[作文] fantasyfrog作文贴 [复制链接]

No parents want their children to be less competitive inthe society.(语气上有些不妥,个人认为不用双重否定而是把句式展成长句更能抓住读者) So it is important to help children do well in school. Inother words, never lose at the starting line. While I agree with it, thestatement falsely blames watching TV programs or movies for hampering study.(题目本身并没有立场,开头段不能用Argument的写法，说观点再论证就好)(另外，破题没破开，并没有提一下分论点，这样下面的结构就不连贯)
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Limiting the hours of watching TV programs or movies will not change theperformance of children in school significantly. First, increasing the amountof time of study doesn't guarantee a good performance in the school.(performance对象不明，另外performance要同义替换) With a proper method, children can get twice the resultsin half the time. This point is best illustrated with the story of the famousmathematician Gauss, who solved the problem of adding from 1 to 100 within ashort time. In contrast, if children work in a wrong way, it is just a waste oftime. Moreover, avoiding watching TV programs or movies is not equivalent toincreasing study time. Children are still able to entertain themselves in manyother ways, such as reading cartoon books, playing football with peers or evenplaying a prank to neighbors. Most importantly, instead of forcing children tostudy, parents should make them feel that study is a happy thing and let themmake a choice between study and playing on their own. For instance, since I hadlearned how to program on a computer, I gradually lost my interest in videogames, because at that time creating a computer game was much more attractivethan playing it.

（论证思路没有展开，只是从逻辑上指出论题的错误）
Admittedly, children should notwaste their time on some TV programs or movies. They may be lack of nutritionand contribute nothing to the growth of children. Movies with violent or porncontents are even harmful to them.

In conclusion, I would argue that parents shouldcultivate children's interests so as to make them self-motivated.