Daily Wringting by 蹲着的猫

厄先生UID: 2865467

15# wqr619
你作文是怎么弄的啊 求指导。。。

wqr619UID: 3007621

作文没别的。。就是要多写啊。。。写完了再不要脸地贴上来让大家拍砖。。。 16# 厄先生

wqr619UID: 3007621

telephone or text？？ who tm knows.....继续求拍。。。。

nimaoerzxyUID: 3180559

18# wqr619 https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1331113-1-1.html

帮忙互改下吧亲！

lovely_hippo123UID: 3209964

不客气啦哈。。。。
2月3日 110815NA One of your classmates needs help with some schoolwork. Which solution would you recommend your classmate should do: to ask you for help or to find a professional tutor for help. Include reasons and details to in your response. 题目真奇怪。。像口语题。。真难过要憋出那么多道理出来。。' d1 _% j+ v' ^* q5 a/ X9 S5 V+ t7 m3 |/ y7 b. I

9 v/ |1 ~6 J$ m. RI think my classmate should go straight to the tutor instead of me—直接找教授. As for academic problems, the tutor with abundant professional knowledge can be of great help and benefit for one’s study. My classmate can discuss the schoolwork with me first and turn to professional help later--先找我，再找教授。. Communication with tutor is highly recommended—直接找教授.
我的妈呀，这第一段说的到底是直接找教授，还是先找我啊。。。

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5 h3 Q; B, Y+ s1 [: TStudents who consult their tutor can not only get help with schoolwork, but also obtain some thorough advice about the course study. Peers—这个好
from class who share可以加level？用at？ the same academical level just lack enough experience to offer beneficial suggestions. For instance, when facing-用suffering可以不？ a puzzle-斟酌一下有点怪，这个要其他大师帮忙看下，puzzle可以指作业么？呼呼 about some academic tasks, your classmates may probably recommend you to look up to-换一个吧，不大对呢，这是是尊敬的意思。。。 some reference books with direct answers or solutions. While a tutor may encourage and even lead you to find a solution yourself. Which is a better study method? The answer is self-evident. Tutor’s help will foster independent study habit, which will benefit one’s academical abilities to a great extent. In this case, if I was the one to offer help, I simply wouldn’t want to waste time - t- T9 e- y4 ^5 B4 d* p. D8 qto encourage my classmate to work on his/her own. It must be time-consuming, and my peer most likely won’t follow my unprofessional suggestion. But I believe a paid tutor would be patient and, most importantly, qualified enough to guide my classmate.
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% S7 f+ K& H0 iAnother problem？怎么就another了呢？上一段就提到找同学帮忙，同学只会叫你去看书，这里就用一整段说找学生帮忙的毛病。其实这段内容可以也简单带过的，个人觉得你主要是要写找教授好吧，那这段就应该也说教授好，然后学生不好的地方一句带过就好。。你呢 related to help from classmates is the possibilities of plagiarism. It’s not uncommon in today’s universities that a->some students would copy homework of a relatively good grades classmates. Therefore, it is quite possible that when a classmate turn to-好东西啊 a better grades student for help, he/she may not resist the temptation to copy the nearly correct answer. And as for the ‘better’ student, he/she would most likely accept that requirement , rather than bother to offer guidance. This situation is surely not encouraging./ E6 d) i! C! n+ [1 M0 i7 ^5 ?
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In conclusion, as a relatively ‘better’ student, I would naturally prefer my class mate to consult a tutor, for both his/her interests and my own—这个可以再详细一点。。。

我能力有限。但是我不客气了。呵呵。。一起努力啊。观点分布有点乱。。。写作之前，先构思好。。应该会好很多。你说呢？加油.。l# B  t

MELODYSKIINGUID: 2841950

已改！木有很仔细地改……sorryLZ作文很好吖..........膜拜！

wqr619UID: 3007621

慧眼拍砖。。。赞一个。。。 20# lovely_hippo123

sodapengUID: 3242849

I think my classmate should go straight to the tutor instead of me. As for academic problems, the tutor with abundant professional knowledge can be of great help and benefit for one’s study. My classmate can discuss the schoolwork with me first and turn to professional help later. Communication with tutor is highly recommended. （觉得这段里不应该加先找我discuss再找tutor，这样有点显得观点不明确，个人意见啦）

Students who consult their tutor can not only get help with schoolwork, but also obtain some thorough advice about the course study. Peers from class who share the same academical level just lack enough experience to offer beneficial suggestions. For instance, when facing a puzzle about some academic tasks, your classmates may probably recommend you to look up to some reference books with direct answers or solutions. While a tutor may encourage and even lead you to find a solution yourself. Which is a better study method? The answer is self-evident. Tutor’s help will foster independent study habit, which（感觉把to great extent 放在这里这里当插入语会比较好） will benefit one’s academical abilities to a great extent. In this case, if I was the one to offer help, I simply wouldn’t want to waste time to encourage my classmate to work on his/her own. It must be time-consuming, and my peer most likely won’t follow my unprofessional suggestion. But I believe a paid tutor would be patient and, most importantly, qualified enough to guide my classmate.
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Another problem related to help from classmates is the possibilities of plagiarism. It’s not uncommon in today’s universities that a students (students) would copy homework of a relatively good grades classmates. Therefore, it is quite possible that when a classmate turn（turns） to a better grades student for help, he/she may not resist the temptation to copy the nearly correct answer. And as for the ‘better’ student, he/she would most likely accept that requirement , rather than bother to offer guidance. (感觉这句去掉bother to 读着比较顺)This situation is surely not encouraging. (不推荐用 he/she 来表示，因为国外很少这样表示， 推荐用people individual citizen 神马的。。 )

In conclusion, as a relatively ‘better’ student, I would naturally prefer my class mate to consult a tutor, for both his/her interests and my own.

总体来说楼主文字很不错的，里面有很多句子很好，学习之~~就是有点感觉构思和逻辑不是很清晰，正方观点论证有点不太充分。一起加油哈~~

LusotaUID: 2929567

2012/2/3
I think my classmate should go straight to the tutor instead of me. As for academic problems, turning to
the tutor with abundant professional knowledge can be of great help and [url=]benefit[/url][D1] for one’s study. My classmate can discuss the schoolwork with me first and turn to professional help later. Communication with tutor is highly recommended.
# f
Students who consult their tutor can not only get help with schoolwork, but also obtain some thorough advice about the course study. Peers from class who share the same [url=]academical[/url][D2] level just lack enough experience to offer beneficial suggestions. For instance, when facing a puzzle about some academic tasks, your classmates may probably recommend you to look up to some reference books with direct answers or solutions. While a tutor may encourage and even lead you to find a solution yourself. Which is a better study method? The answer is self-evident. Tutor’s help will foster independent study habit, which will benefit one’s [url=]academical[/url][D3] abilities to a great extent. （In this case, if I was the one to offer help, I simply wouldn’t want to waste time to encourage my classmate to work on his/her own. It must be time-consuming, and my peer most likely won’t follow my unprofessional suggestion. ）觉得此处稍微有点远了，毕竟是同学来找你询问，你就应该是主动方，给他建议，同学接收不接受就是另一回事儿了，你觉得？But I believe a paid tutor would be patient and, most importantly, qualified enough to guide my classmate.
( Another problem related to [url=]help[/url][D4] from classmates is the possibilities of plagiarism. It’s not uncommon in today’s universities that [url=]a[/url][D5] students would copy homework [url=]of[/url][D6] a relatively good grades classmates. Therefore, it is quite possible that when a classmate t[url=]u[/url][D7] rn to a better grades student for help, he/she may not resist the temptation to copy the nearly correct answer. And as for the ‘better’ student, he/she would most likely accept that requirement, rather than bother to offer guidance. This situation is surely not encouraging.( T) g  w  J
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In conclusion, as a relatively ‘better’ student, I would naturally prefer my class mate to consult a tutor, for both his/her interests and my own.（最后一段总结是不是应该再适当加一句理由？）
建议把第二段中询问classmates的缺点和tutor的优点分开，因为你这一段是综合二者用比较的手法来衬托出tutor的好，但是下一段确实一直在写问classmates的缺点，为了结构清晰，加上你的论点是支持tutor，建议把tutor优点分开写两段，补充一些例子，再把classmates的缺点综合为一段。你觉得呢？？！！

其中的一句设问句挺不错，值得学习。。

例子比较详实，值得借鉴，但是尽量去掉一些稍远一些的例子就更好了。

另外，问一下，这种建议类的题型必写成一种观点，不能中立吗？我觉得可以按问题的不同情况选择性地choose 不同的人，是不是在开头就强调出这种观点也可以呢？？

[D1]be of great help and benefit 意指对…有很大帮助和益处，直接说tutor对study有很大益处好像不是很恰当吧。。前面加上turning后句子就有了动作的意思，表示这种做法有如下的效果。



[D2]应用academic



[D3]academic



[D4]用helping，此处的to是介词，后面是用动名词的吧。。。



[D5]删除a， 笔误



[D6]最好用from， 毕竟classmates是活物。且，删掉a



[D7]turns

nimaoerzxyUID: 3180559

  When confronting upsetting or controversial problems with others, I would rather call them directly instead of wasting time writing text. The reason is obvious. By contacting via telephone, one can express his/her true feelings thoroughly. While e-mail and text massage would most likely convey fake emotions. （下文说了phone有convenient的有点 这里应该提一下）

  True feelings can only be expressed by voice rather than words. When writing a text, one can fake his/her emotions easily, because the time permits. However, when people are talking, the speed of exchanging information triumph over the writing pace greatly. Thus, people simply have no time to convey fake emotion or even tell lies. That’s why politicians hold debate over controversial issues, instead of writing criticisms in the newspaper. Generally, the public tend to believe what their potential leader says, instead of what he/she writes. Chances are that the texts, essay or even a love letter from your classmate are written by someone else, someone who master better writing skills, someone knows rhetoric well, someone expresses nothing but fake feelings.

  However, it’s not easy to fake someone’ s voice. And it’s much more difficult to make up a perfect lie in such a short time via telephone. Moreover, voice contains more information than texts with the same number of words. For instance, when my boy friend texts me ‘good night’. I can hardly feel his emotion via the two simple words. But when he calls me to wish me good night, I can feel his care and love through his gentle voice. Telephone makes people close to each other, which can not be achieved by text.

  Furthermore, a call is more time-saving than writing text, as I mentioned above. Writing a text to deal with upsetting problems consumes a lot of time and energy. You need to figure out a proper way of reasoning. While talking on the phone will spare the time and express people’s first thought without any extra modification. Phone call is a more convenient way of communication.

In conclusion, communication by phone is a much wiser choice than texts, considering its advantage of showing true feelings as well as saving time.

（楼主你写的很好！！！！！膜拜了。。。你看我基本上都没有改动。。不过个人觉得结尾多写点吧，，字数多点分数会高 ， 中间段的最后两段相对有点简略了， 语法错误个人觉得没有哦， 也许我水平太差了 都改不出什么）

wqr619UID: 3007621

academic vs academical确实纠结了一下~~多谢指出哈~~~
我觉得完全可以中立啊~~言之成理即可~~~
这篇文章的论点不明确。之前也有托友指出，我写得时候倒是没发现~~还好还好。。谢谢啦~~
有关把第二段分开的建议个人表示很赞同。。不然会有种两端重复的感觉~~大谢
一起加油

24# Lusota

wqr619UID: 3007621

3月4日 机经里的一篇作文。
题目是电影里的现实主义。。

坏绿的眼睛UID: 3138294

movies are worth watching unless they tell us something about realism
红色添加  紫色精彩  棕色困惑  灰色删除
蓝色是不涉及语法的、关于结构和语言的建议、修改
Valuable movies always contain realistic elements according to my analysis. As a popular modern art form, movies have the function to express the true feelings of the movie makers so as to touch the viewers. Overstatement on romantic fantasy will most likely mislead people of their real lives.

The source of the movie makers’ inspiration determines the movie’s major value 可以用这个词吗 我觉得用Theme 更好. Once a movie story comes out of real life experience, which is possibly shared by the general public. It is more likely that the movie will move用touch如何？ the viewers and arouse their similar emotions with the movie character. Take the movie- A good year for instance to an example 句子没说完哇, when the character Max finally came to realize that the true essence of life was love rather than money, I felt so 要换成was 才跟后面的动词被动式搭配呀 动词接动词是不行的嘛 moved and inspired by this movie. Because the story is very realistic. It express a common emotion of almost everyone, who struggles to earn money as much as possible even though he doesn’t know why he needs so much money. Thus,it is The real situation we are faced today, with fierce competition and high pursuit of material, decides our emotion expressed in the movie- that we really need to enjoy our lives如果想表达的是人生的话 要用Life. True feeling comes from real life. That’s why movie need to contain realism so as to touch the audience.

While a movie abandoning realism can sometimes be 应该是can be harmful or misleading,sometimes. For example, when I was a teenager, a very romantic movie will often caught my eye. 我不确定这个过去-将来的时态对不对 总觉得有点怪 In those movies, a very poor or even not so good-looking girl would one day meet 好用法哇 her prince charming, who happened to be perfect- handsome, wealthy and kind-hearted.额 我觉得既然都白马王子了 就不用happened to be了吧  who is 就行 This kind of movie is just so misleading that at one time 似乎不能说以至于我某一次觉得怎样吧？I was convinced that none of the boys I ever met is qualified to be my ‘prince’. The unrealistic story reflects nothing but fantasy. Chances are that after influenced by these movies, people will tend to hold negative onions 我知道楼主是想写opinions about their real lives 换成lifes 才是现实生活的意思哇 which has nothing like the fantasy.

To conclude, I insist that realism is the true value of movie. A good movie will open your eyes to see the beauty of your life rather than cover it with unrealistic fantasy.

楼主 论点不错 BODY很充实 语法错误很少很少 这一点比我强太多了哇 - - 和你分享一个小技巧就是一段用包括很多数据的实例比如调查 另外一段可以用身边的实例
然后 我觉得可能写的仓促了 所以层次不是很分明  每段开头没有连接词倒没神马 不过一个论证段内部 最好还是梳理得明确一些可能比较讨考官喜欢 就是“我的观点是。然后解释因为神马神马我这样认为。我有一个怎么样怎么样的例子。因此得出。。。所以我真的认为这样这样”                                     一点浅见！——坏绿眼睛

wqr619UID: 3007621

唉。。。有一些低级错误自己已经改了。。。

猛龙过江UID: 3220220

嘿嘿，改好了，顺便请你帮我改下我的3号的那篇，谢谢，链接如下：
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1322800&page=3#pid1775684864