第二三四五六七期同主题写作欢迎拍砖,有拍必回!

susan8940UID: 160449

People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Undoubtedly, music plays a significant role in people’s lives. It is music that prevent people from suffering over stress, activate the asmosphere of certain events, bring listeners optimistic and health, and the list will go on. I will argue about the three main aspects as follows.

First and foremost, music provides the most effective way to release people from high stress. In modern world, people suffer much more load than before, higher and higher stress is grown from work, family, society, and so on. Among numerous ways created to solve this problem, listening to music is the best one, which help people get rid of harmful stress and work more efficiently. Whenever there is going to be a competition, for example, athlets will always spend some time listening to soft music. Not merely does music help them release from getting too nervous, and it inspires them to show better performance. It is hard to suppose how dispirited people will be without music.

Music also performes as an activator to improve asmosphere in people’s lives. When people are having a party, music is a requisite. Young people prefer hip-hop, with which they can enjoy hot dance; whereas old men may choose some soft music to make the atmosphere more quiet and comfortable when they are talking or recall beautiful old days.

Finally, optimistic and health are two pretty precious gift music brings people. There are a number of supiror songs, such as Hero, which encourage people never losing heart and longing for bright future. When listening to such inspiring music, people’s confidence is growing, mood is getting better, quality of optimistic is cultivated. Additionally, it is recorded that most healthy people enjoy listening to music. Music provides them not only courage and joy, but also longer living.

As an important and endless resource, music benefits our humans a lot. With music around us, our life will be colorful and never fade.

DidoyUID: 2181213

以下是我的拙见
activate这个词，我查了字典，好像只能用于化学反应里的。。。或者你再查一下
最后那个resource是什么词呢？。。。觉得意思放在这里不太对呀。。。
楼主是不是比较喜欢用非限定性定语从句？我没有看过你之前的文章，不过就这篇来说，你好想用了很多……,which……这样的句式，好像在避免使用because这类东西。。。我觉得虽然是俗了一点，偶尔用一下，强调逻辑关系也应该没有问题的吧。。。或者，since,as,on account of等可以用作替换嘛。。。你觉得呢？
这是我的，请指教
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

susan8940UID: 160449

activate-->improve,还有什么词呢？promote?
resource想表达资源的意思。source?要不改成treasure得了。
我也觉得用which有点过火了。谢谢指出。

另外要强调下，非常感谢可怡同志！！在此关键时刻重燃我写作的热情！
晚上改你的啊：）

归来的虎子UID: 181060

optimistic -> optimism  名词

pretty precious ？重复？

hero - > heroic song

encourage people never losing?可以这样么？

lz三个理由段有点分配不均~~是不是第一段有点收不住了呢？

夜一UID: 2130338

Undoubtedly, music plays a significant role in people’s lives. It is music that prevent people from suffering over stress, activate the asmosphere of certain events, bring listeners optimistic and health, and the list will go on. I will argue about the three main aspects as follows.吹毛求疵一下，这句话有点过分露骨了：）

First and foremost, music provides the most effective way to release people from high stress. In modern world, people suffer much more load than before, higher and higher stress is grown from work, family, society, and so on. Among numerous ways created to solve this problem, listening to music is the best one, which help people get rid of harmful stress and work more efficiently. Whenever there is going to be a competition, for example, athlets will always spend some time listening to soft music. Not merely does music help them release from getting too nervous, and it inspires them to show better performance. It is hard to suppose how dispirited people will be without music. 因为词句没有什么好挑剔的，所以就转向内容方面吧。这一段挺重要的，可是楼主就举了一个运动员的例子，实在有欠丰满，多举些不同的人不同的竞争内容就好了，至于现代社会多么紧张可以适当缩减一些，毕竟音乐是正题

Music also performes as an activator to improve asmosphere in people’s lives. When people are having a party, music is a requisite. Young people prefer hip-hop, with which they can enjoy hot dance; whereas old men may choose some soft music to make the atmosphere more quiet and comfortable when they are talking or recall beautiful old days.

Finally, optimistic and health are two pretty precious gift music brings people. There are a number of supiror songs, such as Hero, which encourage people never losing heart and longing for bright future. When listening to such inspiring music, people’s confidence is growing, mood is getting better, quality of optimistic is cultivated. Additionally, it is recorded that most healthy people enjoy listening to music. Music provides them not only courage and joy, but also longer living.大概也是跟第二段同样的意见吧，不过可能因为我和楼主偏好的风格不一样，还是要交给楼主自己判断了：）

As an important and endless resource, music benefits our humans a lot. With music around us, our life will be colorful and never fade.

夜一UID: 2130338

我要哭，电脑就是跟我过不去，拍了文死活发不出去
好容易终于发出来一篇了
头好痛，虎子的只好明天再拍了。。。对不起阿。。。

vigilwangUID: 203758

supiror——superior，recall——recalling
When listening to such inspiring music, people’s confidence is growing, mood is getting better,（and） quality of optimistic is cultivated.并列结构嘛
Not merely does ·······, and it (also)··············.加个also感觉前后好一点

还有好多想sussan学习
我的，楼主看看吧：）感觉几天不写都手生了······
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

susan8940UID: 160449

People remember special gifts or presents that they have received. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

During their lifetime, people may receive a variaty of special gifts or presents, which are really unforgetable. Among countless reasons to this phenomenon, there are three main aspects that I would like to give as follows.

First and foremost, these special gifts are commonly received from some special people, such as parents, grateful teachers, close friends, the first lover, and the list will go on. These persons all play such significant roles in our lives that we can hardly forget them. When we recall those beautiful days with these persons, of course we will naturally remember the first or most special presents they sent us. For example, we always remember the first gift our boyfriend/girlfriend gave us, because it represent the true love in his/her heart. We will never forget the hand-made presents from our close friends, because it is the symbol of our endless friendship.

Additionally, special gifts usually remind us of special time in our lives. For instance, the first time we won a championship, we received a lot of gifts from our parents and friends. Not merely did those gifts express their faithful congratulations, and also they demonstrated our talent as well as hardworking days. It is those gifts that record those special events and time, which made our lives more colorful and unforgetble. So we usually will carefully keep those presents, which will take us back to the special time when we memorize those previous days.

Finally, some presents are so useful that we utilize them in everyday life. For example, when I was ten years old, my uncle bought me a pretty watch, which I kept wearing for over ten years. Every day I watch into it at times to get the time, in this way, how can I forget about it? Similarly, precious gifts such as computers, CD players, cameras are all in this category.

Special gifts or presents truly mean a lot for us. They remind us of special people and time in our lives, and some of them are commedies that can be used in our everyday life. That is why we can always remember those special presents.

[ 本帖最后由 susan8940 于 2006-5-6 18:31 编辑 ]

polymathUID: 179557

占位，copy下来慢慢看！

polymathUID: 179557

During their lifetime, people may receive a variaty of special gifts or presents, which are really ultimately 我觉得更惬意！unforgetable. Among countless reasons to this phenomenon, there are three main aspects that I would like to give as follows.

First and foremost, these special gifts are commonly received from some special people, such as parents, grateful teachers, close friends, the first lover, and the list will go on. These persons all play such significant roles in our lives that we can hardly forget them. When we recall those beautiful days with these persons, of course we will naturally remember the first or most special presents they sent us. 这句话能不能再作一下改写呢！:pFor example, we always remember the first gift our boyfriend/girlfriend gave us, because it represent the true love in his/her heart. We will never forget the hand-made presents from our close friends, because it is the symbol of our endless friendship. 论点清晰，语言流畅！:p

Additionally, special gifts usually remind us of special time in our lives. For instance, the first time we won a championship, we received a lot of gifts from our parents and friends. Not merely did those gifts express their faithful congratulations, and also they they also个人认为这样比较好！  demonstrated our talents as well as 加上这个词those hardworking days. It is those gifts that record those special events and time, which made our lives more colorful and unforgetble. 帮你改一下，Without such special presents or gifts ,our lives can not be so colorful and unforgetble.So we usually will去掉 carefully keep take care of those presents, which will take us back to  the special time when we memorize those previous days.aid us reviewing the  previous days.

Finally, some presents are so useful that we utilize them in everyday life. For example, when I was ten years old, my uncle bought me a pretty watch, which I kept wearing for over ten years. Every day I watch into it at times to get the time, in this way, how can I forget about it? Similarly, precious gifts such as computers, CD players, cameras are all in this category.

Special gifts or presents truly mean a lot for us. They remind us of special people and time in our lives, and some of them are commedies that can be used in our everyday life. That is why we 用people代替吧！ 全文we使用的太多了！can always remember those special presents.

写的不错，条理和例子都很清晰，有些句子换些表达方式就更好了！:)

[ 本帖最后由 polymath 于 2006-5-6 19:54 编辑 ]

expire7UID: 2160574

的确不错啊。挺启发人的。

我觉得礼物的作用应该说ignite。至于为何ignite就是每个分段的TS了。它承载记忆，时间和联系某些人。小结和结尾还是的确该用，礼物和这些东西的联系退出来它的ignite吧。

susan8940UID: 160449

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Money a person earns is surely an important aspect of his/her job.However, I can hardly believe that it is the most significant one. There are several factors playing more important roles in a person’s profession than money, namely, opportunities to gain knowledge, enjoyable environment, and the quality of coworkers.

First and foremost, I believe opportunities to improve working ability are one of the most important elements that should be considered when applying for a job. People may not be able to stay in the same company or institution all their lives. Technology of certain fields is improving so rapidly that if one doesn’t go pace with it, he/she can hardly do their work well. As a result, he/she can be fired one day. If so, former high paycheck will not be available any more. For that matter, people have to evaluate opportunities the employer offers to absorb the latest knowledge and skills to imporve their quality of work. In this way, not only can they keep steady salary, but also they may be able to be hired by a larger company, for example, with a more decent pay.

Additionally, whether the environment of the office is enjoyable is more significant than the money one earns. People spend over 1/3 time of their lives in the office, so whether the environment of the place is good or not directly decide whether we can live a comfortable life or not. For example, if employees prefer to smoking in the office, we will never enjoy fresh air. Instead, we may suffer from bad diseases such as lung problems, which will cost numerous money to cure it. For that matter, our high pay may be not enough to pay for the medical cure.

Finally, the quality of coworkers may influence our efficiency at work. Just suppose one of our coworkers is not at all friendly to us, even do harmful things to prevent us from doing well in the job. For instance, he/she may say something terrible about us behind our back, then other people may begin to misunderstand us and not so friendly as before. Working in such atmosphere, we can hardly have effective performance. Worse still, we may be far from happiness and comfort.

Considering all that I argue above, it is clear that money is not the most important aspect of a job.

[ 本帖最后由 susan8940 于 2006-5-8 11:26 编辑 ]

yanhuangbabyUID: 178305

原帖由 susan8940 于 2006-5-8 11:17 发表
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Money a person ea ...

看了一下，语法什么的我就不说，免得RPWT
我觉得mm举的例子不够说服力
第一点。学习知识的机会这点不错，但是你后面就表达成了要不断地更新自己的知识。。。。，而失去了“什么在工作中是最重要的了”
第2和3段成了“好的工作要包含哪些方面”有跑题嫌疑

如果是我，我会这么写

反对立场：

   1。在工作中学到了不同的知识，积累和经验，尽管钱不多，但是可以为未来的发展打基础。。。

   2。重要的是工作给人带来的成就感和奉献感。工作证明了自己的能力。科学家也许赚钱不多，可是成就感和却是让他们对自己的工作甘之如饴的重要因素。

   3。工作中认识的人脉也非常重要。从同事，老板，客户身上学到的东西，也许对将来的一生都有帮助


你看看这样是不是更有说服力一点？

归来的虎子UID: 181060

coworkers.->co-workers?

decide-〉determine

employees->our colleages

Finally, the quality of coworkers may influence our efficiency at work. -〉唉？是不是跑题了？


实话说，我也觉得susan第一理由段有点跑了~
第二理由段理由本来很不错，可是举的例子好像不太有说服力，应该说工作环境对心情的影响更好些？挣钱很多但是不开心就没意思了等等。

结尾段我和lz一样，经常没时间写了，或者写了也就没时间检查了

susan8940UID: 160449

最后up下,感谢一个月来看我作文和给出中肯意见的所有朋友!谢谢大家!
祝5TERS都能取得理想的成绩:)