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12月22日,1T作文第三期同主题写作。12.24凌晨更新,请大家看一下 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-12-24 22:10:52 |只看该作者
写了第三篇了,从第一篇的2h到1h多再到现在的45min。 开始渐渐的有些感觉了!希望大家能帮我看看,谢谢!

45min, 380w

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

“Go, go, go. Fire in the hole. Roger that. Cover me.” Every time when I hear of these terms, I can feel hot-blooded. Look!That is what games have done to you. As far as I am concerned, I am in total agreement with the statement that games are as important for adults as they are for children, to some extent, they are more important for adults.

In the first place, games can make adults feel at home. It is acknowledged that in the society with more and more stress and burden on adults, they are in need of a way of relaxing. So that is the role can games play. Everyday, you go home after work dragging your tired-out body. What do you need first? Obviously, the answer is relaxing. You can pick up some of your favorite games like bridge or chess playing with your family members or your friends. In such a comfortable atmosphere, all of your tiredness will be swept out. Then you will be full of energy for the next day work.

What is also worth noticing is that games can enable adults to set up team spirits, which is one of the most significant factors in work. Here, a world famous cyber game, Counter Strike, is a good example for it. In this game, you and your teammates need to cooperate with each other to achieve an aim. Sometimes you are required to help your teammates escape, sometimes you need to protect your teammates, and sometimes you have to sacrifice yourself for your team’s victory.

What is more, games can make your dreams come true. Someone might have dreamed of being a millionaire or a pilot in his childhood, in the real world, however, these dreams can not be accomplished. But games can give you a hand. In a game called “tycoon”, you will be an entrepreneur who has a lot of factories and billions of dollars. And in another game called “Navigation”, by your PC, you can steer a variety of planes in different places seeing different scenes.

In summary, taking into account of all these factors, we can safely reach the conclusion that games are of the equal importance to adults as they are to children, to a further extent, more important than children.

[ Last edited by WeOn on 2005-12-24 at 23:18 ]

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发表于 2005-12-24 23:39:06 |只看该作者
#61楼
觉得刚开始的那句不大妥,玩CS知道,有的也需没有明白你的意思。

#35欢迎拍砖。

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发表于 2005-12-25 00:28:01 |只看该作者
Originally posted by avmilan at 2005-12-23 16:21
270word 35min
both children and adults could drive fun from playing varities of games.They can learn and practice some skills for which might be necessary them such as language
skill,mortor skil ...


我觉得你论证的2段的开头的topic sentence都只说了children,和你的thesis有点出入。

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发表于 2005-12-25 11:22:36 |只看该作者
顶一下。。
版主快过来看看哦。。

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发表于 2005-12-25 12:44:58 |只看该作者

评 #54 楼 SnowShine 作文

严格来说这个作文写的有点跑题。你只在P1和B1两段里提到了adults,而后面都是说people,说游戏对人们的影响而不是对成人或是孩子。另外,你说的游戏的坏处,这个不是不能写的,但其实和题目无关,题里并没有提到任何相关的问题,你说的这个其实可以稍微改一下,成为一个很好的正面观点。游戏可能在教育孩子的同时还对他们有很大的负面作用,所以受到了很多家长和老师的抵制。但是成人的自制力更强,不是那么容易abandon于其中,所以游戏对成人的负面影响更小,它的重要性就更大。这样说是不是更好?
另外,你B1里 heat competition 是什么意思啊?

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发表于 2005-12-25 12:45:24 |只看该作者

评 #56 楼 yuchen (flypig)作文

there is no denying the fact that games are less automatically associated with children. 这话是什么意思啊?好像和观点相反似的。不过你把游戏分类的想法很新颖也很好啊!!不过吹毛求疵一点,你在B1里对这两方面的游戏分类讨论,但是他们的功能好象没什么太大的差别哦~~~
B2的观点也很有特点,很有针对性。时间也掌握的很好,如果在考场上写出这样的作文,应该会有好的分数!呵呵

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发表于 2005-12-25 12:46:10 |只看该作者

评 #61 楼 WeOn 作文

开头、观点都很新颖啊 呵呵 (不过考官能不能看的懂,喜不喜欢你的开头我就不知道了咩~~~)总的讲,写的不错了,建议再加强一点与孩子的对比。比如B3,孩子的未来是不确定的,他们有机会为任何他们想要的未来努力。而对于绝大部分成人来讲,人生已经确定下来,但是他们同样有自己的梦想,也许无法也没有机会在现实中实现,但是电脑游戏可以实现他们的梦想。

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发表于 2005-12-25 12:47:12 |只看该作者

回 hotken #60楼

Originally posted by hotken at 2005-12-24 20:52

你的意思是说只需要说游戏对成年人的重要性就可以了?
我的理解有所偏差哦,不是说as important as.....吗,我一直以为as...as就是平等性的,没有侧重之分。

不是说只说成人(当然只说的话应该也没有太大的问题,只是不够好),而是说重点应该说成人,这是毫无疑问的。B1是最重要也最该重点写的部分,当然该写最核心的东西啦~~~ 是平等的,但是放到这个题目里不可能没有侧重之分,不是吗?

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发表于 2005-12-25 12:47:43 |只看该作者

回 stoneSQ #55楼

Originally posted by stoneSQ at 2005-12-24 08:00
做这篇文章的初衷确实是想些games对adults更重要,可是写出的结果却是不怎么扣题,体现不出怎么就more important了,修改后的观点就是games对于adults和childre有不同的meanings,不应该简单比较哪个更重要,对这 ...

呵呵 其实怎么说不都是随你嘛,只要听着有道理就行了 比如,游戏让人放松,成人的压力当然比孩子大,就更要放松;游戏让人学会合作,成人在工作中更需要与人合作,当然就更需要学习~~~~~ 写作文嘛,当然向着自己说啦,正着说反着说,自己高兴怎么就怎么说 哈哈咩咩嗷~~~~

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发表于 2005-12-25 12:59:05 |只看该作者
Originally posted by 逆风飞羊 at 2005-12-25 12:47

不是说只说成人(当然只说的话应该也没有太大的问题,只是不够好),而是说重点应该说成人,这是毫无疑问的。B1是最重要也最该重点写的部分,当然该写最核心的东西啦~~~ 是平等的,但是放到这个题目里不可能没有 ...

嗯。
等我改改你再帮我look一look吧。。。
呵呵。。。

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发表于 2005-12-25 14:01:50 |只看该作者

楼主,我在47楼请帮我看看撒

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发表于 2005-12-25 17:36:11 |只看该作者
It is for a long time that people have been misunderstanding that playing games is just significant to children but not to adults. In the light of this statement, adults cannot gain benefit much from games. However, the fact is just the opposite. Playing games are as important for adults as they are for children, the reasons of which go as follows.

On one hand, as for adults, playing games is rather beneficial, not only because it would help them relax but because it enables them to learn the spirit of teamwork. Nowadays the pace of life is becoming more and more rapid, it is in an urgent need that adults develop diverse games relaxing themselves. Just as playing Majong, which is very popular with the growing number of people in China, can provide an excellent emotional outlet for people from work pressure. It is common that people participate in the games after they finish all the work in the evening, which they consider as an excellent recreation.

In addition to relaxing, learning how to collaborate with other fellows is also significant for adults. Perhaps playing basketball is superexcellent way for adults to understand that principle. Only when all players cooperate well can the team approach the victory. Similarly, one of the prerequisites of succeeding in one’s career is cooperation, rather than working alone. Such a good quality has been attached more and more importance to by many adults.

On the other hand, playing games is also important for children. Obviously, it can contribute to developing their abilities of solving problems independently. For instance, when playing toy bricks in the beginning, children might fail to accomplish the task at a time. As they keep on trying independently, it is likely that they would succeed finally. Virtually in this process, they have gradually fostered the ability of handling the difficulties by themselves.

Form the statements discussed above, it can be clearly seen that games are as important for adults as they are for children, based on the truth that both of them can learn much from the games. All in all, I am totally in favor of the opinion that not only children but adults need to play games.

版主过来瞧瞧吧。。。嘿嘿
这是我修改过的文章
我嫌有些长,不知你能否帮我改短些。。嘻嘻

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发表于 2005-12-25 20:52:54 |只看该作者

我的,38楼,斑竹帮忙看看吧

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发表于 2005-12-25 22:45:28 |只看该作者

修改稿,改成对adults更重要了

Games, as a kind of creations, play an important role in people's lives. Games has been developing from the simplest style in the ancient to now more and more complicate mode such as net games played by thousands of millions of people at the same time. Why are games so popular among people no matter how old they are? The reason is simple. It is just because of the importance of games both for adults and children that games could gain their popularities. And even to some extent, the importance of games for adults outweighs that for children.  
   Admittedly, in the lives of children, games take a significant role. First, small games in children's common lives help children to learn how to communicate with each other. The party spirit will naturally imply children that they should positively give a hand to their partners to win the game. Second, games also play an important part in the physical growth of children. There must be varieties of sport programs in the games, such as running, jumping and so on, which make body exercise needed for children more interesting. Third, in recent years, the showing up of the computer games make children get to know the computer not too early but on time, so that they could touch new technology, which would to some extent benefits their future growth and studies.
    At the same time, games are also necessary for adults. They not only strengthen communications among adults but also help to keep good health as they do for children. Furthermore, at a deeper side, games could alleviate adults' work pressure, keep them in a good mood and accordingly improve work efficiency. Once a time, I happened to see the father of my classmate playing games in the game salon when I passed by it. When I asked him about it after then, he answered ”this makes me relax and forget something bothersome, so I can concentrate my work later”.
    Besides, there is another positive effect for adults, I must point, is that games played by adults together with children help adults communicate with their children more easily. So, in this sense, games could also make a family more compatible.
    In conclusion, not do games play as important roles for adults as they do for children but  they are more important for adults rather than for children.

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发表于 2005-12-25 23:57:03 |只看该作者
顶一下。。

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RE: 12月22日,1T作文第三期同主题写作。12.24凌晨更新,请大家看一下 [修改]

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12月22日,1T作文第三期同主题写作。12.24凌晨更新,请大家看一下
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-382642-1-1.html
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