S酱的作文贴－－欢迎各位砖家携板砖光临

S酱UID: 2883188

1004  Parents find it hard to control their children for the children are now inf luenced by many things outside home like television or movie.

Nowadays, parents find it is hard to control their children, and it is believed that some things outside home have contribute to this phenomenon, such as television or movies. However, I think it is irrational to ascribe the reason to extrinsic reasons. From my perspective, some intrinsic and domestic reasons as family education should account for it.

With the fast rhythm of life，many parents who are busy with works have less and less time to spend with their children than before. In my opinion, this is one of the main reason that it is difficult to control their children. In light of insufficient time to spend on building family relationships with their children, impossible it is for parents to understand what their children do and think. Disputably, no one could solve a problem before understand it, it is not surprisingly to find that they could not control their children as they wish.

Besides, parents often fail to communicate with their children in a correct way. In China, there are still many parents who hold the old opinion think children should follow whatever their parent said, so they don't concern much about their children's feeling but only command them what to do. On the contrary, children are usually not able to tell their troubles and worries to their parents because of shyness or they just don't know how to. Hence, a communication barrier has been formed between parents and children, which often leads to misunderstanding and further results in discord between parents and children. If parents could take some measure to win their children's confidence, effort spent on communication with their children would reward them.

However, some people hold the opinion that why children are hard to control is due to the influence of outside factors such as television or movies. These outside factors do have certain negative or positive effect on children's growth, but they could not become the initial reason which make children hard to control. For my part, television and movies do help to broaden children's horizon in some extend, but children who have various ideas or even opposite opinion against their parents don't mean they are unwilling to listen to their parents' words. The correct control of children is based on the equal communication and understanding of each other.  Wise parents would listen to their children's opinion then conduct them so as to achieve the control of their children.

From all above, I believe that things outside home such as movies and televisions are not the main reason that children are hard to control . The true reason lies in family education, which means it is parents' behavior that should take responsibility for this.

S酱UID: 2883188

1004 TPO8  嗯第二次写综合……第一次是在考场上……请狠狠的拍！！

The speaker in the listening material believes that the story of Chevalier is accurate, which contradicts with the statement in the reading passage. The speaker proposes three point to support her statement.

Firstly, the speaker claims that Chevalier did have huge wealth when he was in Switzerland. And the fact that He borrowed a lot of money from Swiss merchant didn't mean he was poor which was stated as an evidence of Chevalier's lies in the reading material. That was because Chevalier made money from trade so it was common for a businessman to run out of cash, which could force him borrow some money from the others.

Second, the woman said it is true that Chevalier had met and talked with Voltaire, while the reading material hold an opposite view by doubting that the facticity of their conversation record, because it was impossible to remember the exact phrases after years. However the speaker said that the Chevalier had written down all their details of conversation after their talk every time, so it was not surprisingly that the exact content of conversation could be recorded and published many years later.

Finally, the speaker disputes the statement in the reading part by showing evidence that Chevalier did made the prison-break himself. Although the writer believed that Chevalier made up the event and he was actually freed with the help of his powerful friend in Venico. On the contrary, the speaker disagreed with that opinion as the following reasons. One is that many people who had more powerful political friends were not freed so it was not reasonable to conclude that Chevalier was rescued by his friends. Another is that a record of the prison showed the ceiling had been repaired，so it was convincing that Chevalier had broken the ceiling which made it need repairing.

17308001UID: 2737541

写得挺好

S酱UID: 2883188

1005 独立小组
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.


In order to attract more consumers, advertisement has produces mountains of tactics to magnify the advantages of their products, which lead to the conclusion that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits. Although I admit the advertisement do have certain impact on the unhealthy eating habits in some extent, I think it is irrational to place all the blame on advertising. My reasons are listed as follows.

First and foremost, the main cause of unhealthy eating habits is due to the unhealthy life style. Since no one can deny the intrinsic cause are always predominant in one's life, so it is unfair to ascribe the bad habits to some extrinsic causes such as advertising. It is acknowledged that people often dislike to eat vegetables in their childhood.  Take me as an example. When I was a kid, I hated all the vegetables and only liked to eat meat and fruits. Although thousands times had my mother required me to have vegetables in order to prevent me from lack of Vitamin, I didn't listen to her at all. And it was obviously that my unhealthy eating habit is just because I dislike vegetables, not the advertising influenced me. Hence it is not reasonable to say that the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits come from advertising.

Besides, another significant cause of unhealthy eating habits is the irregular life style. With the fast rhythm and heavy burden of life, more and more people, especially the young who live in cities, tend to have a less regular life. Nowadays, it is quite common to see that young people work till very late. So they always eat snacks while working even at night, which would undoubtedly do harm to their health. More over, the stress coming from study or work could also lead to unhealthy eating habits. Since there are people who release their pressure by constant eating whereas the others are suffering from anorexia due to the depression which could not relieve in a correct way, there are still many other causes should be taken into account to investigate the main causes of unhealthy eating habits.

However, advertising, to some degree, can affect the decision of consumers. Some children would be misleading by the advertising, for example, crying for some beverage which state a good impact on children's health but actually goes in a opposite way. Some young girls,  who dream of the devil figure of the beauties in the advertise, would eat less food thus develop a wrong eating habits. However, these could not go further enough in supporting the statement that the most significant cause of unhealthy eating habits is advertisement.

From all the discussion above, it is clearly that advertising is not the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits. One who had a wrong eating habits should examine himself, but not ascribe it to extrinsic causes such as advertisements.

S酱UID: 2883188

1005 特训小组 独立写作

University Education is the most important factor of success in life

What is the upmost significant elements of success in life? Definitely it is the university education. Although some one will argue my point with a myriad of statements, I still confirm that university education play the most important role in achievement of success in our life. My reasons are as follows.

Undoubtedly, it is the university which provide the academic education to one's life. We received early education in primary school, and learned about the basic knowledges of different subjects in middle and high school. But these knowledges are no longer enough for us either to our job-hunting, nor to our further development. Only in the university, could we step into the academic area, which could provide us with the wide and deep knowledges of the field we want to dedicate to. If we learn it by ourselves without the systematic education in university, we probably have a low efficiency or even take a wrong way.

Another important factor which could contribute to our future success is the people we meet in university. No one could deny the importance of connections in the modern society. Since could one never succeed alone without the other's assistance, we should build good interpersonal relationships as early as possible. People in the college have potential and knowledge, they probably have more chances to get a better job then have a better development than those who don't go to universities. Besides, people in university would have a great variety of vocations after graduation, so we could probably obtain powerful and manifold assistance from them in the future. It is said that the greatest forms of financial leverage is contacts, so we should attract great importance to people connections, and disreputably university is one of the best stage can we achieve this in an early time.

However, some one will contradict my statements with examples like Bill Gates or Dell, who had dropped school  then make tremendous achievements in an early age, so it is not necessary for people to go further education in university. I admittedly there are always talents in the world, but they are the minority. Sometimes the fortune and genius could bring success rather than university education, but for common people who don't have unrivalled talent would better go to university then can we come closer to success in life.

All in all. From the discussion above, can we safely draw the conclusion that university education does play the most important role in accomplishment in our life.  Although university education is not the only way to success, we still should think highly of university education.

米爆爆UID: 2892134

你写得好快阿。。。。。

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

LZ写得很不错呢。很多值得学习的地方。
一起加油噢！

S酱UID: 2883188

63# 17308001
谢谢～你是路过顺便帮我改了吗～因为貌似咱们不是一组的

chxh2020UID: 2587109

10-4综合写作修改。不妥之处可以共同探讨，独立小组群中名字为chxh1009。

asamsunUID: 2884772

It is quite common that morden people are more or less suffering from stress due to the fast rhythm of life. In order to relieve pressure, some people prefer to stay alone. In my viewpoint, there are other options for one to relieve stress rather than that, and spenting time with other people is a case in point.

When depression attracts. from my perspective, it is not a wise choice to trap oneself at home or sit in a bar drinking shot after shot, that would merely not help us feel better, but contribute to our depression. On the contrary, people should go to their friend(friends) for help. Indisputably a good friend is always ready and willing to help you(建议少用，用us替). After a good talk with friends, people would usually find the depression has gone away, which could turn them become full of vigour again. Take me as an example. When I am under pressure and feel bad, I always call my friends to eat out. When staying with my best friends, I feel free to share my happy and unhappy experience with my friends, then she (they)will tell me hers(theirs). The delightful talk and the fine food always sweep my bad mood away. So I think having a free talk with friends is one of the best method(methods) to release pressure.

Another good way to help is doing sports. Since sports could not only built out physics body, but also could strengthen our heart and mind. When playing sports, individals will not able to spare any time on his worry but just contrentrate(concentrate) on playing. I recommend people to do team sports for the purpose of relax. For instance, One of my best friends Joe is used to playing basketball with his classmates every afternoon. He said that the sweat just takes all his pressure away, and leave(leaves) him a good mood. It seems the same with my older brother, he always play badminton in a gym at Satuday in order to relieve stress from work. He said that playing badminton with his colleagues is not only helpful to release pressure, but also keep them in form at work in the next week. Moreover, another relevant merit of team sport is that the accomplishment a team achieves together could contribute to our self-confidence, which would definitely enhance our ability to defeat the stress.

Even though some people would choose to stay alone to release stress, such as going to movie theater or listening to music at home. However I think it is more effective to hung out with the others. Since there is a saying that a trouble shared is a trouble halved, it is better for people who are under pressure to relieve stress by playing with the others
From all the discussion above. I strongly recommend that people should spend time with the others in order to release pressure.
首先谢谢你的批改和意见，你的文章写的非常自然，比我模仿的自然要好。你的语法很好，只是偶尔有几个小错了，但瑕不掩瑜，貌似在阅读群里见过你的大名了，呵呵～敬仰敬仰～
P.S:我想问实际考试中能写多少字呢？

S酱UID: 2883188

1005 TPO9
In the reading material, the author introduces a new kind of engine which uses energy called hydrogen-based fuel, and he thinks this new engine has more advantages than the internal-combustion engines and will replace it soon. However，in the listening material, the speaker contradicts the writer's opinion with three points.

Firstly, the speaker said it is hard to obtain hydrogen, which is opposite to the statement in the reading material. Actually, hydrogen is not so available as energy, because it is highly artificial and difficult to store due to the storage requirements such as pure liquid state and very low temperature.

Second, the speaker disagrees with the statement in the passage that the hydrogen-based fuel will reduce pollution and will contribute to the environment. In order to get hydrogen from water, a huge mount of coal and oil will be burned, so disregard the new engine is friendly to the enviroment, the process of manifecturing hydrogen will produce a lot of carbon dioxide which will definitely do harm to the environment.

Finally, the speaker holds a different view against the writer's opinion that it is economic for people to use the hydrogen-based fuel. On the contrary, the hydrogen-based fuel will be quite expensive. That is because only in an engine which is made of a rare and expensive metal could the chemical reaction take place, so people would not be able to save money by paying for such an expensive engine.

From all the statements above, the speaker draw the conclusion that the hydrogen-based fuel engine will not be widely used in a short time so it could not replace the internal-combustion engines soon.

jjooyyUID: 2704028

926  The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries.



It is widely acknowledged that education is crucial to the country's further development. Thus, we cannot emphasize too much on the importance of education's quality in our country. Someone believes that the key to improve the quality of education is to increase the teachers' salaries. It sounds rational but suffers from logical flaws and has ignore(ignores) some other important aspects which contribute to the promotion of education quality. : G$ E5 ?% i; d

Firstly, I admit that there might be some good influences to(on) the quality of education if the country increase the teacher's salaries. However, it is irrational to conclude there are causal(casual是关系随意，前面又否定 总的来说 就是肯定了 可以改成close) relationships between them. For on no account should we ignore the other elements such as teachers' quality, the facilities of schools and the setting of courses, which are combined and calculated to make an increase of the nation's education quality. For instance, why people around the world are eager to pursue their further education in the United States? No doubt that people are attracted by the excellent quality of education. There are good teachers who can give an intriguing class, unique teaching methods which can broaden one's horizon, beautiful campus which provide a delightful studying environment. All of those contribute to the good quality of education.
这段说 还有其他的因素很重要


Among all of above, I think the quality of teachers is essential to the quality of education. If the quality of teachers in the country are not promoted, though a high salaries are paid to them, there are few improvements with their teaching skills, and so does the quality of education. If the government takes more effort in promoting the quality of their teacher, then the teacher can give much more valuable classes to the students, which is the sign of good education quality. Take my high school as an example. Before 2006, the proportion of students who got the admission of  universities is 60%. In order to stimulate the teacher's(teachers') passion for teaching, our school increase their salaries. But on the following test, the quantity of admission didn't change much. Then our school started to reform by adjusting the structure of courses and absorbing several famous teachers. One years passed when the students had attended the admission examination again, the proportion of admitted students had risen to 80%, which showed that the teacher's quality is the most significant factor to the education quality. 注意同意代换 不要老是 education quality， paraphrase！                                                                                                                        1 V) L+ B1 X* u# N: N
这段说 涨工资未必能提高教学的质量 逻辑问题是 学生的录取率不能代表学校的教学质量 呵呵 托福不看逻辑 我只是心里痒。。。
Even though some one will argue that the high-paid salary can provide a more stable life so that teachers can concentrate on their teaching. However it fails to take into account that the instinct value is more effective than money. For the teachers who love their vocation with all their heart, there is nothing to do with money because they like teaching(换个词 比如 instructing, educating...), which is the initial motivation to good teachers. If our government or school could select much more people who are willing to dedicate to the teaching career, the education quality of our nation will be improved.
这段说 升工资未必有用  g( h: X* f
From the discussion above, we can draw the conclusion that increasing teacher’s salaries can’ t be the best way to improve the education quality of one country. If we want to enhance the quality of education, there are much things to do rather than increase the salary of teacher.

建议把第二段变为第四段 这样思路更连贯
注意同义转换，不要老是teaching...
小细节：不要随意用the 注意单复数的问题
每段段首的开场白有点啰嗦 不能一眼看清
GRE的训练 让你的作文看起来 不错了~不错了~

S酱UID: 2883188

73# jjooyy
thx~你居然还没睡……其实不关gre毛事－ －aw什么的早考完了……

chxh2020UID: 2587109

71# S酱
TPO9
integrated writing

chxh2020UID: 2587109

65# S酱