~作文集合修改铺开张啦~

hrfUID：2151859

麻烦大家了
题目：Many women now do work which is traditionally done by men. Why do you think change happened and what is your opinion.
正文：
Not surprisingly, plenty of women present in positions which used to be recognised as men’s job. The reason of this could be diverse. Thus, the impacts of this would be both in positive and negative.

The main reason is that the average increasing level of education makes women more independent in thinking. Women are equipped with knowledge which makes them more confident than ever, thereafter, increased their work opportunities. The raised self-awareness is another reason. A great number of women believe that they are capable to do a job that used to done by men. Furthermore, the changed principle both in men and women should not be ignored. Evidently, it is said that there is an increasing number of men staying at home to play a role as a women. What does this mean is that women are good at some difficult tasks, such as persuading, while men could also easily handle some housework.

Such a trend appears an ideal picture of society, equality. It illustrates progressive civilizations. As we can see that the horizons and the quality of women are broadened and enriched. Meanwhile, it is obvious that increasing contributions of women is a benefit for society. However, As a result of this, some negative impact would also incur. Some women are reluctant to give a birth at their early age due to the ambition of developing their career. This leads to an aged population suspending the development of society.


In conclusion, due to several reasons, women play roles in some positions that used to be recognised as men’s job. It sheds light on the development of civilization and indicates tendency of equality between female and male. However, it also brings a problem, an aged population, which could prevent the growth of society.

AK474747UID：2309314

回复76楼hrf：
麻烦大家了
题目：Many women now do work which is traditionally done by men. Why do you think change happened and what is your opinion.
正文：
Not surprisingly, plenty of（plenty of 后只能接不可数名词，woman是可数的，可改 a large number of ） women present in positions which used to be recognised as men’s job(要不是men’s jobs,要不man’s job ，man 和woman 修饰名词时，单复数应与所修饰名词一致). The reasons of（of 改为for） this could be diverse. Thus, the impacts of this would be both in（in 去掉） positive and negative.

The main reason is that the average increasing level of education makes women more independent in thinking. Women are equipped with knowledge which makes them more confident than ever, thereafter, increased their work opportunities. The raised self-awareness is another reason. A great number of women believe that they are capable（capable可改为able表能力） to do a job（a job 改为jobs 与前面的women对应） that used to done by men. Furthermore, the changed principle both in men and women should not be ignored. Evidently, it is said that there is an increasing number of men staying at home to play a role（a role 改为roles） as a（a 去掉） women （加上do）. What does （去掉does）this mean is that women are good at some difficult tasks, such as persuading, while men could also easily handle some housework.

Such a trend appears an ideal picture of society, equality. It illustrates progressive civilizations. As we can see that the horizons and the quality of women are broadened and enriched. Meanwhile, it is obvious that increasing contributions of women is a benefit for society. However, As（as） a result of this, some negative impact would also incur. Some women are reluctant to give a （去掉a, birth 不可数）birth at their early age（ages） due to the ambition of developing their career. This leads to an aged population suspending the development of society.


In conclusion, due to several reasons, women play roles in some positions that used to be recognised as men’s job（jobs）. It sheds light on the development of civilization and indicates tendency of equality between female and male. However, it also brings （加上about 表产生一个问题）a problem, （，改为 of）an aged population, which could prevent the growth of society.

文章结构不错，思路很清晰，表衔接副词和连词用的很好，结尾稍微有点冗长，总结的不够精辟。主要问题在语法和语言的应用，有些词汇重复率比较高。

由于水平有限，只能找出一些小问题，谨慎接受啊！呵呵！

AK474747UID：2309314

剑7test1 的小作文，麻烦各位帮忙修改修改，谢谢！第一次复习雅思，顺便给个分数啊
Task1
The table compares several consume items among different countries including Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey in 2002.

Generally speaking, the percentages of food, drink and tobacco in five countries were significantly more than those of clothing and foot wear, which outnumber those of leisure and education.

In terms of food, drinks and tobacco, Turkey ran the first, taking up 32.14% of total expenditure, almost double as much as that in Sweden, which was the least and only 15.77 per cent. This percentage in Ireland was 28.91%, being the second highest one.

As far as clothing and shoes were concerned, the proportion of Italy outweighed all other counterparts, reaching 9%. While the percentages consisting of Ireland, Spain and Turkey were approximately 6.5%, Sweden hit the lowest point of 5.4% again.

When it came to leisure, the percentage of Turkey amounted to 4.35%, which was the top one again and more than twice the proportion of Spain, being the lowest one and under 2 per cent. The percentage of Italy and Sweden were similar, evidenced by the fact that they were 3.2% and 3.22% respectively.

To sum up, Turkey generally had higher consuming expenditure proportions of three items above than other countries, apart from the percentage of clothing and footwear being lower than that of Italy.

kaka2007f1UID：2659059

绝对是好贴，以后俺也参加

wang_huayingUID：2675798

jihao

wang_huayingUID：2675798

In the contemporary world, learning foreign lauguage becomes more and more popular in many different field, it has gone on a "foreign language studying" spree in China,but some people said if the one want to learn foreign language well, she (or he) should also learn the foreign country as well as the culture and lifestyles of the people who speak it,in my point of view, foreign culture and lifestyle is helpful to learning foreign language and master it,I tend to agree with it.

In one hand learn about foreign country is the way to understand forgeiner thinking method and speaking method as well as writing structure.If you know more and more about this country you would understand how people thinking is and how they are going to speaking,obviously, it is helpful to master the foreign language well and stand at the oppsite position to comprehensive the content well. Furthermore, to learn about foreign culture and lifestyple also help us to enrich our knowledges and broaden your viewpoints, if you have known a different culture system with your natives, you will able to use different value system to assess diffent culture, behavior, and customs, that may help you deepen your insight into global issues and enlarge your knowledge reservation. Moreover,different lifestyle help you to consider and observe new things with different scale.

In the other hand if the one do not learn about the relevant cultures and lifestyle of foreign country ,although can learn foreign language well it would often cause misunderstanding of currentsatuation and wrong judgement. Relevant knowledge can be a very strong brace to support foreign luaguage studying, without those knownleges, foreign language cannot be digestted well and comprehensived well, the accustomed thinking method would lending to wrong way.

In conclusion, I would say learn about foreign language is a hard work and need long time persistence, without relevant culture and lifestyle background also can learn foreign language well but with those background can speed up master foreign languages.

wang_huayingUID：2675798

题目忘了
In order to learn a language well, we should also learn about the country as well as the cultures and lifestyles of the people who speak it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

wang_huayingUID：2675798

我感觉总出现“YOU”这样的句子挺奇怪的，达人推荐点被动句写法，谢谢。。

宋慕UID：2669667

78# AK474747


回复78楼，我觉得"Generally speaking" 这样的短语用在文章开头段落有点奇怪，既然你后面有"to sum up“了，这个Generally speaking是不是就可以去掉呢？

宋慕UID：2669667

我是新烤鸭，第一次写大作文，完全辞穷，并且超时，并且写了一身汗……现在把原文贴在下面，希望能得到大家的指教！非常非常感谢！

In current society, media plays very important role in our life. It has changed the way of communicating at a large extent comparing with those in old times.

Television is one of the greatest inventions of communicating media. It provide people vast amount of information that happened in the world everyday, by clear and lively images. People from different countries can share the same important moment at the same time just by sitting in front of the television. However, Tv was also described as being harmful to people, preventing us from thinking independently, being a consuming trap sometimes rather than media.

Radio is another effective new media. It provides a great deal of information as well. But radio is limited at live broadcasting due to its disability of presenting images.

Film is quite different with Tv and radio. It shouldn’t be counted in the “media” category in the strict sense, but film work form an effective ‘channel” to let the information spreading and expanding through. People pay great attention at the crew, the trailer, the gossip stories about actor and actress before its releasing, and the box office, the critic reviews and awards after.

All the three types of media are efficient in our daliy life. But television is the most effective above all. It breaks the barriers of time and space, providing audience an full range of information experience. I still remember the shock moment on 11th September, 2001, when I was watching CNN coverage on the terrorist attacks through satellite. Without Tv, It impossible for me getting know everything about the largest terrorist attacks in history immediately at the other side of the earth.

wang_huayingUID：2675798

结构不错 。楼上的。

_Helen_UID：2675978

85楼有些小错误 如第一段 ...plays (a) very important role...  at(to) a large extent...

我也贴自己的，8月8日就考了，G类，恳请大家指教。

Children spend 14 hours per week watching TV, and only 6 hours on conversation with their family members. It will reduce the children’s ability of maintaining real human relationships do you agree or disagree?

It is true that children today spend too much time watching TV and too little time talking with their family members. Some people claim that spending long time watching TV will influence the development of the communication ability of children. However, I disagree with them and would like to support my idea in the discussion below.

There is certainly no denying that spending too much time watching TV may to some extent exert a negative influence on children’s ability of maintaining real human relationships. Indulging in the programs too much, children seldom talk to the family members. Those children become self-oriented and think less for people around them. Besides, some TV programs containing violence, crimes and pornography contents tempt children to go astray.

However, children could development their communication skill if they are watching TV with their parents. Parents can help their children learn more about other people from some educational TV programs. For example, when I was little, my father always sat with me in front of the TV, watching the program “See the world” on CCTV1, from which I learned people from other countries, found out their traditions, customs and history. I asked my father whenever I had queries on the program. The more I watched from the program, the more I knew other people and wanted to meet people from all around the world.

Furthermore, other benefits of watching TV for children cannot be neglected. The world is changing constantly and the TV is the key to all the information and knowledge available in the world today. Therefore it is import ant that children learn their interests from watching TV and with confidence as they will need the knowledge throughout their studies and working lives.

From what have been discussed above, children can benefit a lot through watching TV. At the same time, we need to make sure that young children do not watch TV too much. Parents must ensure that their children learn to enjoy other kinds of activities and not simply sit in front of the TV at home.

宋慕UID：2669667

我感觉自己介词用得很不好，而且同义转换也差。

比如“……为……提供了……的机会”，我就只会用provide，offer，allow这三个。

masiyuan214888UID：2664049

Question:
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Composition
Advertisement has become increasingly prevalent in modern society. In the meantime, whether ads affect the real needs of popular consumer goods has sparked spirited debates. Some individuals hold the opinion that the development of advertisement leads to rising sales of commodities, which are not based on people’s real needs. Personally, I think the view is only partly true.
There is no doubt that individuals will buy something they enjoy without effect of publicity.  In the first place, it is obvious that not so much people would know clearly about goods through the TV commercials and the print media. In other words, advices from people around us, such as neighbors, friends and family member will influence our selection of goods. People get used to use the same brand names, even when new ones have been introduced in the ad coverage, thereby living a familiar and comfortable life. In the second place, the price of goods will jump rapidly if it has its own advertisement, because the manufacturer has to pay considerable advertising fees to the mass media. In contrast, customers do not have the responsibility of affording the extra money for the media, which result in some advertisements losing their magical power. Last but not the least, some goods may have high sales just for their own utilities, which allow them do well even without advertisement.


Admittedly, the advertisement help the production boost their market and give rise to the quantity sold. If two goods are similar in their prices, quality or usage time and so on, most people would choose the one with advertisement. But as a matter of fact, there isn’t much coincidence like this in real life.


To sum up, advertisement may increase the sales of consumer goods. Nonetheless, I think people do shopping mainly for meeting their intrinsic needs or demands. Overall, I am convinced that the government should regulate the mass media efficiently to restrict the possibility of excessive advertising.
欢迎大家打分

xzkaokaoUID：2644198

我的情况是这样，水平实在太低了，刚开始准备作文，实在不敢给楼上的打分，不是懒……请谅解…………
  这是我第一篇习作，恳请大家指出大量错误和不妥的地方，非常非常的感激！！！

          In this day and age,it is not uncommon that individuals often travel from country to country, which lead to the culture diversity. But meanwhile, whether the host country should welcome the culture differences from other countries is an issue open to debate.Some individuals insist that the visitors and tourists from other countries should seriously follow local customs and behaviour. Speaking for myself, I think this view is partly true.
        It is manifest that in terms of technological and society developments,culture diversity may creates numerous benefits.In the first point with respect to this is that local residents in some impoverished countries have learnt a great deal of knowledge from visitors travelling from other countries thereby enhance their own technological skills.For instance, some Asian countries like Japan imported tons of goods and sailing skills from ancient Chinese, which contributed to their social sciences and engineering development. Moreover, the harmony between ethnic races also calls for individuals knowing cultures from others better. A vast number of wars in human history are not only caused by the business problems,but some by the conflicts between individuals who barely have a understand with each other. Like some countries in mid-Asian are still fighting for some religion problems, which causes numerous people`s death. In addition, host countries that welcom culture differences obviously benefit far more from the tourism than others which force the visitors to follow their customs as modern companies usually invest more money in the places where they may be adapted to.
        On the other hand, some individuals believe that cultures from other countries puses a threat to their own. Actually, a vast number of gorgeous old building are replaced by new building like skyscrapers in a rapid speed, regardless of their value;therefor,that make residents feel their culture heritage is lost quickly. However, it is worth noting that such situation may be alleviated if the authorities aware of their obligation to regulate these actions. As a result,old building which play a pivotal role in culture heritage will be preserved.
        To conclude,I firmly believe, host country should welcome culture differences, which brings numerous technological skills and a great deal of money;therefore, local residents may benefit a lot.