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[a习作temp] 一篇Argument作文,烦请高手给指导~ 深表感谢 [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-1-18 00:59:51 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ARGUMENT175 - The following appeared in a letter to the school board in the town of Centerville.

"All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have complained that they are too busy to teach their teenagers to drive, some other instruction is necessary to ensure that these teenagers are safe drivers. Although there are two driving schools in Centerville, parents on a tight budget cannot afford to pay for driving instruction. Therefore an effective and mandatory program sponsored by the high school is the only solution to this serious problem."


The author thought that the only way to ensure teenagers safe drivers and prevent the accidents involving teenager drivers was asking all students to take part in mandatory driver's education sponsored by high school for the lack of money and time of the parents of the teenagers to send them to formal driving schools. However, whether this program is necessary or effective is doubtable.
For the accidents in and around Centervile involving teenage drivers, it is not sure that they were caused by the teenagers of Centervile. Perphaps these teenage dirvers were from other towns. Maybe some adults should be responsible for the accidents. Even if it was Centerville's teenagers who caused these accidents, it is not sure that it was their being unfamiliar with driving techniques that was responsible. Maybe they were already adequate drivers. And it was because they were sophisticated drivers that they were not careful during their driving, therefore causing the accidents. If these were the cases, asking Centervile's teenagers to have mandatory program will not help to solve this problem at all.
Besides, there are some problems about this program. There is no evidence to prove that such a program will make all teenagers safe drivers. Are the classes as professional as those being taught by driving school? Probably not, for the lack of professional teachers and facilities. And some teenagers might don't want to learn how to drive cars. Even if there is a need to open such classes in high school, it is not proper to ask all students to take part in it. Maybe they should let the students decide whether to take such classes or not, according to their own conditions.
In addition, it can not be said that such a program is the only way to solve this serious problem. There may be some other means to deal with it. May be the government could build cheap driving schools to teach teenagers. Then the parents who don't have enough money to send their children to the current two dear driving schools could afford to pay for driving instruction in such a school. Maybe they could forbid teenagers driving cars. Maybe they could enhance the regulation of traffic to make teenagers safer when they are driving.
To make sure that such a program will help to solve this problem, the author should prove that teenagers' inadequate driving techniques resulted in those accidents, and by being taught, their techniques will be improved to a satisfied level. Additionally, some other means which can solve this problem should also be considered.
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沙发
发表于 2011-1-18 01:34:52 |只看该作者
段间空一行

推荐lz一个系列,对于阿狗的写作有很大的帮助:
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=963476

lz加油
Because of you.

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发表于 2011-1-18 10:39:13 |只看该作者
看过您推荐的那系列文章了。感觉确实很有道理,尤其是对开头及反例中存在问题的评论。如果时间充足的话肯定会加强训练逻辑能力,而不是仅仅按套套写。只是时间有限,也只能望尘莫及了,只能尽可能注意开篇的逻辑和行文结构了。这个也不是“明白”=“会做”的。快速抽提逻辑关系是平时慢慢锻炼的。

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RE: 一篇Argument作文,烦请高手给指导~ 深表感谢 [修改]

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一篇Argument作文,烦请高手给指导~ 深表感谢
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