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bill5865UID: 3109557

8月2日，独立作文：
Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than help determine children's future.
正文：
Of course, parents’ instruction and advice have a huge effect on children’s direction in career, marriage and personality. As the closest people for their children, parents’ experience and knowledge about the puzzle meet by their children are the best resource of making decision. However, this fact does not mean parents should determine children’s future instead of giving them freedom to choose by themselves.

Actually, children are more likely to make better decision by themselves. Parents always tend to expect their children’s interests, career or even habits similar to their own. Their child, however, may born to be artist while his parents just neglect his talent and force him to be a doctor. Also, different people have different preference, which means some prefer better living condition and others may just want to have more achievement. That’s why an ambitious teenage will finally run away from his parents’ “ideal life”, and choose cruel and competetive life stile. Moreover, borning more than twenty or thirty years before their children, parents can not truly understand children’s online chatting community, rock music full of betray and painful, and even wild camping that seems dangerous.

Even when parents decision is wiser than their children, sometimes, it is better for children to make mistake instead of just do what their parents said. No matter how powerful or intelligent parents are, they can not help their children make decision in their whole life time. Children had to grow up to be independent even it is brutal in the family of children are already spoiled. All the parents also used to make lots of mistake to be mature at last. Also, children always rely on their parents tend to lose reputation or even be tease by their peers.

Addmitedly, children are naïve sometimes, and need to ask parents’ advice. Especially for teenagers, their impulse can destory their future by getting involved the trouble they can not handle. However, that is not give up the chance to independently make decision by themselves.

In conclusion, children should make teir own choice as they can make better decision and can grow up in deciding their own path. At the same time, when they can assimilate experience and knowledge from their parents, teachers and friends at the same time, their choice can not only lead them to right decision, but also to bright personality and future.

zyp5511UID: 2924000

Of course, parents’ instruction and advice  sometimes exerta decisive effect on children’s direction in career, marriage and even personality.  【有些词我觉得可以替换的我就替换了】

As the closest people for their children, parents could guide their children to make decision by using their experience and knowledge which also help children to overcome the problem their must face.   【 前面用了AS。。。。后面一定要parents 作主语】

what 's more, different people will choose their careers by their preference valus and ideal , which means some prefer to self actualization 【用这个词的时候我给你把意思换了， 我觉得这样可以让文章的对比强烈一点】 and others aim at more achievement, money, and social status. That’s why an teenage[ambitous 是正向词 在这里形容会有一个艰苦的生活不大妥] will finally run away from his parents’ “desirable  life”, and eventually lead a painstaking or happy life  


【仅仅个人观点  晚上改下面的部分 】  【若有瑕疵  请指正】

zyp5511UID: 2924000

2# zyp5511


【少看了一句- -】

Moreover, because there are generation gaps between parents and children 【我猜你想说这个】 parents can not truly understand children’s online chatting community, rock music, and even wild camping， they think these activities are dangerous and detrimental  , 【如果按你那么说 就直接定义 camping is dangerous 了】.  

我本来想用 which are thought of danger and detriment  by their parents  呢  不知道对不对  而且觉得有点重复   请后人帮忙来解答吧   



[只是个人建议  希望有人指出我的错  大家交流嘛 嘿嘿  ]


  文章观点和例子还是不错的   如果第一段扔出观点的时候把小观点也扔出啦就好了  文章有点chiglish  多背一点单词啊句型什么的    我真觉得新东方6级红宝的例句挺不错的     

xieqy0326UID: 2653877

改完了，个人看法哈~~

lisq9989UID: 2110509

改好了，加油~

bill5865UID: 3109557

8月3号的独立
In order to become financially responsible adults, children should manage their own money at a young age.

It is undeniable that children’s way to manage money seems naïve for an adult especially when they are at a young age. This does not mean, however, parents should deprive children’s freedom to manage their own money based on the consideration to let them become adults with financial responsibility.

First thing come first, children’s every mistake is the treasure of their future prosperous. For deposit money as a support example, when children just ask their parents for money if they need it, they can never know they should cut their budget on food, computer game or even clothes in order to save money for camera, computer or travel abroad. On the other hand, most good investors have to tolerate their desire on buying expensive cars and house in order to grasp a “one life time chance” for their future growth, which is related to their personality cultivation in their childhood.

Beside of that, children who manage their money are more likely to live better with the same amount of money. We can imagine that children’s money management style has those possibilities: for instance, the first one is that children could not get what they want when they want to buy more beautiful clothes while their parents just waste money for toys; the second one is that children have no chance to cultivate a good appetite. When children has to decide what to buy by themselves, they had to compare the prices of different commodities to make the best decision. In that process, they can learn which commodities are worth to own and worth to learn. Although they may waste much money on lots of useless things, they will have good appetite finally.

Admittedly, parents experience in money management should not be neglected. They can teach their children to notice the trick in advertisement and the trap of salesman. It is the mission for their children, however, to learn how and when to use their money. Therefore, parents should only give their children some guidance.

In a word, parents should give their children some advice on money manage instead of substitute them.
If they do not want their children borrow money and default at last after they run out of the salary when they are adults, parents should give their children the freedom to cultivate their ability to manage money since they are kids.

xiaomeidingUID: 3087416

In order to become financially responsible adults, children should manage their own money at a young age.

It is undeniable that children’s way to manage money seems naïve for an adult especially when they are at a young age. This does not mean, however, parents should deprive children’s freedom to manage their own money based on the consideration of(我觉得应该是去掉to let) 把let变成letting them become adults with financial responsibility.

First thing come  first是不是应该是First things come first 或者First thing comes  first, children’s every mistake is the treasure of their future prosperous. For deposit money as a support example(变support example为supportive example,因为support是动词或名词), when children just ask their parents for money if they need it, they can never know they should cut their budget on food, computer game or even clothes in order to save money for camera, computer or travel abroad. On the other hand, most good investors have to tolerate their desire on buying expensive cars and house（houses） in order to grasp a “one life time chance” for their future growth, which is related to their personality cultivation in their childhood.

Beside of that, children who manage their money are more likely to live better with the same amount of money. We can imagine that children’s money management style has those possibilities: for instance, the first one is that children could not get what they want when they want to buy more beautiful clothes while their parents just waste money for toys; the second one is that children have no chance to cultivate a good appetite. When children has to decide what to buy by themselves, they had to compare the prices of different commodities to make the best decision. In that process, they can learn which commodities are worth to own and worth to learn. Although they may waste much money on lots of useless things, they will have good appetite finally.

Admittedly, parents experience in money management should not be neglected. They can teach their children to notice the trick in advertisement and the trap of salesman. It is the mission for their children, however, to learn how and when to use their money. Therefore, parents should only give their children some guidance.

In a word, parents should give their children some advice on money manage instead of substitute them. If they do not want their children borrow money and default at last after they run out of the salary when they are adults, parents should give their children the freedom to cultivate their ability to manage money since they are kids.
偶是新手 如果改的不当 请不要介意

bill5865UID: 3109557

8月5日 20100313NA Printed books are greater effects on the society than television has.

Books are the stairs of human’s development. For society, books represent the more meaningful information; for citizens, books can change their fate in study, career and life. Thus I regard printed books as greater effects on the society than television has. My point of view can be strengthened by the following discussion.

First of all, based on features of books and their readers, books are more likely to show meaningful content. The readers of books, unlike the audience of television, usually read books to further their knowledge instead of just have fun. For me, I read books either for strengthening my skills and furthering my knowledge or for polishing my mind. In the first case, I prefer to choose the books with useful knowledge and clear discription; in the second case, I would like the books deeply dig out the potential problem and meaning of real life. Therefore, authors and editors need to inject meaningful and useful information into their books in order to sell their books better. However, when I watching television, I was look for fun and relaxation. Therefore, with television’s final mission is to attract more audience for more money in advertisement, television always show something attractive instead of helpful. Based on this comparision, we can see books tend to cherish meaningful content of our civilization.

Moreover, the information we get from books can benefit us more on different fields of our life. In study, textbooks are the partner for higher score and more chance; in career, books about skills and management are two tows to support us for promotion and more salary; in life, books of poem and novel can make our life colorful and solve our confusion. Therefore, books can make us competetive and optimistic while television might make us lazy and naiive. This means books can change our fate for better life. With contribution to the happiness of every citizens, books will accumulate huge contribution to our whole society.

Some people may against my view as television also show some meaningful things like documentary movie which can open our horizen. However, we can know this knowledge faster and more comprehensive through read related books. The efficiency and convinience of reading books can prove books’ advantage in transfer disseminate knowledge.

All in all, book has greater effects on society based on its advantages. People should read more books and read better books to fulfullment books’ value to our society.

season08UID: 2667789

8# bill5865

不好意思，马上给你改独立写作！！实在抱歉！！

lyn7981UID: 2758158

8.6号的在哪里呀？？？

sixjjleighUID: 2918719

完了，我改错了，改成你728的作文了~~~肿莫办

season08UID: 2667789

8# bill5865

Books are the stairs of human’s development. For society, books represent the more meaningful information; for citizens, books can change their fate in study, career and life. Thus I regard printed books as greater effects on the society than television has. My point of view can be strengthened by the following discussion.# d. Q) ]( ^& t1 e& X; M+ @
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First of all, based on features of books and their readers, books are more likely to show meaningful content. The readers （of books删）, unlike the audience of television, usually read books to further their knowledge instead of just have fun. For me, I read books either for strengthening my skills and furthering my knowledge or for polishing my mind. In the first case, I prefer to choose the books with useful knowledge and clear discription; in the second case, I would like the books which deeply dig out the potential problem and meaning of real life. Therefore, authors and editors need to inject meaningful and useful information into their books( in order to sell their books better这句话感觉与主题无关). However, when I watching television, I was looking for fun and relaxation. Therefore, with（to） television’s final mission is to attract more audiences for more money in advertisement, television always show something attractive instead of helpful. Based on this comparision, we can see books tend to cherish（这个词我觉得不恰当） meaningful content of our civilization. & V" c4 t' A* b3 z: h( z
! Y# @" Y. H! c5 ~2 e. l5 y5 E
Moreover, the information we get from books can benefit us more on different fields of our life. In study, textbooks are the partner for higher score and more chance; in career, books about skills and management are two tows to support us for promotion and more（higher） salary; in life, books of poem and novel can make our life colorful and solve our confusion. Therefore, books can make us competetive and optimistic while television might make us lazy and naiive. This means books can change our fate for better life. With contribution to the happiness of every citizens, books will accumulate huge contribution to our whole society.（这段论证的好漂亮！）
& p5 r! E' m4 L9 ~. \3 S( Z 6 i; Z8 }: \; D9 R$ \+ J1 C& P
Some people may against my view as television also show some meaningful things like documentary movie which can open our horizen. However, we can know this knowledge faster and more comprehensive through read related books. The efficiency and convinience of reading books can prove books’ advantage in transfer disseminate knowledge.  T7 C( N, W3 Z9 v" |' ~9 J
; H" D9 `! l" s- q3 e
All in all, book has greater effects on society based on its advantages. People should read more books and read better books to fulfullment books’ value to our society.

落落婧UID: 2761817

偶没有看到你的86哈~~你是不是还没贴上来啊~介是我的86独立~求狂拍~
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... xtra=#pid1775420346

bill5865UID: 3109557

不好意思，传晚了。求狂拍

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The advice from the grandparents is of no use to their grandchildren because the world has changed a lot over the past 50 years.


Of course, science and social change in the past 50 years has etched a era totally differect from before. However, most of the philosophy related to network and personality has not changed much. Therefore, grandparents’ advice is still meaningful to their granchildren.

In the case of network, people are still using the same way to make friends and corporate with others. No matter at which time, help others is the key to please people; “thanks” and “please” are two majic words when ask for help; and comfidence and humility are the best costume to make you attractive. Even now, Carnegie’s books are the model of people’s behavior just like 50 years before. No matter how dramatic change happened these years, people’s basic feeling and affection are still the same, which means the related experience from our grandparents is still useful.

For the philosophy of personality, hardworking, honest, and faithful are always the basis of succeed. No matter using computer or pen to do job, only the workers with desire spend more time on learning and working can offer more contribution to their company. Honest can make employees trustworthy, and faith can make them reliable. At any period, trustworthy, reliable and working efficiency are three required quaility of a leader. Therefore, grandparents can teach their grandchildren how to cultivate these three features through sharing their lessons and experiences before for children’s future succeed. For example, my grandfather used to tell me the painful of building his own business, which gives a motivation when I loss faith and brave to solve the puzzle in front of me. In one word, grandchildren should be humility to learn the experience related to personality in order to assimilate the spirit of last generation.

Admittedly, the technique revolution and social change have dramaticly changed our working and living style, bringing some of old habit outmoded. Then, some teenagers become too arrogant to negelect the experience from the last generation, and lead to their future mistake. As a word said, genius always learn lesson from others while foolish can just learn it from theirselves. So we should respect our grandparents’ advice to be the former one.

All in all, the stability of people’s affection and feeling makes grandparents’ advice to their grandchildren still useful even after these dramatical changes this 50 years. We should comebine old experice and new idea to polish our mind and skill for our next accomplishment.

lisq9989UID: 2110509

Of course, science and social change in the past 50 years has etched a era totally differect from before. However, most of the philosophy related to network and personality has not changed much. （感觉少那么一步，读了几遍这里，感觉因果关系没有明确。很多东西没变—而这些东西可以在祖辈身上学到—他们的意见才是有意义的。中间那个缺了以后，感觉上因果关系就弱了）Therefore, grandparents’ advice is still meaningful to their granchildren.# V/ v: G. r1 Q4 h2 n

- J$ P$ ]3 P) tIn the case of network, people are still using the same way to make friends and corporate with others. No matter at which time, help others is the key to please people; “thanks” and “please” are two majic words when ask for help; and comfidence and humility are the best costume to make you attractive. Even now, Carnegie’s books are the model of people’s behavior just like 50 years before. No matter how dramatic change happened these years, people’s basic feeling and affection are still the same, which means the related experience from our grandparents is still useful.（论挺好）
2 M' M  @# w9 z" s' H! C
( y3 x/ h5 ?7 v4 `+ R# H) {For the philosophy of personality, hardworking, honest, and faithful are always the basis of succeed. No matter using computer or pen to do job, only the workers with desire spend more time on learning and working can offer more contribution to their company. Honest can make employees trustworthy, and faith can make them reliable. At any period, trustworthy, reliable and working efficiency are three required quaility of a leader.（前后似乎没有因果关系） Therefore, grandparents can teach their grandchildren how to cultivate these three features through sharing their lessons and experiences before for children’s future succeed. For example, my grandfather used to tell me the painful of building his own business, which gives a motivation when I loss faith and brave to solve the puzzle in front of me. In one word, grandchildren should be humility to learn the experience related to personality in order to assimilate the spirit of last generation.
1 e; R( m% Y9 ]6 I) b* } 6 Y0 _  d5 B9 d* W+ M3 z: n; [- T& h; v
Admittedly, the technique revolution and social change have dramaticly changed our working and living style, bringing some of old habit outmoded. Then, some teenagers become too arrogant to negelect the experience from the last generation, and lead to their future mistake. As a word said, genius always learn lesson from others while foolish can just learn it from theirselves.（这句名言好像不能说明观点吧） So we should respect our grandparents’ advice to be the former one.8 `6 E' f) |& Z1 J) m

" O; @( [) ?( G% I& hAll in all, the stability of people’s affection and feeling makes grandparents’ advice to their grandchildren still useful even after these dramatical changes this 50 years. We should comebine old experice and new idea to polish our mind and skill for our next accomplishment.