Issue36【0906G背水一战三月小组】第4次作业 by yunfeiyang4ever

yunfeiyang4everUID: 2604917

欢迎大家指点！！！

【提纲】论点：有一些人的伟大是要同时代的人评价，而另一些人的伟大是要后人评述。我认为，同时代还是后人评定一个人的伟大，要看这个人所做的事情而定；
           1. 在一些领域里，同时代的人评定一个人的伟大更有说服力，比如说商业领域；
           2. 体育领域也是如此；
           3. 但是，在其他一些领域，比如科学领域，是由后来人评定一个人是否伟大；
           4. 同样在艺术领域，一个人是否伟大常常是由后来人评定的；
           总结：根据以上分析，我并不同意作者的说法：一个人是否伟大一个人是否伟大是由后人评定的而非他同时代的人。我认为，一个人对于社会的贡献决定了这个人的伟大是由同时代的人评定还是由后来人评定。

【原文】
    Who can decide the greatness of individuals? The speaker asserts that only the people who live after the individuals can decide their greatness. In my view, whether the greatness of individuals can be decided by overdue generation or contemporaries should stand on what they have done.

    In some extent, the greatness of individuals should be decided by their contemporaries. For instance, some individuals are models for our contemporary concept of success in the realm of business, such as Bill Gates, Max Welch. People appreciate them as great people due to their lots of money. In addition, they contribute amounts of their fortune to support public programs, such as education, welfare or institution. Still take Bill Gates as an example. His Foundation donates $21 billion to public programs that could have positive influence on the society at once while public could benefit from his behavior. Hence people lived in the same era do not need to delay the identification for later years.

    Meanwhile, another sort of people whose greatness should be decided by their contemporaries is athlete. Only people who watch them playing could judge their merit. If people observed that Michael Jordan win NBA championship for six times, no one can deny he was a great basketball player; also, if people observed that Pele, leading Brazilian soccer team, win the World Cup for twice, no one can deny he was a great soccer player. We, the later generation, only watch their game by way of the records. Imaging that there are no such records, the later generation could decide they are whether greatness or not difficultly.

    However, in other extent, the greatness of individuals should be decided by those who live after them. One of the most obvious examples is that the grandness of a scientist. As we know, some brilliant minds overstepped their contemporaries' understanding and endurance. Their new and unfamiliar theories convert people's perception of the world. So they cannot be comprehended by their contemporaries who could not judge their greatness objectively. For example, Barbara McClintock, the great Norwegian biologist, asserts that genes can move in the chromosome. Her theory was mainly not accepted by people in the same time. After thirty year, several scientists realized her theory might be true. In the end, the Nobel committee confers her Nobel biology Prize due to this theory decade later when she was eighty one years old. At the same time, people realized the importance of her discovery to the genetic engineering and her greatness was mainly admitted after nearly half century.

    Meanwhile, it is the same with artistic works that their greatness can be judged by later generation. One of the famous examples is Vincent Van Gogh, the famous Dutch expressionism painter, whose works are unaccustomed with his contemporaries that have been only appreciated by the people after his death. Another example is Ludwig Van Beethoven, whose music could not be approved by contemporaries due to his impaired appearance and manner. Also, amounts of artistic only are decided their greatness after their death. The name William Blake was unnoted in Victorian times; Emily Bronte and her works are disdained by the contemporaries’ critics.

    To sum up, I disagree the speaker's conclusion that the greatness of individuals can be judged only by the later generation, not by the people in the same time. Their contribution to the societies determines that who can decide their greatness.

yang1989UID: 2534880

【原文】
    Who can decide the greatness of individuals? The speaker asserts that only the people who live after the individuals can decide their greatness. In my view, whether the greatness of individuals can be decided by overdue generation or contemporaries should stand on what they have done.

    In some extent, the greatness of individuals should be decided by their contemporaries. 这里用should作为主题句不好。因为题目说的是事实层面上的判断，应然的判断无法论证。盖茨的例子也可以在“赚钱”层面上说明他的伟大的，因为他使家用电脑成为可能。For instance, some individuals are models for our contemporary concept of success in the realm of business, such as Bill Gates, Max Welch. People appreciate them as great people due to their lots of money. In addition, they contribute amounts of their fortune to support public programs, such as education, welfare or institution. (education等并不直接等于前面的programs,不能用such as联接。可以说 in fields ranging from education to public welfare之类。且不太明白institution指什么。 )Still 在同一段里以一个人的多个情况为例不需要说stilltake Bill Gates as an example. His Foundation donates $21 billion to public programs that could have positive influence on the society at once while public could benefit from his behavior. Hence people lived in the same era do not need to delay the identification for later years.

    Meanwhile, another sort of people whose greatness should be decided by their contemporaries is athlete. Only people who watch them playing could judge their merit. 举例之前应当论证得更清晰一些。为什么只有看到他们现场比赛的人才能评判？If people observed that Michael Jordan win NBA championship for six times, no one can deny he was a great basketball player; also, if people observed that Pele, leading Brazilian soccer team, win the World Cup for twice, no one can deny he was a great soccer player. We, the later generation, only watch their game by way of the records. Imaging that there are no such records, the later generation could decide they are whether greatness or not difficultly语法有误.

    However, in other extent, the greatness of individuals should be decided by those who live after them.还是应该把should变成could的论证 One of the most obvious examples is that the grandness of a scientist. As we know, some brilliant minds overstepped their contemporaries' understanding and endurance. Their new and unfamiliar theories convert people's perception of the world. So they cannot be comprehended by their contemporaries who could not judge their greatness objectively. For example, Barbara McClintock, the great Norwegian biologist, asserts that genes can move in the chromosome. Her theory was mainly not accepted by people in the same time. After thirty year, several scientists realized her theory might be true. In the end, the Nobel committee confers her Nobel biology Prize due to this theory decade later when she was eighty one years old. At the same time, people realized the importance of her discovery to the genetic engineering and her greatness was mainly admitted after nearly half century.呃，从个人观点来看，这个例子恰恰说明了一个人的伟大还是能被contemporaries发现的。later generation就应该是在他去世之后了。

    Meanwhile, it is the same with artistic works that their greatness can be judged by later generation. One of the famous examples is Vincent Van Gogh, the famous Dutch expressionism painter, whose works are unaccustomed with his contemporaries that have been only appreciated by the people after his death. Another example is Ludwig Van Beethoven, whose music could not be approved by contemporaries due to his impaired appearance and manner. Also, amounts of artistic only are decided their greatness after their death. The name William Blake was unnotedunnoticed in Victorian times; Emily Bronte and her works are disdained by the contemporaries’ critics.最好再来一句段总结。

    To sum up, I disagree the speaker's conclusion that the greatness of individuals can be judged only by the later generation, not by the people in the same time. TheirThe contribution(s) to the societies determines that who can decide their greatness.

(观点不太明确。如果是认可两方观点，那么应该对BODY的各段段首句多加重视才是，应该让人很清楚地感受到在什么情况下当代人可以辨认出伟大，什么时候不可以。
同样在每段进行小论证的时候，不要为了例子而例子。因为例子的威力依赖于使用它之前的论证的清晰度。否则会有堆砌例子而杂乱无章的感觉。
语言挺流畅，但要注意细节。)