Daily Writing-ncnys (欢迎修改，有砖必复)

ncnysUID: 2347325

3.2   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

Which is a more important element to consider when choosing a job, vacation time or salary? In my opinion, I'd rather have a job with more vacation time but lower salary. Two reasons are indicated as follows.

First, a job with more vacation time could offer us a healthier life style. As well known, jobs with higher salary usually require much more working hours and may lead to higher working pressure, which is so harmful to the health conditions of workers. Lisa, one of my best friends, works in a big international corporation. She earns a lot, but she has to pay a lot too. She needs to work from 8:00AM to 8:00PM almost every week day, and still often has to spend all the weekend working. She never ate breakfast for more than a year, and she felt so tired every day. Even though sometimes she finally got a vacation, she usually just stayed at home and slept for days to retain her energy back work. "Just give me a break!" Lisa always says. As far as I know, Lisa is not an exception. Many people have to work so many hours to earn a higher salary, however, they suffer from diverse diseases because of stressful work. Just like Lisa, a large proportion of people having a high salary usually do not have enough time to have meals on time. As a result, many of them have got stomach diseases. What is even worse, a lot of people who have a heavy working load usually are so stressful that they even have to worry about working problems after work, which could easily make them stress out and even suffer from insomnia. In this case, even though they earn more, their limited time and poor health conditions do not allow them to enjoy the money they earn. On the country, if you get a job with lower salary but more vacation time, you can get more time to relax and keep healthy, which would be a treasure in your whole life time.

What is more, a job with more vacation time will enable us more time to be with our family and friends. Beside working, there are so many things worthy for our time and efforts, for example, family and friends. I always consider family and friends huge treasure in one's life. Your happiness could be doubled and your sorrows could be halved if they are shared with your family and friends. If one gets a job with more vacation time, he/she would have more time to hang out with his/her family and friends. Although he/she may not have enough money to enjoy a trip in Swiss with his/her family and friends, a BBQ get-together at the backyard could be fun too. On the countary, if one always snubs his/her family and friends because of work, he/she might still feel sad and lonely even if he/she is a millionaire. I could always see the news on TV or newspapers that a guy works so hard that he seldom has time to be with his wife, and finally they get estranged and divorced. "Had I a chance to start over", many of them said, "I would definitely spend more time with my wife and make her happy." Therefore, a job with more vacation time could benefit us with closer relationship with our family and friends.

To sum up, I really believe that a job with more vacation time but a lower pay is much better.

ncnysUID: 2347325

up

xielijuan36UID: 2995990

Which is a more important element to consider when choosing a job, vacation time or salary? In my opinion, I'd rather have a job with more vacation time but lower salary. Two reasons are indicated as follows.
       First, a job with more vacation time could offer us a healthier life style. As well known, jobs with higher salary usually require much more working hours and may lead to higher working pressure, which is so harmful to the health conditions of workers. Lisa, one of my best friends, works in a big international corporation. She earns a lot, but she has to pay a lot too. She needs to work from 8:00AM to 8:00PM almost every week day, and still often has to spend all the weekend working. She never ate breakfast for more than a year, and she felt so tired every day. Even though sometimes she finally got a vacation, she usually just stayed at home and slept for days to regain
her energy back work. "Just give me a break!" Lisa always says. As far as I know, Lisa is not an exception. Many people have to work so many hours to earn a higher salary, however, they suffer from diverse diseases because of stressful work. Just like Lisa, a large proportion of people having a high salary usually do not have enough time to have meals on time. As a result, many of them have got stomach diseases. What is even worse, a lot of people who have a heavy working load usually are so stressful that they even have to worry about working problems after work, which could easily make them stress out and even suffer from insomnia. In this case, even though they earn more, their limited time and poor health conditions do not allow them to enjoy the money they earn. On the contrary, if you get a job with lower salary but more vacation time, you can get more time to relax and keep healthy, which would be a treasure in your whole life time.

What is more, a job with more vacation time will enable us to spend more time being with our family and friends. Beside working, there are so many things worthy for our time and efforts, for example, family and friends. I always consider family and friends huge treasure in one's life. Your happiness could be doubled and your sorrows could be halved if they are shared with your family and friends. If one gets a job with more vacation time, he/she would have more time to hang out with his/her family and friends. Although he/she may not have enough money to enjoy a trip in Swiss with his/her family and friends, a BBQ get-together at the backyard could be fun too. On the countary, if one always snubs his/her family and friends because of work, he/she might still feel sad and lonely even if he/she is a millionaire. I could always see the news on TV or newspapers that a guy works so hard that he seldom has time to be with his wife, and finally they get estranged and divorced. "Had I a chance to start over", many of them said, "I would definitely spend more time with my wife and make her happy." Therefore, a job with more vacation time could benefit us with closer relationship with our family and friends.

To sum up, I really believe that a job with more vacation time but a lower pay is much better.


结构很清晰，表达明确，开头结尾都很简洁，就是中间写的很多，好像在写issue？

xielijuan36UID: 2995990

哎呀，上面没显示出来，写的挺好的就改了这么两个地方
she usually just stayed at home and slept for days to regain her energy back work.
What is more, a job with more vacation time will enable us to spend more time being with our family and friends.

feifeionlyUID: 2778967

3.2   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.! `+

f# {4 i( j- q, P6 H: M+ ]  M1 k' ?1 kWhich is a more important element to consider when choosing a job, vacation time or salary? In my opinion, I'd rather have a job with more vacation time but lower salary. Two reasons are indicated as follows.

  T* X: X8 ]/ r
First, a job with more vacation time could offer us a healthier life style. As well known, jobs with higher salary usually require much more working hours and may lead to higher working pressure, which is so harmful to the health conditions of workers. Lisa, one of my best friends, works in a big international corporation. She earns a lot, but she has to pay a lot too. She needs to work from 8:00AM to 8:00PM almost every week day, and still often has to spend all the weekend working. She never ate breakfast for more than a year, and she felt so tired every day. Even though sometimes she finally got a vacation, she usually just stayed at home and slept for days to retain her energy back work. "Just give me a break!" Lisa always says. As far as I know, Lisa is not an exception. Many people have to work so many hours to earn a higher salary, however, they suffer from diverse diseases because of stressful work. Just like Lisa, a large proportion of people having a high salary usually do not have enough time to have meals on time. As a result, many of them have got stomach diseases. What is even worse, a lot of people who have a heavy working load usually are so stressful that they even have to worry about working problems after work, which could easily make them stress out and even suffer from insomnia. In this case, even though they earn more, their limited time and poor health conditions do not allow them to enjoy the money they earn. On the country, if you get a job with lower salary but more vacation time, you can get more time to relax and keep healthy, which would be a treasure in your whole life time.


用红线标注的地方感觉太长，用了大量事实来说明pressure，但如果精简一下不必事以巨细，只要把重点放在high pressure和她的feeling上会不会更好。用蓝色标注的内容可不可以和前面分开，另外形成一个论点，既从健康的角度分析高薪带来的问题。


What is more, a job with more vacation time will enable us more time to be with our family and friends. Beside working, there are so many things worthy for our time and efforts, for example, family and friends. I always consider family and friends huge treasure in one's life. Your happiness could be doubled and your sorrows could be halved if they are shared with your family and friends. If one gets a job with more vacation time, he/she would have more time to hang out with his/her family and friends. Although he/she may not have enough money to enjoy a trip in Swiss with his/her（delete）
family and friends, a BBQ get-together at the backyard could be fun too. On the countary（countrary）, if one always snubs his/her family and friends because of work, he/she might still feel sad and lonely even if he/she is a millionaire. I could always see the news on TV or newspapers that a guy works so hard that he seldom has time to be with his wife, and finally they get estranged and divorced. "Had I a chance to start over", many of them said, "I would definitely spend more time with my wife and make her happy." Therefore, a job with more vacation time could benefit us with closer relationship with our family and friends.

W* y
To sum up, I really believe that a job with more vacation time but a lower pay is much better.结尾有些简要，可以再精述下论点。

文字流畅，例证很丰富！

ncnysUID: 2347325

3.3    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? ”"The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries'.

What would be the best way to improve education quality? In my opinion, there is nothing more effective than increasing teachers' wages. Two reasons are indicated as follows.

First, teachers could focus more on teaching if their salary is increased, thus higher quality of education. As well known, teachers are the major souls and direct executants in education. Therefore, the teaching quality of teachers is the most significant element in education. To improve the quality of education requires more passions and concentrations of teachers in their work. Just imagine, would you be able to focus on your work if your smart kids could not get into MIT just because you cannot afford his/her tuition, or you have to take care with your sick parents because you do not have enough money to hire a nanny. Would you be thinking of changing a job? Or at least find an additional part-time work? Or even rush work? On the contrary, would you feel more passionate in work if you were given a raise. I think to increase the salary is one of the most effective ways to encourage the working enthusiasm of teachers and to allow more time and energy of teachers in their teaching work physically and mentally. Once the teachers spend more time thinking about how to make their class more vivid and interesting, or trying to help the slow-learners in class, the quality of education will be largely improved, and a lot more students would be benefitted from it.

Furthermore, more talented people could choose teacher as their profession if the salary of teachers is improved. Undoubtedly, salary has become one of the most important factors to consider when people are hunting jobs. It has been reported in a newspaper survey that salary is the top element to consider to select a job for 90% interviewees, especially those experts with lots of working experience. As far as I know, low salary is right the reason why many professionals do not want to be teachers. Y, one of my best friends, who is a EE major mentions that most of his classmates get into industry or start their own business instead of becoming teachers after they graduate, because they can earn much more as electrical engineers or programmers. I've also witnessed that many top universities successfully recruit academic experts by offering them decent salary. Therefore, I do believe that many more qualified people could be attracted if they could earn more as teachers.

Admittedly, there are other ways that would also be effective in improving education quality. For example, closer communication between teachers and parents, more investment in educational resources, and so forth. However, considering the leading and vital roles of teachers in education, improving the teaching quality of teachers would always the best way. To sum up, I do agree that to increase teachers' income is the best way to improve education quality.

粉红色为修改部分。

Go2011GoUID: 3006241

revision 3.3revision.doc (30.5 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2011-3-4 13:23:40 上传

下载次数: 2

sun3mayUID: 2574771

3.3    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? ”"The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries'.

What would be the best way to improve education quality? In my opinion, there is nothing more effective than increasing teachers' wages. Two reasons are indicated as follows.$ ~9 {2 E$ @; D4 ~( F3 s# W

First, teachers could focus more on teaching if their salary is increased, thus higher quality of education（thus之后是不是不能接单词？）. As well known, teachers are the major souls and direct executants in education. Therefore, the teaching quality of teachers is the most significant element in education. To improve the quality of education requires more passions and concentrations of teachers in their work. Just imagine, would you be able to focus on your work if your smart kids could not get into MIT just because you cannot afford his/her tuition, or you have to take care with your sick parents because you do not have enough money to hire a nanny. Would you be thinking of changing a job? Or at least find an additional part-time work? Or even rush work? On the contrary, would you feel more passionate in work if you were given a raise. I think to increase the salary is one of the most effective ways to encourage the working enthusiasm of teachers and to allow more time and energy of teachers in their teaching work physically and mentally. Once the teachers spend more time thinking about how to make their class more vivid and interesting, or （建议改成and）trying to help the slow-learners in class, the quality of education will be largely improved, and a lot more students would be benefitted from it（建议该that，代指上述老师所做的努力）. ! g: L0 F

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Furthermore, more talented people could choose teacher as their profession if the salary of teachers is improved. Undoubtedly, salary has become one of the most important factors to consider when people are hunting jobs. It has been reported in a newspaper survey that salary is the top element to consider to select a job for 90% interviewees, especially those experts with lots of working experience. As far as I know, low salary is right the reason why many professionals do not want to be teachers. Y, one of my best friends, who is a EE major mentions that most of his classmates get into industry or start their own business instead of becoming teachers after they graduate, because they can earn much more as electrical engineers or programmers. I've also witnessed that many top universities successfully recruit academic experts by offering them decent salary. Therefore, I do believe that many more qualified people could be attracted if they could earn more as teachers.（这段写的很好，观点很新颖）

p- h! U5 M/ W
Admittedly, there are other ways that would also be effective in improving education quality. For example, closer communication between teachers and parents, more investment in educational resources, and so forth. However, considering the leading and vital roles of teachers in education, improving the teaching quality of teachers would always the best way. To sum up, I do agree that to increase teachers' income is the best way to improve education quality.% `# f6 @1 b/ u
+ K+ a
( a1 M9 g! E+ D) h+ R
粉红色为修改部分。

整体来说，写的不错，不过长句多了点，建议和短句穿插，这样也可以增加文章的可读性。有什么改的不对的再交流哈！
一起加油！