argument25 求批改求点评

HarrisonWongUID: 3465959

第一篇evidence题 希望得到的意见：
1.分数估计
2.论证深度上还有提升的空间吗
3.这个结构有什么硬伤吗
谢谢各位了~~

Whereas it is plausible that a jazz club in Monroe will make profits, there is scant evidence to support developers' argumentation. To evaluate their argument and conclusion, a number of additional evidence is required.

Based on the fact that the nearest jazz club is far away from Monroe, the authors claim that C-Note, the proposed club, will own all the local market. However, this fact in itself cannot justify this bold claim because perhaps many jazz fans in Monroe get used to the faraway club, and do not find this distance inconvenient. To evaluate this statement, we need more information about the interest of enthusiasts. Supposing a survey shows that nearly 90 percent of fans in Monroe prefer the old jazz club when they are asked whether they will choose the old club or new club which will be built in Monroe, the arguers statement will be significantly undermined.

Additionally, the developers believe that jazz is prevalent in Monroe. Though they provide three pieces of evidence to corroborate this claim, we need to know more information, such as the total number of people in Monroe and the popularity of radio program, to evaluate the claim. For example, if the there are only 200,000 people in Monroe, the fact that 50 percent of them attended the annual jazz festival seems to imply the prevalence of jazz. Nonetheless, if there are 5,000,000 people, 100,000 will only account for a tiny part of them, and thus the authors' claim will be substantially weakened. Moreover, an investigation showing that only 0.1 percent of people in Monroe usually listen to radios will certainly weaken the argument because the most popular radio program is indeed, not popular comparing to other types of programs.

Citing a nationwide study, the author indicates that jazz fans in Monroe will consume as much as 1,000 dollars per year. While it may be true, there is no evidence that jazz enthusiasts in Monroe typify jazz fans in the whole country. To make the argument more cogent, It is advisable for the developers to conduct a survey in Monroe to demonstrate the high spending on jazz of people here.

The authors' conclusion will seem to be sound if all the three claims are true: the new club will have all the local market; the jazz is popular in Monroe; people here spend much money on jazz. However, all the claims need further evidence to substantiate. Unless more evidence is provided by developers, the bank is unlikely to give loan them rashly.