[习作点评] hugesea的作文修改铺 [复制链接]

lynnzhang2009
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发表于 2010-3-30 21:05:03 |显示全部楼层

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1079214&extra=
ISSUE40麻烦修改

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dfly_zx
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发表于 2010-3-31 22:27:28 |显示全部楼层

issue130(习作第三篇)
提纲如下1.    （请问是不是离题了？）  1.孩子提早社会化有助于他对社会价值观与社会环境的认识，从而能使他在踏入社会以后更容易的生存下来。在他们能在社会中立足的基础上，才有可能带来一个更好的社会；
2.    2.但是，过多社会化带来的一个问题是个性以及才能的丧失。社会化可以使他们得以在社会中立足，但这只能是一种survive，谈不上determine the destiny of society。
3.    3.现在社会对孩子在社会化问题的教育还存在较多问题，其一就是越来越多的强调社会化。如何才能找到proper way教育孩子-针对社会化问题，一是告诉他们一些社会中的理念与现象，不至于让他们脱离社会；二是需要正确的引导，社会化的程度不能太深，要让他们的个性得以发挥，而这就需要引导他们树立起正确的价值观，能够判断什么是好的，什么是不好的，从而在进入社会以后能确立正确的人生观，并且为推动社会的发展而努力。
谢
I fundamentally agree with the author’s opinion that the destiny of society is determined by the scale of children’s socialization and we need to find a proper way to educate our children who in turn can bring about a better society. Compared to the past, social civilization has achieved a great progress by the alteration of human beings. On the other hand, the development of society leads to a different content about what children learn and get from society. As a matter of fact, how a person was educated in his childhood determines whether he can adapt to society after they Graduate from schools and struggle for life individually of his parents and then will absolutely affect the destiny of society. So, whether children are educated and socialized in a proper way and what should we do if we want to prepare a better life for the future desires to get a discussion.

Admittedly, people without connection to the world outside might hardly survive after they step out into society, not to mention to create a better future for the society.. Nowadays, many people hold attitude that instead of the knowledge in textbooks, parents and teachers should try to let children learn about the social values and the living situation. These people assert evidence that children from villages or small towns may not adapt to the conditions in the society after they graduate from high school, especially for children who grow up under a poor condition such as lacking high-tech education. There even exists someone who does not know how to make a living without their parents. This phenomenon is very common in developing countries and even more serious in undeveloped countries and districts. Considering this, some people give a suggestion that it is the parents' duty to socialize their children in an early age and this can be a preparation helping children reform society.

However, other factors determining the development of society must be considered if we want to put forward a way to the progress and destiny of society. What most wanted nowadays is to fight for each inch of social progress rather than the satisfaction of the achievement we created before. If people accept social values in a too early age, it would be easier for them to survive in the society where helps and cares from parents and other relatives appear little or play little weight.

But this would also possibly leads to vulgarization for these people and a waste of the talent they get when they are children. Their individual interests, creativity and courage seeking for the answer about a great idea when they are innocent will lost. Without these important characters, would it be possible for them to make any great contribution to society? So, is it the right way only pursuing children’s socialization if we adults want to help our kids be the leaders who can give our society a better future? Does this actually contribute to the progress and development of society?
Helen Keller, a great author, political activist and lecturer
in history who has been deaf and blind in early childhood, got her special education which is different from the social education from her teacher
Anne Sullivan
during that period. What would be the future of Helen if she was told that a deafblind person will be eliminated by society when she grows up?

To bring about a better society, one needs to survive first. On this condition, he must try his best to achieve his dream doing good to society and the motivation usually come from his interest and support from his supporters. Finally, he may get what he wants, or, he may fail while his spirit and effort will do affect others and motivate others trying to give our society a better life.

Taking the parameters discussed above, the education method we choose nowadays to help our children bring about a better society desires to be reconsidered Only pursuing children’s socialization is not enough or even be misleading. On one hand, we should not let our children get uncorrelated from society. On the other hand, we should encourage children do what they want with their interests. What is more, helping children get a right social value will help them find out whether a goal is worthy for them to work hard for it and what the right way is if they want to achieve a goal. On this condition, letting children know more about the real society would be desired.

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