S酱的作文贴－－欢迎各位砖家携板砖光临

野猫胡同UID：2453758

1009 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is a waste of time and money because customers already know what they want/ u' _$ N" F0 W4 g
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计时30分钟写了430+哈哈终于离目标近了－ －……' q! K- k$ Z7 j' d  X

  J9 N* V  \: \* L/ mAdvertisement has play a significant role in our daily life and have some(both) positive and negative influence over customers. But in my opinion, it is irrational to say(it is unilateral to draw the conclusion, 感觉和positive，negative比较呼应) that advertisement is useless and just a waste of time due to the reason that people already know what they want. My reasons are listed as follows.. r( P2 I5 F0 e
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First and foremost, compare to the assert that people already know what the want, I would like to say, actually, people do not have a(an) exact idea of their need. In most cases, people do have a vague idea of what kind of things they want, but they fail to find which could meet their need best. When I want to buy some hair shampoo, I got lost in a huge number of various brands of them. (是不是列举几个brand，增加点细节。)Then I would try to recall the memory of advertisement about the hair shampoo which I ever saw on  television or internet. Then(afterwards,) I would choose one according to the advertisement and instructions of the shampoo. Thus, the advertisement, as for me, could really help me to select the product.
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7 l0 X* W8 V  T/ y  m* d8 P1 J: vMoreover, It is advertisement that could bring new information to customers. There are always new kind of products springing out. How could they reach the customers? It is advertisement. Even though people have some ideas of what they should buy, however it is far enough for them(far from enough?) to try(attempt) new products which would meet their constant changing requirements.(they still don’t hesitate to hunting for new product to satisfy their quicksilver taste.) When girls want to buy some new clothes, they always go to some brand websites or ask for a brochure of introduction about new arrivals which would be mailed to girls' home. Then they would compare several different brands of clothes then learn about which will become most popular in this season. （这个例子感觉有点不恰当。。广告不应该都是被动接受的么~~，可以说买了本杂志，杂志上有很多广告。可以进行比较。）Without the advertisement, it is impossible for them to make such a decision in a short time(disoriented?), because they should go to every store to find what they want.. C) g3 R3 S' l: t
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Last but not least, advertisement could help people have a much more profound comprehension about their products(这句话理解上有点歧义。。。如果说是能让人们更好的了解产品的话。Give a much more comprehensive idea about the products.?), then further contribute to their decisions. It is not uncommon to see that, nowadays, the advertisement is quite delicate and elaborate, which could provide consumers a whole impression about their products.( So for my part, advertisement is necessary in people's daily life and should not be blamed as a waste of money.这段例证似乎有点弱。
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; d5 i  F# h& [From the discussion above, we could draw the conclusion safely that advertisement is not a waste of money(不是还有time。。这个可以只说一半么~？) and the reason that people already know what they want is incorrect. We should lay a correct view on advertisement they we could enjoy its benefits.

刚刚开始练作文。自己写的也稀里糊涂的。。就只能改改句子啥的。。~~~~><..今天一天不舒服。。（外加6小时的时差。。改的慢了。。抱歉啦~！！！）

S酱UID：2883188

106# 野猫胡同

谢谢修改～觉得你用词蛮犀利，于是我看来得继续背单词去了～
但是例子的话说明一下～觉得广告不一定是被动接受的～比如我喜欢的几个品牌我会密切关注它们～
而且觉得让一堆牌子把宣传册寄到家里对女生而言很正常啊～～便于及时了解喜欢的品牌的最新动向～

野猫胡同UID：2453758

其实我也就是做阅读的时候抓了几个词，然后反复在用~><..
话说~。看了你给我改的作文。。突然明白。。我我我也要解决我写到哪里算哪里的问题。。写中文的也是。都是来乱的。。。而且时间总是不够。。30分钟。。基本都写不完。。》

zhaoding1014UID：2844391

1006 特训独立 Because people are too busy doing many different things，they can do few things well
Due to the constant society development and fast rhythm of life, modern people are always busy with many things at the same time. It is believed that people could do few things as a consequence. However, I hold an opositeopposite view toward this. In my opinion, I think people could still do a good job in certain things thought , although they have to hand numerous tasks. My reason arereasons are listed as follows.



To begin with, I would like to say there is no causal relation between the quantity and quality of the things people should do(感觉是否可以换个词，do 有点不爽). Although facing a wide range of tasks, they could still clear which is more significant and which is less. So it is not uncommon for them to distinguish the initial tasks among all. Take me as an example. I am a girl who is full of vigour（感觉到了，呵呵). Besides attending several student's associations such as dancing club and languages study group, I have also participated in various part-time jobs during my university education. Though I had to handle several different tasks one day, I still attract the most importance (attract the most importance?什么意思？)on my study. Among the top students I am in study, as well as I entertain myself by the various activities in and out university(感觉有点生硬。。。). So it is irrational to conclude people could not do things well because there are so many things waiting for them（我觉得英文是直白的逻辑，这么说有点汉语思维）.

Another relevant reason to support my opinion is the ability to manage and organize things that(毕竟是立论文，语言正式些可能好吧) an individual has. In order to survive in this society and become outstanding, most people have developed the capacity of management and organization. With this kind of skills, not only could people make an elaborate schedule to organize tasks, but also they could have a full use of time. When preparing for the Olympic Games, Chinese people have taketaken great effort in building pavilions and other facilities. Undoubtedly it is a complex project consisted of myriads of different tasks, but people in China still finished the mission in time and presented one of the most successful Olympic Games to the world. According to this reflection, people still could make achievements disregard how onerous the missions they face.

Although there are still some people would argue that people would find their ability falls short of their wishes. In some extent, I admit that doing several things all together would have a positive impact on people's efficiency and quality by diffusing their energies . However, as facing such an inevitable situation, people have discovered many methods by the abundant experiences left by generations, which could prevent them the tasks from disorder.

From all the discussion above, the conclusion that people could not do things well because of too many things is unreliable. People still could overcome all the difficulties and make accomplishment by their great diligence and intelligence.
NOTE: 思路清楚，感觉语言上和句式上有点点生硬（个人观点），不过鉴于这是计时写的，已经很不错了。

1007 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To remain happy and optimistic when you fail is more important than achieving success.

No one could deny that it is inevitably to encounter frustration and failure in the way to success. In my opinion, we should remain happy and optimistic when we fail, and I think it is far more important than achieving success itself. (言简意赅！对正文段有很强的信心)


The estimate goal(estimate goal?) of our life is not chasing success, but happiness. People who pursue success isare also for the purpose to obtain happiness. Therefore, whatever we succeed or not, we should always keep a positive attitude toward life and future. (论证得很好！)When I prepared for this examination since one month ago, I had aimed for getting to get enough scores in my first exam. Unfortunately, I failed due to my lack of experience and insufficient preparation. However I still keep an optimistic view toward my failure. After the diligent learning time preparation, I felt happy at the great process I have already made on my own, and what I gained is knowledges(可数？) of my englishEnglish, promotion of my learning ability, the courage to face all the obstacles and the capacity to overcome them by actual deeds.(例子，语言，感觉都很impressive，我要是教官已经对此文有好感了！)

On the other hand, the path to success is always rugged. We should climb mountain after mountain (我又少见多怪了，SALAD请确保这样用是正确的...)before we get what we want. Therefore, in order to make it move, we must remain vigourous and positive after the frustration, which is the basis of success. It is said that every cloud have a silver light, so we should never let failure beat us down. (The citation is admirably suited)We should always keep hope in heart ( the phrase has used correctly?)and adopt ana correct attitude towards the failures. Only through
examining the failure with a positive view, could we find our flaws and discover the key lead to success. Only by facing the problems with a positive perspective, could we stand up again and get another change to defeat them.(ETS seems prefer details or certain example much more.)


Moreover, the failure we confront is also a treasure in our life. The defeat also could embellish (?I looked up MDicition, seems no such way to use it)our life, not only through joy of success, but also through bitter taste of failure. Besides, sometimes a new fortune will come along with frustration. Only have a happy mood and still keep a kin (keen?) eye on it, could we find the new scenery unfolded in front of us. Only be optimistic to life, could we unearth the truth behind it. That is whatever we are suffering at present, ; we should always hold a grateful heart to the world. No matter what will happen in the days to come, we should be vigorous and look forward to the future.

All in all, the happy mood and optimistic attitude is much more important beyond success and accomplishment. Sometimes, life is just like climbing mountain. It is not about how fast we make it or the scenery on the other side, it is just about climbing, with a happy and optimistic spirit and enjoy the sights of the mountain..



NOTE: 思路清楚，好话不谈，重点拍砖——貌似好多句子是你自己造出来的，每个我标出的句子我都在金山句库里查了，历史上还没有这种说法，我听说语言是比较讨厌创新的，不知SALAD同意否。


1008 特训小组 Has Technology made children less creative than they were in the past'

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计时写的大白话文一篇～写完发现没咋重视和过去的对比，冏～懒得改了以后慢慢改～- E% c4 D6 l1 M) U! F6 a* @! N9 }
The constant developing technology has bringbrought dramatical changes to our life, especially for our young children. Some oneSomeone holds the opinion that technology has had a negative impact on children's creativity. However from my perspective, I think technology does not merely make children less creative, but contribute to their creativity.

First and foremost, one of the most significant aspectaspects of creativity is imagination. Since imagination always stern(?) from reality, that means we can't imagine things without any base, the technology does help to develop children's ability of imagination by provide providing them more elements. For example, it is impossible for children who born in 1700 to image the spaceship and computer, but for children who live at present, such things are just existing already so they could thingthink of something out of them. Since technology has bringbrought children more material which would help them to create, it is irrational to conclude that technology does harm to children's creativity.

On the other hand, another aspect of creativity is curiosity(?费解，ETS may have no time to guess your intention). As we all know, children are often full of curiosity and can notcannot stop asking questions all the time. That is because they are curious to things around and do not know any limitation of them. They don't concern about what could come into reality and what could not. So technology could bring them a larger stage for their curiosity. For example, children who see a computer would probably wonder what is it and why it could work, then they could develop more questions and think more of such technology like computers, which would contribute to their creativity.

Last but not least, technology also providetechnology also provides our children more implement to promote their creativity. Since there are new toys which are the product of technology, such as digital pets. Digital pets could not only speak to children but also could sing and dance, which could help children to cultivate their creativity. Also could we neglect the importance of computer. With the help of computer, children could obtain more information at their early age. That could definitely broaden children's horizon and make them more creative.(扣题扣得好)

From the discussion above, we could safely draw the conclusion that technology does not recreasedecrease children's creativity. In assistance of technology, children will make more progress in their early education, especially the cultivation of creativity.


NOTE：remember the judger of ETS only has less than 1minutes to scan you essay and give the mark! You should make him feel understandable and impressive at the most obvious parts. Anyway, it is a essay of high level.
1009 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is a waste of time and money because customers already know what they want

计时30分钟写了430+哈哈终于离目标近了

Advertisement has play a significant role in our daily life and have some positive and negative influence over customers. But in my opinion, it is irrational to say that advertisement is useless and just a waste of time due to the reason that people already know what they want. My reasons are listed as follows.

First and foremost, compare as to the assert that people already know what the want, I would like to say, actually, people do not have a exact idea of their need. In most cases, people do have a vague idea of what kind of things they want, but they fail to find which could meet their need best. When I want to buy some hair shampoo, I got lost in a huge number of various brands of them. Then I would try to recall the memory of advertisement about the hair shampoo which I ever saw on  television or internet. Then I would choose one according to the advertisement and instructions of the shampoo. Thus, the advertisement, as for me, could really help me to select the product. (生活的例子，coool! )

Moreover, It is advertisement that could bring new information to customers. There are always new kinds of products spring out. How could they reach the customers? It is advertisement. Even though people have some ideas of what they should buy, however it is far enough for them to try new products which would meet their constant changing requirements. When girls want to buy some new clothes, they always go to some brand websites or ask for a brochure of introduction about new arrivals which would be mailed to girls' home. Then they would compare several different brands of clothes then learn about which will become most popular in this season. Without the advertisement, it is impossible for them to make such a decision in a short time, because they should go to every store to find what they want.(词句过于简单？)

Last but not least, advertisement could help people have a much more profound comprehesioncomprehension about their products, then further contribute to their decisions. It is not uncommon to see that（双否！）, nowadays, the advertisement is quite delicate and elabrateelaborate, which could provide consumers a whole inpressionimpression about their products. So for my part, advertisement is necessary in people's daily life and should not be blamed as a waste of money.（论证感觉有点无力，个人意见！）

From the discussion above, we could draw the conclusion safely that advertisement is not a waste of money and the reason that people already know what they want is incorrect. We should lay a correct view on advertisement they we could enjoy its benefits.


NOTE:感觉在限时状态下，写得明显没有原来精彩了，加油！感觉这题思路稍有不足！
总结：                                                                                                                       
以上四篇文章表现了Salad姐很好的写作功底，只要练习足够，一定能上28+。也请S姐以后常携板砖过来围观！）

zhaoding1014UID：2844391

貌似有点长。。。

zhaoding1014UID：2844391

修改符都不见了,您QQ名是什么,我传给你吧

S酱UID：2883188

111# zhaoding1014

U guy really got a keen eye! (haha I finally know how to spell this word correctly)
Many thanks to your hard working on my essays, I really appreciate it.
Then I will revise all of them and not fail to live up to your good job.

suting1214UID：2924575

Don't mention it. Actually, I learn a lot as well. Many of your mistakes  I often commit myself as well.

and ur QQ nick name...

S酱UID：2883188

113# suting1214

Why u change your id? I sent a message to your previous ID so maybe you haven't got it~

zcnvszwjUID：2815734

1009 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should not show their social or political views in the classroom.
No one could deny that teachers always have a profound influence over students, so people concern much about what they teach in class. Then there comes a constant debate that whether teacher should show their social or political views in the classroom. Someone argues that it is not appropriate for teacher to show personal social and political attitude in class. However, I hold an opposite view. In my opinion teachers are free to show their views in the classroom, and my reasons are as follows./ m0
First and foremost, I believe that students could learn from the social and political views of their teachers. Nowadays, our society requires students not only to have an excellent understanding of science and technology, but also to have a basic comprehension of society and politics. That means students should learn some things about the world outside their classroom. When their teachers talk of some events about social problems, it is a good chance for students to think about it then develop their own point of view towards the issues. If we do not lay any emphasize on the cultivation of social and political thinking, it is not good for our next generation to become socialized then be able to promote our society in future.
On one hand, it is not uncommon for people to hold the different views towards the same thing. One the other hand, the initial purpose that education serves is to foster and cultivate our students' skepticism. Although some one would show a great concern about that showing political or social perspectives would cause debate among teacher and students, which would make a negative impact on the class. But for my part, it is a good way for students to develop different ideas towards social events. From the debate, students could have a better comprehension about some social events and learn from the other's perspective, which would contribute to their skepticism. So it is not merely harmful but beneficial for teachers to show their social or political thinking in the classroom.4 r; ], D9 T3 u6 H! _
However, some people would argue that teachers would mislead their students by showing bias political and social views for the reason that children are still too young to distinguish the correct and incorrect viewpoints. In my opinion, it is unnecessary to worry about this kind of things. Initially it is one's freedom to talk about their ideas so it is the same with teachers. Besides children could still have their own attitude toward their teacher's speech because their teacher is not the only source they could learn about society and politics. With the advent of information era, it is not difficult to obtain things from the internet. In addition we should believe in our young generation, they could think independently and have the ability to justify things upon their own knowledges.8 P3 M* Z% Q7 Y4 P
From the discussion above, it is safe to draw the conclusion that teachers could talk about their personal attitude of political and social things. That would not merely do harm to students, but help them to learn more about the world.
1、        第一段平铺直叙，没有减分点也无加分点，建议添加恰当而不常见的若干程度副词（如dramatically, increasingly等），这样即使是平铺直叙的开头也会既出彩又全面；
2、        主体段论述稍显重复，有内容啰嗦之嫌，其实一个简单的方法是添加若干实例，这样就可以精简理论论述了。
3、        倒数第三段的开头方式不推荐，除非楼主写的时候感情确实是非常强烈且有充分理由将其表示出来；
4、        仍然有一些小错误（我也是），比如单复数不分之类的；
5、 感谢楼主的修改，很详细，祝楼主成功。

S酱UID：2883188

1011 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Sports teach people lessons about life..08.12.05

Down through the years, sports constantly play an important role in people's life. Someone play sports for the purpose of robust body, while the others play for fun. In addition, I would like to emphasis another vital point， that is sports could teach people lessons about life.

There is an old saying that persistence works miracles. we do learn a lot of philosophy about life in terms of sports, and the initial among them is persistence. That means we should struggle against difficulties and never give up. When doing sports， it is not uncommon to encounter frustration, such as still miss the shot after shooting for myriad times at the basketball court or fall down again and again when practicing the loops on the skating rink. People might feel upset and suffer from such kind of failures in sports, and it is the same with our life. There are always obstacles which prohibit us from advance, and the only way to eliminate them is to contend against this obstacles. Kobe Bryant said that:"no matter what , just do not give up. Always believe that your dream can come true" So we could discover how he become one of the greatest basketball athlete and achieve the glory. By playing sports, we could find the only way lead to success is hard working and the spirit of persistence.

What is more, through sports, could we learn the far-reaching significance of teamwork. There are a number of sports require people to work together with one heart. Case in point is that People who play soccer or basket ball should cooperate with the others to achieve success. When playing soccer, individuals would grow confidence with his team members, and sometimes one should learn to sacrifice. That is to say when your teammate get a better chance than you to shoot the ball in, one should give up the predominant and transfer the ball to his teammate. Only through this kind of sacrifice, could a team win the game. I think the ability of teamwork is vital to our daily life. People are always part of a company or other groups and organizations. In favor of the collective development，individuals,  in some cases, should think higher of the collective benefit than his own. Therefore, the spirit of cooperation from team sports could teach us, especially the young children, the way to work with the others.

Last but not least, we could learn from the true meaning of sports, that is "higher, faster and stronger", which is the slogan of  Olympic Games. Playing sports do not only serves the purpose of exercising one's body, but also exercising one's mind and heart. In order to make greater achievement, one should try their best to go beyond himself. That is really tough but only through this could we human kind make progress constantly. I think that is the reason why Japanese schools demand their little children to do early exercises in the chilly winter morning. Little children have to overcome the rigour weather by their strong will and they are bound to benefit from this kind of training in future.

From all the discussion above, we could safely draw the conclusion that sports do teach people a lot about life. We could not exist without doing sports, because it does not only strengthen our physic body, but conducts us to exceed ourselves.

lgydw610UID：2861946

每天都来看楼主的作文 不知道楼主什么时候考 从作文学到很多 谢谢

xjf1023UID：2676396

10.11 改好了

S酱UID：2883188

1115 特训独立Movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished.

Good people are being rewarded while bad people are being punished, such scenery seems to be the general ending of an American movies. When we watch movies, we all expect such kind of results in view of the value orientation which our society advocates and the moral embedded in our mind. However, due to the complexity of our real world and the purpose that movies and televisions serve, movies and televisions are not necessary to show a happy ending to the audience all the time.

In the real world, it is difficult to eliminate crime and sometimes the criminal is stil at large. If movies and televisions are always showing people that good guy and devil will be always rewarded, people would lose their guard or they would suffer from distress when they find the huge gap between the ideal and reality. If the media always show good things, it will lay a negative influence on our children. If children grow up without awareness of the dark side of world, they would not have a deep understand of the society then adjust to it. When they grow up and step into society, they will probably get themselves into troubles by holding a naive view of the society. Therefore it is unnecessary to wipe off unfavorable aspects from media such as  good people finally give out their life or the criminal is still at large.

Besides, the story of a movies should be subjected to the concept which the movie maker want to show us. So whether the good people could survive at last or not depends on the artistic effects the movies chase for. I still remember the scenery in the movie LEON that leon perished with the evil policeman and saved little Matilda. Then with the sorrow, Matilda went to Leon’s boss and we could image that she would have a tough life in future. That is the end of the movie, which bring endless suspiration to the audience. But if the movie show a happy ending to us such as Leon and Matilda successfully escaped and lived a happy life together, the artistic power of the movies would definitely has been weakened. Therefore I think the movies should not only show happy ending to people.

Moreover, television is the most important media from which people learn about the world. Thus, news should always tell the truth.  Although showing that bad people receive punishment would be an effective threaten on the potential criminal, it is not appropriate to remove the bad news from news reports. Nowadays wars have not be eliminated, which cause numerous lost of lives. Though we could hardly expect the murder could be punished, the media should not inhibit people from seeing the reality of our world.

From all above, we might reach the conclusion we should not put constriction to movies and television that only good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished. Our world is not perfect.  What we should do is acknowledge the negative aspects and teach children the realities of life.

lynn27UID：2774627