TOEFL集结号 暑期集中突破小组

奔跑蜗牛UID: 2579189

TOEFL 集结号暑期集中突破小组

报名的同学注意查看短消息

适合加入的同学：暑期有固定时间上网学习的，积极、认真、有着乐于助人的精神的。已经对托福有所了解了的，新手请看
1.新手必读 https://bbs.gter.net/thread-912313-1-1.html
2.IBT常见问题解答 https://bbs.gter.net/thread-792158-1-1.html
3.OG （官方指南）
4.端正态度 https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=930665&highlight=

鉴于上一次小组的一些问题，报了名就销声匿迹，交了作文只等着别人批改，不给其他同学批改的。所以本组加上了入组条件。
小组活动：包括每周参加作文批改，每周两篇。听力、口语、阅读等。
先报名的同学可去参加
作文题纲的头脑风暴
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-977599-1-1.html
活动时间：暂定7.15左右
招收人数:暂定20人左右
入组条件：
1.        跟帖（ID、考试时间、地点、QQ、MSN号等）
2.        自己的备考日志
3.        交一篇作文
4.        改楼上同学的作文
做到以上四点，本人短消息通知
小组的群号
现在附上样本
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ID: 我爱寄托
考试时间：8.8
考试地点：北京外语学院
QQ、MSN：22626372、无
备考日志：http……（写自己的日志帖子，日志贴格式不限，随意就好）
作文
Coincidence with the increasing……
……
From what we discussed above, I am convinced to take the conclusion that it is very important for us students, especially who study at university, to have a distinct culture course that will bring 100% long-term benefits.

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ＩＤ：我爱ＧＴＥＲ　改楼上
ＩＤ：我爱寄托　的作文
Coincidence with the increasing……
……
From what we (^have) discussed above, I am convinced to take the conclusion that it is very important for us students, especially who study at university, to have a distinct culture course that will bring 100% long-term benefits.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ＩＤ：我爱ＧＴＥＲ
……
同上面的了
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奔跑蜗牛UID: 2579189

统一一下报名帖子作文的题目

In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay(from tw185).

grekokomoUID: 2441677

SPT
蜗牛辛苦啦
:kiss:

corpuscleUID: 2503411

米分了，SPT

小籁UID: 2392665

加油~~~
支持~~~

一木菩提UID: 2390164

spt~~

thatllUID: 2538832

ID: thatll
考试时间：8.289
考试地点：浙江教育考试院
QQ、MSN：308090700；wanghonglang2008@hotmail.com
备考日志：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-977042-1-1.html
作文：
Now people are living longer now and we can see many much older men and women. The average of the age people live is consequently increasing gradually. What causes this phenomenon? They are various answers. Let me discuss it as follows.

Firstly, the medical science is developing greatly and hence we can receive much better treatment in the hospital. In the past, many diseased could not be cured by our human beings and we saw many people died without any ways to help them. In particular, plague is a horrible thing whether in the past or at present, but there is no possibility that the tragedy happened in the 1930’s can recur now because we human beings have the ability to struggle with any plague such as H1N1 and SARS. Further more, now there are many healthful tonics and wholesome diets which can effectively help people to live longer and better. With the development of the medical science, we are more cognitive with our own body, which can lead to better conscious of what we need and then protect ourselves more effectively, which is helpful to live longer.

Secondly, people are paying more and more attention to the health of their own, and the health consciousness is increasing among the folks. Besides healthful diets, people also actively take participate in the exercise. Ten years ago, when I was in middle school, we could hardly see people take exercise in the morning in the countryside. At that time, people had no such health sense. However, now in the morning, we can see many people do exercise, especially the old. Therefore, old people are become more and more healthy. People aged 70—80 can still walk expeditiously and can not be seen as ones with that age. Besides the old, people aged about 40 also pay more attention to their own health. They learn to balance the time between work and leisure and the gradually realize that health is the first to be considered. If the awareness of health becomes more and more universe, with the corresponding measures taken by the government, we can predict that the average age can still increase especially among the people in the country.

Finally, we also have much healthier environment now. With more trees and grasses and fewer junks, we can live much more comfortable now. Although the industrialization brings more or less destroys to the environment, the advancement it brings to us is greater than its negative influence.


I think many other reasons can also attribute to the phenomenon of living longer. But the invariable thing is that people are indeed living longer and longer.

honey67UID: 2645316

ID: honey67
Date：Aug.1  2009
考试地点：Hayward, CA
QQ、MSN：77069985    nurbiya67@hotmail.com
备考日志：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=978333&extra=
作文：
In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay(from tw185).

It is obvious that nowadays people are living much more longer than our ancestors used to do before. Lots of historical reports and books would indicate that it was a dream for the people to live till age of  70s or even 60s decades ago . However, now ,it is not something impossible to achieve anymore. Instead ,we could see lots of old people  live up to more than 100 years of age which is fascinating. The reasons contributed to this huge difference would vary from places to places and person to person, but the fundamental reasons are stated as below:

Any progress or improvement in our life would never apart from the influences of economic growth and technology developments. Same rule applies to the our health situation. Scientists started to do much complicated and sophisticated researches with the help of improved technology and tools greatly after the industrial revolutionary work. Many diseases used to be defined as incurable or fatal  to our lives are now never threatening our life anymore. For instance, few decades ago, many people  died from Malaria diseases ,which would happen more frequently in the tropical areas and caused by the infections of parasites ,without any method or medicine to cure. Quite by accident one of my closet friend got infected when she went to Africa a year ago , but we are so lucky that with the current medical technology, her life was saved.


We can never deny that the sanitary situation has improved a lot from those many years ago. I remember  we used to hear lots of news that some one was affected HIV when he is contributing  blood or even when injecting in the hospitals,which was a terrible fate and unfair result to the kind hearted. Whereas now, this is seldom happening around us. At least , everything in the hospitals are sterilized and individually packed without opening before usage.

That more and more people started to concern about their health than ever before  has played a great role on the longevity of current human society. People decided to take more healthy diets and attend to gyms not only for the good looking body shapes, but most importantly for their health and longevity. Whenever we go to gyms, we could see there are lots of middle aged people than younger ones. What they really care is not the shape anymore, but being wealthy on their health.

Going through impossible to possible , the current longevity of our human beings would never be achieved without help of the economic growth , the technology development, the sanitary conditions and people's concern.

***************************************************************************************
Revision of the above essay:

Nowpeople are living longer now (delete one of the “now” )and we cansee many much (more ,because much modifies uncountable noun) oldermen and women. The average of the age people live is consequentlyincreasing gradually. What causes this phenomenon? They are variousanswers. (Is it supposed to be “there be”?)Let me discuss it asfollows.
Y  W( u)d# l3 X/ u# j4 @) n% p
Firstly,the medical science is developing greatly and hence we can receivemuch better treatment in the hospital. In the past, many diseased(diseases)could not be cured by our human beings and we saw manypeople died without any ways to help them. In particular, plague is ahorrible thing whether in the past or at present, but there is nopossibility that the tragedy happened in the 1930’s can recur nowbecause we human beings have the ability to struggle with any plaguesuch as H1N1 and SARS. Further more, now there are many healthful(healthy )tonics and wholesome diets which can effectively helppeople to live longer and better. With the development of the medicalscience, we are more cognitive with our own body, which can lead tobetter conscious of what we need and then protect ourselves moreeffectively, which is helpful to live longer.
7v7 ]. [: x6 t0 L" P6 s
Secondly,people are paying more and more attention (attentions) to the healthof their own, and the health consciousness is increasing among thefolks. Besides healthful (healthy)diets, people also actively take participatein the exercise. (Take part in = participate) Ten years ago, when Iwas in middle school, we could hardly see people take exercise in themorning in the countryside. At that time, people had no such healthsense. However, now in the morning, we can see many people doexercise, especially the old. Therefore, old people are become moreand more healthy. People aged 70—80 can still walk expeditiouslyand can not be seen as ones with that age. Besides the old, peopleaged about 40 also pay more attention to their own health. They learnto balance the time between work and leisure and the graduallyrealize that health is the first to be considered. If the awarenessof health becomes more and more universe(universal), with thecorresponding measures taken by the government, we can predict thatthe average age can still increase especially among the people in thecountry.0 Q0 [& \% M1 G/ ?.L' a! X$ ~

Finally,we also have much healthier environment now. With more trees andgrasses and fewer junks, we can live much more comfortable now.Although the industrialization brings (which is better, brings or brought? )more or less destroys to theenvironment, the advancement it brings to us is greater than itsnegative influence.
V! `"I0 B" q5 F5 O
Ithink many other reasons can also attribute to the phenomenon ofliving longer. But the invariable thing is that people are indeedliving longer and longer.

Comments: Overall, this is a nice article, you made more thorough analysis of the issue and the reasons are typical and rational. Plus, you are wealthy on your vocabularies.That's the good things. :) What you need to pay more attention is just some simple typo or tiny mistakes.
Good luck on your exam preparation!

zongwwwUID: 2330777

ID: zonwww
考试时间：8.30
考试地点：南京东南大学
QQ、MSN：304494578、olivery86@hotmail.com
备考日志：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-978462-1-1.html
作文：
On a cold winter midnight, many relatives and friends were launched to look for my cousin, the son of my aunt. This cousin was often absent from classes, but he did really well in his study. At last, he was founding in a dark classroom reading “Duzhe”—a Chinese magazine. My aunt and some other people hold the position that he will be better when he was a university student, because undertaking courses is an option for students; however, in my opinion, the students in university should attend classes.

First of all, some minor disadvantages to attending courses include both a lack of freedom and little opportunity to learn by himself/herself. As we know, taking part in classes is part of a student’s daily life. Once you get in it and lose the time to quit the course during the first two weeks of the semester, you have no other choice but to continue the lecture. For instance, in the lecture hall, you cannot talk loudly and you should obey the rule of classroom until you pass the final exam. And in these lecture, you will not have your spare time to learn yourself, for you have to write down what the lecturer says, which is a labored assignment.

Even though there may be some one or two shortcomings to attending courses, the advantages far outweigh them. By taking part in the classes, the student has an excellent opportunity to learn about knowledge. The courses students learn in college are designed by professionals and have been rexamined by a number of students. In the process of studying, the speaker can decode how these studies were established. For instance, you may learn that how Einstein develops his world-famous theory. From these experiences, you will find how to learn.

Another advantage to taking parting in lecture is that in class atmosphere, you can develop the ability of cooperation. In modern society, cooperation is the basic need for many projects. People do not have the ability to accomplish a whole project themselves. As is shown in the Apollo Project, more than thirty million engineers joined the program. In class can this ability be well developed.

To sum up, although I agree that there may be a couple of disadvantages to attending course in university, I feel that the advantages are more obvious. In a class program, the students can acquire knowledge given by books and cooperation ability provided by the speaker. In addition, he will find some more time during the afterclass time. In my opinion, these are the two most important goals for students to consider, and attending the class is the best way to achieve.
***************************************************************************************
Revision of the above essay:, u. s' }) D# d6 @3 }& x
It is obvious that nowadays people areliving much more (delete ‘more’)longer than ourancestors used to do before（delete ‘before’与used重复）. Lots of historical reports and books would indicate that it was adream for the people to live till age of  70s or even 80s decadesago. However, now, it is not something (anything)impossible to achieve anymore. Instead ,we could see lots of oldpeople  live up to more than 100 years of age,(非限制性定语从句) which isfascinating. The reasons contributed to this huge difference would vary fromplaces to places and person to person, but the fundamental reasons are statedas below:

Anyprogress or improvement in our life would never apart(apart是副词，改为depart) from the influences of economic growth and technologydevelopments. Same rule applies to the(删) our health situation. Scientists startedto do much complicated and sophisticated researches with the help of improvedtechnology and tools greatly after the industrial revolutionary work. Manydiseases used to be defined as incurable or fatal  to our lives arenow never threatening our life anymore. For instance, few decades ago, manypeople died from Malaria diseases ,which would happen more frequently inthe tropical areas and caused by the infections of parasites ,without anymethod or medicine to cure. Quite by accident one of my closet friends got infected when she went to Africaa year ago , but we are so lucky that with the current medical technology, herlife was saved. 作者在前面提到economic，而后的论述说明没有提到（属于挑毛病了）。

We can never deny that the sanitary situation has improved a lot from thosemany years ago. I remember  we used to hear lots of news that someone was affected HIV when he is contributing  blood or even wheninjecting in the hospitals,which was a terrible fate and unfair result to thekind hearted. Whereas now, this is seldom happening around us. At least ,everything in the hospitals are sterilized and individually packed withoutopening before usage.

That more and more people started to concern about theirhealth than ever before  has played a great role on the longevity ofcurrent human society. People decided to take more healthy diets and attend to(删除) gyms not only for thegood looking body shapes, but most(more)importantly for their health and longevity. Whenever we go to gyms, we couldsee there are lots of middle aged people than younger ones. (此句建议修改一下，这句对支持论点关系不大)Whatthey really care is not the shape anymore, but being wealthy on their health.

Going throughimpossible to possible , the current longevity of our human beings would neverbe achieved without help of the economic growth , the technology development,the sanitary conditions and people's concern.(建议结尾写的丰满一点，此结尾和前面的精彩论述相比，有些单调)


评论: 文章写得非常赞，文笔精美，论述精彩。有些修改之处我真的是挑毛病了，对不住了。建议中间段加些连接词，对于理清逻辑结构很有效。

dingxiangziUID: 2556230

ID: dingxiangzi
考试时间：8.22~" ]$ d, C/ g( L$ n  Q
考试地点：河南科技大学' K) U1 j2 \# |$ Q. c9 b: C" U
QQ：274432952、summoncourage@gmail.com, o4 V! D; K" ?) x8 l
备考日志：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=978560&extra=
作文：
In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay

While human beings usually have a life expectancy of merely 30 to 40 years hundreds years ago, today it is common to expect a 70 years life expectancy for most of the people. In fact in some countries the average life expectancy has reached 80 or even higher. The reasons behind this drastic change from my point of view are listed as follows:

Firstly, higher working efficiency has greatly reduced people’s working load and therefore remove away much of the physical and psychological burdens that people in the past have to endure. Science and technology has brought a great revolution to our life and librated us from the heavy burden of hunting animals, harvesting and processing foods, building shelters and so on. People today have more free time to relax, to do exercise, and do what they think meaningful. This improvement in life quality brought forward by increasing working efficiency has contribute a lot to people’ s longer life expectancy.

Secondly, people today generally enjoy better nutrients and better medical services. The industrialization of food processing has enabled us to take in food in a more scientific and through manner. Malnutrition and hungry has been considerably reduced due to the Green Revolution and fertilizer development. Enjoying food with a better quality is a critical reason for people’s longer life expectancy. Medical services have also developed a lot. The hygiene education has awaken people’s sense of health and food safety. The medical care and insurance system has allowed people to cure their illness in time regardless of their income or social status. The improved medical technology and pharmaceutical industry has allowed most of the incurable diseases to be common ones today. And the prevention and control system for infectious diseases has protected people from the past horrible and lethal epidemics.

As a whole, the ultimate reason accounting for this dramatic improvement is that we, human beings has gained a more advanced understanding of the surrounding environments and ourselves, as indicated by the accomulation of knowledge and advancement of science and technology. We surely will enjoy a better future as long as we continue on this pursuit.

Revision of the above essay:, u. s' }) D# d6 @3 }& x3 c$ w7 A: }, ]0 K2 |

On a cold winter midnight, many relatives and friends were launched to look for my cousin, the (a)son of my aunt. This cousin was often absent from classes, but he did really well in his study. At last, he was founding(found) in a dark classroom reading “Duzhe”—a Chinese magazine. My aunt and some other people hold the position that he will be better when he was(is) a university student, because undertaking courses is an option for students; however, in my opinion, the students in university should attend classes.(开头段的例子有点突兀，不如给个general background)
. m- m2 ^1 @# b+ a% J* L2 ~
First of all, some minor disadvantages to attending courses include both a lack of freedom and little opportunity to learn by himself/herself.(Truly attending classes may  result in a lack of freedom and the chance to learn by himself/herself.) As we know, taking part in classes is part of a student’s daily life. Once you get in it and lose the time to quit the course during the first two weeks of the semester, you have no other choice but to continue the lecture. For instance, in the lecture hall, you cannot talk loudly and you should obey the rule of classroom until you pass the final exam. And in these lecture, you will not have your spare time to learn yourself, for you have to write down what the lecturer says, which is a labored assignment. # \2 ]" ]  C+ ^: w! D

Even though there may be some one or two shortcomings to attending courses, the advantages far outweigh them. By taking part in the classes, the student has an excellent opportunity to learn about knowledge. The courses students learn in college are designed by professionals and have been reexamined by a number of students. In the process of studying, the speaker can decode how these studies were established. For instance, you may learn that how Einstein develops his world-famous theory. From these experiences, you will find how to learn.
  _% N' J8 b) T9 O
Another advantage to taking parting in lecture is that in class atmosphere, you can develop the ability of cooperation. In modern society, cooperation is the basic need for many projects. People do not have the ability to accomplish a whole project themselves. As is shown in the Apollo Project, more than thirty million engineers joined the program. In class can this ability be well developed. (感觉论证有点跑偏)
  u4 s+ Z5 `# m4 j; s
To sum up, although I agree that there may be a couple of disadvantages to （in） attending course in university, I feel that the advantages are more obvious. In a class program, the students can acquire knowledge given by books and cooperation ability provided by the speaker. In addition, he will find some more time during the afterclass （extra-class） time. In my opinion, these are the two most important goals for students to consider, and attending the class is the best way to achieve.
总体感觉句子有点累赘，不够简练，文章的条理需要加强，前后层次不太鲜明。 讲合作能力时，论点是taking part in lecture may improve one’s sense of cooperation，但论证起来却成了cooperation的重要性，Apollo的例子不是很恰当。

出来吧葡萄UID: 2658129

ID: 出来吧葡萄
考试时间：8.22
考试地点：山东大学威海分校
QQ：150518073
备考日志：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=978710&extra=
作文：
185.In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

Nowadays, we could always know some long-lived persons through mass media, especially through TV news. From my point of view, the reasons for which people could live longer now might be concluded as follows.

First of all, living condition has been becoming increasingly good, leading to the result that people would receive enough nutrients not only to support the basic survival but also to strengthen their bodies. For instance, citizens in China today, in most areas, could choose foods that they like or need, supplying themselves with carbohydrates, vitamins, mineral matters, and every other element they eager to take in. And for those whose health condition is relatively worse, so many kinds of supplements could be acquired to promote it. However, when we take a look at China around 1960s, many of the young would appreciate that they were not born at that period of time. Shortage of food, cloth, and many other things was almost the memory of every person through that time. Is it possible to expect longevity under such living condition? The answer is obviously not.

Secondly, people today are willing to pay much more attention to both physical and psychological health. To further understand this point, one need only take a look at the stadiums and parks which are among residential areas. As for me, doing certain amount of physical exercise is the indispensable part of my everyday schedule. It costs me one hour at least every morning to play badminton, which makes me feel so vigorous during the new day. On the other hand, psychological health has gotten increasing recognition these years. Increasing number of people would resort to psychologists when they feel upset or confused rather than staying alone signing. This concept of communication with psychologists would release people from high pressure, making them mentally healthy.

Finally, with the progress of medical technology, some diseases that were deemed as fatal disasters are now could be cured. Researches have brought about kinds of antibiotics which could be applied to struggle against noxious organisms. Transplantation makes it possible that defective organ could be replaced by another fresh, healthy one. Even patients with leukemia could recover when compatible stem cells are found. Technology in medical field could always bring us life surprises.

To sum up, longevity in modern society is the result of factors discussed above, including promoting material life condition, increasing awareness of health, and the highly developed medical technology. I believe, with further progress of the whole society, human lifespan could reach another peak.

改楼上作文：习惯用word插入批注改作文，但是我的权限还不能上传附件...从word拷过来就是这样了。
In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay

While human beings usually have a life expectancy of merely 30 to 40 years hundreds years ago, today it is common to expect a 70 years life expectancy for most of the people[F1] . In fact in some countries the average life expectancy has reached 80 or even higher. The reasons behind this drastic change from my point of view[F2] are listed as follows:

Firstly, higher working efficiency has greatly reduced people’s working load and therefore remove away much of the physical and psychological burdens that people in the past have to endure. Science and technology has brought a great revolution to our life and librated us from the heavy burden of hunting animals, harvesting and processing foods, building shelters and so on[F3] . People today have more free time to relax, to do exercise, and do[F4] what they think meaningful. This improvement in life quality brought forward by increasing working efficiency has contribute a lot to people’ s longer life expectancy.[F5]

Secondly, people today generally enjoy better nutrients and better medical services. The industrialization of food processing[F6] has enabled us to take in food in a more scientific and through manner. Malnutrition and hungry has been considerably reduced due to the Green Revolution and fertilizer development. Enjoying food with a better quality is a critical reason for people’s longer life expectancy. Medical services have also developed a lot. The hygiene education has awaken [F7] people’s sense of health and food safety. The medical care and insurance system has allowed people to cure their illness in time regardless of their income or social status. The improved medical technology and pharmaceutical industry has allowed most of the incurable diseases to be common[F8] ones today. And the prevention and control system for infectious diseases has protected people from the past horrible and lethal epidemics.

As a whole, the ultimate reason accounting for this dramatic improvement is that we, human beings has gained a more advanced understanding of the surrounding environments and ourselves, as indicated by the accomulation[F9] of knowledge and advancement of science and technology. We surely will enjoy a better future as long as we continue on this pursuit.[F10]

总结：
想到的论点比较充足，包括：工作效率提高、营养条件改善、医疗服务提高。但是建议把后两条分成两段，这样更清晰，另外多加一些论据。
少量拼写错误，建议写完先拿到word检查一下。
我今天第一天写托福作文，思路还不是很清楚。不当之处请包涵。

[F1]主从句重复部分显得有点罗嗦
[F2]感觉放在句首好一些
[F3]And so forth高级一点，个人感觉
[F4]跟前面不太平衡，to？
[F5]这段整体来说还是一个重复问题，比如working efficiency，life expectancy，找一些替代词会好些。
[F6]食品生产过程的工业化与营养、饮食习惯关系有点牵强，可以说人们观念改变，更加注重营养和养生
[F7]awakened
[F8]recoverable好一些
[F9]accumulation
[F10]最后的总结出现了新观点：advanced understanding of the surrounding environments and ourselves。这个观点在前面并没有很明确的论述，个人感觉不应该在总结部分出现新东西，之概括就好。

iscongcongUID: 2592112

ID: iscongcong
考试时间：8.月正在刷
考试地点：天津


QQ：371714832
备考日志：7、1--7、7 跟读，听写part3
7.8-7.14 开始做题，准备口语
7.15-7.19 全力准备小作文和口语3-6题
7.20-7.28词汇复习，巩固口语（随学校外出实习）
7.29-8.n号做模拟题
作文：（因为在家资料不足，作文写得实在是有点牵强）185.In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

In recent years, we have watched the phenomenon that, more and more people are living longer than ever before. As far as I concerned, the reasons for this drastic change are as follows.

First, people are coming to leading a healthier way of life than ever before. From 1980’s, people in China pay more attention to healthy food and diet: organic food attracts more people even with higher price. In addition, all kinds of exercises play a more important role in people’s life. With the advancement of working efficiency, it releases people’s working load and therefore remove away much physical and psychological burdens that people have to endure. They have more free time to do exercise, to relax, to do whatever benefit for the health. For example, in the last ten years, the number of gym clubs rushes greatly in our town, and more people participates in the activities. Exercise is becoming an indispensible part of our daily life.


Secondly, the progress of the medical science and treatment in the hospital is a critical reason. Nowadays, the experts and doctors know more about the diseases and can deal with it better. Many diseases deadly threatening people’s life could be cured well with better treatment and. Plague is just the case. The H1N1virus which horribly destroyed the world in the 1930’s can be dealt with easily in the whole world. What is more, the transplantation, the inoculation, and all other development exerts great impact on people’s health and longevity.


Simply put, the definitive reason for this striking improvement is that we, human beings has gained a more advanced understanding of the surrounding environments and ourselves, as indicated by the accumulation of knowledge and advancement of science and technology. We surely will enjoy a better future as long as we continue on this pursuit.


上面的作文：Nowadays, we could always know some long-lived persons through mass media, especially through TV news. From my point of view, the reasons for which（why） people could live longer now might be concluded as follows. 6 Z: d* V" N9 O$ K  X
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First of all, living condition has been becoming(个人觉得 are becoming好一点) increasingly good, which leads(ing) to the result that people would receive enough nutrients not only to support the basic survival but also to strengthen their bodies. For instance, citizens in China today, in most areas, could choose foods that they like or need, supplying themselves with carbohydrates, vitamins, mineral matters, and every other element(s) they eager to take in. And for those whose health condition is relatively worse, so many kinds of supplements could be acquired to promote( it). However, when we take a look at China around 1960s, many of the young would appreciate that they were not born at that period of time. Shortage of food, cloth, and many other things was almost the memory of every person through that time. Is it possible to expect longevity under such living condition? The answer is obviously not. ; K( d, [* @: |# n9 r
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Secondly, people today are willing to pay much more attention to both physical and psychological health. To further understand this point, one need only take a look at the stadiums and parks (which are) among residential areas. As for me, doing certain amount of physical exercise is the indispensable part of my everyday schedule. It costs me one hour at least every morning to play badminton, which makes me feel so vigorous during the new day. (这个句子有问题)On the other hand, psychological health has gotten increasing recognition these years. Increasing number of people would resort to psychologists when they feel upset or confused rather than staying alone signing. This concept of communication with psychologists would release people from high pressure, making them mentally healthy. . r! ^( R/ p- E6 x1 S; S7 K
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Finally, with the progress of medical technology, some diseases that were deemed as fatal disasters are now could be cured. Researches have brought about kinds of antibiotics which could be applied to struggle against noxious organisms. Transplantation makes it possible that defective organ could be replaced by another fresh, healthy one. Even patients with leukemia could recover when compatible stem cells are found. Technology in medical field could always bring us life surprises.（觉得这段写的好） + F; U" E) f: R
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To sum up, longevity in modern society is the result of factors discussed above, including promoting（improvement of觉得换成名词舒服些） material life condition, increasing awareness of health, and the highly developed medical technology. I believe, with further progress of the whole society, human lifespan could reach another peak
觉得语言有点生硬

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我也占个坑，晚上写作文之后贴上来，另外备考日志不一定要在这个论坛吧，我在其他地方写的日志把地址贴过来应该也可以吧？http://bbs.sjtu.edu.cn/bbscon?board=EnglishTest&file=M.1245595040.A

作文：
In the past few decades, people all around the world live longer and longer, especially those in developing countries. Although this may bring more pressure to the earth with limited resources, all of us view the extended lives as positive progress. Several reasons，brought about by the development of technology, rising awareness of health as well as peaceful world, contribute to our longer lives.

For starters, last century witnessed the booming of technology, which accounted for a great many breakthroughs in the fields of medicine and biology directly and thus dramatically increased the well-being of human kind indirectly. The inventions of new drugs and medical equipment decrease the patients' risks of exposing to untreatable diseases. The doctors, on the other hand, can also extend the lives of the patients who are dying due to the more advanced bio-medical technology.

In addition, people attach greater importance to their health than they did in the past. For example, they choose healthy diet, take regular exercisers, and sometimes even spend much money on keeping fit. The governments of various countries also realize the importance of health of the citizens. And diverse measures or policies have been enforced to improve the health condition, such as medical reform, medicine insurance and health research funding. Through the combined efforts of individuals and countries, there is no doubt that we can live longer and longer.



More importantly, the world experienced peace for a relatively long period. Peace and development have become the theme of the modern times and few countries choose warfare to solve the issues. Thus the citizens don't have to suffer economically, spiritually and physically the damages brought by the wars. For example, the second world war killed not only millions of soldiers but also even more average people. All this dramatically decrease the expectancy age all around the world.

The reasons above together bring us to a century where we can enjoy better and longer life. Although the aging society will give more pressure to the young generation who are actually creating wealth for the whole world and feeding those aged people, the welfare of the whole society still progress with the increasing expectancy age of people.


上面的同学快点贴哦
In recent years, we have watched(witnessed感觉好一点) the phenomenons thatmore and more people are living longer than ever before. As far as I concerned, the reasons for this drastic change are as follows.

First, people are coming to leading a healthier way of life than ever before. From 1980’s, people in China pay more attention to healthy food and diet: organic food attracts more people even with higher price. In addition, all kinds of exercises play a more important role in people’s life. With the advancement of working efficiency, it releases people’s working load and therefore removes away(away去掉) much physical and psychological burdens that people have to endure. They have more free time to do exercise, to relax, to do whatever benefit for(no for) the health. For example, in the last ten years, the number of gym clubs rushes greatly in our town, and more people participates in the activities. Exercise is becoming an indispensible part of our daily life./ H; e% m* F# C+ p2 J) A# {& }' {7 r
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Secondly, the progress of the medical science and treatment in the hospital is a critical reason. Nowadays, the experts and doctors know more about the diseases and can deal with it(them) better. Many diseases deadly threatening people’s life(in the past?) could be cured well with better treatment and(and what?). Plague is just the case. The H1N1virus which horribly destroyed the world in the 1930’s can be dealt with easily in the whole world(now?). What is more(What’s more, idiomatic), the transplantation, the inoculation, and all other development exerts great impact on people’s health and longevity.
C

Simply put, the definitive reason for this striking improvement is that we, human beings has (have)gained a more advanced understanding of the surrounding environments and ourselves, as indicated by the accumulation of knowledge and advancement of science and technology. We surely will enjoy a better future as long as we continue on this pursuit.

可能时间比较仓促，觉得写得比较急，文章可以更加丰满一点，同时写完以后稍微检查一下可以避免很多简单语法错误，继续一起加油哦

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