hugesea的作文修改铺

hugeseaUID: 190158

实在是抗不到零点哦。。
薇薇vivi 发表于 2010-2-9 10:19

呵呵，你写得两篇，我都还没写过，恩，我先选一篇改吧
issue 40

另外一篇等下星期吧

海凝冷月UID: 2604584

issue15 第一次写作文，希望帮着修改一下
Issue 15- The stability of a society depends on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior.

用时：53分钟   字数：434

The speaker claims that the response of a society towards the extremes of human behavior determines the stability of it. I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion, however, I also admit that this kind of response is not the sole warrant of the societial stability.

The treatment of a society towards the extreme human behaviors, especially those evil ones such as murder or arson, mirrors the bottom line of its moral value. Though differs from countries to countries, almost all communities show their determination to eliminate severe crimes as thorough as possible. Governments enact rules and regulations, and punishment if necessary, to regulate the behaviors of their citizens China, as well as some states in the United States, allows execution for those who commited unforgivable crimes. These punishments, though seem brutal to some extend, help to establish the basic societal order which can contribute to the harmony of the society.

The extremes of human behaviors, on the other hand, represent not only the evil ones. Tremenderous contributions are also included. The encouragement and reward given by the government towards those who have devoted their lives to making contributions to the welfare of people and the prosperity of society can also serve as the stimulus for its citizens in persuit of achivements beneficial both themselves and the whole community. Firstly, the government can by this way provide those misery teenagers with a shining beacon of advancement. In addition, it will trigger grown-ups to strive for acomplishments in assorted fields, which will fortunately enhance the overall living conditions the the society. Last but not the least, a favourable atmosphere where respects knowledge and talent and outstanding people can be established, which can lead the society to the track of sound progress.

Admittedly, how a society responds to the extremes of human behavior plays a consequentail role for its stability. There are still other matters, however, contribute to the hamouny of a society. So long as the poverty still exists, so long as the hunger and starvation are not eliminated, so long as discrimination is not thoroughly gone, there will still be potential threat for the stability and harmony of society.

In sum, the social stability, to some extend, relies on the government's response towards the extremes, whether evil or admirable, of human behavior, though it is not the sole matter that affect the harmony. Governments should take measures to ensure equality of rules and regulations, to amplify incentive scheme for those who have made their marks in respective fields, and to trackle enduring problems such as starvation and poverty, so as to ensure the stability and promote the prosperity.

hugeseaUID: 190158

issue15 第一次写作文，希望帮着修改一下
Issue 15- The stability of a society depends on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior.

用时：53分钟   字数：434

The speaker claims that the re ...
海凝冷月 发表于 2010-2-9 11:37

已经改完，请查收

pigaretUID: 2749103

谢谢你帮我批改~~我是写ritual and ceremonies那个。又看了几次，没有例子的论证实在是失败！考试的时候一定会注意。还有就是我的那个body第一段和第二段就是想对应开头说的From tribe sacrifice in the early time to the parades of people in streets of modern times,来分别说明过去和现代ritual\ceremony对人类认识自己的意义。如果这样说的话，楼主大人看看还可以怎么改进让这个逻辑更清楚呢^_^还有就是最后的结尾怎么结才能更贴切呢~~哎，现在最怕的就是逻辑有问题了。请多多赐教！

vangossUID: 2761618

请问占位是什么意思啊？比如说我如果掌握不好时间误差，能不能连续发帖？

vangossUID: 2761618

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1059434&extra=
请指正！谢谢！

vangossUID: 2761618

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1059434&extra=
感谢指正~~~

薇薇viviUID: 2722200

呵呵，你写得两篇，我都还没写过，恩，我先选一篇改吧
issue 40

另外一篇等下星期吧
hugesea 发表于 2010-2-9 11:06

哦，太谢谢了哦

tequilawineUID: 2702008

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1059276-1-1.html 这个ARGU
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1059274-1-1.html 这个ISSUE

charlesAFAUID: 2750393

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1056144-1-1.html

海凝冷月UID: 2604584

谢谢修改哈 :)

qyr1987UID: 2754639

楼主 我这篇写得自己感觉有点非主流 把论点分开写了 不知道行不行啊 你给看看啊

ISSUE40 - "Scholars and researchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is more important that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem."

Both assertions made by the author are specious. The first contention flies in the face of empirical evidence that impetus in the realm of scholarship and of research mostly attribute to the will to help development of the society. The second allegation overstates the contribution personal interests exert.

Admittedly, it is reasonable to do research without concerning the contribution to society. Paying too much attention on contribution will restrain the ideas without any mundane concerns. In fact, the essence of research is to explore the unknown frontiers of the world, which means even the scientists themselves are not that sure about what they would discover, let alone what influence their works may exert. In retrospect of history, many profound breakthroughs are result from imagination or even by accident with, nothing to do with the contribution to society. Kekule, a German organic chemist, found the ring shape of the benzene molecule by imagining a snake chasing its own tail; Marie Curie did not intend to discover the element of radium, which was all by accident.

However, on balance, it is crucial to do research with concerning the contribution. On one hand, the better-being of society is a wish most people share; as a result, research for that wish is relatively easy to attract fund and personnel resource. Query whether it is possible for the accomplishment of Manhattan Project if not so many scientists devoted their efforts for the purpose of terminating the war and of bringing back peace earlier. On the other hand, if not think twice before use, a research originally designed as impetus for society may alter to a threat. The product of Manhattan Project, nuclear bomb, eventually became no more than a tool for kill. Therefore, society should regulate the trend of research.

On one hand, interests are vital to scholars' and researchers' work. After all, interests are the fount of creativity; the Wright brothers conceived the first successful motor-powered plane all owing to long for flying. Besides, interest could be among the paramount driving forces which help the scientists insist on research regardless of obstacles and tedious process. The zeal for nature helped Darwin dedicate himself to discover and interpret the discipline of nature all his life; no matter how hard it was to drift from pillar to post for collecting data and how boring to analyze those data; finally, his immortal masterpiece-the Origin of Species-came out. Query whether he would have made it without such interest.

On the other hand, if they merely made personal interests the cynosure, their endeavor may be in vain and may even induce disaster, especially when interests surpass rationality and become the master of thoughts. Quite telling an example is that some people were still immersed and even passionate in building perpetual motion machine long after the law of conservation of energy was discovered; as a result, they were driven from pillar to post all their lives. Their sharing interest played an important role in undermining their lives.

In the final analysis, research ultimately belongs to the all human beings and the whole society. Without interests, research would lose its starting point and underpinning; without the well-being of society as objective, research would lead nowhere even to abyss.

qyr1987UID: 2754639

不好意思啊还是留个链接吧https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1058860-1-1.html

拜托给提点意见 拜托了

hugeseaUID: 190158

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1059434&extra=
请指正！谢谢！
vangoss 发表于 2010-2-9 20:00

已经改完了，请查收

hugeseaUID: 190158

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1059276-1-1.html 这个ARGU
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1059274-1-1.html 这个ISSUE
tequilawine 发表于 2010-2-9 22:05

issue已经改完了。。。

你写完这篇issue是不是觉得抒情，感觉连“沧海桑田后，谁还记得谁？”这样的
句子也能用处来，简直是文思泉涌？

那我先打击你一下，这篇文章我读起来，凌乱且毫无逻辑，而且还偏题...重写吧