度（GRE作文时间是按照美国人的打字速度设计的吧）

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

The following recommendation appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

Two years ago, the nearby town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel.

During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent.

Therefore, the best way to improve Hopewell's economy - and generate additional tax revenues - is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View.

claim：the town of Hopewell should build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View.

Data 1:Two years ago, the nearby town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel; during the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased;

Data 2: and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent;

Data 3:  the best way to improve Hopewell's economy - and generate additional tax revenues - is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View;

assumption 1: the tourism of Ocean View has increased because of the golf course and resort hotel there; and the tourism of Hopetown would also increase because of the same reason;

assumption 2: the Ocean View's tax revenues has increased because of the toursim;

assumption 3: there are no other ways to improve Hopewell's economy except for building a golf course and resort hotel there;

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

100) The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, a jazz music club in Monroe would be tremendously profitable.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

In the argument, the developers in the city of Monroe want to apply for a small-business loan to build a music club in Monroe. However, the logic of their assumptions is ill considered. For example, the club would appeal to the people who attend Monroe's annual jazz festival and listen to the highest-rated radio program; the jazz musician would go to the club and the jazz fans would prefer to spare their money to the club and they would not like to go to the nearest jazz club.

引出假设的句型有问题  


In the first place, the developers assume that the new club would attract the people who attend the Monroe's annual jazz festival and listen to the highest-rated radio program of 'Jazz Nightly. However, this assumption might not necessarily true. Firstly, the people who attend the jazz festival might come from the whole country, and only a small proportion are consisted by the residents of Monroe. What's more, even though people who attend the festival and listen to the jazz radio, these people would not necessarily to join a jazz club to express their love for jazz.



Secondly, the developers assume that the well-known jazz musicians would go the new club to popularize it. Nonetheless, this assumption might not (be) warranted either. Since the famous jazz musicians might be very busy to perform all over the world, and thus s/he would not have any time to attend a jazz club in the place where s/he lives in. What's more, even though the musicians have time in the town of Monroe, s/he would rather to cook for his or her family or they would like to travel with their friends rather than join a jazz club there.

own home应该是作为jazz popular的证据  引出本段的讨论应该围绕音乐家own home和jazz是否受欢迎来讨论 主题句不合适

Finally, the developers assume that the typical jazz fans would rather to spend many money on the club and would not like to take pains to go to the nearest jazz club. Notwithstanding, this assumption also needs scrutinize. Firstly, the typical jazz fans might fond of driving for an hour the nearest town to join a club there since these fans' friends are residents of the nearest town. What's more, even though these jazz fans would like to spend much on jazz, those fans would not like to spend any money on the new club. Rather, they might would like to buy some jazz musical instruments and CDs instead.


nationwide这个关键词没有回应
needs scrutinize动词用法
might fond of 句子结构


感觉比之前有进步

In conclusion, the application for the small-business loan to build a music club in Monroe should be reconsidered without clarifying these assumptions above.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-7-21 22:28
54) Humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago, and within 3,000 years most of the l ...

Argument 54 全文修改：

According to the argument, the climate change or other environmental factor are the main causes that contribute to the extinctions of some large mammal specious. Here are several assumptions that the passage depend on: because there is no evidence that the humans had any significant contact with the mammals, humans could not have a contact with those mammals; humans who hunted those mammals would discard the bones of mammals to some sites; and the climate change or other environmental factor was not relevant to humans then.

In the first place, the arguer in the argument assumes that humans could not have a contact with those mammals owing to the lack of the evidence. However, the assumption was ill considered. Since the evidence of the contact between humans and mammals probably has existed for many years, and today’s scientists have not found them yet. What’s more, even if there is no evidence that could prove the contact between humans and those mammals, we might not come to the conclusion that humans had no contact with those large mammals. This is because that the evidence might be vanished during the long history, it might be destroyed by some activities of volcano or floods or it might lost in some major earthquakes.

In the second place, the arguer assumes that humans who hunted those mammals would discard their bones to some sites. Nonetheless, the assumption is not necessarily true either. Since the bones of those mammals might had some usages in the daily lives of the humans then, the bones might not discard at all. For instance, unlike the bones of the fish, the humans then could use the bones of those mammals to hunt other animals; or the bones of those mammals might had some religious meaning and the humans then might hide them somewhere we haven’t found yet. Or the bones of those mammals were burned by the humans then owing to some unknown reasons.

Finally, the arguer assumes that humans then had no intervention on the climate change or other environmental factor. Notwithstanding, this assumption could not withstand with many further surveys. For example, humans then might deforested the trees where those mammals making a living, therefore, those mammals died out because of lacking place to hide from predators. Or the humans then polluted the rivers there, and those mammals got ill and died from many diseases. There is also a possibility that humans then destroyed the system of ecology there, and the subsequent abnormal atmosphere like storms and floods that devour the population of those mammals.

To sum up, the arguer did not provide enough strong assumptions to bride the conclusion and the premise of the argument. Therefore, in order to convince others, the arguer should scrutinize his or her assumptions before coming to his or her conclusion.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-7-27 17:35
100) Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying ...

ISSUE 100 全文修改如下：

In order to comprehensively improve students' abilities, colleges and universities might require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country. However, as far as I am concerned, this suggestion/policy is ill considered for the following reasons: firstly, not all students are suitable for studying in a foreign country; secondly, not all students could afford the expenses of studying in a foreign country; finally, with the developments of the Science and Technology, students do not have to study a semester in a foreign country.

First of all, as mentions above, it is self-evident that not all students are suitable for studying in an exotic country for such a long time, because the burdens of their studies are too heavy. Take a friend of mine who is majoring in the Clinical Medicine for example. In the first three years of his five-year schooling, he has to study the basic knowledge about his major, like College English, Physical Health, Molecular Biology, Biochemistry, Bio-statistics, Anatomy, Pharmaceutical and so forth, those subjects are so overwhelmed, and thus he has nearly ten classes every day. What's more, in his last two years of his schooling, he has to take an internship in a hospital to make his knowledge into practice, since that the paramount thing of his duty is to become a doctor. Therefore, students like him would reluctant to go abroad to study a semester.

Secondly, it is obvious that not all students have enough funding to support his study in a foreign country. According to a survey conducted in the Ministry of Education, about 33 percent of students who are in the college are in debt, 20 percent of students might have to take many part-time jobs to fulfill his or her tuitions; and only 47 percent of students who could afford to study in a foreign country. Therefore, unless the universities or colleges could fund those program, many students would not have the financial abilities to study a semester in a foreign country.

Last but not least, with the advancements of the Science and Technology, students could learn foreign cultures and languages and so on over the Internet. And thus students need not necessarily to take pains to go abroad to study there. For instance, nowadays, students could talk and chat with a foreigner by MSN, Skype, Facebook as well as Twitter and so on. In addition, students now could even study many foreign lectures over the Internet by teachers there, during which process, students could have a talk with foreign teachers and achieve the homework assigned by those teachers. Therefore, students need not to go abroad to learn such cultures and languages there since those students could achieve those resources over the latest Technology.

In conclusion, the universities and colleges should reconsider their decisions before making a thorough investigations about the backgrounds of their students and the practicability/feasibility of this program.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

105) Claim: Imagination is a more valuable asset than experience.
Reason: People who lack experience are free to imagine what is possible without the constraints of established habits and attitudes.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

Over the history, many significant inventions were made by a strange imagination or simply an accident. In this sense, I agree with the statement that imagination is more valuable asset than experience. However, even though those inventions were made by an impulsive of imagination, the efforts underling those great devices were also painstaking. In other words, the success of an imagination is based on hard-working and persistence. In this sense, I do not agree with the explanation that people who lack experience are able to fulfill a dream without the constrains of established habits and attitudes. Let's us review several examples in the history as an illustration.

The first example was the decoding the structure of DNA, a nucleoside of bases, which constitute the genome of a human. This incidence took place in the 1950s in the field of biology. At that time, like many other biology scientists, Watson and Click were also confused by the structure of DNA. However, when these two young people saw the refraction photograph of DNA by the technique of X-Ray by Franklin, they put forward their imagination of the structure audaciously. Instead of smugness, they took great efforts to testify their imagination was true and they succeeded by winning the Nobel Prize in the last. What's more, before that, they had cooperated for many years to decipher the structure of the DNA. Therefore, the imagination is indeed paramount in the excavation of some breakthrough findings, however, the experience is the basis of that findings.

The second instance lies in the field of Airplanes. Today, we are enjoying the convenience traveling by air planes, actually, planes has become the essential part of our modern lives. We all know that before the invention of planes, humans had dreamed for flying in the blue sky as free as possible. However, many people failed to invent a device that it could fly continuously owing to the fact that they had too much imaginaries without much field-out experiments and persistent efforts except for the brothers of Wright. Also inspired by the imagination of flying in the heaven, they put their efforts to study the aero-dynamic and revise their model incessantly and they never gave up, which surprised no one when they succeed in the last. Therefore, although imagination is an impetuous of success, the hard-working and perseverance could guarantee the final triumph of an undertaking.

The third story comes from the invention of the bombs. Our productivities and efficiencies has greatly enhanced by the invention of the artificial light that make out night as bright as daytime. Humans had longed for brightness of night and many trials failed because of a lack of experience or efforts. Even though humans were inspired to invent a device to shine the night, no one succeeded except for Thomas Edison. After thousands of times experience or failure, he succeeded in finding the most suitable material for a bulb to bright continuously. Thus, without imagination, we could not have the inspiration to invent a device to shinning the night. However, without experience or persistence, we could not succeed in the last.

To sum up, imagination is more valuable than experience in some extent, while it is the experience that could have the ability to fulfill this inspiration. In short, an imagination without experience is furtive, even though an imagination is sometimes a precursor of an accomplishment.

毉易-牧羊人UID: 3458186

毉易-牧羊人 发表于 2015-7-28 18:12
100) The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of d ...

argument 100 全文修改如下：

In the argument, the developers in the city of Monroe want to apply for a small-business loan to build a music club in Monroe. However, the reasoning in the argument is logically flawed, because it relies on numerous assumptions that appear to be wholly unsupported. For example, the club would appeal to the people who attend Monroe's annual jazz festival and listen to the highest-rated radio program; the jazz musician would go to the club and the jazz fans would prefer to spare their money to the club and they would not like to go to the nearest jazz club.

In the first place, the developers assume that the new club would attract the people who attend the Monroe's annual jazz festival and listen to the highest-rated radio program of 'Jazz Nightly. However, this assumption might not necessarily true. Firstly, the people who attend the jazz festival might come from the whole country, and only a small proportion are consisted by the residents of Monroe. What's more, even though people who attend the festival and listen to the jazz radio, these people would not necessarily to join a jazz club to express their love for jazz.

Secondly, the developers assume that the home owing of some famous jazz musicians is the popular signal of jazz in the town of Monroe and those musicians were attracted by the jazz music there. Nonetheless, this assumption might not (be) warranted either. Since it might be the attractive scenery and convenient transportation of the town of Monroe that lure those musician to settle down there. What’s more, there is also a possibility that those musicians’ parents or relatives live there, and thus those musicians own home there just because they want to accompany their parents or relatives. Therefore, unless more evidence provided, we could not simply construe the phenomena of the settlements of some musicians as the evidence of the popularity of the jazz there.

Finally, the developers assume that the typical jazz fans would rather to spend many money on the club and would rather like to take pains to go to the nearest jazz club, in addition, the developers assume that the national study could represent the conditions of the residents of the town of Monroe. Notwithstanding, these assumption also needs more considerations. Firstly, the typical jazz fans might fond of driving for an hour the nearest town to join a club there since these fans' friends are residents of the nearest town. What's more, the national study could not represent the realistic conditions of the residents of Monroe, since the expenditure of the residents of Monroe might be elevated by some other towns which prefer spend particularly high incomes to indulge in the activities of jazz. In addition, even though these jazz fans would like to spend much on jazz, those fans would not like to spend any money on the new club. Rather, they might would like to buy some jazz musical instruments and CDs instead.

In conclusion, the application for the small-business loan to build a music club in Monroe should be reconsidered without clarifying these assumptions above.