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Issue48欢迎大家指正,洗衣粉越多越好。呵呵! [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-7-17 19:11:24 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
--题目--  
issue48 "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
--提纲--  
1)sometimes the general people are neccessary to the process of significant events。
2)the famous few seems to more important compared with the general people in some fields like Poltics。
3)it could be also much diferent in areas like science。
--文章--
     The speaker alleges that it is the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten but not the famous few that made the most significant events and trends possible.However,after more consideration,I find this allegation to be specious.Although the general people served to be neccessary in the events,sometimes it was the famous few who had sparked and led most of the events.On the other hand,it is also possible that the famous few control the whole occurence all by himself/herself in some other areas.
    In the first place,I agree that sometimes the general people are neccessary to the process of significant events.They served as the basis without which the happening of such events were nearly impossible.For example,in the World War Two,it was only through the collective efforts of Confederation that we could broke down the Fascism whose power was strong enough to threaten any country in the World alone.It is undoubt that all the soldiers served as an entity to make the worldwide,thorough victory.In this case,the contribution of the general people could not be igonored.
    However,the famous few seems to more important compared with the general people in some fields like Poltics.Also take the same example mentioned above.In the World War Two,the famous leaders such as Churchill,Roosevelt,Stalin were undoubtly decisive to eventual victory.It was for their insights and determination that make the Confederation go back to the right way time and time again.Consider Churchill for example.It was his inspiring speech---"never never give up"---that aroused the British people's passionate heart after being raided by the Hitler's army.Therefore,we could not underscore the influence of famous few since they lead the events,at least to some extent.
    On the other hand,it could be also much diferent in areas like science.Firstly,sometimes the things could be well done all by the scientist him/herself,which might lead to breakthrough of one specific theory.For instance,the famous astronomer Copernicus disagreed with the leading theory dominated by religion at that time that the earth was the center of universe,because through his own observation and collected data,he found that if the Sun were assumed as the center,the phenomenon observed went well with the data.His such method also started the new way of scientific research in the following times. Secondly, although there were cases that some theory was the result of many famous scintists and they were not famous FEW,they could not be defined as groups of people whose identities were forgotten.Each of them was a famous one.
       In conclusion,the influence of famous few to the achievements of evnets were greater than the ordinary people who sometimes seerves as the neccessary part ,though.The famous few might lead the event all by themselves.

[ Last edited by hustzwj on 2005-7-17 at 19:12 ]
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沙发
发表于 2005-7-28 10:07:11 |只看该作者

我来

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板凳
发表于 2005-7-28 10:48:22 |只看该作者

改完啦!

Issue48欢迎大家指正,洗衣粉越多越好。呵呵!

--题目--  
issue48 "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
--提纲--  
1)sometimes the general people are neccessary to the process of significant events。
2)the famous few seems to more important compared with the general people in some fields like Poltics。
3)it could be also much diferent in areas like science。
--文章--
     The speaker alleges that it is the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten but not the famous few that made the most significant events and trends possible.However,after more consideration,I find this allegation to be specious.Although the general people served to be neccessary in the events,sometimes it was the famous few whothat吧 had sparked and led most of the events.On the other hand,it is also possible that the famous few control the whole occurence all by himself/herself in some other areas.时态都用过去时有必要吗?   
In the first place,I agree that sometimes the general people are neccessary to the process of significant events.They served as the basis without which the happening of such events were nearly impossible.For example,in the World War Two,it was only through the collective efforts of Confederation that we could该倒装了吧 broke down这个是坏了的意思啊,你要说打倒或者推翻用beat down或者overthrow the Fascism whose power was strong enough to threaten any country in the World alone.It is undoubt that all the soldiers served as an entity to make make up 吧?the worldwide,thorough victory.你是要说每个战士作为一分子构成了最终的胜利是吧?用entity行吗?你要是确定也回我一下哈,学一手:PIn this case,the contribution of the general people could not be igonored.
    However,the famous few seems to more important compared with the general people in some fields like politics.Also take the same example mentioned above.In the World War Two,the famous leaders such as Churchill,Roosevelt,Stalin were undoubtly decisive to eventual victory.It was for强调句吧?没有for their insights and determination that make the Confederation go back to the right way time and time again.Consider Churchill foras example.It was his inspiring speech---"never never give up"---that aroused the British people's passionate heart after being raidedraid好像不适合用在这里吧,不如用attack by the Hitler's army.Therefore,we could not underscore与你想用的意义相反 the influence of famous few since they lead the events太罗嗦了吧,删掉听起来比较正常,at least to some extent.
    On the other hand,it could be also much different in areas like science.Firstly,sometimes the things不如直接说research could be well done all by the scientist him/herself,which might lead to breakthrough of one specific theoryrealm好一点吗?.For instance,the famous astronomer Copernicus disagreed with the leading theory, which the earth was the center of universe,从句这样加比较顺畅dominated by religion at that time ,because through his own observation and collected data,he found that if the Sun were assumed as the center,the observed  phenomenon went fit well with the data.His such method also started the new way of scientific research in the following times. Secondly, although there were cases that some theory was the result of many famous scientists and they were not famous FEW,they could not be defined as groups of people whose identities were forgotten.Each of them was a famous one.secondly听起来有些牵强哦~
       In conclusion,the influence of famous few to the achievements of evnets is greater than the one of the ordinary people who sometimes serves as the neccessary part ,though.The famous few might lead the event all by themselves.结尾应该可以写的更具有总结性一些~

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地板
发表于 2005-7-28 10:51:37 |只看该作者
你这样写出来感觉说politics和science没有什么difference啊,和提纲写的不符~除非你想突出的是那个secondly,但是你又没有说明白,让人看不太懂哦~
剩下的思路还很流畅,只不过语法错误很多啊,跟我有一拼啦,呵呵,一起加油啦!

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发表于 2005-7-28 12:48:19 |只看该作者
改完啦!

Issue48欢迎大家指正,洗衣粉越多越好。呵呵!

--题目--  
issue48 "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
--提纲--  
1)sometimes the general people are neccessary to the process of significant events。
2)the famous few seems to more important compared with the general people in some fields like Poltics。
3)it could be also much diferent in areas like science。
--文章--
     The speaker alleges that it is the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten but not the famous few that made the most significant events and trends possible.However,after more consideration,I find this allegation to be specious.Although the general people served to be neccessary in the events,sometimes it was the famous few whothat吧 had sparked and led most of the events.On the other hand,it is also possible that the famous few control the whole occurence all by himself/herself in some other areas.时态都用过去时有必要吗?(因为这里是在讨论关于历史的问题,故全部用的是过去时!)   
In the first place,I agree that sometimes the general people are neccessary to the process of significant events.They served as the basis without which the happening of such events were nearly impossible.For example,in the World War Two,it was only through the collective efforts of Confederation that we could该倒装了吧 broke down这个是坏了的意思啊,你要说打倒或者推翻用beat down或者overthrow(^_^3x!我当时的确没想到!) the Fascism whose power was strong enough to threaten any country in the World alone.It is undoubted that all the soldiers served as an entity(whole body) to make make up 吧?the worldwide,thorough victory.你是要说每个战士作为一分子构成了最终的胜利是吧?用entity行吗?你要是确定也回我一下哈,学一手:P(我查了,entity 是individual, unit的意思。这里换为served as a whole body! ^_^)In this case,the contribution of the general people could not be igonored.
    However,the famous few seems to more important compared with the general people in some fields like Politics.Also take the same example mentioned above.In the World War Two,the famous leaders such as Churchill,Roosevelt,Stalin were undoubtly decisive to eventual victory.It was for强调句吧?没有for(3x!) their insights and determination that make the Confederation go back to the right way time and time again.Consider Churchill foras example.It was his inspiring speech---"never never give up"---that aroused the British people's passionate heart after being raidedraid好像不适合用在这里吧,不如用attack(raid is sudden attack) by the Hitler's army.Therefore,we could not underscore与你想用的意义相反 the influence of famous few since they lead the events太罗嗦了吧,删掉听起来比较正常(接受!),at least to some extent.
    On the other hand,it could be also much different in areas like science.Firstly,sometimes the things不如直接说research could be well done all by the scientist him/herself,which might lead to breakthrough of one specific theoryrealm好一点吗?(还是感觉theory更适合一些).For instance,the famous astronomer Copernicus disagreed with the leading theory, which the earth was the center of universe,从句这样加比较顺畅dominated by religion at that time ,because through his own observation and collected data,he found that if the Sun were assumed as the center,the observed  phenomenon went fit well with the data(3x!).His such method also started the new way of scientific research in the following times. Secondly, although there were cases that some theory was the result of many famous scientists and they were not famous FEW,they could not be defined as groups of people whose identities were forgotten.Each of them was a famous one.secondly听起来有些牵强哦~(改为At least, each of them was not ordinary people!)
       In conclusion,the influence of famous few to the achievements of evnets is greater than the one of the ordinary people who sometimes serves as the neccessary part ,though.The famous few might lead the event all by themselves.结尾应该可以写的更具有总结性一些~(偶每到结尾总是很难下手!)

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发表于 2005-7-28 12:53:15 |只看该作者
你这样写出来感觉说politics和science没有什么difference啊,和提纲写的不符~

可能与第四段的开头写法有关。
改为:
On the other hand, it were also the famous scientists who lead the significant breakthrough in the history!

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Golden Apple

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发表于 2005-7-28 14:02:38 |只看该作者
--文章--
     The speaker alleges that it is the去掉the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten but not the famous few that made the most significant events and trends possible.However,after more consideration,I find this allegation to be specious.Although the 同上general people served to be neccessaryindispensable更好! in the events,sometimes换成however, it was the famous few who had that,had去掉sparked and led most of the events.On the other hand,it is also possible that the famous few  control the whole occurence all by himself/herself in some other areas.时态问题先不予评论,control the whole occurence 觉得不是很当,用direct the significant events怎么样?呵呵!

In the first place,I agree that sometimes the general people are neccessary to the process of significant events.They served as the basis without which the happening of such events were nearly impossible.For example,in the World War Two建议要么写成希腊字母Ⅱ,要么直接用the second World War ,two表述不对!,it was only through the collective efforts of Confederation that we could broke down could we  defeat the Fascism whose power was strong enough to threaten any country in the World alone.It is undoubted that It is 句型不要用太多了!让ETS觉得你的词汇很贫乏!改为undoubttedly,吧!all the soldiers served as an entity(whole body) to make make up 吧?the worldwide,thorough victory.你是要说每个战士作为一分子构成了最终的胜利是吧?用entity行吗?你要是确定也回我一下哈,学一手:P(我查了,entity 是individual, unit的意思。这里换为served as a whole body! ^_^)感觉表达还是不妥!最好整个句子都换了!without the help of common people and ordinary soldiers,no need to say the thorough win,any victory in the reality is a beautiful illusion.In this case,the contribution of the general people could not be igonored.
   
有点事,就先说这么多吧!不当之处还望指正!:):)
呵呵!我们是校友,以后可以多多交流啊!;P

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=307359              (ISSUE-173)
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=307355              (ISSUE-48)
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=305966              (ISSUE-185)
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=305470              (ISSUE-157)
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=305082              (ISSUE-131)
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=304874              (ISSUE-51)
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=303340              (ISSUE-8)
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=302834              (ISSUE-137)
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=302487              (ISSUE-137)

[ Last edited by polymath on 2005-7-28 at 14:06 ]
Mencius said,"When heaven is about to confer a great office on any man,it first exercises his mind with suffering, and his sinews and bones with toil.It exposes his body to hunger………….By all these methods, it stimulates his mind, consolidates his character, and increases his efficiency".

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发表于 2005-7-28 21:05:24 |只看该作者

有关raid,大家一起学习一下吧,呵呵~

我是一开始看到的是小股势力的突袭,所以觉得不太适合,现在看来好像还好哈,呵呵~
又学一手:P
raid
raid
AHD:[r³d]
D.J.[reid]
K.K.[red]
n.(名词)
A surprise attack by a small armed force.
突然袭击,奇袭:由小股部队进行的急袭
Sudden, forcible entry into a place by police:
突然搜捕:警察突然使用暴力闯入某地:
a raid on a gambling den.
警察对赌窝的突然袭击
An entrance into another's territory for the purpose of seizing goods or valuables.
侵入:为了攫取货物或财宝而闯入他人领地
A predatory operation mounted against a competitor, especially an attempt to lure away the personnel or membership of a competing organization.
掠夺:对竞争对手采取的掠夺式的行动,尤指目的在于吸引走竞争组织的人员或成员
An attempt to seize control of a company, as by acquiring a majority of its stock.
侵吞:获得对某公司支配权的努力,如通过获得该公司的大部分股票
An attempt by speculators to drive stock prices down by coordinated selling.
抛售股票:投机者为使股票价格大幅下跌而采取的联手抛售行为
v.(动词)
raid.ed, raid.ing, raids
v.tr.(及物动词)
To make a raid on.
袭击:对…发动奇袭
v.intr.(不及物动词)
To conduct a raid or participate in one.
进行奇袭:采取或参与奇袭

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RE: Issue48欢迎大家指正,洗衣粉越多越好。呵呵! [修改]
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