第二三四五六七期同主题写作欢迎拍砖,有拍必回!

woodygtUID: 2136751

For most people, it seems obvious that university students should be required to attend class classes since they lack enough willpower. However, in many cases, students will benefit more from attending classes optionally.

Firstly, attending class optionally can help students find out what they are interested or gifted in. There are numerous students entering colleges without这个without放这里感觉不妥，不过我一时也没想到什么好的词 choosing their favorite majors. It may turn out to be the most miserable thing to sit in class这里是不是也该加个复数啊, learning the subject they are not a bit interested in我觉得这个表达挺奇怪的. As a consequence, they can’t cannot do effective study actually study effectively. For that matter, attending class can only be considered a waste of time. So why not give them a chance to use such time searching for something they’re truly gifted in or prefer to 这个to放在这完全没有理由的. Bill Gates would never become the top rich without devoting his class time to computer research.

For another thing, not every class in university is necessary for every student to attend. For example, a friend of mine is a perfect self-learner, thus he finished learning the subject far ahead the class schedule. Attending a class to learn something he has already known seems to make no sense at all.

Also, class time-table may not fit all students. Many students work more efficiently at night, so it may not be possible for those who are used to sleeping late to wake up early to join the first class. Or at least concentrate on listening to the teacher.这个句子不能算单独的一句话吧 That’s not to say every late-sleeping student has the right to skip class, it’ll just be better to afford students opportunities to set their own best schedules, that is, by attending class optionally.

整体结构没有太大问题，就是我好像没看到结尾。感觉就是有些句子用的很怪，如果楼主确定这样没问题那就可以放心用了。

我的
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=451931

allisonUID: 192807

For most people, it seems obvious that university students should be required to attend class since they lack enough willpower. However, in many cases, students will benefit more from attending classes optionally.

Firstly, attending class optionally can help students find out what they are interested or gifted in. There are numerous students entering colleges without choosing their favorite majors. It may turn out to be the most miserable thing to sit in class, learning the subject they are not a bit interested in. As a consequence, they can’t do effective study actually. For that matter, attending class can be considered a waste of time. So why not give them a chance to use such time searching for something they’re truly gifted in or prefer to. Bill Gates would never become the top rich without devoting his class time to computer research.

For another thing,用这个的话，可能让人想到for one thing 在哪里  not every class in university is necessary for every student to attend. For example, a friend of mine is a perfect self-learner, thus he finished learning the subject far ahead the class schedule. Attending a class to learn something he has already known seems make直接用makes 很通畅吧 no sense at all.

Also, class time-table may not fit all students. Many students work more efficiently at night, so it may not be possible for those who are used to sleeping late to wake up early to join the first class. Or at least concentrate on listening to the teacher. That’s not to say every （that is to say not all）late-sleeping student has the right to skip class, 感觉这两句连接的很勉强啊，不通畅it’ll just be better to afford students opportunities to set their own best schedules, that is, by attending class optionally.

怎么没有结论段


谢谢susan 帮我看作文， susan 很积极主动啊，佩服

yz2274464UID: 2174140

word
我的请指正https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

bert2006UID: 2194175

lz写的不错了，很流畅
加个结论句，凑点字数也好

expire7UID: 2160574

For most people, it seems obvious that university students should be required to attend class classes since they lack enough willpower. However, in many cases, students will benefit more from attending classes optionally.

First, attending class optionally can help students find out what they are interested or gifted in. There are numerous students entering colleges without(becasue of some reasons not)choosing their favorite majors. It may turn out to be the most miserable thing to sit in class, learning the subject they are not a bit interested in. (in which they are not interested)As a consequence, they can’t cannot do effective study actually study effectively. For that matter, attending class can only be considered a waste of time. So why not give them a chance to use such time searching for something they’re truly gifted in or prefer. Bill Gates would never become the top rich without devoting his class time to computer research.
1.这段论述和TS不切合。TS改成效率更高，学的更好。似乎切合些。

For another thing, not every class in university is necessary for every student to attend. For example, a friend of mine is a perfect self-learner, thus（thus adv.后面要有逗号） he finished learning the subject far ahead the class schedule. Attending a class to learn something he has already known seems to make no sense at all.

Also, class time-table may not fit all students. Many students work more efficiently at night, so it may not be possible for those who are used to sleeping late to wake up early to join the first class. Or at least concentrate on listening to the teacher.（这里不是个句子）That’s not to say every late-sleeping student has the right to skip class, it’ll just be better to afford students opportunities to set their own best schedules, that is, by attending class optionally.
2.所有body段的连词词太混乱了。重新找一套吧。
3.没有结论。
4.没有时间看太多文章的。这篇写得不是很好。LZ不要松懈作文还要努力。加油！

cyqUID: 2203249

For most people, it seems obvious that university students should be required to attend class since they lack enough willpower. However, in many cases, students will benefit more from attending classes optionally.
Firstly, attending class optionally can help students find out what they are interested or gifted in. There are numerous students entering colleges without choosing their favorite majors. It may turn out to be the most miserable thing to sit in class, learning the subject they are not a bit interested in. As a consequence, they can’t do effective study actually. For that matter, attending class can be considered a waste of time. So why not give them a chance to use such time searching(to search) for something they’re truly gifted in or prefer to. Bill Gates would never become the top rich without devoting his class time to computer research.
For another thing, not every class(not all the classes) in university is(are) necessary for every student to attend. For example, a friend of mine is a perfect self-learner, thus he finished learning the subject far ahead the class schedule. Attending a class to learn something he has already known seems make no sense at all.
Also, class time-table may not fit all students. Many students work more efficiently at night, so it may not be possible for those who are used to sleeping late to wake up early to join the first class. Or at least concentrate on listening to the teacher. That’s not to say every(any) late-sleeping student has the right to skip class, it’ll just be better to afford students opportunities to set their own best schedules, that is, by attending class optionally.
不完全和完全否定的句子every,any,all到底关系是什么我也有点糊涂了，不知道改得对不对
读完Susan的文章感觉很快意。我写的时候感觉是在写公文，自己融不进去。Susan的却很不一样，我仿佛能听到Susan说话，看到她的表情和手势
虽然开头和结尾处理得不太好，但Body论述得很生动，给人思维敏锐的感觉，真好

下面是偶的第一篇，希望大家多多帮助这个菜鸟：
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

[ 本帖最后由 cyq 于 2006-4-27 00:09 编辑 ]

mjtiger23UID: 2164364

今天写了个33/185,是第一次写要命啊...除了In the first place,in additon,in conclusion,啥不会写....LZ好强.教育教育我吧

vigilwangUID: 203758

For most people, it seems obvious that university students should be required to attend class since they lack enough willpower. However, in many cases, students will benefit more from attending classes optionally.

Firstly, attending class optionally can help students find out what they are interested or gifted in. There are numerous students entering colleges without choosing their favorite majors. It may turn out to be the most miserable thing to sit in class, learning the subject (which) they are not a bit interested in. As a consequence, they can’t do effective study actually. For that matter, attending class can be considered a waste of time. So why not give them a chance to use such time searching for something they’re truly gifted in or prefer to. Bill Gates would never become the top rich without devoting his class time to computer research.

For another thing, not every class in university is necessary for every student to attend. For example, a friend of mine is a perfect self-learner, thus he finished learning the subject far ahead the class schedule. Attending a class to learn something he has already known seems make no sense at all.

Also, class time-table may not fit all students. Many students work more efficiently at night, so it may not be possible for those who are used to sleeping late to wake up early to join the first class,or at least concentrate on listening to the teacher.That’s not to say every late-sleeping student has the right to skip class, it’ll just be better to afford students opportunities to set their own best schedules, that is, by attending class optionally.

楼主的论述实在精彩而流畅，学习!
其实作文里每段开头的连词不怎么重要，用那些简单的就行，主题句和段落的逻辑结构才是迷人的地方，向楼主敬礼！
我的，请拍！
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2

susan8940UID: 160449

susan8940UID: 160449

Neighbors are the people who live near us. In your opinion, what are the qualities of a good neighbor? Use specific details and examples in your answer.

The importance of a good neighbor cannot be over stressed. Since they are the persons living around us, their qualities will directly decide whether we can live a comfortable life or not. A good neighbor should harbor three main characteristics: kindness, sense of responsibility, and friendliness.

Firstly, a kind neighbor can always give a hand when we are in trouble. For example, parents of a family may both be trapped by something important from work, and are not able to take good care of their young child. At this time, a kind neighbor will be willing to help them, and look after the baby as well as possible. Additionally, they of course will lend daily items, such as hammer, spice, and so forth, to their neighbors in need. We all may meet some difficulties in daily life, therefore, a kindhearted neighbor who is always glad to help us handle these problems is really a invaluable treasure.

Also, sense of responsibility is another significant quality a good neighbor should show. If he/she see robbers trying to break into a neighbor’s house, he/she will immediately call the police, because they consider it as their responsibility. When he/she is having a party at night, he/she will switch the lighter music, trying not to disturb his/her neighbors. A good neighbor always fulfills responsibilities to make people living around feel safe and comfortable.

Finally, friendliness of a splendid neighbor leads to a closer relationship in neighborhood. When a friendly neighbor is preparing a party, for instance, he/she will warmly invite you to join it. Together, you can enjoy the wally music, delicious food, and pleasant conversation in which you may find several interests in common. Thus, your relationship becomes more pally.

To sum up, kindness, sense of responsibility and friendliness are the very qualities of a good neighbor, with whom we are able to lead amazing lives.

超时10分钟，感觉很一般。
大家帮我改改吧！ :)

[ 本帖最后由 susan8940 于 2006-4-28 17:05 编辑 ]

lanccyUID: 2156906

论证稍显单薄，不过还是很不错了
第一段 lead a comfortable life

楼主帮我看看我的吧
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=447690
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=443333
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D1#pid1768498284

cyqUID: 2203249

The importance of a good neighbor cannot be over stressed. Since they are the persons living around us, their qualities will directly decide whether we can live a comfortable life or not. A good neighbor should harbor词典上说harbor尤指不好的想法或感情 three main characteristics: kindness, sense of responsibility, and friendliness.
Firstly, a kind neighbor can always give a hand when we are in trouble. For example, parents of a family may both be trapped by something important from应该改成on work, and are not able to take good care of their young child. At this time, a kind neighbor will be willing to help them, and look after the baby as well as possible. Additionally, they of course will lend daily items, such as hammer, spice, and so forth, to their neighbors in need. We all may meet some difficulties in daily life, therefore, a kindhearted neighbor who is always glad to help us handle these problems is really an invaluable treasure.
Also, sense of responsibility is another significant quality a good neighbor should show. If he/she see robbers trying to break into a neighbor’s house, he/she will immediately call the police, because they指代不对应 consider it as their responsibility. When he/she is having a party at night, he/she will switch the lighter music, trying not to disturb his/her neighbors. A good neighbor always fulfills responsibilities to make people living around feel safe and comfortable.
Finally, friendliness of a splendid neighbor leads to a closer relationship in neighborhood. When a friendly neighbor is preparing a party, for instance, he/she will warmly invite you to join it. Together, you can enjoy the wally music, delicious food, and pleasant conversation in which you may find several interests in common. Thus, your relationship becomes more pally口语词最好不要出现.
To sum up, kindness, sense of responsibility and friendliness are the very qualities of a good neighbor, with whom we are able to lead amazing lives.
LZ在例子的展开方面很值得我学习!

归来的虎子UID: 181060

For most people, it seems obvious that university students should be required to attend class since they lack enough willpower. However, in many cases, students will 这里是不是应该用被动式？benefit more from attending classes optionally.

Firstly, attending class optionally can help students find out what they are interested or gifted in. There are numerous students entering colleges without choosing their favorite majors. It may turn out to be the most miserable thing to sit in class, learning the subject they are not a bit interested in. As a consequence, they can’t do effective study actually. For that matter, attending class can be considered a waste of time. So why not give them a chance to use such time searching for something they’re truly gifted in or prefer to. Bill Gates would never become the top rich without devoting his class time to computer research.

For another thing, not every class in university is necessary for every student to attend. For example, a friend of mine is a perfect self-learner, thus he finished learning the subject far ahead the class schedule. Attending a class to learn something he has already known seems make no sense at all.

Alsofurthermore, class time-table may not fit all students. Many students work more efficiently at night, so it may not be possible for those who are used to sleeping late to wake up early to join the first class. Or at least concentrate on listening to the teacher. That’s not to say every late-sleeping student has the right to skip class, it’ll just be better to afford offer?students opportunities to set their own best schedules, that is, by attending class optionally.

楼主再看看题目？个人觉得题目讨论的是可不可以选择不上课，第一理由段前提是“所选的不是喜欢的专业”，是否有点牵强？

我的，请楼主看看:lol
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

susan8940UID: 160449

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

There is no doubt that teacher is one of the most significant professions, cause it is teachers who convey knowledge and virtue to younger generation. By realizing their responsibilities, most teachers try their best to teach students as much as possible. So when it comes to whether teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn, my answer is absolutely no. There are two aspects that we should concern on.

Firstly, it is beyond the teacher’s capability to decide whether his/her students can absorb all the knowledge he/she has taught. Different students have diversity in learning the same subject. Some of them can be really gifted in it, as a result, they can easily handle problems in the subject regardless whether their teacher gives a good teaching. On the other hand, even though a teacher paid lots of work, students who natually lack gift or interest in the subject may still fail in learning it well. Thus, it is obvious unfair to judge a teacher’s work by simply considering his/her students’ performance.

Further more, there is no accurate way to show how much a student has learnt. Test may reflect part of knowledge a student has mastered, but it has a limitation. For example, a student happened to review most of contents in the coming test, he/she will certainly get a higher mark. But what about other knowledge that is not included in the test? If we just use students’ test scores as the standard by which teachers’ wages are judged, some teachers posibbly just teach students what will be in the tests.

Arguing above, we can easily realize it is not appropriate to pay teachers according to how much their students have learnt. All teachers who are trying their best to do well in the job should be given full respect and pay.

u571UID: 2175894

There is no doubt that teacher is one of the most significant professions, cause(because) it is teachers who convey knowledge and virtue to younger generationmaybe generations. By realizing their responsibilities, most teachers try their best to teach students as much as possible. So when it comes to whether teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn, my answer is absolutely no. There are two aspects that we should concern on.concern
former english is better^_^
Firstly, it is beyond the teacher’s capability to decide whether his/her students can absorb all the knowledge he/she has taught. Different students have diversity in learning the same subject. Some of them can be really gifted in it, as a resultthe cause-result relationship is not so obvious, they can easily handle problems in the subject regardless whether their teacher gives a good teaching. On the other hand, even though a teacher paid lots of work, students who natually lack gift or interest in the subject may still fail in learning it well. Thus, it is obviousobviously unfair to judge a teacher’s work by simply considering his/her students’ performance.

Further more, there is no accurate way to show how much a student has learnt. Test may reflect part of knowledge a student has mastered, but it has a limitation. For example, a student happened to review most of contents in the coming test, he/she will certainly get a higher mark. But what about other knowledge that is not included in the test? If we just use students’ test scores as the standard by which teachers’ wages are judged, some teachers posibbly just teach students what will be in the tests
Arguing above, we can easily realize it is not appropriate to pay teachers according to how much their students have learnt. All teachers who are trying their best to do well in the job should be given full respect and pay.
personally suggest a more conclusive setence^_^

写得挺快啊