fantasyfrog作文贴

fantasyfrogUID: 2548341

9.9 独立

Some people say we should never be impolite to another person. Do you agree or disagree?


Being polite is what we have been taught at home, in school and in community. It seems politeness is something basic that we should have when we interact with people.


For certain occupations, such as customs service, politeness is required. Few would deny that being polite could make people feel good, if not pleasure. Therefore, it is important to keep polite in front of customs, because they would probably revisit again. In contrast, being rude might lose customs. Take my own experience for example, once I went to a restaurant which is famous for the flavor of its foods. Although my appetite was great satisfied, I didn’t like the way the waiter talked to me, he was so arrogant that I decided not to visit that restaurant again. After all, a happy mood is also important for me.


Politeness can help you while rudeness can hurt you. You cannot always finish a job alone. When you request others’ help and your rudeness makes them unhappy, it might pose an obstacle to your work. The request you make might only be their responsibility, yet they could do more for you if you are polite. Sometimes, it is the extra work or information that could get you out of trouble. In China, if you ask a person to do your favor,you might not only need politeness, but also some gifts. All of these are just for one target – to make the one you request feel that he/she is happy to work for you.


Despite politeness can bring about a wealth of benefits, we need rudeness in certain situation. In a company, for instance,if an employee make a mistake that might cause great economic loss and he/she doesn’t realize it yet, the boss might need something that could impress the employee. Usually, the rage of boss means there is a critical problem and employees fear this. Therefore, it could be a powerful driving force behind employees that make them try their best to avoid mistake.


Overall, people should try to keep polite. It could make another person feel good and the same to themselves in return. However,if being impolite could bring more benefits, use them carefully.

hanqiUID: 2313191

改好了

fantasyfrogUID: 2548341

9.13
It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the loss of old friends? %

Traveling is always a good experience for many of us. It is excited to see new things. Since traveling is a short term activity, we can enjoy it. However, to live in a new place we have to face many difficulties, and losing old friends is one of them.

Information technologies, from traditional ones such as, telephone and email, to modern ones such as, Facebook, video talking, have greatly shortened the distance between people. In spite of this, it is still difficult to keep old friends in a long distance. First of all, those technologies are less efficient. People convey information not only through voice, but also through facial expressions and gestures. Even the online video talking cannot fully simulate the environment in which people talk. Moreover, time difference could hinder communication. China and U.S.A, for instance, have a time difference about 12 hours, and so that is quite inconvenient to interact with old friends. Most important, information technologies cannot replace other ways that we use to keep relationship. For example, my farther likes fishing and he used to have many friends who had the same hobby. After my family moved to another city, he rarely contacts his old fishing friends. They ended their friendships because they could not go fishing together.

Losing old friends might be compensated by making new friends. However, it is not easy any more. Firstly, it needs time. So we have to go through a period of lonely and boring. If our works keeps pressing us, we might not be able to make new friends. Also, making new friends is accompanied by uncertainty. If my family moved to a place where there is no river and great lake, or fishing is not a popular activity, my father might not know anyone who likes fishing.

Old friends are treasures that we should highly value and try to avoid losing. Sometimes, moving to a new place could offer us benefits, yet losing old friends is something difficult that we have to face. Therefore, we need to find a tradeoff between them.

fantasyfrogUID: 2548341

...

fantasyfrogUID: 2548341

10.3 之前好像出过这题，但是后来又改掉了。所以再发一次，求改

It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the loss of old friends? %

Traveling is always a good experience for many of us. It is excited to see new things. Since traveling is a short term activity, we can enjoy it. However, to live in a new place we have to face many difficulties, and losing old friends is one of them.

Information technologies, from traditional ones such as, telephone and email, to modern ones such as, Facebook, video talking, have greatly shortened the distance between people. In spite of this, it is still difficult to keep old friends in a long distance. First of all, those technologies are less efficient. People convey information not only through voice, but also through facial expressions and gestures. Even the online video talking cannot fully simulate the environment in which people talk. Moreover, time difference could hinder communication. China and U.S.A, for instance, have a time difference about 12 hours, and so that is quite inconvenient to interact with old friends. Most important, information technologies cannot replace other ways that we use to keep relationship. For example, my farther likes fishing and he used to have many friends who had the same hobby. After my family moved to another city, he rarely contacts his old fishing friends. They ended their friendships because they could not go fishing together.

Losing old friends might be compensated by making new friends. However, it is not easy any more. Firstly, it needs time. So we have to go through a period of lonely and boring. If our works keeps pressing us, we might not be able to make new friends. Also, making new friends is accompanied by uncertainty. If my family moved to a place where there is no river and great lake, or fishing is not a popular activity, my father might not know anyone who likes fishing.

Old friends are treasures that we should highly value and try to avoid losing. Sometimes, moving to a new place could offer us benefits, yet losing old friends is something difficult that we have to face. Therefore, we need to find a tradeoff between them.

fantasyfrogUID: 2548341

10.4
20100924NA College or University should offer more preparation before they start working

Most people study in a college or a university before they start their careers. It seems reasonable to think that colleges and universities should prepare their students ready for work. In fact, it is not only a responsibility of schools but a responsibility of the whole society.

Knowledge that students learn in schools is not enough. Students mainly focus on studying knowledge in specific areas, such as computer science, biology, etc. In one’s career, however, this knowledge can only handle problems in that particular area. People need more than that. When interacting with other person, for instance, people must follow certain social etiquette. Thus they might be able to success. Moreover, there are still many things that they should learn, say how to cooperate with people, how to release working pressures. Schools cannot prepare all of these for students.

Since schools cannot teach students everything, they should focus their major function – teaching professional knowledge. Someone believes that schools should teach them how to apply for a job. Admittedly, these skills can help students in their job hunting. They do not, however, make them more competitive. After all, employs want people who really master skills that they need but not people who are good at interviews. If schools offer too much in training these skills, there must be negative impact on what students are supposed to learn, because students have already suffered from the heavy burden of coursework.

Actually, students should prepare themselves on their own. Everyone is different. So they should make their own plan according to their own strengths and weaknesses. They can find an internship in a firm or be a member in a social organization to accumulate professional or social experiences. In additions, the well-developed Internet has huge information that could help them. For examples, information about companies, experiences from successfully admitted employees and instantly shared information, these would make self-preparation much easier.

Assuming that schools should prepare everything for students is unrealistic. Schools cannot do everything for students and it is never too old to learn. Therefore, it is a responsibility that everyone should take.

yuanruicongUID: 2912839

我第一次改作文，发现和你改的注重点不太一样，我改的比较多的是用词。 可能有不对的地方，多多包涵哈~
在行文上，我觉得有点写跑偏了，在第一段和第二段的侧重点上有些跑了。
再一点，是文章布局上，我认为第二段有点过长，和其他几段不太协调。

yuanruicongUID: 2912839

你的10.4的作业我等一下就发过来~ :)

yuanruicongUID: 2912839

10.4的批改
不好意思，晚了这么长时间发上来

fantasyfrogUID: 2548341

9# yuanruicong

非常感谢

fantasyfrogUID: 2548341

10.8
20100312NA Agree or disagree? If children want to do well in school, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies.

No parents want their children to be less competitive in the society. So it is important to help children do well in school. In other words, never lose at the starting line. While I agree with it, the statement falsely blames watching TV programs or movies for hampering study.

Limiting the hours of watching TV programs or movies will not change the performance of children in school significantly. First, increasing the amount of time of study doesn't guarantee a good performance in the school. With a proper method, children can get twice the results in half the time. This point is best illustrated with the story of the famous mathematician Gauss, who solved the problem of adding from 1 to 100 within a short time. In contrast, if children work in a wrong way, it is just a waste of time. Moreover, avoiding watching TV programs or movies is not equivalent to increasing study time. Children are still able to entertain themselves in many other ways, such as reading cartoon books, playing football with peers or even playing a prank to neighbors. Most importantly, instead of forcing children to study, parents should make them feel that study is a happy thing and let them make a choice between study and playing on their own. For instance, since I had learned how to program on a computer, I gradually lost my interest in video games, because at that time creating a computer game was much more attractive than playing it. .

Admittedly, children should not waste their time on some TV programs or movies. They may be lack of nutrition and contribute nothing to the growth of children. Movies with violent or porn contents are even harmful to them.

In conclusion, I would argue that parents should cultivate children's interests so as to make them self-motivated.

alohasallyUID: 2860276

修改了 我们多多交流啊

香草鱼UID: 3125484

改好了：）

No parents want their children to be less competitive inthe society.(语气上有些不妥,个人认为不用双重否定而是把句式展成长句更能抓住读者) So it is important to help children do well in school. Inother words, never lose at the starting line. While I agree with it, thestatement falsely blames watching TV programs or movies for hampering study.(题目本身并没有立场,开头段不能用Argument的写法，说观点再论证就好)(另外，破题没破开，并没有提一下分论点，这样下面的结构就不连贯)
! s, A+ q% u# a9 [  ]+ t) U, \
Limiting the hours of watching TV programs or movies will not change theperformance of children in school significantly. First, increasing the amountof time of study doesn't guarantee a good performance in the school.(performance对象不明，另外performance要同义替换) With a proper method, children can get twice the resultsin half the time. This point is best illustrated with the story of the famousmathematician Gauss, who solved the problem of adding from 1 to 100 within ashort time. In contrast, if children work in a wrong way, it is just a waste oftime. Moreover, avoiding watching TV programs or movies is not equivalent toincreasing study time. Children are still able to entertain themselves in manyother ways, such as reading cartoon books, playing football with peers or evenplaying a prank to neighbors. Most importantly, instead of forcing children tostudy, parents should make them feel that study is a happy thing and let themmake a choice between study and playing on their own. For instance, since I hadlearned how to program on a computer, I gradually lost my interest in videogames, because at that time creating a computer game was much more attractivethan playing it.

（论证思路没有展开，只是从逻辑上指出论题的错误）
Admittedly, children should notwaste their time on some TV programs or movies. They may be lack of nutritionand contribute nothing to the growth of children. Movies with violent or porncontents are even harmful to them.

In conclusion, I would argue that parents shouldcultivate children's interests so as to make them self-motivated.

（结构方面中间段写成三段会比较好起码要有两点，最后两段完全可以合成一段，语言方面多丰富一下句式）

fantasyfrogUID: 2548341

:)

amanda330UID: 2768793

我们昨天一组，我下下来了，改完给你传上来， 我下午写完传上来！