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We may accept that young researchers, who maintain plentiful imagination, are more likely to make breakthrough than experts in some fields.这一句话用了太多的some,能不能去掉前两个呢? So the statement conclude that the beginner is liable to make contributions in any field, but I overall disagree with this view.这句话能不能改成:However, I overall disagree with this view that the beginner is liable to make contributions in any field, for the reason that…这里作者可以写一写反对意见的观点。
The breakthrough in one area needs a directional guiding. If one do not have or just have little fundamental knowledge about one specific filed, which is usually called 'beginner', whose imagination may just like a non-directional water flow on one plane surface. Sometimes the water cannot move because no force to push them, or sometimes separated in all directions and therefore lots of beads of water are wasted. This means that the beginner may spend a lot of time while in wrong direction, thus the creation will be thwarted.
On the contrary, if the beginner could accumulate amount of basic knowledges while remaining the imagination, her/his creation could successfully increase under the directional imagination. Just like water flow, with the help of a protuberant surface, can flow to one general direction, since the start point was different, can get to various sub-directions. For example, Cauchy is known as one of the most famous mathematician in the world. Besides his ingeniousness and creativeness in math, his education should not be ignored either. Because of the excellent performance in studying, Cauchy can work directly under Laplace (who is famous for his work on mathematical physics), whose achievement on math shows Cauchy a brand new world and also broaden his horizon. And the famous mathematician Lagrange was also no stranger in the Cauchy family. Under the two masters' guidance, Cauchy progressed rapidly and laid a foundation of the break in his mathematical productivity. So we conclude that before make achievements in one certain field, beginner should be equipped with enough understanding of this area. 这一段的例子似乎写的多了,导致篇幅有些长。好像更多的成分是在支持题目的观点,但是作者在第一段不是说overall disagree吗?所以多写些反对的内容比较好。
Furthermore, some study field, such as celestial observation, need years of observation to get firsthand information. And according to a long time of accumulating, experts usually have the opportunity to make progress. 如果能够加上一些具体的例子在这一段就更好了。
it is true that without the restriction from conventional and commonsense view, the beginner usually has marvelous thoughts of new ideas. the over-separated imagination may block the development of creation, in contrast, with proper guidance from the fundamental knowledge, one with variant imagination is more likely to make breakthrough in certain fields.作为结尾段,作者最好加一些表明关系的关联词,连表明作者的观点。 |
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