08的作文修改小铺子

jiang08UID: 2391146

OG上测试的那个作文。超时了几分钟。之后又简单修改了明显的拼写和语法错误。望狠批。
Topic: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to suport your opinion.

Two weeks ago, one of my good friends phoned（called） me, telling me that she moved out of her home and tried to earn her own living. That is the third call telling me their so-called independent behavior. However, I can not endorse such idea and I hold the view that we should live a longer time with our parents until we really have the ability to support ourselves. 这开头贴近生活，我觉得比什么“nowadays 有很多年轻人喜欢搬出去住”要好很多

To start with, young adults still need someone guide their life. As we are living in a ever-changing society, the complexity of outside world is still not familiarized by（familiar to） young adults. For example, we have not enough experience to judge whether the community we live is safe and whether the place we work in is a standard(legitimate)  company. Laking (Lacking) the life experience is the greatest weak point exists on our (existing in) young adults. At this moment, parents can act as the most helpful guide; they are glad to share their own experience at your age and they carefully give advice on your future plan.(注意人称统一，之前用得是we)  I deem it as the best way for young adults to apporch the complicated society gradually.

In addition, we can also learn to be independent at home with our family. Living alone is not the only criteria of independence. Why can't us（we） learn to be independent at our home instead of alone outside? 这句话和前两句的意思重复，累赘了 For instance, we can learn to wash our clothses by our own hands, not depending on our parents. Likewise, we can learn to cook, not only for ourselves but also for the household. Don't you regard these behavior as being independent as well? For me, independent（名词） is a extremely wide conception; we can adopt this nice quality via every trivia. The first time you make your bed, the first time you neaten（这个词很少用吧？建议clean/straighten） your desk can also be looked as (look的用法不妥；is also) the symbol of becoming independent.

In summary, it is not necessary for young adult to leave their parents as soon as possible, for parents can guide you（人称一致，前半句是young adults，这里用them） to be more independendt and home is also a good training center for being independent. Apparently, through the above analyses（拼写）, we can safely arrive （缺at）the conclusion that it is better for young adults to live a longer time with the parents. Thus, I sincerely hope my "independent" friends can be back to their home to enjoy the prossess to be a real independent individual.
lxriris 发表于 2009-8-3 13:54

第二个论点角度很好；最后和开头也呼应而且不太俗

gtqscatUID: 2556402

224# jiang08

多谢前辈~~

jiang08UID: 2391146

又要麻烦您了~

test：你觉得modern technology 是帮助孩子们learn more information or help learn it more quickly

Deciding what function of modern technology in helping students' study is quite difficult. Some people claims that it can help students learn more information, while others claim it can help students learn more quickly. There might be some reasons that it may help students learn information more quickly; however, from personal perspective, I believe that modern technology can enrich students' knowledge, that is to say, it can let students learn more information.

To begin with, satisfied with the opinion that the modern technology can help students learn information more quickly are those people who hold view that it add（单数） many other element (复数) during student's student (这句话太长太拗口；建议：Some people hold that modern XXXXX in that it adds many other XXXXX), such as sound and image, which can accelerate the studying efficiency. According a result of recent study （experiment 多余） on（in，实验对象不是厦门省，而且厦门不是省……） Xiamen province, almost ninety percent（缺of the） students（没有设定实验对象群体，不知道百分之90是相对谁来说的） claims that only reading books is such a boring thing that they cannot insist for more than two hours, but using modern technology, like video, computer, is making a different（名词）. They found knowledge can be accepted （建议加个more）quickly, since the sound and images give them deep impression, and therefore they found themselves learn it more quickly than reading books.（therefore后面的内容是多余，跟下划线一个意思） Thus, people think the modern technology can help students learn information more quickly.这段第一句话就说到了“声色提高学习效率”，到最后一句还是停留在同样层次上，加个地点状语是没有用的，能不能具体写比如某个学科用了多媒体之后小孩子能连续学习多久啊之类的。另外考虑到这是让步段，可以短一点。（短和具体是不矛盾的）

Considerable though reasons that modern technology can accelerat1e the speed of studying enjoys are（这句语法很有问题，建议：Admittedly, modern technology sometimes can accelerate the study process, but）, they cannot compete with (缺the fact)  that it can help students learn more information, when the following aspects are taken into consideration.

First of all, modern technology, such as computer, can enlarge the students' knowledge scope（scope of knowledge）. Owning to the development of internet, which（缺is） based on the computer, students can search more answers on the internet, which help them learn more information directly. It can provide more information than books, or even more than encyclopedias. No matter what students want to ask, it（这里主语应该是学生） always can find answers on the internet, especially nowadays,（when） the search tools are advance（advanced）. For example, when a student is reading the mathematic book, and come up with a question about history of a formula, he or she can use the modern technology to search the information he or she questioned, at the same time, s/he（没有这个写法 he/she） can learn lots of knowledge that are related to this certain problems. Therefore, the modern technology can enlarge students' knowledge scope.

Moreover, some subjects cannot learn（被动） through modern technology, no matter whether if can (whether/if是重复，这里缺主语，看不懂) let students learn more quickly, such as math. The deduction of a math formula is quite complex, and （through多余） modern technology may lead to some problems, such as more confusing about the concept of the formula, because when understand（XXXing） a formula, people need to deduce it all themselves, and showing some PowerPoint or watching some videos can do nothing.  为什么科技会让人解题的时候困惑？

It is true that using modern technology can help students learn information more quickly, yet modern technology can help students learn more information directly, when some characteristics of certain subjects are taken into consideration.gaolingno1 发表于 2009-8-3 15:07

首先 题目要你在“更多”和“更快”里面选一个，你选择了更多，但是论证的时候没有说出来为什么是更多而不是更快，你只是相应地写了更多和更快的好处，而最后一段说数学方程的例子不太恰当，造成干扰的是多媒体信息本身，和更多/更快没有关系。因此，建议你写成平衡观点：又快又多
另外请复习一下定语从句和状语从句的用法

tigerzxUID: 2669737

谢谢225楼的修改先
觉得自己还是缺乏观点，举例也太笼统了，写着写着范围就被我无限放大了，希望下次能有所改正
再次感谢

lxririsUID: 2664356

谢谢批改！感激不尽！果然在有限的时间内写文章还是会出现不少错误。
想问一个问题。OG第七题说 How do movies or television influence the people's behavior. 像这样的题目列举了movies和television两个那么文章是把这两个看作一个整体写还是分开写呢?再就是如果写的是the influence of people's life 算不算跑题呢？

gaolingno1UID: 2670463

72. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.  

再次麻烦您了
提纲
1：成绩帮助学生了解学习状况，所以促进学习
2：成绩可以引起同学直接的良性竞争，而这种竞争促进学生不断学习
3：好成绩可以增加成就感，自信，而这积极态度促进学习
综上，成绩促进学习。。
--------------------一边倒了...

When it comes to the topic that what encourage students to learn, people will come up with many answers, such as teacher's award, grades, expectations from parents, and so forth. From personal perspective, I believe that it is grades that encourage students to learn.

In the first place, as far as I am concerned, I found that the grades can spur students to learn in that the marks can reflect the condition of a student’s learning. As it is known, it is the exams that most teachers used to evaluate students’ performance in learning, because the paper can demonstrate that what students have learned and what they did not master. For example, I have taken a math exam, and my mark was not satisfied. In accordance to analyzing the paper and the questions that I did the wrong answer, I will would know what I did not acquire or what I need to focus on next time, and therefore I found the weaknesses myself and made a decision to correct or improve them next time. From this point, it is the grades show me that where I am wrong and what are my weaknesses, meanwhile it encourages me to promote the further study.

Furthermore, grades not only reflect what students learnt, but also can cause positive competitions in the same class, which encourage students to learn more  indirectly. On one hand, after the teacher hand off the paper, students will compare their marks with the others'. According to such compare, the self-respect will promote students to catch up with those students whose grades are higher than them, which result in a positive competition in class. On the other hand, such competition is extraordinary essential for the future career development, since the real society is composed of competition and cooperation. Thus, we can safely to draw a conclusion that students can learn more through comparing the marks with other students, which means that marks encourage students learn indirectly.

Last but not least, high marks, especially the mark with the one's hard work and perspiration, can help students to gain a kind of sense of achievement; it can promote student's confidence to some extent. Common sense and experience informs us that such confidence and sense of achievement is playing an essential role in a student's grown. Confidence can make a student hold positive attitudes to the tomorrow, can make a student’s tolerate his frustration and failure. Such positive attitudes toward to learning can act as a psychological encouragement during the learning process. The more confidence, the more optimistic, and optimistic attitudes can let student be better in academic performance. That is to say, the academic scores not only bring about many positive psychological impacts, but also can promote student’s performance in sphere of academic.

To sum up, it is true that there are many aspects can encourage students learning, yet, I believe that grades play the most vital role during the whole educational process, not only about psychological influences, but also about gaining more knowledge. Grades really encourage students to learn.

--------------------------骄傲的分割了-------------
作文究竟应该写成一边倒还是折衷写~~
也是时gre写多了，总是想让步，再论证，但是现在看到很多人说托福考察的 well development
所以应该一边倒的充分论证...
于是我纠结了...
您的意思是？

jiang08UID: 2391146

麻烦版主帮忙看看我的这篇，谢谢啦:)


In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

One hundred years ago, the average life-expectancy for people in the world was less than 40; this number, however, has doubled currently. A multiple（缺of） factors may contribute to a much longer life, but three fundamental driving force (复数) should stand out, which include the general improvement in medical science and technology, modernization of public health care system and a continuous, stable and
upward
social-economic（socio-economic） environment.

First and foremost, the fabulous development in medical fields in the recent century (recent century指的具体是哪个世纪？) provides the technical opportunity to extend human life. To begin with, large-scale epidemic diseases （这里如果能such as几个已经可以被控制的流行病更好，如索small-pox）have been basically exterminated and （缺are）under well control, due to the advent of effective vaccines. Moreover, advanced medical apparatus inspired by innovations in electronics, mechanics and chemistry has transformed the process of treatment. Not only do these high-tech devices fasten the maturity of modern study of medicine in the sense of more accurate diagnosis and surgeries, but also they stimulate doctors to explore diverse and wider possibilities（搭配不当 greater possibilities） of medicine. In addition, most surprising discovery comes from the genetic therapy, a brand-new method conducted on the molecular level, which permits predicting potential physiological defects before birth of a child, inserting a healthy gene to cure diseases, and even creating new human species with stronger adaptation and longer life.

Furthermore, the appreciable rise in life expectancy should also give credit to the widely establishment of public health systems, mainly supported by governments. Hospitals, medical centers, and sports stadium provide places to cure diseases and improve physical fitness. Besides, International standards of disease-control and health education play a significant role in the general enhancement in public awareness of health. Such contribution becomes especially conspicuous in the recent battle against SARS, bird flu and HIN1 virus, all (加of which can be)
easily contained very soon and corresponding losses being minimized. Thanks to the complete health systems, people gradually abandon harmful living habits, learn the commonsense about frequent disease and human body, and pursue a high-quality life with an exquisite balance between work and health. 医疗体制和人们的生活习惯有什么关系？

From a broader perspective, we can not be blind to a less obvious fact that a world of peace and stability prevents our efforts mentioned above from being impeded or even destroyed. Someone may suggest that regional warfare and conflicts still exist. The general peaceful global environment, however, is the mainstream trend and provides cover for scientific study and construction of public health care systems. What is more important, with increasing international communication and cooperation, countries especially developing countries share the benefit of lasting development in economy and science, thus able to afford a stronger support for human health. 关于第三国家共同发展，这里写的比较抽象，能否给出具体的例子？

To conclude, unnumbered scientific discoveries, widely-established health care systems and a peaceful and upward global environment largely account for a longer and healthier life in current society. Considering future advancement in these aspects optimistically, we may even reach the theoretical limit for human longevity sooner or later.

churchillyh 发表于 2009-8-4 12:32

语言很流畅 用词也很好了
只是论述的时候能加上具体的例子就更好了

jiang08UID: 2391146

谢谢LZ,帮忙修改下哦，多题建议。谢谢，好人好人！


题目： Getting advice from friends who are older than you is more valuable than friends with your same age

People may meet various problems in their life. Sometimes they do not know how to make a decision or who could provide an answer to a certain problem. People usually ask their older friends or friends with same age. Whose advices are more valuable? As far as I am concerned, solving different question should depend on distinct people. My views can be substantiated by the following arguments.

Older friends have more experience than what younger people have. This is because senior people know what is right and wrong. In other words, they may make lots of mistakes and tried many methods to solve a problem which you are going to encounter. As an old saying goes "you can not catch old birds with chaff". If you have some questions which your friends in same ages have not met before need to be solved, you'd better ask an old friend. For example, some things, such as career development, marriage, and even taking care of baby, are unknown areas for （to）you. The older friends can provide suggestions for them rather than younger friends can do. In addition, if you want to obtain advices of keeping health, old friends are the prior selection（first choice）, since old friends underwent illness and healing several times. These examples are not rare. 你的主要观点是“按情况讨论”，那么这一段支持年长朋友，就要在第一句总结性地写出在哪一方面年长朋友占优，然后再开始举例。就你讨论的内容来看，可以总结为：人生中还未有过的经验求助年长朋友更好

So old friends（注意old和elderly的区别；另外old friends指朋友相处时间很长，跟他年纪无关） are worth trusting when your problems need more experienced advices, but some suggestions from the friends in same age are better than elder. Some areas, such as computer, music, dancing, are popular in young people. Although older people have more experience and stories in their lives, they may not know every thing, especially a few modern activities. For example, popular music and rock music are loved by young people while few older people concern them. So they can not provide suggestions.（年长朋友不懂流行音乐 ok ；但是你有什么关于这方面的疑惑需要建议？要写出来。如下也是同理） Also they（离上一个主语已经很远，指代不明） like playing（搭配不当；tinkering with） lots of digital products, such as mobile phone, computer, and even Gameboy, in which elders always feel difficult and ask questions. Is it still necessary to get advices from older friends in such area? Do not you think these examples mentioned above are very persuasive? If all of older friends' advices are valuable than younger people, the society will not develop.

Undeniably, the more situations we experience, the more progress we will make. So if you have problems on your work, health or even family, you could ask the older people rather than younger people. One the other side, if you have troubles on modern activities, younger people who are in your same age（younger和older是和谁相比？这里younger和同龄人是矛盾的） can offer satisfied（satisfying） answers（上文没有写出answers to what）. Both older and younger friends are people's spiritual wealth. Therefore, dissimilar question need advices from different friends.
libra5 发表于 2009-8-4 21:00

分情况讨论很好，前提是每个讨论的开头要写清楚假设成立的条件。
另外注意讨论对象不要偏差：是年长朋友和同龄朋友；不是老年人和年轻人

jiang08UID: 2391146

第一次写，请多多指正！
TOPIC：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

A teacher's ability to relate well with students is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your anwer.

My Writing：
Education is definitely essencial to people, especially to determine（in determining） our human's future. Therefore, thousands of hundreds of (这个只能用来形容可数名词) money and human resoucres contribute to eduction so that our education would be advanced and in this case, teacher plays a vital role, （句号）why? A teacher's abilitiy to relate well with the students is important? Yes, and probably cricial.（crucial） Does that ability is more important that excellent knowledge of the subject being taught?（这句两个动词了；看不清的时候可以先变成陈述句） I believe not.

To be frank, the relationship between teacher and students is basis to（the basis of） education. A enjoyable relationship can enhance the communication and simulate the interesting of study（这里要写明是谁的兴趣；stimulate the students' interest in study）. Compared with an excellent knowledge being taught, interesting (分清名词和形容词)  is much more essencial（拼写） because suppose, for example, if a student have（单数） a talent in the realm of mathematics, （句子太长，这里换句号）however, he does not like the math teacher even if the teacher is the most great（最高级） teaher in the country and his class is vivid. How can an interactivity progess?（这句没看懂？） Therefore, a teacher's good capability can save this hole of relationship（what hole？？？）, and    a talent mathematic genius would be borned.（bored？最后这句完全没懂。这里总结一下老师和学生relate well的好处比较合适）

Nevertheless, it is clear to me that just a nice job of relating well with studentys is insurficient（拼写）. Because learning has （缺a）great many ways, for the college students, independent thought and experiment maybe far outweight （to多余） the traditional class. In this way, student need less help, or even a students group can replace the position of a teacher. For instance, SOVO, namely, students office and Venture office, （be多余） established by only students, it（which） is like a studio or a company. In the SOVO, there is fulfilled with（SOVO is full of） challenges that the projects (and projects which) need much more konwledge than that you learned in your class. So the students have to study by themselves and them use these finish the risks and make productions. Both thoery and practice are all learned by the students themselves. 这段不幸跑题，你整个排除了教师的作用，而题目讨论的是教师的两种能力。

Even though college student reley（拼写） on the teacher less （缺than）that the middle school or high school's students do. The face-to-face communication and discussion enable students （缺to）get more knows（？）. For high school students, they are peaparing for their application to an extraordinary university like Stanford, Harvard or MIT.（不是人人都上TOP名校的。。。） Which the（What） they do need most is certainly obtaining excellent konwledge being taught by their teaher. In the competitive situation, a famous high school's teacher would be accpetd（receive） more respect and higher salary, due to the method of teaching and aboundent （拼写）experience.  What the students care is not the relationship but how to get better（more） knowledge. Consequently,can a（the） ablitity to relate well with students is（be） more impotant than excellent konwledge of the subject being taught? The answer is obvious.

To sum up, a teahcer have（with） a great relationship wth the students in some ways is quite needed（necessary）. However, it（it指什么？注意后面的动词put） cannot put much emphasis when compared with an excellent konwledge （be） taught. 最后一句结构错误很多
FFFFound 发表于 2009-8-4 21:11

简单的拼写和语法错误比较多，可能写得有点心急，注意复习定语从句；另外对于非陈述语序的句子结构把握较弱
其次就是第二个理由跑题，所以要为知识再想一个point

tigerzxUID: 2669737

老师的报酬由学生决定

A few days ago, the Chinese government decided to raise wages for all the teachers. Then an ever-existing and fierce debate comes out again that whether the reward of teachers should be determined by the performance of students. In my opinion, the awards should be consistent with (consist with) teachers' work and the connection between additional awards and the performance of students would have positive stimulation on teachers.

First of all, awards for teachers should be determined by the sweat and the toil that the teachers expend. This mostly obeys the market rule that the value is created by the labour. For instance, when I was in high school, my tutor earned more than other teachers simply by his efforts to teach students. He work hard and he is such a kind and patient one who is willing to answer questions at the expense of holidays. I think the high award is deserved for him and of course, for those good teachers who care more about their work and students.

What is more, it is unfair if the teacher's payment is determined by the performance of his or her student. As known to all, most of the persons can only excel at one or two majors. For example, my best friend and I are all/both good at math but the Chinese is always our limitation and we always got a low score. If the teacher's payment is closely combined with our scores, our Chinese teacher would change another career to make life on with no doubt while our Math teacher should be win more awards. That is to say the students' performance is greatly determined by themselves. The interest, the self-motivated attitude and so on should be the main contribution to the students' performance rather than the teachers' effort.

Last but not least, it is a good method to stimulate the teacher to pay more time or energy on students by paying additional awards according to the performance of students. The teachers' experience, suggestions, ways to release stress and thing like that will undoubtedly help to improve the performance of students.

Based on the reasons listed above, I think it is unfair to determine teachers' awards by students' performance. However, some extra awards concern with the students' performance will enhance the teachers’ enthusiasm.

perceptionUID: 2299669

请jiang08指教 谢谢

Making decision on one's own or having others make decision for us.

People always have to make decisions in his or her life. It is often a hard or even painful moment for us to make decisions, especially the major one. Wondering whether the decision is wise or not, and what impact it will cause is something usually makes us nervous. Hence a lot of people turn to others, like parents or friends, to make decisions for them. However, I think we should bear the responsibility of decision making solely.

The first reason is that in the process of decision making, it is ourselves, not others, are most concerned and best informed. We possess the primarily valuable information about the decisions to be made. We are people who will be affected most intensively by the decisions. Hence it is improper or even risky to having others make decision for us, because they may not only lack adequate knowledge about our preference but also lack incentive to think for us whole heartedly.   For example, when a man faces the decision of choosing a job from several offers, he may go to seek advices from people around him. But there is no one who could make a judgment better than the man himself. In fact, other people are naturally inclined to focus on some superficial indices such as income, but more significant factors, such as how much the man is enthusiastic for the offer, could only be answered by the subject alone.

Another important reason to insist on making decisions by oneself is that it could help one to learn from his or her experiences better and enhance the ability of making decisions in the future. If you take efforts to make the decision by yourself, you will be in a better position to evaluate the pros and cons of the process of decision making when you review it later. You would more easily detect where the problem is and how to handle it in the next time. In contrast, if you have others making the decisions for you, you will only get some good result if you are lucky enough, but you ability will not be improved at all.  

So to sum up, making decisions on one’s own is very beneficial, it could result in a more sound decision and improve our capacity of decision making even further.

lilingziUID: 2637207

Do you agree or disagree: A zoo has no useful purpose.

1.        Disagree
2.        Because a zoo can make children happy and give family a place to enjoy their children.
3.        Because I will acknowledge people some information about the animals and widen their horizon.
4.        However sometimes zoo shows like a prison to wild animals, but we have find some solution to solve this problem like set the zoo into the forest or at the inhabitant which animals live.


When zoo has been settled in many cities and many people get chance to see some rare animal in the cities, an argument which illustrate a opinion that zoo are useless is rising among citizens. For me, a new adult, I do not agree the thought that a zoo is meaningless, because I have got so much joys and knowledge from the zoo, and feel happy there is a place for us that living in the towns to get close to the nature.

To begin with, I concede the opinion that the zoo is a fantastic place to get family happy and closer, because it is a place for children to get fun and fulfill their curiosities, on the other hand, when children get happy, they can bring the whole family more laugh and joy. For instance, when I was a little boy, I like wild animals very much and I showed a lot of interests in them, so when my parents took me to the zoo, I can see the animals which we have mentioned a lot for real and get excited. I kept talking to my parent about the tigers and the birds I had seen in the zoo, when I was describing them, I made my parents laugh a lot. Till now, it is a sweet memory for my whole family.

Furthermore, we can learn much knowledge and the character of the rare animals in the zoo as well, because most of the knowledge we can get is something like the profile voice and food of wild animals which is easier to keep in mind when we touch and observe them by ourselves. For example, my parents used to tell me that most of the harmful snakes have a very colorful appearance, but I cannot remember it at all. When they bring me to the zoo, I saw many snakes in the cage, and I got a chance to observe they biting their prey in the cage, at that moment, I recalled my parents’ words and a remembered them from then on.

To sum up, I have to confess that sometimes to put the wild animals in a cage seems inhumane, but we have found an effective way to solve this problem by setting our zoos in the inhabitant the animals live. In fact, the zoo benefits and teaches us a lot. Considering the goodness, joys and knowledge, zoos brought to us, I support the idea that a zoo is useful.

myproengineerUID: 2658828

水平不是一般差。。第一篇。。
大城市好，还是小城镇好
The majority of people tend to have a favorable attitude toward something. This thing is, which people would live the place as their preference, a big city or a small town, people may give various answers to this question. Some people believe that living a small town has some advantages, such as comfortable and no traffic jam, while others claim they prefer to live in big city, because of more opportunities and higher education. On balance, my favor goes to live in big city.

Living a big city has several benefits. First, there are more job chances readily available in big city than in a small city. For instance, some people Bachelor of Science in biology hope they can find the job in a laboratory after graduation, nevertheless, there is not laboratory of biology in a small town. So the more laboratories have, the more chances is obtained.

Second, children are supposed to be able to receive an education with higher quality compared with their counterparts who live in a small tow. For example, city universities have large numbers of spaces reserved for local residents while they have relatively fewer spaces for student from the countryside.

Living a small town has some advantages. One is that people have a comfortable life style. Because most of them do not have to suffer high working stress. The other is that there has no traffic jam, so people in a small city do not get up early in the morning.

In the final analysis, more opportunities and higher education are part and parcel of living in big city. However, considering the potential problem resulted from living in a small town and the benefits of the other’s, I believe it is sensible to living in a big city.

jellyjarUID: 2678885

楼主真是好人+救星啊！

jellyjarUID: 2678885

太感谢啦！今天刚巧正写了一篇呢~ 很迷茫的 帮我看看吧大侠！
题目是：knowledge learned in school 和 that learned outside schools 那个重要？

There exists a strange diversity in college students nowadays: some of them only focus on the school subjects without knowing the outside world, while others escape school to do full-time jobs holding that experience outside schools is more valuable. As far as I am concerned, either knowledge we get in school or that we obtain outside is what we cannot afford to lack.

On the one hand, schools prepare you for the future career by teaching you the knowledge in your major. Due to the fierce competition in today’s society, a good mastery of your expertise becomes indispensible for a good job and such expertise cannot be obtained outside school. For example, I major in computer science. The knowledge of programming skills and software engineering never come from the social practice. Only the school education can provide me with the instruction in my field efficiently and effectively.

On the other hand, the knowledge outside schools is so practical that lack of such knowledge may make you a freak in the society, thus you are isolated from your group. For instance, when a group of friends are talking about the TV programs on the most popular channel with great excitement, a student would destroy the warm atmosphere and shock the present if he said he never heard of the programs at all. The knowledge outside school also includes interpersonal skills, the ability to solve the everyday problems, knowledge about the society you live in as well as the hot spots in your circle, which are of primary importance in social life.

As we can see, knowledge outside schools and inside schools together fit you into the society and decides your success. To take the business opportunity as an example, without the knowledge of the present international economic situation, one will fail to explore the right chance to start his own enterprise. However, he will also fail to gain profits due to lack of knowledge in human resource or business management that should be learned in school. So both kinds of knowledge consist different part of our life and lack of either may  jeopardize our career and dream.