S酱的作文贴－－欢迎各位砖家携板砖光临

葛佳UID：2725332

?
你的综合作文呢？
没有看到

generalidUID：2824377

85# S酱

我看了之前你写的文章，逻辑关系的连词的比较犀利。我少少的修改一下. 结构清晰明确，应该是你一贯的风格，但是这样的题目风格想拿高分不容易啊，例子太难举了。如果你能把例子都编出个国家名字，地点，时间，具体的统计数字，再具体点的例子就会更好。

1007 特训小组独立 The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity( q$ d: J* k  p3 `, W0 q, }; L
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High energy costs are an important concern that affect our society. Since shortage of energy become more and more severe, we can not emphasize the importance of energy saving too much.（It is no much to further emphasiz **） In order to achieve that, numerous proposals have been handed out. Some people hold the opinion that the most effective way to save energy is to increase the prices of gasoline and electricity. However I think it is not a wise solution which would do little to this issue （It引导的主语从句，是不是这样比较好，It is not a wise solution to solve this issue）. In my opinion, there are some other solutions which would have a better effect.

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First and foremost, we could not underestimate the power of individuals. In order to protect our environment, everyone(all citizens,和下文的 they align) should take the responsibility to energy conservation, and they should take actions in their daily life. For example, individuals could pay more attention to the usage of domestic appliances. A survey indicates that the air-conditions consume huge amount of electricity every year. If we turn the (air condition)temperature one degree higher in summer and one degree lower in winter, our nation would save 5 percent of electricity than before. At the same time, the reduce of electricity will save people (delete) considerable money (for every family). Compared to the policy of increasing energy prices which will add to their financial burden, this method will be more economic (economical, 区分economy,economic,economical) and acceptable./ O4 X; b7 A; X
4 I  d' f& Q( p, G$ ?
On the other hand, government should play an important role in energy conservation. As we all know, in recent years, the number of privacy(private) cars has increase dramatically, creating a heavy demand for gasoline. If people in city could make more use of public transportation such as subway and bus, that will be a great help to the nation's energy conservation. To achieve this, Government should invoke their people to use public transportation, as well as they should take actual （emphathic） methods to refine the public transportation. I think with the cooperation of government and their people, this will be more feasible to save our energy than increasing(increase) energy prices .
( d6 E6 p6 y4 q7 b
0 h, s" e, C9 h8 p; T3 T4 XLast but not least, we could use renewable energy to replace non-renewable energy sources such as gasoline and coals. Compared to increase energy prices, it is a better avenue to releave energy comsuption essentially. For the reason that the solar and wind could be constantly being renewed or restored, we could make more use of this kind of energy by building solar and wind plant to produce electricity, which would be effective to save the other energy such as coal and oil.
; ~8 u- W2 B. z, v4 ^
, V3 I+ d% z+ g$ R2 y% pFrom the discussion above, it is safely to dispute the statement that increasing the prices of gasoline and electricity is the most effective way to save energy. In the favor of ourselves and our next generation, everyone should take action in energy conservation.

S酱UID：2883188

92# 葛佳
1007 TPO11 综合写作 抱歉晚了～

The author that young people read less literature than the one in the past years, and this would do harm to the reading public, culture in general and future of literature. However the speaker hold an opposite opinion against the author's statements, and she gives three points as follows.

Firstly, the speaker disagrees the author's opinion that reading less literature will reduce intellectual stimulation. That is because there are other reading materials such as science and history which could also promote student's creativity. So it is irrational to conclude that people who don't read literature will have a poor intellectual development.

Second, the speaker contradicts with the reading material that the culture has declined for the reason that less people read literature. Since the culture is always changing, she says people could learn from movies and music which are also new forms of culture.

Finally, compare to the statement that poor standard readers cause the decline of writers and reading of literature, the speaker argues that it might be the writers who should account for this. Because many writers' books are difficult to understand, there are less readers who are willing to read them.

taylor.1023UID：2713071

1007 特训小组独立 The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity

High energy costs are an important concern that affect(s) our society. Since shortage of energy become more and more severe, we can not emphasize the importance of energy saving too much. In order to achieve that, numerous proposals have been handed out. Some people hold the opinion that the most effective way to save energy is to increase the prices of gasoline and electricity. However I think it is not a wise solution which would do little to this issue. In my opinion, there are some other solutions which would have a better effect.

First and foremost, we could not underestimate the power of individuals. In order to protect our environment, everyone should take the responsibility to energy conservation, and they should take actions in their daily life. For example, individuals could pay more attention to the usage of domestic appliances. A survey indicates that the air-conditions consume huge amount of electricity every year. If we turn the temperature one degree higher in summer and one degree lower in winter, our nation would save 5 percent of electricity than before. At the same time, the reduce of electricity will save people considerable money. Compared to the policy of increasing energy prices which will add to their financial burden, this method will be more economic and acceptable.

On the other hand, government should play an important role in energy conservation. As we all know, in recent years, the number of privacy cars has increase dramatically, creating a heavy demand for gasoline. If people in city could make more use of public transportation such as subway and bus, that will be a great help to the nation's energy conservation. To achieve this, Government should invoke their(its) people to use public transportation, as well as they should take actual methods to refine the public transportation. I think with the cooperation of government and their(its) people, this will be more feasible to save our energy than increasing energy prices.

Last but not least, we could use renewable energy to replace non-renewable energy sources such as gasoline and coals. Compared to increase energy prices, it is a better avenue to releave(relieve the burden) energy comsuption essentially. For the reason that the solar and wind could be constantly being renewed or restored, we could make more use of this kind of energy by building solar and wind plant to produce electricity, which would be effective to save the other energy such as coal and oil.

From the discussion above, it is safely to dispute the statement that increasing the prices of gasoline and electricity is the most effective way to save energy. In the favor of ourselves and our next generation, everyone should take action in energy conservation.

虽然你说不太喜欢这个topic。但是还是把逻辑条理清晰的长处发挥出来了嘛。好好学习了一遍。加油噢~
还有。能收到你给我改的作文。真的很感激呢。谢谢指教啊~冒昧问句。你啥时考试哈？

S酱UID：2883188

1008 特训小组 Has Technology made children less creative than they were in the past

计时写的大白话文一篇～写完发现没咋重视和过去的对比，冏～懒得改了以后慢慢改～

The constant developing technology has bring dramatical changes to our life, especially for our young children. Some one hold the opinion that technology has had a negative impact on children's creativity. However from my perspective, I think technology does not merely make children less creative, but contribute to their creativity.

First and foremost, one of the most significant aspect of creativity is imagination. Since imagination always stern from reality, that means we can't imagine things without any base, the technology does help to develop children's ability of imagination by provide them more elements. For example, it is impossible for children who born in 1700 to image the spaceship and computer, but for children who live at present, such things are just existing already so they could thing of something out of them. Since technology has bring children more material which would help them to create, it is irrational to conclude that technology does harm to children's creativity.

On the other hand, another aspect of creativity is curiosity. As we all know, children are often full of curiosity and can not stop asking questions all the time. That is because they are curious to things around and do not know any limitation of them. They don't concern about what could come into reality and what could not. So technology could bring them a larger stage for their curiosity. For example, children who see a computer would probably wonder what is it and why it could work, then they could develop more questions and think more of such technology like computers, which would contribute to their creativity.

Last but not least, technology also provide our children more implement to promote their creativity. Since there are new toys which are the product of technology, such as digital pets. Digital pets could not only speak to children but also could sing and dance, which could help children to cultivate their creativity. Also could we neglect the importance of computer. With the help of computer, children could obtain more information at their early age. That could definitely broad children's horizon and make them more creative.

From the discussion above, we could safely draw the conclusion that technology does not recrease children's creativity. In assistance of technology, children will make more progress in their early education, especially the cultivation of creativity.

S酱UID：2883188

1009 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should not show their social or political views in the classroom.

计时30分～仍旧小混乱啊这逻辑~差一点写上400～后期稍微修改了下～为30分钟写上450奋斗！－ －

No one could deny that teachers always have a profound influence over students, so people concern much about what they teach in class. Then there comes a constant debate that whether teacher should show their social or political views in the classroom. Someone argues that it is not appropriate for teacher to show personal social and political attitude in class. However, I hold an opposite view. In my opinion teaher are free to show their views in the classroom, and my reasons are as follows.

First and foremost, I believe that students could learn from the social and political views of their teachers. Nowadays, our society requires students not only to have an excellent understanding of science and technology, but also to have a basic comprehesion of sociey and politics. That means students should learn some things about the world outside their classroom. When their teachers talk of some events about social problems, it is a good chance for students to think about it then develop their own point of view towards the issues. If we do not lay any emphasize on the cultivation of social and political thinking, it is not good for our next generation to become socialized then be able to promote our society in future.

On one hand, it is not uncommon for people to hold the different views towards the same thing. One the other hand, the initial purpose that education serves is to foster and cultivate our students' skepticsim. Although some one would show a great concern about that showing political or social perspectives would cause debate among teacher and students, which would make a negative impact on the class. But for my part, it is a good way for students to develop different ideas towards social events. From the debate, students could have a better comprehension about some social events and learn from the other's perspective, which would contribute to their skepticism. So it is not merely harmful but beneficial for teachers to show their social or political thinking in the classroom.

However, some people would argue that teachers would mislead their students by showing bias political and social views for the reason that children are still too young to distinguish the correct and incorrect viewpoints. In my opinion, it is unnecessary to worry about this kind of things. Initially it is one's freedom to talk about their ideas so it is the same with teachers. Besides children could still have their own attitude toward their teacher's speech because their teacher is not the only source they could learn about society and politics. With the advent of information era, it is not difficult to obtain things from the internet. In addition we should believe in our young generation, they could think independently and have the ability to justify things upon their own knowledges.

From the discussion above, it is safe to draw the conclusion that teachers could talk about their personal attitude of political and social things. That would not merely do harm to students, but help them to learn more about the world.

写错的单词 appropriate unnecessary young comprehension excellent thinking（不可数）

jjooyyUID：2704028

62# S酱
The speaker in the listening material believes that the story of Chevalier is accurate, which contradicts with the statement in the reading passage. The speaker proposes three point to support her statement.; a  v0 p# f6 w% j1 r8 i  X

Firstly, the speaker claims that Chevalier did have huge wealth when he was in Switzerland. And the fact that He borrowed a lot of money from Swiss merchant didn't mean he was poor which was stated as an evidence of Chevalier's lies in the reading material(这句写的有点含糊 which指代的是什么，有2种可能吧). That was because Chevalier made money from trade so it was common for a businessman to run out of cash, which could force him to borrow some money from the others.

Second, the woman said it is true that Chevalier had met and talked with Voltaire, while the reading material hold an opposite view by doubting that the facticity(好词) of their conversation record, because it was impossible to remember the exact phrases after years. However the speaker said that the Chevalier had written down all their details of conversation after their talk every time, so it was not surprisingly that the exact content of conversation could be recorded and published many years later.


Finally, the speaker disputes the statement in the reading part by showing evidence that Chevalier did made the prison-break（不要受越狱的剧名的影响，prison-break不是很地道） himself. Although（有although，下面就有转折的部分，不然不成完整的句子） the writer believed that Chevalier made up the event and he was actually freed with the help of his powerful friend in Venico. On the contrary, the speaker disagreed with that opinion as the following reasons. One is that many people who had more powerful political friends were not freed so it was not reasonable to conclude that Chevalier was rescued by his friends. Another is that a record of the prison showed the ceiling had been repaired，so it was convincing that Chevalier had broken（为什么要用完成时） the ceiling which made it need repairing.

总体来说很不错了~ 字数写的比较多，那要注意时间的问题。
综合要注意阅读和听力的内容是否清楚阐述，是否讲清楚它们各自的观点。
这么晚改，我真的没有什么理由= =

米爆爆UID：2892134

S酱姐啊、。你不写综合啊？

S酱UID：2883188

1009 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is a waste of time and money because customers already know what they want

计时30分钟写了430+哈哈终于离目标近了－ －……

Advertisement has play a significant role in our daily life and have some positive and negative influence over customers. But in my opinion, it is irrational to say that advertisement is useless and just a waste of time due to the reason that people already know what they want. My reasons are listed as follows.

First and foremost, compare to the assert that people already know what the want, I would like to say, actually, people do not have a exact idea of their need. In most cases, people do have a vague idea of what kind of things they want, but they fail to find which could meet their need best. When I want to buy some hair shampoo, I got lost in a huge number of various brands of them. Then I would try to recall the memory of advertisement about the hair shampoo which I ever saw on  television or internet. Then I would choose one according to the advertisement and instructions of the shampoo. Thus, the advertisement, as for me, could really help me to select the product.

Moreover, It is advertisement that could bring new information to customers. There are always new kind of products spring out. How could they reach the customers? It is advertisement. Even though people have some ideas of what they should buy, however it is far enough for them to try new products which would meet their constant changing requirements. When girls want to buy some new clothes, they always go to some brand websites or ask for a brochure of introduction about new arrivals which would be mailed to girls' home. Then they would compare several different brands of clothes then learn about which will become most popular in this season. Without the advertisement, it is impossible for them to make such a decision in a short time, because they should go to every store to find what they want.

Last but not least, advertisement could help people have a much more profound comprehesion about their products, then further contribute to their decisions. It is not uncommon to see that, nowadays, the advertisement is quite delicate and elabrate, which could provide consumers a whole inpression about their products. So for my part, advertisement is necessary in people's daily life and should not be blamed as a waste of money.

From the discussion above, we could draw the conclusion safely that advertisement is not a waste of money and the reason that people already know what they want is incorrect. We should lay a correct view on advertisement they we could enjoy its benefits.

葛佳UID：2725332

100# S酱


S酱 你没有改我那天的综合哦
我准备改你的， 可你还没有交

JohnnyyUID：2923505

Advertisement has play a significant role in our daily life and have some positive and negative influence over customers. But in my opinion, it is irrational to say that advertisement is useless and just a waste of time due to the reason that people already know what they want. My reasons are listed as follows.6 n! }- \% U6 g$ t

First and foremost, compareing to the assert that people already know what they want, I would like to say, actually, people do not have an exact idea of their need. In most cases, people do have a vague idea of what kind of things they want, but(逻辑不对吧，therefore) they fail to find which could meet their need. When I want to buy some hair shampoo, I got lost in a huge number of various（这两个词是不是有点重复？） brands of them. Then I would try to recall the memory of advertisement about the hair shampoo which I ever saw on  television or internet. Then I would choose the one I want according to the advertisement and instructions of the shampoo. Thus, the advertisement, as for me, could really help me to select the product.$ u4 I9 a- c# q8 d4 a

Moreover, It is advertisement which could bring new information to customers. There are always new kind of product spring out. How could they reach the customers? It is advertisement. Even though people have some idea of what they should buy, but it is far enough for them to try new product which would meet their constant changing requirement. When girls want to buy some new clothes, they always go to some brand websites or ask for a brochure of introduction about new arrivals which would be mailed to girls' home. Then they would compare several different brands of clothes then learn about what will be popular in this season. Without the advertisement, it is impossible for them to make such a decision in a short time, because they should go to every store to find what they want.这段说的不错啊，例子很详细呢
5 H+ D
Last but not least, advertisement could help people to have a much more profound comprehesion about their products, then further contribute to their decisions. It is uncommon应该是common吧
to see that, nowadays, the advertisement is quite dedicate动词吧？ and helpful, which could provide consumers a whole inpression about their products. So for my part, advertisement is necessary in people's daily life and should not be blamed as a waste of money.

ZFrom the discussion above, we could draw the conclusion safely that advertisement is not a waste of money and the reason that people already know what they want is incorrect. We should lay a correct view on advertisement they（that） we could enjoy its benefits.

结构很清楚呢，很流畅，词句也都不错。三十分能写这么多很好了。
我写的很慢，速度要怎么练呢

S酱UID：2883188

102# Johnnyy

多写多练，我现在就是练速度～～
速度一般和质量成反比，但是木办法啊考试要写多写快点～～很多东西不能深究和推敲了～～你多写简单句速度就快了～

caomiao723UID：2686630

改好啦，如有不妥，请见谅！

S酱UID：2883188

104# caomiao723

谢谢你的修改～被你改完我有种特别爽的感觉～哈哈，不过我改你的不是我不想写总结句，是我真没得写，觉得你没问题～
在我看来，本次作业你和松山都各有所长，都是值得我学习的～你的语言更好，松山论证的角度更好

不过也有点实际的问题纠结着咱，一直以来我都写很慢，因为我花很多时间思考逻辑，结果一战吃大亏了～
然后看其他人经验啥的觉得托福作文就是垒字＋语言过得去＋举例……唉……我现在是逼自己拿题目就写不咋考虑，提速度拼字数，于是质量和速度不能两全orz了～