[已过期]wstfw作业贴

wstfwUID: 3170761

9月25号，独体作文坐电梯到12楼！！~~:lol
9月24号，独体作文坐电梯到5楼！！~

2012、9，23 To improve the quality of education，universities should spend more money on professors' salaries.

Nowadays universities spend more money to improve the quality of education, exploring which is the best and most efficient way to do that. Whatever it is, in my point of view making the quality of education better by increasing the professor's salaries is not really a good way. Instead, updating the equipments of the laboratory and holding meaningful activities are practical ways. The detail reasons are listed below.
Firstly, the increase of the salaries would not directly lead to the increase of the knowledge that the professors have. And only if the professors are more knowledgeable will the students learn more from the professors and broaden their horizon. In this way, the quality of education will be better. But in fact, some professors are not likely to broaden their knowledge in their own academic field for some reasons. For example, when I take the life science course, I find out that I heard most of the materials and examples the professor used in class many years ago. Instead of using the latest news or papers the professor choose to use the materials and examples once she researched many years ago.
Second, even if increasing the salaries can improve the quality education, this method is not the only way to make the quality of education better. In my opinion, universities should spend much more money on updating the equipment of the laboratory. As we all know, it is very practical to do the experiments in the laboratory. And only if the equipments in the laboratory are good enough can we do increase our knowledge more efficiently. Also spending more money on holding meaningful activities is a great approach to high quality education. For instance, last week our school held a activity called Reading A Book Once A Week, and my classmates and I took part in it. We gained much more colorful experience as well as made some new friends from these activities.
From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that spending more money on professors' salaries is not a good way to improve the equality of the education.
憋了好久才憋出来

wstfwUID: 3170761

呀呼，帖子开啦！
我每天坚持憋作文！
帖子开了，离不用憋就写出来还远吗？

汐二萌sunshineUID: 3377371

To improve the quality of education，universities should spend more money on professors' salaries.

Nowadays universities spend more money improving the quality of education, exploring which is the best and most efficient way to do that. Whatever it is(建议最好不要用这样的句子，有点随性了), in my point of view making the quality of education better by increasing the professor's salaries is not really a good(effective 托福作文中最好不要用good 可以去查几个good的同义词) way. Instead, updating the equipments of the laboratory and holding meaningful activities are more practical ways.

Firstly, the increase of the salaries would not directly lead to the progression/improvement of the knowledge that the professors have. And only if the professors are more knowledgeable will the students learn more from the professors and broaden their horizon.（倒装用的不错噢^0^） In this way, the quality of education will be better. But in fact, some professors are not willing to broaden their knowledge in their own academic field for some reasons for a short while. For example, when I take the life sciences course, I find out that most of the instances that the professor used were heard 20 years ago. These were all antecedents. Instead of using the latest news or papers, the professor choose to utilize those once she researched many years ago.(这段最后 the materials and examples 和 use 重复使用了，建议同意改写一下， 文章的句式或词汇更多样)

Second, even if increasing the salaries can improve the quality education, this method is not the only way to make the quality of education better. In my opinion, universities should invest on enhance the facilities of the laboratory. As we all know, it is doing the experiments in the laboratory that is a great deal useful and necessary. And only if (建议上一段用了的句式不要再用， 特别是倒装， 个人认为一篇文章一个就足够了，还有很多句式可以选择)the equipments in the laboratory are good enough can we do increase our knowledge more efficiently. In addition/furthermore, spending more money(spending more money可以再同义改写，重复两次以上会让考官产生厌倦感)on holding meaningful activities is a significant approach to high quality education. For instance, last week our school held a activity called Reading A Book Once A Week, and my classmates and I took part in it. We gained much more assorted experience as well as made some new friends from these activities.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that spending more money on professors' salaries is not a good way to improve the equality of the education.


楼主抱歉发晚了 因为我家里wifi不稳定 TUT  

wstfwUID: 3170761

你的作文菜哪里？

wstfwUID: 3170761

汐二萌sunshine 发表于 2012-9-24 19:22
/Users/jennychen/Documents/作文 revised by 汐二萌.docx    改完了 楼主查收吧

改的在哪里，我怎么空没看到，你的作文菜哪里？~

wstfwUID: 3170761

9.24作文：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement：It is easier for parents to raise their children than 50 years ago.

With the development of our country, people's life becomes easier than before. So there is no doubt that it is much easier for parents to raise their children than 50 years ago. That means our parents raise us, which is easier than our grandparents raised our parents. Here are some detail reasons.

First of all, people are getting richer and richer nowadays. So having enough money for children to attend school hardly becomes a problem for parents. However, in the old days some children had difficulties in going to school. For those families, not being hungry every day was the most essential thing and there was no more money for any children to go to school. Today most parents can satisfy the need of children and even spend some money to let their children buy whatever they like, like book or something.

Second, from a recent scientific survey, it shows that people live much longer than 50 years ago. When many parents are working for the money, our grandparents can help to take care their children. This also makes parents raising their children easier. Take myself as an example. When I was in the elementary school, my grandparents lived with me every day, cooking for me and playing with me. While my parents were working hard to create a better life for us at that time and they just visited us once week.

Most important is that the environment for raising children today is much better than the old days. There was a well-know mother in ancient China named Meng. She is so famous because she moved home for three times to find a great environment for her child. On the contrary, nowadays there are many great environments for children. For instance, the city library and the English salon.
这第三个例子会不会有点跑题

汐二萌sunshineUID: 3377371

wstfw 发表于 2012-9-24 19:36
改的在哪里，我怎么空没看到，你的作文菜哪里？~

我修改了帖子  楼主看看吧

汐二萌sunshineUID: 3377371

0923 wstfw作文修改：
To improve the quality of education，universities should spend more money on professors' salaries.

Nowadays universities spend more money improving the quality of education, exploring which is the best and most efficient way to do that. Whatever it is(建议最好不要用这样的句子，有点随性了), in my point of view making the quality of education better by increasing the professor's salaries is not really a good(effective 托福作文中最好不要用good 可以去查几个good的同义词) way. Instead, updating the equipments of the laboratory and holding meaningful activities are more practical ways.

Firstly, the increase of the salaries would not directly lead to the progression/improvement of the knowledge that the professors have. And only if the professors are more knowledgeable will the students learn more from the professors and broaden their horizon.（倒装用的不错噢^0^） In this way, the quality of education will be better. But in fact, some professors are not willing to broaden their knowledge in their own academic field for some reasons for a short while. For example, when I take the life sciences course, I find out that most of the instances that the professor used were heard 20 years ago. These were all antecedents. Instead of using the latest news or papers, the professor choose to utilize those once she researched many years ago.(这段最后 the materials and examples 和 use 重复使用了，建议同意改写一下， 文章的句式或词汇更多样)

Second, even if increasing the salaries can improve the quality education, this method is not the only way to make the quality of education better. In my opinion, universities should invest on enhance the facilities of the laboratory. As we all know, it is doing the experiments in the laboratory that is a great deal useful and necessary. And only if (建议上一段用了的句式不要再用， 特别是倒装， 个人认为一篇文章一个就足够了，还有很多句式可以选择)the equipments in the laboratory are good enough can we do increase our knowledge more efficiently. In addition/furthermore, spending more money(spending more money可以再同义改写，重复两次以上会让考官产生厌倦感)on holding meaningful activities is a significant approach to high quality education. For instance, last week our school held a activity called Reading A Book Once A Week, and my classmates and I took part in it. We gained much more assorted experience as well as made some new friends from these activities.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that spending more money on professors' salaries is not a good way to improve the equality of the education.
版主你为什么删我的贴 TUT

wstfwUID: 3170761

汐二萌sunshine 发表于 2012-9-24 21:21
0923 wstfw作文修改：
To improve the quality of education，universities should spend more money on  ...

哈哈，thank Q so much, I've learned a lot from you!

1.不要用一样的，但我想出来别的关键是~

for a short while 一时
instance 事例
utilize利用
assorted 各种各样的

Question：
1.invest on enhance the facilities of the laboratory ，是不是用enhancing？
2. I find out that most of the instances that the professor used were heard 20 years ago.
这句里的were heard 是不是指我 heard？~
3.汐二萌sunshine 你练习作文用的那些资料呀？

啊，我也是建了作业贴，被放到回车站了，今天发现有了，你在发个作业贴看看

汐二萌sunshineUID: 3377371

wstfw 发表于 2012-9-24 22:24
哈哈，thank Q so much, I've learn a lot from you!

1.不要用一样的，但我想出来别的关键是~

Answer：
1. 是的! 谢谢纠正~
2.我个人觉得这个地方没必要特别强调 I heard  被动句使整个文章的句式多样化了一些  整篇作文如果能够巧妙的运用 被动句 长短句 从句 非谓语 等 会显得文章等级更高 官方所谓的 句式多样化  我个人认为就是这个 ^0^   当然我也不是能完全 巧妙的运用  所以要多加练习 就像我虽然可以写出一些 但是会想一会儿 不够熟练 TUT
3.我在练习作文方面没多少资料 大多是看经验贴里面看到的 就尝试自己写 看原版书也挺好的 但是长时间才出效果
4. 我说的是给你修改的作文的帖子啦  在原帖上编辑后被删了 估计是版主以为是我自己的作文贴到你这儿来了 所以我第二次发就说明了下是修改的 ^0^
   

baxiacandyUID: 3203456

已改

wstfwUID: 3170761

9.25，作业！独立

9.25作文：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement：The advice from the grandparents is of no use to their grandchildren because the world has changed a lot over the past 50 years.

As we are growing up, we are listening to the suggestions from the people around us, like our parents, our friends, and our teachers. Some people hold the opinion that the advice our grandparents give is not useful to us since the world changed a lot over the past 50 years. However, from my personal experiences and some scientific evidences, I definitely agree that the suggestions from our grandparents are useful and helpful for us even the time is changing.

First of all, although the time is changing as we now come into the information era, some genuine knowledge our grandparents gained is constant. So some of the advice from our grandparents is really genuine knowledge in the past and in the future. For instance, once my grandparents suggested me not to take a shower immediately after I finished dinner. And now we can analyse it scientificly. Because that after dinner most of our body blood is flowing into the stomach for digestion, it is not healthy to shower right now. So this is a really great proposal that can be used forever.

Second, our grandparents gain more life experience than our parents or friends for they are living so long. So their proposal for us can be very profound and rational. A recent survey shows that the people who are over 55 years old can predict the weather more accurate than the younger people by analysing the cloud. It is because they see much more weather than the youth. A few years ago when I wanted to go out to play basketball, my grandmother suggested me that was not a good idea for it was going to rain. Later, it turned out my grandmother was right and I returned home within 10 minutes.
Finally, the aspects our grandparents look at of the problem sometimes differ from our parents and friends. And for us, it is really sensible for us to compare all the advice we are given. Sometimes, we will find out that our grandparents' suggestion is so intelligent and not out of date at all.
From what has been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is ridiculous to say that the proposal from the grandparents is of no use to their grandchildren.

wstfwUID: 3170761

baxiacandy 发表于 2012-9-25 10:20
已改

啊哈，thank Q！I learned a lot.

汐二萌sunshineUID: 3377371

楼主我改成你925的了 TUT  

汐二萌sunshineUID: 3377371

楼主我改了0924的你的作文了 改了两篇TUT 请查收 0925那篇不错 就是0924这篇不太好