伶女 Daily Writing Homework

liu9046114UID：2823290

When it comes to the key to future success, a hot controversy emerges between hard-working at school and interpersonal relationship. Some people believe that success for a career is mostly based on people’s interpersonal skill for the reason that what kind opportunity you can attain to get access to success is based on human network. As I see it, however, studying hard at school can’t be ignored and the teo are not mutually exclusive. ) e4 ?' k- I$ S) \9 {1 x# I/ n; [
To begin with, there is no way around the fact that individual ability is always the essence to success. Without basic technical skills, all other effort will ultimately go down the drain. It is the first(这感觉有点不地道) thing to be an export in your field, because only being skilled can people best know how to get access to achievement. Besides, opportunity to success is rare which always offer to the most excellent person. Transcending others by hardworking is an authentic way which get people closer to the success." ^; l  Y0 }, e0 p# `5 {

! Z7 w. S. o6 y  j3 X3 M9 iWhat we should also notice is that mostly（most of）classmates are a basic resource for human network, especially the ones in your university (和后面的in school重复)who share the same field with you in school buy（but or and，感觉and更好） also in the working world. It is a real possible（real可以去掉） that the most important partner is one of your old classmates. In school, hardworking students always receive respects and trust no matter how well one’s personal skill is. Few would disagree that people will be（去掉） definitely trust a person that they admired since a student（in school）, which help establish a good relationship between partners. Also, if the partner is introduced by the old classmate, hardworking person will receive trust as well. Thus, studying hard in school contribute to the reputation which results in more excellent partners and more rare（没必要） opportunities for people’s career success.


In sum, admittedly, good relationship is important for a success career, but hardworking at school brings essential skills and（，就行）respect and trust in your field which shouldn’t be ignored.

整体结构不错，但感觉论证还是可以加强，有些用词感觉有些重复，学习啦~~

伶女UID：2797207

2011年3月5日 周六：

独立：Do you agree with the following statement? People should work quickly and risk making mistakes or should work slowly and make sure that everything is correct?

Does working more quickly at the risk of making mistakes serves better than the slower pace of working which enable to make sure that everything is correct? This statement seems to propose the compare between the importance for speed or correct of our work. As I see it, however, I agree with the notion that speed and correct can be both obtained by slower but concise working rather than the quick one.

To begin with, as is known to all, efficiency is the most significant issue in the working world. Some might argue that quick work obviously contributes to the efficient of the work to the extent that it cuts down most of the working time. Although this argument seems to be a considerable credent, in fact, correcting mistake cost much more time than that have been saved in such a rapid speed, while quick work fairy rises the opportunities that mistakes happens. But with slower pace of work, even if there is a mistake, it can be correct soon for the reason that slow pace allows our brain to remember every process, which make it possible to find out which process is wrong. As the portion of work that have done in limited time, therefore, quick work with risk of mistakes definitely serves lower efficiency.

Besides, work slower is good for people’s mood and emotion in the working place. In the modern rapidly changing world, slowing down the pace helps people survive; otherwise, bad mood emerges such as fret and anxiety which leads to more mistakes. As some people consist to try to catch up with the advancing world even though they understand that they can’t achieve, the whole process used up their energy and bad mood like fret and anxiety emerges accompanied with fatigue, which results to negative impact both mentally and physically. On the contrary, slower work-pace enable people perfectly accomplish their assignment in which sense of satisfaction and achievement comes. Thus, slower work-pace benefits to people’s own health and further motivation for job.

In sum, I prefer to work in a slow pace to make sure everything is correct, which is more efficient compared to the time-consuming correcting work results in the mistakes make by quick work, as well as the positive attitude the slow pace of work brings about.

candis712UID：2824089

3.5 独立修改

feifeionlyUID：2778967

真的很抱歉，这两天人有些不舒服，没有上网，作业来迟了！！！

伶女UID：2797207

2011年3月8日 周二：. q, j0 t5 k" W( Y1 S  c: c0 I
独立：

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? 团队合作中，不能接受批评的人不会成功的

As it is known to all teamwork is very important in today’s working world, in which people from different fields attain the same goal with cooperation. Conflicts in such attaining process are unavoidable, which few would disagree. Someone tend to accept other’s criticism, while others don’t. Whether the latter kind of people is able to success has triggered a hot controversy. As I see it, on balance, I agree with the notion that people who don’t accept others’ opinions are less possible to success for several reasons as follows.

For one thing, different people have different perspectives to one problem, especially when each of them comes from different discipline. Most of the time, one person is only able to think from one aspect or a few aspects, which hardly forms an overall consideration, the key to the best solution. But aggregation of all members’ opinion enables the possibility for the team to provide the overall consideration, and that’s why a team exists. According to this, unless the person is export in all fields, which is impossible to achieve, the solution or plan he or she finally works out could not be perfect. As a result, clinging to one’s own opinion and ignoring others’ lead to less possibility for success of one person as well as a team.

Besides, people should take positive and affirmative attitude towards criticism. Criticism is not always correct. But regardless of its accuracy, it makes people reevaluate themselves and their solutions, which benefit to the improvement in both. Correct criticism allows people to make up their fault, provides better solution, reminds them the negligence in the process which probably won’t happen again; incorrect criticism enable people reevaluate their process to make it even more perfect, in the mean time the solution becomes more persuasive which won trust and respect from other people in the team. Obviously, as the beneficiary of other’s criticism, the realization of how important to accept other people’s opinion will contribute to later performance in work and study, probably resulting to a successful person.

As a whole, other’s criticism is very important because it provides suggestions from a new perspective that one never thinks about and makes people reevaluate themselves to perfect their solutions even though the criticism is wrong. Therefore, I strongly agree with the notion that one that never accept others’ opinion in a group doesn’t tend to success in the future.

beangtUID：2691375

3.8独立修改
不好意思有点晚了

As it is known to all, teamwork is very important in today’s working world, in which people from different fields attain (pursue) the same goal with cooperation. Conflicts in such attaining process are unavoidable, which few would disagree. Someone tend to accept other’s criticism, while others don’t. Whether the latter kind of people is able to success has triggered a hot controversy. As I see it, on balance, I agree with the notion that people who don’t accept others’ opinions are less possible to success for several reasons as follows.+ Z1 ^( n! z: S( K$ q; ]( m

3 s, V* k( D4 W7 \% G; A2 [For one thing, different people have different perspectives to one problem, especially when each of them comes from different discipline (majors?). Most of the time, one person is only able to think from one aspect or a few aspects, which hardly forms an overall consideration (perspective), the key to the best solution. But aggregation of all members’ opinion enables the possibility for the team to provide (conclude/synthesize) the overall consideration, and that’s why a team exists. According to this, unless the person is export in all fields, which is impossible to achieve, the solution or plan he or she finally works out could not be perfect. As a result, clinging to one’s own opinion and ignoring others’ lead to less possibility for success of one person as well as a team.
我觉得这一段和主题不是特别贴切，只是说了团队的重要性，重点应该换到为什么不接受批评的人不行吧。

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Besides, people should take positive and affirmative attitude towards criticism. Criticism is not always correct. But (去掉吧？有点突兀) regardless of its accuracy, it makes people reevaluate themselves and their solutions, which benefit to the improvement in both. Correct criticism allows people to make up their fault, provides better solution, reminds them (of) the negligence in the process which probably won’t happen again; incorrect criticism enable people reevaluate their process to make it even more perfect (perfect不能加比较级吧), in the mean time the solution becomes more persuasive which won trust and respect from other people in the team. Obviously, as the beneficiary of other’s criticism, the realization of how important to accept other people’s opinion will contribute to later performance in work and study, probably resulting to a successful person.
  E3 _0 `& Y. ~8 w

5 v9 a7 N5 o$ W( |As a whole, other’s criticism is very important because it provides suggestions from a new perspective that one never thinks about and makes people reevaluate themselves to perfect their solutions even though the criticism is wrong. Therefore, I strongly agree with the notion that one that never accept others’ opinion in a group doesn’t tend to success in the future.

我觉得中间两段的前半部分和主题都不是特别的靠，语言上有些词需要注意一下。继续加油!~

feifeionlyUID：2778967

3月8日独立

伶女UID：2797207

2011年3月9日 周三：独立：3 c* d1 A& T0 O% V
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?  Teacher should or not talking their social or political views to student in the class.

Should teachers talk about their social or political views to students in the class? This raises various issues on morality, responsibility, liberal freedom and beliefs. On balance, I strongly agree with the notion that it is not appropriate to advocate personal opinions towards social and political problems or events for teachers in the classes.

To begin with, what students should learn in the class are factors, figures and technical skills, as object truth of the world. Personal opinions, conversely, are too subjective that shouldn’t be involved in the class, regardless of what the opinion is about. Talking about personal social, political views or even about explanation for life and career is not what teachers are supposed to do. Furthermore, political and social viewpoints are about the world we live in and the government we trust in, which are absolutely the key ingredient of people’s belief that have impact in one’s whole life. To influence students’ life beliefs or even to make decision for their beliefs is far beyond teachers’ limitation of their responsibilities.

Besides, every person is free to choose their beliefs, especially for students who are developing their own value systems who are fairly easy to be influenced by others. And to the teachers that they admire and always listen to, they are definitely unable to resist any personal opinion no matter it is right or wrong because they are too young to distinguish. Thus it is unacceptable and unfair morally and ethically that teachers preach those personal views on policy and society that affects students’ beliefs all life long. Instead, students should be encouraged to listen to many others opinions. Although one person’s viewpoint is always impartial, while different people have different perspectives, aggregation of those opinions will help students to think deeper about a problem resulting in a independent thinking mode in students mind which contributes to growing up to a success adult. And that’s exactly the teachers’ duty towards students.

To sum up, advocating personal viewpoints about political or social problems is morally and ethically unacceptable for the reason that students have freedom to choose their beliefs especially they are developing their own value system and teachers have duty to help students learn about independent thinking instead of instilling them their opinion.

葵葵酱UID：2989172

68# 伶女

伶女UID：2797207

2011年3月10日 周四：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term

When it comes to people’s career decision, a hot controversy emerges: should young people try different jobs before their careers in the long term? This argument raises various issues about life, career, choice and decision. On balance, I tend to agree with the notion that young people should take different jobs before life- long career. My personal reasons are presented as follows. First, a life-long career is significant everyone because it can decide one’s future including marriage, dwelling, financial awards, living standard, life-style, retire life and even the education his or her children received. The choice must be made seriously instead of quick decision. Various work experience provide people an overall perspective to determine which career is worthwhile and suits the person the best. And this self-experience is the most impressive and persuasive which help you decide by yourself based on your own interests and talents that only yourself know the best, rather than the ones that parents or teachers told you and the decision that they made for you. Only if people were free and able to choose their careers, could the decision survive in the long run.

Besides, only with the experience of many other jobs, people will know their true talents and interested and more importantly, they will devote themselves into the career. As babies always are curious about all things around, young people that first step into the working world always want to try new things, which is spring from human nature. And this is understandable because they are not familiar with this world and do not know what will suit them, either. After they tried many kinds of jobs, their interest and talent emerges ultimately; but if their first job is a life-long plan, suspicious will comes out: what other works look like and what if I work in another field, will I be happier? Those questions fulfill their minds which results in the lack of concentration on the current work for the reason that they clearly know there will be no answer unless they have a try. Conversely, after they convince their true interest upon the reflection of all formal working experience, those people would be excellent and delicate clerks at the workplace because it is the career they want to pursue.

In sum, taking a long term career without any other working experience is too arbitrary because only when young people understand where their true interest and talent is based on various experience, can they make the right decision and devote to their work field, which contribute to a successful working adult.

葵葵酱UID：2989172

谢谢你的修改～

dawn_horizon1UID：2869977

The long term job is crucial for people’s life which should be decide seriously with an overall consideration, instead of quick decision

Life is about experience, once people decide to stay in a life long career, they must lose sth.（something） The advise is experience more before being stable, (? My advise is that experience…..)which also contribute to your devotion to the career because you would not want to try new things as well as before.

When it comes to people’s career decision, a hot controversy emerges: should young people try different jobs before their careers in the long term? This argument raises various issues about life, career, choice and decision. On balance, I tend to agree with the notion that young people should take different jobs before life- long career. My personal reasons are presented as follows.

First, a life-long career is significant (to ) everyone because it can decide one’s future including marriage, dwelling, financial awards, living standard, life-style, retiring life and even the education his or her children received. The choice must be made seriously instead of quick decision. Various work experience provide people an overall perspective to determine which career is worthwhile and suits the person the best. And this self-experience is the most impressive and persuasive which (can ) help you decide by yourself based on your own interests and talents that only yourself know the best,（这句话略显冗长，我感觉把修饰talents的那个从句去掉更好） rather than the ones that parents or teachers told you and the decision that they made for you. Only if （only when） people were free and able to choose their careers, could the decision survive in the long run.

Besides, only with the experience of many other jobs, people will know their true talents and interested (这句不懂。。。)and more importantly, they will devote themselves into the career. As babies always are curious about all things around, young people that first step into the working world always want to try new things, which is spring from human nature. And this is understandable because they are not familiar with this world and do not know what will suit them, either. After they tried many kinds of jobs, their interest and talent emerges ultimately; but if their first job is a life-long plan, suspicious will comes out: what other works look like and what if I work in another field, will I be happier? Those questions fulfill their minds which results in the lack of concentration on the current work for the reason that they clearly know there will be no answer unless they have a try. Conversely, after they convince their true interest upon the reflection of all formal working experience, (这句我也不懂。。。) those people would be excellent and delicate clerks at the workplace because it is the career they want to pursue.

In sum, taking a long term career without any other working experience is too arbitrary because only when young people understand where their true interest and talent is based on various experience, can they make the right decision and devote to their work field, which contribute to a successful working adult.

1、我认为你前三段可以并成一段并进行缩减，因为文章重点在于你的原因部分
2、有些句子不太通顺，不太能读懂，不过也有本人从句理解能力低的因素。。但是我认为如果你在分句方面注重一点，文章会更流畅
3、有些minor语法错误需要注意
4、我看到你的资料显示你所在地市武汉，哈哈，我是武汉人，有机会多交流哦~~~

伶女UID：2797207

when it comes to.....之前都是随便写的提纲。。。。sorry我忘记删掉了。。。。。。。。。
我是武汉人，呵呵 72# dawn_horizon1

伶女UID：2797207

2011年3月11日 周五：
  y* u- Y: N8 a& y: L8 Z" K独立：
! m4 a8 A: s. n2 Q5 x- @Do you agree with the following statement? In order to be more financially responsible when we are adults, we should learn how to manage money at a young age.

Should young people learn how to manage their money because it will contribute to their financial responsibilities as they grow into adults? As far as I concerned, although financial problems doesn’t occupy that much in young people’s life, compared to adults, they still should pay attention to the means of management their money which leads to a mature adult successes in financial management.

For one thing, there is a huge negative impact that insufficient money management in youth has on individual financial responsibilities of adults. Consider, for example, good consume habit necessitates to be cultivate since youth; otherwise it would be a life-long problem. Some young people tend to purchase for anything they interest in as soon as they see it regardless of their tight budget of that month which probably results in insufficient money for the basic living expense. Although some might argue that when they grow up into working adults with their own financial awards the situation will change, once the day comes their consume habits will also make them live a hard life for the reason that this habit has been a part of their life and their personality which is not able to change easily. Like drags or cigarette, people cannot get rid of them that once they addict into.

Conversely, the capability to deal with money as young contributes to adults’ life and even help people success in settling financial problems in the future. It is obvious that as young people, their financial problem is far less complicated than adults’ since they have not been independent from their parents on finance. Thus, the only source of money is mostly their parents and the expense is utterly on basic food or cloth, so that their budget is relatively easier to control and manage. Nevertheless, this significant money management experience best prepare those young people for the complex financial problems that they will encounter in the future. Those young people who are used to manage their money already have earlier realization about the importance to be responsible and thoughtful on their budget and financial awards, which also prevent occurrence of serious financial problems.

To sum up, I strongly recommend that the cultivation on young people’s ability of money management is crucial for their future financial responsibilities as adults.

伶女UID：2797207

2011年3月12日 周六：

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独立：
$ E9 v' v; F) Y0 \9 {& t  r( QDo you agree with the following statement? 家长该不该奖励小孩钱当小孩拿到高分

Is that appropriate for parents to provide financial awards to their children in order to encourage them for high scores on study? Although it is appeared to be a effective way to cater children’s need and more importantly to stimulate their hardworking in school, as far as I concerned, this way is unacceptable for its negative impact on their attitude towards study and their own value system.

For one thing, working hard in school for high scores is the basic duty of students, regardless any kinds of rewards such us gift and money. Study is only for themselves and children must take a positive and correct attitude towards study because it is crucial for development in their whole life. Of course most of children are too young to realize this, thus parents should instill in them this principle instead of twisting it by financial awards which misleads an understanding for the purpose of the study. And actually what is the most important is the knowledge children learned in this process as well as the sense of achievement in high scores or even the praise from parents they receive ultimately, which most effectively encourage them continuing to study rather than any other material awards.

Besides, study for financial awards since the beginning results in an unbalanced value system that every effort is for financial profit. Childhood is absolutely a very important phase for the basic development of people’s own value system. Once the principle of money occupies one’s mind as a child, it will be a life-long task to wipe it out, because the latter ethic and value standards establish on this foundation which will blast if others undermine the foundation. Thus, although money is a important issue in people’s life, to avoid the influence that profit principle might bring about on children is indispensable.

In sum, I strongly recommend that parents shouldn’t encourage children to word hard by financial awards which results is a misunderstanding of the sustainable of study and an unbalanced value system for their whole life.