0910AW SPECTACULAR [TSUBASA] 作业补交issue7 by wildrose800331

wildrose800331UID：2602131

TOPIC: ISSUE7 - "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
WORDS: 492
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2009-6-22 15:05:47
    Contemporary life seems more colorful and fabulous owing to convenient transportation, advanced communication system and modern electrical appliances. To record this, people prefer to use video cameras because they can record down accurately and convincingly, but it is premature or oversimplified to remark that the video camera has been more important than written records in documentation.

The video camera is used widely for significant events and daily incidents as well. Consider, for example, the Olympic Games in modern times which have been almost recorded by video cameras. Audience can enjoy the competitive atmosphere and cooperative spirit through watching these records. The audio and video effect brought out by video cameras can in turn give audience vivid pictures and real reoccurrences of even every move. It is evident that video cameras are a great contributor to recording down some remarkable moments in history. Video cameras also play an increasingly vital role in daily life of ordinary people. Many people tend to use them to keep a record of their family lives, covering birthday parties, graduation ceremonies or even some "first times" of speaking, walking, going to kindergarten, and so forth. They keep the video record as a precious and valuable memory of their family members.

However, the striking function of video cameras can not be exaggerated in to such a irrational extent that they are more important form of documentation than written records. Because video cameras have their own shortcomings and written records should be take precedence in some aspects. On one hand, video cameras have some unconquerable limitations. Every literary one can write, but they need more demanding efforts to learn how to use video cameras. Even those foolproof ones still require some patience and certain skills. Furthermore, video cameras can not be used in some places, such as museums, galleries, theatres or architectures while books and pens can. Another limitation lies in the volume of video cameras. They can only record for a certain period, such as 2 hours, because of the constraints of battery, tape or other in-built devices.

On the other hand, written records have irreplaceable precedence in some respect, in particular, as to historic values. Written records, ranging from paintings, poets, novels as well as other documents, resemble cultural essence and civilization achievements in the flow of history, which can not be underestimated or worse, neglected in a modern society of more advanced recording facilities. Nevertheless, these written forms handed down from ancient society are more accessible to popular roots. With books only, people would get immersed in what happened centuries ago. Merely video records can not reach that end.

In a conclusion, it is unreasonable to overemphasize the importance of video cameras as a recording form and believe that the importance of those has excelled the importance of written records. On the contrary, with their own respective advantages, both of them are greatly committed to documenting events and incidents in the river of history for human beings.

银落UID：2632560

好词好句
个人想法
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Contemporary life seems more colorful and fabulous owing to convenient transportation, advanced communication system and modern electrical appliances. （这句话用在科技里很好）To record this, people prefer to use video cameras because they can record down accurately and convincingly, but it is premature or oversimplified to remark that the video camera has been more important than written records in documentation.
开头段挺好的，简洁明了，不过最好在but的前面再加上一点written records的advantage会比较好~

The video camera is used widely for significant events and daily incidents as well. Consider, for example, the Olympic Games in modern times which have been almost recorded by video cameras. Audience can enjoy the competitive atmosphere and cooperative spirit through watching these records. The audio and video effect brought out by video cameras can in turn give audience vivid pictures and real reoccurrences of even every move. It is evident that video cameras are a great contributor to recording down some remarkable moments in history. Video cameras also play an increasingly vital role in daily life of ordinary people. Many people tend to use them to keep a record of their family lives, covering birthday parties, graduation ceremonies or even some "first times" of（例子·很好） speaking, walking, going to kindergarten, and so forth. They keep the video record as a precious and valuable memory of their family members.
首先，TS最好把video的应用范围写出来，然后还要突出他的重要。The video camera is used widely for significant events and daily incidents as well, accordingly, we humans cannot lose it for its importance. 例子用的很好。总体来说，写得很不错，语言也读起来很顺~

However, the striking（用striking是不是有点不好？magic） function of video cameras can not be exaggerated in to（into） such a（an） irrational extent that they are more important form of documentation than written records. Because video cameras have their own shortcomings and written records should be(去掉） take precedence in some aspects. On one hand, video cameras have some unconquerable limitations. Every literary one（这是文人的意思，直接改成，every ordinary individual就可以了） can write, but they need more demanding efforts to learn how to use video cameras.(这句有点歧义，我刚开始还以为你又要说video的好呢，所以每个人都要学习，后来看了几遍才明白）（改成when it comes to the convenience of using them, written records would be more preferable since not every ordinary individual can command the skill to utilize video records) Even those foolproof（GRE词汇） ones still require some patience and certain skills. Furthermore, video cameras can not be used in some places, such as museums, galleries, theatres or architectures while books and pens can. Another limitation lies in the volume of video cameras. They can only record for a certain period, such as 2 hours, because of the constraints of battery, tape or other in-built devices.
这段整体感觉也不错，例子也很好，只要有些句子表达再加强就ok了~

On the other hand, written records have irreplaceable precedence in some respect, in particular, as to historic values. Written records, ranging from paintings, poets, novels as well as other documents, resemble（像？。。这句话是什么意思。。像文化精髓和文明成果？，是不是应该用record，记录才对啊） cultural essence and civilization achievements in the flow of history（感觉怪怪的，但我又说不出什么别的表达）, which can not be underestimated or worse（似乎不对，我语法不好，全凭语感，希望可以讨论哈~，是不是应该用or less呢？）, neglected in a modern society of more advanced recording facilities. Nevertheless, these written forms handed down from ancient society are more accessible to popular roots（还是不懂，希望能告诉我哦~）. With books only, people would get immersed in what happened centuries ago. Merely video records can not reach that end.
这段写written records 的importance，很好。
In a conclusion, it is unreasonable to overemphasize the importance of video cameras as a recording form and believe that the importance of those has excelled the importance of written records. On the contrary, with their own respective advantages, both of them are greatly committed to documenting events and incidents in the river of history for human beings.
文章总体很不错，只是审题的时候再仔细点哦。。要在文章中稍微点一下为什么video cameras are not more important than written records哦，不然只是说双方的advantage和disadvantage，然后说written records are also vital是不行的，这样逻辑就不强了。
ok~。。文章很好。。思路清晰。。我得好好向你学了呢~

wildrose800331UID：2602131

Contemporary life seems more colorful and fabulous owing to convenient transportation, advanced communication system and modern electrical appliances. （这句话用在科技里很好）To record this, people prefer to use video cameras because they can record down accurately and convincingly, but it is premature or oversimplified to remark that the video camera has been more important than written records in documentation. 个人觉得这里既然是prefer了 就说明人们的取舍态度了
The video camera is used widely for significant events and daily incidents as well. Consider, for example, the Olympic Games in modern times which have been almost recorded by video cameras. Audience can enjoy the competitive atmosphere and cooperative spirit through watching these records. The audio and video effect brought out by video cameras can in turn give audience vivid pictures and real reoccurrences of even every move. It is evident that video cameras are a great contributor to recording down some remarkable moments in history. Video cameras also play an increasingly vital role in daily life of ordinary people. Many people tend to use them to keep a record of their family lives, covering birthday parties, graduation ceremonies or even some "first times" of（例子·很好） speaking, walking, going to kindergarten, and so forth. They keep the video record as a precious and valuable memory of their family members. 应用范围不是有两个么？significant events and daily incidents
Because of the wide application of video cameras, we humans cannot lose it for its importance.  However, the magic function of video cameras can not be exaggerated into such an irrational extent that they are more important form of documentation than written records. Because video cameras have their own shortcomings and written records should take precedence in some aspects. On one hand, video cameras have some unconquerable limitations. When it comes to the convenience of using them, written records would be more preferable since not every ordinary individual can command the skill to utilize video records. Even those foolproof ones still require some patience and certain skills. Furthermore, video cameras can not be used in some places, such as museums, galleries, theatres or architectures while books and pens can. Another limitation lies in the volume of video cameras. They can only record for a certain period, such as 2 hours, because of the constraints of battery, tape or other in-built devices.
On the other hand, written records have irreplaceable precedence in some respect, in particular, as to historic values. Written records, ranging from paintings, poets, novels as well as other documents, assemble cultural essence and civilization achievements in the flowing river of history, which can not be underestimated or even worse, neglected in a modern society of more advanced recording facilities. Nevertheless, these written forms handed down from ancient society are more accessible to popular roots（就是劳苦大众~）要么改成common people. With books only, people would get immersed in what happened centuries ago. Merely video records can not reach that end.
In a conclusion, it is unreasonable to overemphasize the importance of video cameras as a recording form and believe that the importance of those has excelled the importance of written records. On the contrary, with their own respective advantages, both of them are greatly and equally committed to documenting events and incidents in the river of history for human beings.
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