issue 208 [TSUBASA] by wildrose800331

wildrose800331UID：2602131

Issue
208
6. 17
9: 05 a.m.
60 mins + 15mins (edition, 7.6
19:40)
515 words

How people look, dress, do and so forth belong to the external side, which can exhibit people’s taste, interest, attitude and values of their internal space. The latter, pooled together, contribute to the interest and values of a society in which these people are. Thus in a macroscopic terms, a society is composed of the appearance and behavior of its people, which can also reflect ideas and values of its own.

In a chronically observed angle, the appearance of people has changed a lot, which can not be separated with social development. When clothes were more than something covering human body, they have been deliberately designed and displayed by people over centuries. Take Chinese clothes for example, women wore long, sleeveless and tight dress a century ago to embody their figure and beauty while men wore long robes, which were a distinctive mainstream. At that time, both women and men had long hair but different hair style. With revolution, liberation and openness to the world, the outlook of Chinese has changed dramatically. They look more “western” with suits, ties, T-shirts, jeans, commuter dresses, high-heel shoes and so forth. This evolution of outlook is the embodiment of changes from tradition to modern, from locality to globalization.


Similarly, the behavior of people can not be still and fixed but developing in the same pace of society. With invention of television sets and manmade satellites, people are able to watch everything around the world, which has expanded their horizon. With popularization of computer and Internet, people can talk with whoever they want, revolutionizing their way of communication. Correspondingly, people are more curious about the nature, people and life abroad and willing to learn foreign languages, in order to travel, study and live abroad. With increasing travelers and immigrants, people around the world gradually get adjusted to meeting foreigners. Their traditional codes or habits have been instilled with something new and exotic. This irresistible trend represents the general value of the society from closeness and isolation, like an island, to openness and interaction as a part of a continent.

In turn, the ideas and values of a society can be observed from the appearance and behavior of its people. Both the “western” clothes and proficient foreign languages prove the inevitable trend of globalization, while traditional essence and native language or even dialect integrate and localize this wave with diverse features. It can be found that some Frenchmen are obsessed with Kongfu; local people like to eat dumplings in a brand chain of Chinese store open in Sydney; Chinese people dine in KFC which has added Chinese cuisine to their original hamburgers; Sushi is a popular food around the world. All of these are evidences of a society’s openness and willingness to accept something foreign and new.

In a conclusion, people’s inner world can be expressed by the outer means of wearing and doing, and their beliefs and values are interwoven with the society which they belong to. Therefore, it is natural to tell much about a society’s beliefs and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people.

sha-shineUID：2610662

How people look, dress, do and so forth belong to the external side, which can exhibit people’s taste, interest, attitude and values of their internal space. The latter, pooled together, contribute to the interest and values of a society in which these people are. Thus in a macroscopic terms, a society is composed of the appearance and behavior of its people, which can also reflect ideas and values of its own. In a chronically observed angle, the appearance of people has changed a lot, which can not be separated【这里是要说 …外观的变化离不开社会进步吧？~ separate用的不是很形象啊 换成can not live without social…会更好一些吧 】 with social development. When clothes were more than something covering human body, they have been deliberately designed and displayed by people over centuries.【这里也有点太CHINENGLIS了 不能用汉语的话直接翻译啊 可以加点被动啊 倒装啊 什么的就可以避免这个了】 【BTW “when…”后面的表达的有点不太贴切 应该可以说 衣服的种类变多了】Take Chinese clothes【这里应该表达成古代中国衣服的例子啊 例如Take an example about clothes in early time of China】 for example, women wore long【这个好直接啊 女人的更长 语法没毛病 可是感觉有点别扭 应该吧比较的物品放进去 或者加上比较的对象】 sleeveless and tight dress a century ago to embody their figure and beauty while men wore long robes, which were a distinctive mainstream. At that time, both women and men had long hair but different hair style. With revolution, liberation and openness to the world, the outlook of Chinese has changed dramatically. They look【looked】 more “western” with suits, ties, T-shirts, jeans, commuter dresses, high-heel shoes and so forth. This evolution of outlook is the embodiment of changes from tradition to modern, from locality to globalization.【ISSUE 写的好棒啊~句子之间联系紧密 赞一个！！！~~~~】 Similarly, the behavior of people can not be still and fixed【在我理解still 和 fix 所表达的意思应该差不多哦 另外and前后加的词性和使用方法应该相同啊】 but developing in the same pace of society. With invention of television sets and manmade satellites, people are able to watch everything around the world, which has expanded their horizon. With popularization of computer and Internet, people can talk with whoever【如果换成whatever也许会更广泛些吧 而且后面没有说谈论某一个人啊】 they want, revolutionizing their way of communication. Correspondingly, people are more curious about the nature, people and life abroad and willing to learn foreign languages, in order to travel, study and live abroad. With increasing travelers and immigrants, people around the world gradually get adjusted to meeting foreigners. Their traditional codes or habits have been instilled with something new and exotic. This irresistible trend represents the general value of the society from closeness and isolation, like an island, to openness and interaction as a part of a continent. In turn, the ideas and values of a society can be observed from the appearance and behavior of its people.【这个主题句意义上和BODY的第一段有点重复吧？】 Both the “western” clothes and proficient foreign languages prove the inevitable trend of globalization, while traditional essence and native language or even dialect integrate and localize this wave with diverse features. It can be found that some Frenchmen are obsessed with Kongfu; local people like to eat dumplings in a brand chain of Chinese store open in Sydney; Chinese people dine in KFC which has added Chinese cuisine to their original hamburgers; Sushi is a popular food around the world. All of these are evidences of a society’s openness and willingness to accept something foreign and new.【举例有效 再赞一个】 In a conclusion, people’s inner world can be expressed by the outer means of wearing and doing, and their beliefs and values are interwoven with the society which they belong to. Therefore, it is natural to tell much about a society’s beliefs and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people.

在前面也说了BODY的第三段和第一段有点重复 但是仔细看了一下 改下其中的一个主题句就可以解决了 知识主题句有些重复 或者 把两个主题句都更加详细的重写一下。 写作的主题句很重要 感觉第BODY的第二段内容和主题句有点小偏差啊 按理来说应该让主题句包含完整该段的内容

wildrose800331UID：2602131

How people look, dress, do and so forth belong to the external side, which can exhibit people’s taste, interest, attitude and values of their internal space. The latter, pooled together, contribute to the interest and values of a society in which these people are. Thus in a macroscopic terms, a society is composed of the appearance and behavior of its people, which can also reflect ideas and values of its own.

In a chronically observed angle, the appearance of people has changed a lot, which can not be realized with social development. Ever since clothes were more than something covering human body, they have been deliberately designed and displayed to tailored and catered for people over centuries.Take an example of Chines clothes at the turn of 20th century , women wore long, sleeveless and tight dress  to embody their figure and beauty while men wore long robes, which were a distinctive mainstream. At that time, both women and men had long hair but different hair style. With revolution, liberation and openness to the world, the outlook of Chinese has changed dramatically. They now look more “western” with suits, ties, T-shirts, jeans, commuter dresses, high-heel shoes and so forth. This evolution of outlook is the embodiment of changes from tradition to modern, from locality to globalization.

Similarly, the behavior of people can not be still and fixed【这里是相同的啊，adj。】 but developing in the same breath of society. With invention of television sets and manmade satellites, people are able to watch everything around the world, which has expanded their horizon. With popularization of computer and Internet, people can talk with whoever【后面那个分词短语做状语表明了是人】 they want, revolutionizing their way of communication. Correspondingly, people are more curious about the nature, people and life abroad and willing to learn foreign languages, in order to travel, study and live abroad. With increasing travelers and immigrants, people around the world gradually get adjusted to meeting foreigners. Their traditional codes or habits have been instilled with something new and exotic. This irresistible trend represents the general value of the society from closeness and isolation, like an island, to openness and interaction as a part of a continent.

In turn, the ideas and values of a society can be observed from the appearance and behavior of its people.【第一段想说的是外观变化缘于社会进步，第二段说的是举止行为变化缘于社会进步，这一段是社会价值观可以从外观和行为上观察出来？】 Both the “western” clothes and proficient foreign languages prove the inevitable trend of globalization, while traditional essence and native language or even dialect integrate and localize this wave with diverse features. It can be found that some Frenchmen are obsessed with Kongfu; local people like to eat dumplings in a brand chain of Chinese store open in Sydney; Chinese people dine in KFC which has added Chinese cuisine to their original hamburgers; Sushi is a popular food around the world. All of these are evidences of a society’s openness and willingness to accept something foreign and new.

In a conclusion, people’s inner world can be expressed by the outer means of wearing and doing, and their beliefs and values are interwoven with the society which they belong to. Therefore, it is natural to tell much about a society’s beliefs and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people.