08的作文修改小铺子

jiang08UID: 2391146

我的用词句法是不是很Chinglish？
dogshout 发表于 2009-8-2 10:11

并没有很Chinglish
只是语言还可以进一步提高的

jiang08UID: 2391146

我的第一篇 希望给出详细解答 有什么问题我可以整改 还有 感觉偏题了 human nature 我写的切题么
Agree or disagree? Observing or studying animals can teach usa lot of human nature.

Animals and humans usually have common characters. Thus,  observing or studying animals would be a great means to learn human nature on account that both human beings and creatures share quite a number of characters（这后半句和第一句重复了）, such as greed and laziness, although some characters are only peculiar to mankind.

In view of rapacity, no difference would be figured out between man and animals. In the world, the rule endures the test of time that if one is strong and vigorous enough, none is eligible to compete with him to completely occupy what he desires. Among the realm of animals, lion is undoubtedly the king. If two lions are put together, a fight is inevitable in that they would consume all the strength to fight for valuable food. No doubt the loser is obliged to leave all things behind to the victor. Similar behaviors occur in human world （这里加个too更好）. Large corporations are addicted to annex smaller firms in the same field for plundering such resources beneficial to them as talents and shares of market, ultimately monopolizing most of the market. Thus, observation of animals is an appropriate method to study human's greed. 弱肉强食=贪婪？

In terms of laziness, it is a common character endowed by species surviving the ecosystem. Laziness can be found on Gila monster, which feed（单数） on small rodents, juvenile birds, and reptile eggs. Once females lay about a dozen eggs in a wide hole in moist sand, the leathery-shelled eggs are hatched in ten months without any care from their parents. Similar action is echoed by behavior of children. Inclined to spend all time to playing, young children are reluctant to finish their homework or attend tutorial classes by getting up till noon at weekends. Consequently, not only are animals too lazy to assume their accountabilities, but individuals are accustomed to entertainment lack of wills to work or study all day long as well. 这个观点不敢赞同。那个动物不管蛋是因为他们不需要，他们应该是把时间花在找食物上面了。关于动物“懒惰”这个还真不好说。可以换成别的特性，比如会对相处时间长的对象产生感情（动物：家猫/狗；人：不说了……）

Albeit, researches on animals can not answer the question that why mankind is intelligent. Even the most intelligent animal, chimpanzee, can not work out a complicated puzzle. What they are capable of is just to imitate the simplest action done by persons. By contrast, an ordinary people（单数） can perform two things at the same time. One can make a telephone call to a relative or friend, while surfing on the Internet for particular information, without intertwining each other. In such case, study of animals is of no helps（不可数）.

All in all, observing or studying animals is valuable to learn human nature in most situations. However, still something cannot be uncovered by such researches.gerryderek 发表于 2009-8-2 18:18

论证的方法很好，我没看出跑题了。只是关于共同的特性，希望把握的更精确一点

jiang08UID: 2391146

这么好的地方:dizzy:太感谢楼主了
这是我昨天做og后面的作文，很认真的改了改，望多多指教
Topic: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible.Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time.Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to suport your opinion.


In recent years, there seem to be a tendancy that more and more young adults are renting apartments outside homes to be independent from their parents. Still, there are also a great deal of young grown ups who choose to live a longer time with their parents. After comparing the advantages and disadvantages（可以用短语pros and cons代替） of the two chooses（choices）, I would prefer living alone for the following reasons.

First and the most important, depending on yourself is an inevitable situation which will come to you sooner or later, so why not prepare youself for the new experience and challenges earlier? It is when we are away from the protection of our parents and tasting the bitterness of the real life can we exert our potential to its most and get to know what I am（注意人称统一，前面用的是“我们”） lacking of as an experienced and sophiticated adult. Just take one of my classmates Lisa who was living alone in an apartment not far from our compus as an example. At first, she was almost driven crazy by those trifles such as paying electrical and water expenses, cleaning the room, shopping for daily commodities, to name just a few. She admits that it needs both proper arrangements and self-control to live without parents, yet she also thinks this experience is rewarding.

Another reason why I prefer living by myself is that without 24-hour observation of our parents we can feel more privacy. Some of the young adults are really tired of the weary nags of their parents, though most of them show how much they care about you（还是人称问题，前半句是“yound adults”）, however, no one would like to be frequently told what kind of friends you should not make or what kind of music you should listen（缺to）.A good example is that when you are geting together or having parties with your friends ,you would not have the trouble asking your parents for permission whom you are going to invite or which piece of music you can play.

Besides all the benefits you get, on the other hand, when you are living ouside, your aging parents can also release from both taking care of you (like do cooking and washing for you) and the extra expenses for your daily use. I believe as an adult, it is time for you to learn how to take care of as well as finance yourself.

From all that have been discussed above,we can see that living alone has a variety of benefits for both young adults and their parents. Thus, we may safely draw the conclusion that young adults should be independent from parents as soon as possible to well prepare themselves for the forthcoming challenges.

kuaru 发表于 2009-8-2 19:18

整体而言很不错。尤其是从孩子和父母两个角度来写。
但是要注意人称的问题，你我他交替的太频繁。我的建议是都用第三人称，或者都用we，尽量不要用you。

libra5UID: 2676988

论证的方法很好，我没看出跑题了。只是关于共同的特性，希望把握的更精确一点
jiang08 发表于 2009-8-6 07:37

我觉得这篇文章作者只是在说动物和人共同有的或没有的nature来展开，题目要求的是2者的关系，及通过动物那边，我们人类学到什么，比如：宽容，团结。这才紧扣题目吧。

而且第4段，那个intelligent属于nature的范畴么？我没把握..
Human nature is the concept that there are a set of characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting, that all 'normal' human beings have in common.

这篇在看过的里面还算写到些点子，网上很多人写小白鼠，人类实验，真不知道和human nature有啥关系，呵呵。
我认为这篇文章算ibt里最难的了。

姥姥的好孩子UID: 2675324

68. Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.   
There is a universal controversy in contemporary society when it comes to whether daily homework is essential for students. Those who are opposed to doing so argue that it is high time that students should lose their heavy burden. Either way, from my point of view, certain amount of homework is necessary for students to improve their studying quality, as discussed below.
To start with, among the most convincing reasons identified by people who are supportive of everyday homework for students, one of them should be stressed--it is the homework that keep the students especially the younger ones to continue their self study at home other than playing computer games. For example, my little brother is so attracted with computer games that he almost spent all his spare time in it. It is the daily homework which has to be finished that keep him studying at home and enhance himself in his major classes. I can hardly imagine how he would use this time engaging in studying without the crucial homework.
Furthermore, a multitude of reasons conspire toward the significance of the homework required each day. For one thing, the homework is the selective questions by teachers which might be more representative than other questions. These questions might help students to save time in searching for questions in other materials and thus make their studying efficient. For another, homework, the imperative exercise after school, would serve to help students to make a profound study at home. These rudimentary questions and exercises would like to reinforce what the students have learned at school.
Admittedly, homework required each day is elementary for students' studying at home. Nevertheless, it does not necessary means that students should spend all their time in working out these questions. So it is vital for teacher to limit the quantity of the homework to help students to keep balance between studying and development in other aspects. This is especially true as to the education of quantity required in China. Students have more time owned all by themselves to enjoy what they like through the education of quality. This educational method has help millions of students lose their ever heavy burden to make a comprehensive development of the students. And it is a better educational way for students' further progress in learning.
Clearly, all the analysis mentioned above justified an unshakable conclusion that daily homework is still necessary for students but the amount of it should be limited to help the students to exert a comprehensive development.


Word Count: 419
麻烦您了，谢谢

瑞贝卡RUID: 2677992

:hug:24 A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

When I get the news that my best friend Eric is planning to move to my town, I am really excited. As I know my town clearly, I think he must enjoy here a lot. Thanks to the rapid development of technology, my town Beijing has already become one of the most famous cities around the world. There are many occasions in which Beijing is more attractive than other places.

First and foremost, the most attractive thing should be the famous mountains in Beijing, such as fragrant hill. It attracts the tourists all around the world because it’s so mysterious, as if it's holding a secret. So far as I know, Eric is also crazy about climbing mountains as I do, So I’ m quite sure that he will enjoy the mountains here. Once when you got to the top of the mountain, you can shout “I am the king of the world!”. Imagine the feeling of excitement when you have finally attained your destination—the feeling that you have conquered the mountain. And above all, you have conquered yourself. If you sit on the top of the mountain quietly, you must be dwarfed by the stunning beauty of setting sun. Moreover, rock climbing is becoming a popular sports activity. Even though it is considered a dangerous sports by many, younger people may like it very much, because of its excitement.

In addition, Beijing can give people more entertainment to relax. For example, in Beijing there are cooks from many other countries to share their special cuisine. You can eat food from Japan, Italy, Korea, India and so on. Sushi and mustard are so delicious that can bring you refreshment and enlightenment. Besides, you can enjoy live performance which makes viewers feel a close sense of connection to the event. I bet every fan in the stadium will leap to their feet when they see their favorite team score a goal in the soccer match. Furthermore, you all have chances to absorb history and culture from the city parks, theatres, and museums.

Last but not least, Beijing gives people more opportunities to make money. In face of this global economic crisis, more and more people are going unemployed. They need to find a decent job that enables them to support their family and their children’s education. Beijing as an international city can play an important role to satisfy their basic requirement. According to a recent survey about job opportunities shows that Beijing has more opportunities to get a job.

In conclusion, moving to Beijing gives you not only experience that climbing mountains with your friends but also more choices to relax. More importantly, it can offers people more chances to make money for themselves or their families.


楼主快来拍我~``

fancywwUID: 2583671

lz辛苦了，第一次来，请狠狠地批。  


Some people think it's more important to spend more time working than being with family，what do you think? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

As the steps of the modern world getting faster, many people find it is difficult to balance between their professional and personal life. So more and more people sacrifice their family time to work extra hours in order to keep their positions or get promoted. However, in my opinion, family should always come first. Work should not get in the way of our personal life, especially the happy time with our family.

To most people, family is the final reason why they work so hard. On one hand, family supports you. The love from family is the strongest power supporting us to live in this world. A person who is successful in life is a person who has a happy family. On the other hand, family is not only whose blood you have, but more about who you care. So just think about what we ultimately work for. Generally, we work for better positions to make more money. We earn more money to afford a beautiful house in a better community, to buy a bigger car so that we can go for a family picnic, or to send our kids to the best school. It is simple to find out that our desire to work hard finally pointing at the happiness of our family. Why? It is just because we care.

Since family is our power to fight against difficulties and the reason we work with effort, then why should we hurt family because of work? Once I read a story in magazine. A daughter one day asked her father how much money he made per hour. The father was confused but then answered, “one hundred dollars”. “Then can I borrow fifty dollars from you?” asked the little girl. The father was at first a bit angry for he thought his daughter wanted money to by toys. However, when he finally gave her daughter fifty dollars, the girl took out another fifty and said, “With my pocket money now I have one hundred dollars. Can I buy you one hour so you can come home early to have dinner with me, dad?” The story vividly tells us that no matter how much fortune you make, it cannot buy the happy time you have missed with you family. Work can be repeated everyday, but there is only one high school graduation performance of your daughter, only one 20 years anniversary of your marriage, only one 60 birthday of your mother and the list will go on. In a word, family is the most precious in life.

To sum up, it is certainly excellent to balance work and family. However, when family and work contracts, I believe to spend the time with family is far more worthy and happy than to work on weekends.

fancywwUID: 2583671

语言很不错，就是G味稍微有点浓了
jiang08 发表于 2009-8-3 11:26

我在写的时候也会受到issue的影响，请问lz如何处理呢？在toefl里把观点写得太复杂或太平衡了是不是不好呢？toefl举例论证之类的是否该生活化一点呢？ 谢谢

gaovenivvUID: 2617157

第三篇~
谢谢08mm
Delta_Test1:
Agree or disagree? Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child’s basic education

Controversy rises when discussing whether subjects such  as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education. Some one would say no since child  should have his/her own choice especially for students whose major is or will be engineering or science .But, personally, my answer is definitely yes in that subjects mentioned above exert essential impacts on one child's development.

To begin with, subjects such as art, music, and drama help  one broaden his/her visions in thinking method especially for students whose major is or will be engineering or science. Some one would criticize this statement by saying that major should be of priority. Yet, in my personal experience, thinking method involved in these subjects help me understand some problems in computer science which is my major better. Many software products which are of greatest efficient algorithms seen from developers' side, however, are hard to use for clients whose major is hardly computer science. In this case, these talented products will always be denied by clients. Thinking method especially emotional thinking which I learn from these subjects have considerable influence on my programming habits in that force me to take clients' requirements in the first place such as designing a graphic that is friendly to clients not only in appearance but also in use.

Besides, apart from major learning, skills or knowledge learned from these subjects is essential for social development mainly in establishing personal relationship. It is always true that we met our friend first when talking about issues involved in these subjects such as a famous painting that would be on display in a museum in your city, or even when appreciating a drama who was seated besides you. Isn't it awesome? Yes! Compared from major subjects, these subjects are more common in life and also more likely to close the gap between individuals. Moreover, it is honor for me to play guitar, which I learned in music class in my basic education, for my friends and my boss in party.

More importantly, from the perspective of society, the greatest social problems cannot be better solved without a person who learned these subjects. When we learn these subjects, we just understand the society better. Themes like peace and love, covered in many paintings, music or dramas prevent us from wars and bring about peace all over the world. Song like "Heal the world", sung by Michael Jackson, is a good example, by which we are really motivated and cherish the peace we are enjoying.

Even though these subjects are influential, a key problem is whether these subjects should be covered in every child's basic education. I would also say yes. After all, you cannot depend on one child's immediate development in only one day. Subjects, when covered in basic education, just provide sufficient time for one's development by giving enough time for thinking and, more importantly, guarantee that one walk in the right way by filtering out the good ones, which is especially essential when one child could be affected negatively by modern media culture without a responsible guide in school.

To sum up, as I have mentioned above, subjects such as art are of great importance for one child either in studying or social development and deserve to be a part of every child's basic education. Without establishing these subjects as a part of basic education, all of these benefits could not happen and even be harmful.

words: 574

七色堇UID: 2603827

还有这么好的事！谢谢楼主了，这是我今天的习作，有点写不下去的感觉。。。
Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Today, more than any other time in the history, reading and writing abilities are playing a vital role in our daily life. Even though the improtance of litercy have never be ignored as a demonstration of human civilization, its worth have never be so emphasized.

In contemporary socity, we are overwhelmed by imformation aboudance, so reading and writing abilities should always be perpared. Just take a look about the following occasions: when trying to find a new place, we read the road instruction; when entering a resteraunt, we read the menu; when falling ill, we read the direction to take pills;  and when we want to know about the daily news, we read the newspapers. On the other hand, we have to use our writing skills when filling the resumes, completing the term papers or perparing the reports. While in past times, citizens just satisfying themselves cooking at home, listening to the daily form one mouth to another, seldom getting out and much fewer of them will have to concern about how to complete the term paper. Or perhaps we should take another look at the computer, the great invention of the 20th century, we have to read the information in the internet, bite by bite, alone. So perhaps we can safely say that, in a closed society, with little chance to get more information and communication, we may just pass illitery, like our grandparents. However, we are now in a totally different situation.

Another thing which raise the importance of reading and writing ability may be the nowadays competition and examination system. We have to demonstrate our abilities in illiteral form -- answer questions printed on papers, computer screens or write down plans, more than ever. It is known that reading and writing are essual ways to enter schools, have a good job or win a project. In face of this situation, many parents begin to teach their children recongize words even before they enter schools. And a promising applicant may his/her personal statement checked thousands of time before obmition.

To sum up, reading and writing abilities are playing a more important role than ever. In order to enter a good school, have a high-salary job, and adapt to daily life, we should be perpared with such abilities.

hugh0421UID: 2594727

最后一篇，买企业还是买房子，多谢啦~~
Faced with the choose between house and business, the majority of people believe that start a business like Bill Gates is one person's life goal, so start a business is more important than buy a house. As opposed to commonly accepted ideas, I believe that house is our home, our wonderful investment and also a source of extra income. If I had enough money, I would choose to buy a house.

Undoubtedly，start a business is a huge challenge for people. When the founder works hard for the company, he/she can learn a lot of new things, make many different new friends. If the business succeeds, it will definitely give the founder a lot of happiness and confidence. But how many people can enjoy the wonderful time of success? According to the statistics, only 10 percent of new companies alive after one year, and the proportion will be smaller after that. The risk of lose a business is extremely big. That means, the founder may possibly find that he/she lose everything after a year's tough time.

Unlike the business, buying a house is an excellent safe investment. In the long run, the price of house will never go down because the population in the world keeps rising quickly, but the land suit to live on the earth is not changed. Thus, the house, like insurance for the owner's family, can be sold someday on a higher price. Also, the price of house growing can beat the inflation.

The other reason to buy a house is that house is our warm home. Everyone need a home because the home gives people the feelings of safety, relaxation and happiness. Considering people may often prepare to move to other places, they do not want to decorate their rent house well. So one may not feel good when lives in a rent house. In the rent house, people may feel unsafe, lonely and also other bad feelings.

Taking into account all these factors above, we may safely come to the conclusion that it is a far better idea to buy a house rather than a business, although both of them have their own advantages. A house is a warm home and safe investment. In addition to these reasons, you can also rent out your house to someone else, thus creating an extra source of income for yourself.

jiang08UID: 2391146

麻烦楼主给提提意见～～～
同意不同意 daily homework is necessary for students

Which is the best way to help students to digest the knowledge they learnt in school? Which is the most efficient method to let children improve their understanding on the kin they needed to know well? Which is the easiest way for students to find the part which they have not grasped yet? 三个排比似乎多了一点 The answer obviously seen here will be the most appropriate stand point of the issue（啰嗦，is就够了） that daily homework is necessary for students. Meanwhile I would bolster it in the following part with more convincing reasons and factors of life.

It is widely known that there is no possibility to grasp knowledge well without practice .Just as learning how to swim, one who have（单数） not being（been 注意两个词的区分） into the swimming pool could not get the key points. It is same in the study of some science subjects such as chemistry, math and physics. By doing homework, we can contract the abstract concept with its reality application which is much more important than a theoretical idea. 写个作业怎么能把理论运用到实际？我觉得可以从被动接受和主观驾驭这个对比来写 That is why homework can help us appreciate the concept and theory much more deeply.

On the other aspect（没见过这个搭配; Also）, heaving some homework can press students to remember the facts needed in the exam. Take history learning as an example. In history study, there are a great amount of facts like names and years needed to remember（被动）, which is a heavy but necessary work（duty）. If teachers assign such kind of homework to force them（缺to） recite it, some lazy kids will did well in their final exam. 懒小孩的成绩取决于多方面，你不如从反面说：如果没有家庭作业，大家考试会是什么后果

However, too much homework is obviously unnecessary. Too much homework, especially some boring repeating one , is a totally waste of time. Heaving too much homework means children will not have time to do sports. It is said that primary students should do homework no more than half an hour and middle school should less than one hour.

Based on the detailed and well-reasoned evidence concerning the issue that whether daily homework is necessary, a reflex and consisted viewpoint can be drawn upon which is homework should be assigned everyday.没必要到处用模板，句子太冗长了 Unfortunately, there is still much left to be considered. It is important that homework should be creative and guiding. Otherwise, homework will obstruct our leaning in stead of improve it. 关于提高作业本身，和题目无关，和你论述无关，不要写在最后一段。
tomato100 发表于 2009-8-2 22:05

作文稍微有点短，尤其是当中真正论述的部分，而头尾模板用得太过分了，建议精简一点
另外这是我的第一万帖 哈哈

keppel_tuUID: 2641964

麻烦啦，谢谢！
Topic: Does modern technology help students learn more information and learn it more quickly?

The answer of this statement depends on students' own experience and life style. In my point of view, the modern technology does help the students to learn more information and learn the knowledge more quickly. Among countless factors there are 3 conspicuous aspects as follows.

The main reason for my propensity for modern technology does benefit students a lot is that students do not have to learn the knowledge only by means of reading books, they can have multi-media ways to learn the knowledge. The multi-media makes the way of learning much more interesting and much more lively,and therefore, the students will find it much easier to understand the meaning of what they leant.

Another reason can be seen by every person is that with the development of technology almost every family have the facilities with the modern technology, such as television, computer and so on. And in this way, it becomes very convenient for the students to get the information. By using the computer, students can surf the Internet which has a great deal of knowledge. Besides, they can also watch TV to get a lot of useful information and broaden their range of knowledge.

Further more, with the modern technology, the students can have interconnection with their classmates even if they are at home, not in the class. Thanks to the modern technology, they can have face to face talk via video connection as if they were in the same room. They can talk to each other and exchange their points of view, needless to stay in the same room. Meanwhile, the teachers can also instruct their students online if their students have any problems, and therefore, the students will learn better.


All in all, the new technology has changed the way of learning. Thanks to the new technology, students can have mulit-media which makes earning more interesting, students can easliy get the latest information on TV or in the Internet and students can even have interconnection with others even if they are at home. The new technology does help the students to learn more information and learn the information more quickly.


Test2 - Topic 5

Which is better, doing work by machine or doing work by hand?

In the modern world, technology is developing very fast. Thanks to the technology, we don't need to do things with our owe hands, because we can use machines to do things instead of us. And the advantages of doing work by machina are very obvious. The reasons are as follows.

First of all, the machine can do the work much faster than the human beings, in other words, it means that machine is more efficient than us. The machine will never be sick, we don't have to worry about when it is not able to work because of its health problems. Besides, the machine can work all day long, while our human beings have to go to sleep in the evening. My uncle runs a factory which produces the TV sets. Since he bought the machines which were used to produce the TV sets instead of workers, his productivity has been greatly increased.

The second reason is that by using the machine to accomplish the work can save a lot of money. Machine does not need income. They can work without weekends or holidays and you do not have to pay for them even one cent. Meanwhile, machine will never be hungry, and the owner of the factory does not have to provide the machine with meals during the work time. And in this way, the cost is saved.

Finally, I would like to say that machine can  do a lot of work which requires accuracy. You see, while we do work by our owe hands, we may not fully control our hands. We may shake our hands during the operation. And in some occasions, even the slight shake may cause the failure of the operation. And at this time, we do need  the help of the machine. It can help us do the the work which should be very accurate. For example, when a patient needs a operation in the heart's tissue, we do need the help of the machine to finish the task.

All in all, I think machines can be very effient, reduce the cost of production and do a lot of work that we can't do. So while doing the work, the machine will be better.

jiang08UID: 2391146

I do not mean to trouble you, but I badly need your advice, since I will take my second TOEFL on 8.8. I can understand  you are so busy here. So I should not expect too much here, should I? Thank you anyway.  






023 In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

I agree with the idea that students should have jobs when they are still at school. Doing some part time jobs can benefit us for its practical experience. At the mean time, we can also learn how to communicate with others and support our daily expense.

I have to concede that doing part time jobs would cost some time, but I also believe the benefit is considerable, because students can get prepared for future career. It is known to us that not all the knowledge can be used directly in practice, especially some courses like physics, biology, archeology and international relationship. These courses are often abstract and complicated. Students cannot truly understand such courses in practice unless they do some part time jobs.这里希望能举个例子，比如你提到的某门课，怎样的兼职会增进理解 Also, students need time to adapt themselves （to）society. The game rules in society could be distinct, compared to the happy college life. Consequently, working in rest time of studying meets the need of students. Perhaps, it does take plenty of time, however students cannot always study in their own field, sometimes a different way of study can be a kind of rest. 游戏规则和沟通似乎更接近一点，简易放到下面一段

Few students can fully understand how to communicate with others efficiently, and doing part time jobs can be the way to improve such skill of them. Frankly, I was the one who know little about communication, and it seemed to me that nothing can impulse me to do that at that time. Nevertheless, after my being a part time salesman, I had to talk to others efficiently and study the art of talk. Sometimes, I faced dozens of different people every single day. They meant to me different characteristics and disparate communication methods. Then, communication became a necessary activity of my daily life. Such experience changed me a lot, and communication not only brings to me a boarder sight, but also the confidence to talk.

Additionally, （the）increasing amounts of expense forces students to do part time jobs. In our daily life, almost all the people have to face kinds of problems about expense, such as affording the fee to take bus, the fare to go travelling, the payment for various tax, and even the cost to buy a new things to adorn your house. As a result, we do not lack some difficult time when we were short of money, so it is to most students.

All in all, noticing that the benefits are attractive in taking a part time job, I consider doing such work as receiving a great experience. And finding a decent job is likely to be a difficult thing nowadays, so it seems to be necessary for students to design their future career earlier.
gtqscat 发表于 2009-8-2 22:26

语言没有帮你改，一个问题是cost的用法再学习一下

jiang08UID: 2391146

再次感谢08上次的修改先
本题目：公共交通谁来埋单
With the fast development of technology, new transportation vehicles make human beings（provide people with） lots of efficiency and convenience. At the same time, due to the surge of economy, more and more private cars are available to vast public. However, because of the fierce discussion about the use of nature (natural)  resources, there is an intensive debate that whether the people should pay for the public transportation which is a efficient way to reduce the consume (noun: comsumption) of resources. In my opinion, public transportation should be available for free.

First of all, it should be acknowledged that private cars provide people with spacious and independent room and flexible mobility, which result（单数） in the fast increasing number of private cars. In addition, another significant reason for this tendency is the payment for buses, taxies and so forth, because it is really terrible and unworthy for people to pay for crowd, noisy and relatively expensive transportation（公交和谁相比贵？）. What is more, the raising（分清楚raise 和rise） number of cars, undoubtedly, leads to more traffic jams, traffic accidents and the most awful tragedy- air pollutions. However, in order to eliminate or reverse these bad consequences, the government should pay more effort to deal with them, and one of the efficient ways is to encourage and enhance the use of public transportation by repealing the cost of them（their cost）. In（From） this angle, the government not only changes the terrible road situations but also improves the environment for its citizens. 这里有一个问题，公交本身已经拥挤不堪了，免费之后岂不是会更拥挤？

Fortunately, these humanistic changes brought by free transportation system can also foster the sense of nationality and the loyalty to its political party. This will arouse huge passions of citizens to devote themselves to the construction of beautiful city or harmony（harmonious） society. 能不能写写为什么免费公交会让公民全情投入国家建设？具体行动？ With no doubt, the contribution of the citizens will result in larger amount of taxes which can be acted as the payment for the public transportation. This direct or indirect welfare produced by government will certainly unite the whole nation（国家言重了，每个城市政策必然不一样） and unify the whole society.

Based on these advantages listed above, the public transportation should be free for citizens, which can improve the overburdened road situation, release the tension of air pollution, benefit for the whole country and finally lead to a harmony（形容词）, prosperous and healthy society.
谢谢^_^tigerzx 发表于 2009-8-3 00:30