0910G【Try Best】第一小组 argument242 by GG86_Fly

GG86_FlyUID: 2641450

TOPIC: ARGUMENT242 - The following appeared as an editorial in the student newspaper of Groveton College.

"To combat the recently reported dramatic rise in cheating among college and university students, these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced an old-fashioned system in which students were closely monitored by teachers and an average of thirty cases of cheating per year were reported. The honor code has proven far more successful: in the first year it was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council, a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without."
WORDS: 469
TIME: 00:44:10
DATE: 2009-6-3 16:06:01

The argument suggests that the institutions which have reported dramatic rise in cheating should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which seem to have achieved a success by using honor codes. However, by careful examining this argument, the suggestion may be not as useful as the arguer advocate.

The suggestion is based on the arguer's assumption that the honor code has proven a success in Groveton College. In fact, the declining number reported by students could not substantiate that there are fewer students cheating in academic endeavors. It is entirely possible that the figure during the five-period is high, but decrease in the fifth year, thus it make an illusion to the arguer that students are less likely to cheat in academic endeavors. If it is the case, the fifth figure could make no sense to the arguer's assumption.


Even if the figure had dropped, the arguer could not attribute this phenomenon to the honor code. Although the survey seems to certify the useful impact on students, but the authenticity of this survey is suspicious. How many students engaged in this survey? Does the number is large enough? As we all know, the less the sample, the less reliable the result. Moreover, is the result reliable and objective? Maybe the students just want to cope with the researcher. So there would be other alternative explanations for the decrease. It is possible that the students enrolled in Groveton College are of high competitive, they can get high grades without using such bad actions as cheating, or the examination in this college is much easier than before. Without ruling out these possible explanations, the argument could not convince us that the honor codes are the cause of the declining figure of cheating incidents.

The arguer even assumes that if these institutions adopt the same measures, they would decrease their cheating incidents efficiently. However, the arguer fails to consider the differences between these institutions and Groveton College. Maybe the students in these institutions are afraid of being revenged, so they could not notify faculty members even they know the others have cheated. Or these institutions might have other factors that could not influence the effect of the honor codes. Unless the arguer could substantiate that no difference between these institutions and Groveton College, he/she could not convince us that other institutions would achieve a decline of the cheating incidents.

In conclusion, this argument is unconvincing as its stands.To improve this argument, the arguer should cite more evidences to substantiate that the honor code can in fact lead a success of combating cheating incidents, and the arguer should also convince us that these students would stand to the honor code. For better evaluate the arguer's suggestion, we should know that whether these institutions have the same situation as in Groveton College, and whether the honor code could guarantee a decline in these institutions.

442371236UID: 2636160

The argument suggests that the institutions which have reported dramatic rise in cheating should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which seems to have achieved a success by using honor codes. However, by careful examining this argument, the suggestion may be not as useful useful ?effectiveas the arguer advocate.

The suggestion is based on the arguer's assumption that the honor code has proven 此是形容词，用proveda success in Groveton College. In fact, the declining number reported by students could not substantiate that there are fewer students cheating in academic endeavors. It is entirely possible that the figure during the five-period is high, but decrease in the fifth year, thus it makes an illusion to the arguer that students are less likely to cheat in academic endeavors. If it is the case, the fifth figure could make no sense to the arguer's assumption.


Even if the figure had dropped, the arguer could not attribute this phenomenon to the honor code. 归功现象给诚信制度？Although the survey seems to certify the useful impact 有用的影响？on students, but the authenticity of this survey is suspicious. How many students engaged in this survey? Does the number is large enough? As we all know, the less the sample, the less reliable the result is. Moreover, is the result reliable and objective? Maybe the students just want to cope with the cater for更好好像 researcher. So there would be other alternative explanations for the decrease. It is possible that the students enrolled in Groveton College are of high competitivecompetition, they can get high grades without using such bad actions as cheating, or the examination in this college is much easier than before. Without ruling out these possible explanations, the argument could not convince us that the honor codes are the cause of the declining figure of cheating incidents.

The arguer even assumes that if these institutions adopt the same measures, they would decrease their cheating incidents efficiently. However, the arguer fails to consider the differences between these institutions and Groveton College. Maybe the students in these institutions are afraid of being revenged, so they could not notify faculty members even they know the others have cheated. Or these institutions might have other factors that could not influence the effect of the honor codes. Unless the arguer could substantiate that no difference between these institutions and Groveton College, he/she could not convince us that other institutions would achieve a decline of the cheating incidents.

In conclusion, this argument is unconvincing as its stands.To improve this argument, the arguer should cite more evidences to substantiate that the honor code can in fact lead a success of combating cheating incidents, and the arguer should also convince us that these students would stand to the honor code. For better evaluate the arguer's suggestion, we should know that whether these institutions have the same situation as in Groveton College, and whether the honor code could guarantee a decline in these institutions.（可以试着分析的段用first ，second ，third表明这样更明确）文章总体不错，句式和措辞可以稍加揣摩得更地道。主要是句式。

nlhustUID: 2404239

Theargument suggests that the institutions which have reported dramaticrise in cheating should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, whichseems to have achieved a success by using honor codes. However, bycareful examining this argument, the suggestion may be not as useful asthe arguer advocate.

The suggestion isbased on the arguer's assumption that the honor code has proven a success in Groveton College. In fact, the declining numberreported by students could not substantiate that there are fewerstudents cheating in academic endeavors. It is entirely possible that the figure during the five-period is high,but decrease in the fifth year, thus it make an illusion to the arguer thatstudents are less likely to cheat in academic endeavors. (为什么会有这种规律呢？其背后有什么原因？没说清楚就这样直接抛出这个理由感觉说服力不强。另外这个怎样证明report的数量下降不代表cheating的人变少了呢？如果说是有些cheating事件未被举报还有可能，但是这里的理由仅仅是说figure的减少会照成一种假象，可是如果真的是完全记录了的话，数据变少了就是作弊的人变少了，不管这是不是个循环规律，所以如果一定要用这个例子的话，前面的In fact 一句就因该换种说法，比如说declining number不一定意味着honor code起作用了。) If it is the case, the fifthfigure could make no sense to the arguer's assumption.
这一段论述的有点问题，而且不充分。。

Even if the figurehad dropped, the arguer could not attribute this phenomenon to thehonor code.（这句话这样说会不会太绝对了？） Although the survey seems to certify the useful impact onstudents, but the authenticity of this survey is suspicious. How manystudents engaged in this survey? Does the number is large enough?(Is the number large enough) As weall know, the less the sample, the less reliable the result. Moreover,is the result reliable and objective?(这里感觉有点混乱，由survey转入result，但是这个result到底指什么？根据前文看像是指survey的result，但是后面的内容貌似又是说作弊数量下降这一结果，到底是哪一个呢？) Maybe the students just want tocope with the researcher.（没看明白这里到底想说什么原因，跟后面的so一句及后面内容有什么必然联系？） So there would be other alternativeexplanations for the decrease. It is possible that the studentsenrolled in Groveton College are of high competitive, they can get highgrades without using such bad actions as cheating, or the examinationin this college is much easier than before.（前面的是两句话吧？run-on sentence？另外，对于or前面那个理由，怎么解释之前的cheating incident比较多这一现象呢？） Without ruling out thesepossible explanations, the argument could not convince us that thehonor codes are the cause of the declining figure of cheating incidents.
这一段从质疑survey到对人数下降的结果的可靠性的怀疑，想法很好，但是中间results那个地方没说清是个败笔，而且没处理好前一段和它的关系，这个主要是前一段的问题了。

The arguer evenassumes that if these institutions adopt the same measures, they woulddecrease their cheating incidents efficiently. However, the arguerfails to consider the differences between these institutions and Groveton College. Maybe the students in these institutions are afraid of being revenged, so they could not notify faculty members even theyknow the others have cheated. Or these institutions might have other factors that could not influence the effect of the honor codes.（这里的other factors 到底是哪些呢？） Unlessthe arguer could substantiate that no difference between theseinstitutions and Groveton College, he/she could not convince us thatother institutions would achieve a decline of the cheating incidents.
这一段找的是错误类比的问题，但还是觉得展开的不够。

In conclusion, thisargument is unconvincing as its stands.To improve this argument, thearguer should cite more evidences to substantiate that the honor codecan in fact lead a success of combating cheating incidents, and thearguer should also convince us that these students would stand to thehonor code. For better evaluate the arguer's suggestion, we should knowthat whether these institutions have the same situation as in GrovetonCollege, and whether the honor code could guarantee a decline in theseinstitutions.


首先指出一点，这篇文章某些地方模板痕迹比较重，当然如果写好了也没问题，只是觉得有的段落仅仅使用模板而没有很好的展开批驳。
另外觉得前两个批驳段中批驳的东西有点混乱，都讲到了人数下降这一结果的可靠性问题，却归结到两个大类中去。。
最近觉得argument实在是不好写，我也混乱的很，改的也挺痛苦的，以后有必要大家一起好好研究一下这个问题。。

heliappleUID: 2621347

1# GG86_Fly
The argument suggests that the institutions which have reported dramatic rise in cheating should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which seem to have achieved a success by using honor codes. However, by careful examining this argument, the suggestion may be not as useful as the arguer advocate.
开头简洁有力，挺不错的

The suggestion is based on the arguer's assumption that the honor code has proven a success (succeeded ) in Groveton College. In fact, the declining number reported by students could not substantiate that there are fewer students cheating in academic endeavors. It is entirely possible that the figure during the five-period is high, but decrease in the fifth year, thus it make an illusion to the arguer that students are less likely to cheat in academic endeavors. If it is the case, the fifth figure could make no sense to the arguer's assumption.
没有说明什么是honor code, 直接在本段中引出declining number reported by students让人感到不太适应。Cheating cases为什么又会在第５年突然降低了呢？虽然这是一种解释方法，但是又给人新的疑问。

Even if the figure had dropped, the arguer could not attribute this phenomenon to the honor code. Although the survey seems to certify the useful impact on students, but (去掉but)the authenticity of this survey is suspicious. How many students engaged in this survey? Does the number is large enough? As we all know, the less the sample, the less reliable the result(没有谓语，这不算是个句子). Moreover, is the result reliable and objective? (本段前面都在说调查是否可信的事，所以moreover的出现有些不妥)Maybe the students just want to cope with the researcher. So there would be other alternative explanations for the decrease. It is possible that the students enrolled in Groveton College are of high competitive, they can get high grades without using such bad actions as cheating, or the examination in this college is much easier than before. Without ruling out these possible explanations, the argument could not convince us that the honor codes are the cause of the declining figure of cheating incidents.

The arguer even assumes that if these institutions adopt the same measures, they would decrease their cheating incidents efficiently. However, the arguer fails to consider the differences between these institutions and Groveton College. Maybe the students in these institutions are afraid of being revenged, so they could not notify faculty members even they know the others have cheated. Or these institutions might have other factors that could not influence the effect of the honor codes. Unless the arguer could substantiate that no difference between these institutions and Groveton College, he/she could not convince us that other institutions would achieve a decline of the cheating incidents (decline the cheating incidents by applying the honor code).

In conclusion, this argument is unconvincing as its stands (it stands).To improve this argument, the arguer should cite more evidences to substantiate that the honor code can in fact lead a success of combating cheating incidents, and the arguer should also convince us that these students would stand to the honor code.(这句没看懂) For (To) better evaluate the arguer's suggestion, we should know that whether these institutions have the same situation as in Groveton College, and whether the honor code could guarantee a decline in these institutions.
论证还是挺合理的，语言也不错，有些小问题但是无伤大雅