jenius的daily writing

JeniusUID: 2964631

jenius7.27独立.doc (16 KB, 下载次数: 10)

2011-7-28 10:38:40 上传

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                     TPO16 综合.doc (12.5 KB, 下载次数: 6)

2011-7-29 11:04:22 上传

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jenius 的独立 8.1.doc (16.5 KB, 下载次数: 3)

2011-8-1 22:13:47 上传

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                      jenius 8.3 独立.doc (15.5 KB, 下载次数: 1)

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JeniusUID: 2964631

综合写作~7.22TPO8In the lecture,the professor casts doubt on the reading passage's idea that Chevalier de Seingalt's memoir is inaccurate.The professor asserts that the memoir is accurate and reliable.
        To begin with,the professor argues that he was by no means poor when he was in Switzerland.According to the reading passage,he might not be rich that time.The professor says that he need to sell things first to get money,and he cost a lot to hold parties,so when he ran out of cash,he had to wait for profits made by business.Therefore, borrowing money from other merchants is not a hint of his poorness.
        On top of that,the professor claims that conversations in the memoir are precise.The reading passage describes how those talks might be miswritten after many years.On the contrary,the professor states that he wrote down conversations each night carefully,and there is witness who justify that when he wrote memoir,he refered to his journals.
        Lastly,the professor rebut the reading passage's point that in order to escape from the prison,he might provide a bribe to jailers with the help of powerful frinds,by stating that many other prisoners who were more powerful even can't escape from the jail.The professor ponts out that according to the government documentary,the ceiling og his prison room had been repaired.

超级猴子UID: 3023123

7.22television advertising directed towards young children should not be allowed

Nowadays,television advertisements have an more influence on our daily life.Advertisements ranges from daily commodity to luxy.Some people hold the point that advertising towards young kids should not be broadcast on TV.However,I advocate that advertising directed towards children should not be prohibited.7 M* v- R/ P( \+ u* c) F8 I+ N! U, l
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To begin with,without various advertisements,people hardly know anything about the goods,and children are with no exception(这个表达好帅气). In fact,there are thousands of goods in the market,such as shampoo,people can find even 20 brands in a grocery store.In this circumstance,choosing one become a problem for people.When choosing things for the kids,people should be more careful,like the shampoo, because little kid can be% q3 v$ H+ i: [* d3 g
easily harmed by chemical compositions.Therefore,advertisements for kids provide people with a easy and safe solution.All ads presented on the television are rigid checked by related(推荐个词concerned) bureau,and these brands are spoken highly by people.(这句有点无中生有)As a result,these ads for children might largely help people distinguish fine commodity(怎么打广告就都是好的产品了？需要点明一下).( e$ ?( S. ^  J. J

On top of that,parents might get a wide range of knowledge from the ads for children.Through most ads for kids,parents can know what suit the kids and what will benefit their growth .For instance,some supplements advertisement on the television remind parents that their children may suffer a short of calcium element,which will plays a significant part on kids' growth. Also,parents can obtain what goods are popular among kids in that age,for example,parents who are aware of ads for kids might buy children a bobby toy to play with,instead of an old-fashioned model car.Besides,for most people,it's their first time to act as parents,and they even don't know what to buy for children,so it's the ads for kids that can get them out of this trouble.Ads for children plays a crucial part in family life,without these ads,people's life cannot be such easy and convenient.. p% L6 U' r4 O% z

Admittedly,these ads also has some passive actions ,both on parents and children.Fist, parents may buy goods unnecessary after watching ads which make the goods seems so important to possess.Second,children are not resistant to things in the ads,so that they may have some unreasonable needs.However,as long as our relative bureau regulates the ads market with cautious and our consumers be more sane,these phenomenon will be rare.(这段放到前面感觉会更好，但谈不足，再谈优势)
j" z
To sum up,ads make people's daily life convenient,suggest them what to buy and tell them the high quality goods,and even instruct people with what they should buy.So I firmly believe that ads directed toward kids should not be forbidden.

羊小咩89UID: 2848665

新手小童鞋，话说7,22综合应该是TPO11

JeniusUID: 2964631

4# 羊小咩89
昨天刚好做到了8····然后···么有然后···今天跟着本组进度走···

冰雪蜂鸟UID: 2754485

我怎么觉得你的独立和综合写的题目都不对啊><

JeniusUID: 2964631

6# 冰雪蜂鸟
那个···我昨天做的TPO8，所以就发这个了····

kagomerwUID: 2453843

7-22的，改好了

JeniusUID: 2964631

7-22的，改好了
kagomerw 发表于 2011-7-23 22:38

谢谢啦，好详细的~
谢谢你的指正~我发现我需要些连词将我的各种混乱的句子连在一起来支撑我的观点··

after90sundaeUID: 3132327

When it comes to education, all people are so intense that they hope their children to accept the best education from nursery school to universities. Some of them urge that government should spend more on kids education, however, I firmly believe that undergraduate study, even further study, are crucial for a country's development. It is conceivable that universities need more budget to nurture students,to devote (貌似devote只能及物哇)into specialize researches and to maintain it's（it's？Its？their？） daily work.

There is no doubt that universities nurture many brilliant persons, and it is these persons, who can develop a lot to the construction of a modern state.（develop这样用有点奇怪啊，没怎么看过）Our universities has（have） fostered many scientists, politicians and professors, and provide conditions for their study, research. All of thom（them小心啊） will contribute a lot to the success of country's development. Accordingly, it is reasonable that our government should concentrate it's（ its） budget more on university, so that our universities can hire more talented professors and provide better laboratory（复数吧）, which will result in more excellent students will graduate.（这个从句的语法。。。）

On top of that, it （it’s）necessary for universities to have more money to conduct it's research and experiment. As we all know, facilities in （the）laboratory can be much expensive.（much可以修饰形容词？）As many researches and inventions are conducted in the universities, it is critic that our government needs to pay more attention to universities. What is more,  focusing on the research conducted in universities leads to development of technology, thus stimulate the progress of our society.

Also a university needs large amount of money to function well. Many facilities in a university cost a lot of money, as well as faculties. Taking（独立一句的话用take吧） the library as an example.Books, journals, and newspapers in the library need to be updated periodically, so that students and professors can have access to the latest researches and current affairs, thus it certainly takes a lot of money and it cannot be canceled. On the other hand, multimedia in the library can be a large expenses.（单复数） Technology today is well developed, multimedia gives（单复数） people an easy way to find files they need. To maintain the multimedia working properly, the library needs to hire technicians to take care of it （them）and replace it when necessary. Therefore, universities need to pay for all those for meeting students' and faculties' basic academic needs.

In a nutshell, to the success of our country, the government needs to devote more budget to universities, so that they can foster more great persons, develop advanced technology and maintain their daily work.
楼主对一些小细节还是多注意吧，能不错的就别错。然后语言方面，我觉得很多地方的逻辑有些绝对了。

jackchen823UID: 2767008

木有看到独立哦

JeniusUID: 2964631

11# jackchen823

在一楼啊

wilsonchen2011UID: 3137568

Jenius，where's your integrated task essay?

JeniusUID: 2964631

13# wilsonchen2011

刚贴上来哈，在一楼

wilsonchen2011UID: 3137568

批改完了，希望对你有帮助。