托福习作-20110311

Rina9311UID: 2986898

请多多指正！！！
综合写作
The lecture talks about research revealed that the painting of women is truly painted by Rembrandt. He says that the reasons stayed in the passage were inaccurate when compared to what showed by the exam actually.
First, the painting was original painted 100 years before which render the dressing way differently. This directly contradicts what he passage indicates.

Second, the light and shadow do reflect Rambrandt style. This was another part where exam contradicted the reasons stayed by passage.

Thirdly, the painting was on one piece original and compacted by pieces to strong it. And one piece of the wood was from the same tree with the wood of one painting of Rambrandt. This strongly approve that this painting was indeed painted by Rambrandt.

独立写作—维护老朋友比交新朋友重要
When it comes to choose to keep old friends or make new friends, nevertheless, in my part, I prefer to keep old friends than make new friends as my inclination. My arguments for this point are listed as follow.

One of the primary reason is that the old friends more reliable which can help you take over some emergency situation. For example, one day I have an accident and was sent to the hospital, at that moment I only remembered my 5 years friend Hedda who lived nearby, and then called her come up to take care all the other stuff. I did appreciate her help during that down time of my life. Now we are the best friends for almost 8 years.
Another reason why I consider old friends more important than new friends is that the deep trust between old friends can help you develop your business. Like my husband, his friends mostly work for him or with him more than ten years. One of his oldest friend Peter has worked with him since 1982, helps him review all the presentations and doing research. Thus my husband says that without the help from Peter he won’t be success as now. Old friends like the fingers of your hands and arms of your body which help you be a giant.
Admittedly, new friends also can help you in some way and you do can have fun together. As new friends can give you a new knowledge or give you a new direction of thinking. By the same taken, however, keeping old friends is more important than making new friends.

mylionstarsUID: 3021941

楼主做的是哪一套题呢？ 这样综合写作很难改啊。

cacovilUID: 3028414

When it comes to choose to keep old friends or make new friends, nevertheless, in my part, I prefer to keep old friends than make new friends as my inclination. My arguments for this point are listed as follow.（nevertheless前面没有论述就直接转折了，有点小别扭,应该加个和你对立的观点比较好，比如说Most people be found of making new friends，nevertheless, I prefer...）

One of the primary reason is that the old friends more reliable which can help you take over some emergency situation. For example, one day I have（had） an accident and was sent to the hospital, at that moment I only remembered my 5 years friend Hedda who lived nearby, and then called her come up to take care all the other stuff. I did appreciate her help during that down time of my life. Now we are the best friends for almost 8 years."

Another reason why I consider old friends more important than new friends is that the deep trust between old friends can help you develop your business. Like my husband, his friends mostly work for him or with him more than ten years. One of his oldest friend Peter has worked with him since 1982, helps him review all the presentations and doing research. Thus my husband says that without the help from Peter he won’t be success as now. Old friends like the fingers of your hands and （+the） arms of your body which help you be a giant.

Admittedly, new friends also can help you in some way and you do（去掉do） can have fun together. As new friends can give you a new knowledge or give you a new direction of thinking. By the same taken, however, keeping old friends is more important than making new friends.（结尾段把前两段的观点再简要总结一遍比较好。）

括号里是改正的，字数少了点，起码要300字，简单词用的多了些...其实我也写不到300字，泪...不过看您写的挺顺的，思路挺清晰的~
那个，可能评价的比较简单，见谅哈~

Rina9311UID: 2986898

多谢。俺争取在考试前出师。