champ_gz的作文帖

champ_gzUID: 3086254

5.23独立
TOPIC:Do you think thatyoung people should take several different kinds of job before they take acareer in a long term？

        There has some adolescences who changes job frequently ,which maybe increase income by this way .it is imperative that make money for the youths when they start to work ,therefore they do not mind change jobs again and again ,even in a short period.
    Numerous of research found that youths who often change jobs tend to more experience than others who stay in same company, it can broader her/she horizon through the social net work and different environment of each company, but it is not the major spirit which can help youth to be a successful people.
    An unique instance of people who changes jobs frequently ,he had changed his job six times since he graduated for high school .he changed his first job cause of he did not know how to get along with each other , especially leader . for this reason he change two jobs until the third, he found out the real reason for himself and he started to learn how can get along with colleagues .at this time ,there are lots of colleagues willing to make friend with him and he could focus on working and them ,he found what he wants and what he want to be. hence he try to find a job which can reach this goal ,and he change to the sixth job at a right times and keep on working at that company for a long time, which can aid him close to target.
    In term of that ,it is not hard to figure out that youths should take a long period at the same job and decide what they want to be ,and them, they can change variety of job to find out what is suit for the target and match their desire. that is the best way to become a success person.

champ_gzUID: 3086254

5.23综合
TPO 12

  The lecture use three point which contrary to the reading passage. Firstly, the lecture mention that Austen's family gave permission to use the portrait after sixty-five years since she dead .it is hard to remember the real imagine of her face for such a long time, the memory is influence by variety of things and miss most of truth of her face.
  Secondly the sketch which was recognized as Austen's face is mostly not the real face of her. Because the generation of her also can be draw by painter, so it maybe the sketches of her offspring, for this reason ,all the detail of those sketches can not reflect the real face of her.
  Thirdly ,the painting of Austen was sale in her twenty-seven years old by wiliam lag in London ,she was not a teenage at that time. who printed the painting in canvasses because of the style has been attributed to Humphrey.

keaishuUID: 2213233

不清楚你的综合写的是tpo多少的。。

hcp4715UID: 2697633

1# champ_gz 楼主继续努力！
对作文修改意见在文档中给出。

白猫猫UID: 3039408

Topic you think that young people should take several different kinds of job before they take career in a long term？

        There has（has 改为are） some adolescences who changes job frequently ,which maybe increase income by this way .it is imperative that make money for the youths when they start to work (这句话的意思是不是对于青少年来说挣钱很紧迫，会不会改成it is imperative to make money for the youths),therefore they do not mind change jobs again and again ,even in a short period.（换工作为什么可以增加收入呢？可以再解释清楚一点）

    Numerous of research found that youths who often change jobs tend to more experience （改experienced） than others who stay in （the）same company, it can broader her/she horizon through the social net work and different environment of each company, but it is not the major spirit which can help youth to be a successful people.

    An unique instance of people who changes jobs frequently ,he had changed his job six times since he graduated for (for 改from)high school .he changed his first job cause of he did not know how to get along with each other , especially （the）leader . for this reason he change two jobs until the third (one), he found out the real reason for himself (for himself 去掉可不可以) and he started to learn how can (can 改为 to) get along with colleagues .at this time ,there are lots of colleagues willing to make friend with him and he could focus on working and them（这句话不是很明白，是集中精力工作，那后面的them 是什么呢？是不是and then?） ,he found what he wants and what he want to be. hence he try to find a job which can reach this goal ,and he change to the sixth job at a right times （times 改为time）and keep on working at that company for a long time, which can aid him close to (his) target.

    In term of that ,it is not hard to figure out that youths should take a long period at the same job and decide what they want to be ,and them （then）, they can change variety of job to find out what is suit for the target and match their desire. That is the best way to become a success person 。(这一段的逻辑，我有点搞不清楚啊，应该长时间的做一种工作，然后看看他想要什么，然后他就再换不同的工作然后找到能实现自己目标的工作。根据上面的情况，好像youths should take a long period at the same job and decide what they want to be)

整个句子很流畅啊，而且例子举得也挺好。个人建议啊，第一段和第二段觉得有点跟题目擦边，you think that young people should take several different kinds of job before they take career in a long term，只突出了要换不同的工作，没有突出在找到长期稳定的工作之前要换不同的工作。

水平不高，上面都是个人意见啊。楼主加油~

鱼.小白UID: 2754339

There has some adolescences who changes job frequently ,which may help increase their income by this way .it is imperative that make money for the youths when they start to work ,therefore they do not mind change jobs again and again ,even in a short period.
7 F; p1 f$ [' d' N. y Numerous of research found that youths who often change jobs tend to have more experience than others who stay in same company, it can broaden her/she horizon through the social net work and different environment of each company.But it is not the major spirit which can help youth to be successful people.( R: v& v+ v* q
There is an very unique case of a person who changes jobs frequently. He had changed his job six times since he graduated for high school .he changed his first job because of he did not know how to get along with each other , especially leader . For the same reason he changed two jobs until he found out the real reason for himself in the third job. Then he started to learn how can get along with colleagues .At this time ,there are lots of colleagues who were willing to make friend with him and he could focus on working and then ,he found what he wants to achieve and what he wants to be. Hence he try to find a job which can reach this goal ,and he change to the sixth job at a right times and keep on working at that company for a long time, which can aid him close to target.9 t( C0 {! S% Y& i! [4 M, a' e& Q
In term of that ,it is not hard to figure out that youths should take a long period at the same job and decide what they want to be ,and them, they can change variety of job to find out what is suit for the target and match their desire. that is the best way to become a success person.

Comments: the whole passage has no coherent arguments. The illustration of the example is too long. And it does not substantiate your theme very well. In fact, you theme is not very well presented.