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[作文] 凉凉的作文贴。 [复制链接]

凉言
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发表于 2011-3-22 22:06:35 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

3.22 独立作文
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help determine the future of children, or children are allowed to make their decision.

Some parents tend to control their children through ways of making every decision for children, they deem that only in this way can their children obtain a bright future. In my opinion, however, instead of determining the future of children, parents should allow their children to make their own decisions.

To start with, children have their own thoughts and dreams, they are totally able to decide by themselves what to do in the future. On the contrary, if parents are to determine the future of children, they may impose their desired but unaccomplished dreams when they were young on children. There is a possibility that parents' desired dreams are not what children want to do in the future, then a conflict between parents and children will take place. Whether or not children are forced to follow the future that their parents determine for them , definitely, the result will be negative.

Equally importantly, although parents are more experienced, their experience is merely about their own. It is children that know themselves better than anyone else even their parents. Some parents may know little about what their children like and what are they interested in as a result of few communications between parents and children. Plus, parents take it for granted that they know everything of their children including their gifts and talents, while the facts may be opposite. In such cases, how can parents determine our future? What if they choose a future that children have no interest in? Therefore, children are capable of deciding their own future just because they are aware of where their talents is, and they can choose what they both talented and interested.

On the other hand, admittedly, it is helpful that parents assist children to make decisions. They are experienced. They are sophisticated. They know the world longer than us. To sum up, children should make decisions by themselves only with the help of their parents.

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沙发

发表于 2011-3-23 23:07:49 |只看该作者

现在最水的就是作文了，怎么办啊。。急
求人帮我把上一篇作文先改改- -
求提高办法啊，哭

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凉言
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板凳

发表于 2011-3-24 21:38:55 |只看该作者

本帖最后由凉言于 2011-3-24 21:41 编辑

这篇写得也好水。。。思路打不开，用词造句贫乏。。。求指导><
3.24 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Is it better to spend money on traveling than to save money for the future?

We are all curious about how it looks outside the city or country we live in, and wonder how people in other places live, so many people travel a lot to get familiar with people who grow up in a totally different culture and lifestyle. Some people even spend as much money as they earn on travelling every single month, and there is a possibility for whom that they even cannot afford to see the doctor when they are seriously sick.

Those behaviours, however, are inappropriate from my view. It is essential for people to take future into consideration, an emergency, which needs a large amount of money to deal with, may happen at any time. Therefore, it is better to save money for the future than spending money on travelling.

Saving money for the future is of great significance for our lives. People all have dreams, and some need to get higher education to realize them, how can we adults still ask parents for money without a sense of embarrassment? People all have a probability to get diseases, when we are sent to the hospital who else can we depend on to spend a large amount of money except ourselves? People all need possessions of their own, but with all money spent on travelling what else can we buy for ourselves?

Travelling, on the other hand, can be practiced in other different ways. Advanced technologies ensure us to communicate with a complete stranger through the Internet, and by signing up to some websites we are able to talk to a foreigner who lives in a country far away from ours. Then we get to know how the country is like, and in what ways do the people live there. Probably, the country is too far for us to get there. Plus, with the pace of globalization speeding up, the communications between different countries become more, and migrants are more and more common around us. As a consequence, we are more likely to run into a foreigner in our own city, and we can talk to them as well. Both these two ways are cheaper and more convenient than travelling.

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地板

发表于 2011-3-25 18:26:30 |只看该作者

我错了。。。现在才贴出来。。。。才疏学浅。。。多多包涵~~~~

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5楼

发表于 2011-3-25 21:33:54 |只看该作者

思路总是有很大问题。。每次写都要想半天，怎么解决呢？。。
3月25日独立
Do you agree with the following statement? Government should pay more attention on health care issues than on environment issues.

It is undeniable that health plays a key role in each person's life. Nevertheless, it is unrealistic that only by the way of government paying attention on health care issues can we become much healthier. This behavior is just like "give one fishes", which cannot solve health problems from the root. On the contrary, what needed is to "teach one how to fish", and that means, to cope with the cause of health problem which is, in this case, environment issues.

In contemporary world, with the advances of technology and science, the influences that human activities effect the environment have become more and more severe. Pollutions are nowhere but every aspects of our lives, the air we breathe, the water we drink, the crops we eat, the mobiles we use and the list will go on, and those environment issues may all do harm to our physical and mental health. More and more huge catastrophes take place in a more frequent rate in recent years, and there goes a saying that the earth is revenging to our human species. If the government had paid more attention on environment issues, the results would not go like this way.

Take a piece of news I read in the newspaper for instance, after the extremely serious earthquake hit Japan in 11th March 2011, a few days later, the nuclear electric station exploded due to the disaster. More shockingly, five people among those who guarded the remains dead afterwards. People lived in the countries near Japan immediately fell into a panic that the radiation of the exploded unclear electric station may make them to bad diseases or even death, so government paid more attention to this environment issues than before, but wasn't it a little too late? No matter the government cope with environment issues or health care issues, it is bad influences of the severe earthquake that cannot be reversed.

To sum up, since the environment issues play a great part in human health problems, for government, it is of great significance to pay more attention to environment issues rather than simply focusing on health care issues.

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6楼

发表于 2011-3-26 19:07:19 |只看该作者

改3月25日独立
Do you agree with the following statement? Government should pay more attention on health care issues than on environment issues.

3 }9 c4 E, j# ?3 [8 s
It is undeniable that health plays a key role in each person's life. Nevertheless, it is unrealistic that only by the way of government paying attention on health care issues can we become much healthier. This behavior is just like "give one fishes", which cannot solve health problems from the root. On the contrary, what needed is to "teach one how to fish", and that means, to cope with the cause（加上s） of health problem which is, in this case, environment issues.
$ o' m2 l k8 Q4 l( S- u
In contemporary world, with the advances of technology and science, the influences that human activities effect the environment have become more and more severe. Pollutions are nowhere but every aspects of our lives, the air we breathe, the water we drink, the crops we eat, the mobiles we use and the list will go on（？）, and those environment issues may all do harm to our physical and mental health. More and more huge catastrophes take place in a more frequent rate in recent years, and there goes a saying that the earth is revenging to our human species. If the government had paid more attention on environment issues, the results would not go like this way.（这段论述的有点问题。“more and more......”的后面有点多余了，导致立论点出现了偏离。其实你只要继续举例或者说明环境问题怎么能引起人们的健康问题就行了。）
Q T# i, S- x" r" w1 h
* b. G' v$ V( c( I
Take a piece of news I read in the newspaper for instance, after the extremely serious earthquake hit Japan in 11th March 2011, a few days later, the nuclear electric station exploded due to the disaster. More shockingly, five people among those who guarded the remains dead afterwards. People lived in the countries near Japan immediately fell into a panicthat the radiation of the exploded unclear electric station may make them to bad diseases or even death, so government paid more attention to this environment issues than before, but wasn't it a little too late? No matter the government cope with environment issues or health care issues, it is bad influences of the severe earthquake that cannot be reversed.(最后一句不是很适合作为一段的总结，日本东北大地震的例子还是不错的，可以在本段结尾的时候说明，如果政府早点注意核电站可能引起的环境问题，人们的健康就不会受到因为核电站泄露造成的大量辐射威胁了。)x% {0 \8 u
) R0 E( B5 q7 z) w2 f; Y; x
To sum up, since the environment issues play a great part in human health problems, for government, it is of great significance to pay more attention to environment issues rather than simply focusing on health care issues.（整体来说本篇文章只论述了一个观点，建议至少再加上一个到两个观点，不然会减少文章的可信度的。比如文章可以从很多健康问题的根源是环境问题来立论，然后把这个总观点分为几个层次来讨论，比如空气污染和人的健康，沙漠化和人的健康等等）

希望对你的写作有帮助。其实有的作文的思路确实挺不好展开的，我也是马上快考了。个人意见，有什么不对的多交流哈！
一起加油！

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7楼

发表于 2011-3-26 22:27:21 |只看该作者

本帖最后由凉言于 2011-3-26 22:31 编辑

麻烦修改的同学了！水平很烂。。
2011年3月26日周六：
独立：
Do you agree with the following statement? The purpose of television should be all educative, not entertain.

Recently, a variety of television programs are springing up with the purpose of meeting different audiences' needs, when we search the television, hundreds of channels may appear. People watch television for different reasons, but several people claim that all TV programs should be educative rather than entertain which is, in my view, totally unreasonable and boring.

To start with, different people watch television with discrepant purposes, and that is why there are so many kinds of programs. Quite a lot of people watch TV just because they want to have a rest and to escape from the real world without the heavy load from work or study. They regard the entertainment show as a way to relax themselves. Imagine that after one works so hard the whole day exhausted and depressed, when he/she gets home turning on the television, how does he/she feel finding only education programs, wouldn't he/she be more tired and stressed? Happiness plays a vital role in people's lives, and entertainment programs offer people an opportunity to laugh and relax, so they can be cheerful and positive no matter how tough the life is.

What's more, television has much more functions than just educating since when it was invented. People cannot live without televisions, and it covers each aspect of human lives. Getting up in the morning, people acknowledge what happened around the world via the news report; before leaving home, people can decide whether to take an umbrella and to wear proper clothes with the help of weather forecast; bathing in hot water, people can listen to music by watching the live concert; and people can even purchase products through the shopping programs. Those practical uses of television have made our lives more and more convenient and comfortable.

On the other hand, admittedly, educative programs are essential to some degree, besides learning from the school and the Internet, people can have a more common way to acquire knowledge. Provided that the only purpose of television is limited to be educative, that would be too boring. In sum, the purpose of television should be diverse instead of being just educative.

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8楼

发表于 2011-3-27 16:40:15 |只看该作者

3.26 独立－改

这个话题难写
水平有限，大家相互交流！

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多谢各位托友的批改，希望批得痛快淋漓！

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9楼

发表于 2011-3-27 23:13:44 |只看该作者

不好意思改晚了哈~~

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1月30号IBT要给力啊~~

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10楼

发表于 2011-3-28 21:17:44 |只看该作者

不好意思，我之前比较忙，没时间修改你的作文，这是你25号的独立写作。sorryDo you agree withthe following statement? Government should pay more attention on health careissues than on environment issues.
3 h( Z6 o c1 Z# V3 Y( i1 j, H7 [: N&
It is undeniable that health plays a key role in each person's life.Nevertheless, it is unrealistic that only by the way of government payingattention on health care issues can we become much healthier. This behavior isjust like "give one fishes", which cannot solve health problems fromthe root. On the contrary, what needed is to "teach one how to fish",and that means, to cope with the cause of health problem which is, in thiscase, environment issues. 8 t. s k( n2 B

! J. ?+ q# S% q; Z" J6 ?9 IIncontemporary world, with the advances of technology and science, the influencesthat human activities effect the environment have become more and more severe.Pollutions are nowhere but every aspects of our lives, the air we breathe, thewater we drink, the crops we eat, the mobiles we use and the list will go on,and those environment issues may all do harm to our physical and mental health.More and more huge catastrophes take place in a more frequent rate in recentyears, and there goes a saying that the earth is revenging to our humanspecies. If the government had paid more attention on environment issues, theresults would not go like this way.
' e0 Q! I# |1 i- \- `" B5 T- @3 h/ M1 `
Take a piece of news I read in the newspaper for instance, after the extremelyserious earthquake hit Japan in 11th March 2011, a few days later, the nuclearelectric station exploded due to the disaster. More shockingly, five peopleamong those who guarded the remains dead afterwards. People lived in thecountries near Japan immediately fell into a panic that the radiation of theexploded unclear electric station may make them to bad diseases or even death,so government paid more attention to this environment issues than before, butwasn't it a little too late? No matter the government cope with environmentissues or health care issues, it is bad influences of the severe earthquakethat cannot be reversed.2 x( L/ Q( h4 H6 u& g

: ~4 ?/ Q" @- m% R; CTo sumup, since the environment issues play a great part in human health problems,for government, it is of great significance to pay more attention toenvironment issues rather than simply focusing on health care issues.
1．
国外人不能理解“授人以渔”的意思的，所以尽量少用中国的谚语。
2．
第三段写了一个很大的例子，我不清楚这样的结构好不好，不过范文都是statement + explain + example 的结构，所以最好每段开头先写argument，在举例说明。

23/4 Toefl; end of August Gmat.I will be there

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11楼

发表于 2011-3-28 21:41:03 |只看该作者

3.28 独立感谢修改的同学~~

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12楼

发表于 2011-3-29 14:54:32 |只看该作者

3.28 revised

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长跑

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13楼

发表于 2011-3-29 17:12:43 |只看该作者

改好了~

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我在生活的风雨里，撑着名叫希望的伞

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14楼

发表于 2011-3-30 00:05:52 |只看该作者

本帖最后由凉言于 2011-3-30 11:39 编辑

3.29 独立~~谢谢修改的同学！怎么办，独立写作时间总是不够，限时写不完，更何况还要检查。。。怎么解决呢？请教

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15楼

发表于 2011-3-30 11:55:55 |只看该作者

In contemporary society, with the advancing of modern life level, an increasing number of people earn much more money than before. Numerous individuals turn to recreational or art activities besides basic need for food and warm. When it comes to which one is worthy more money from the government, however, different people hold discrepant opinions. In my view, art museums and music performance centers, which prevail over recreational facilities, are of more significance.
To begin with, not only can art museums and the music performance centers create a perfect circumstance for people to escape from work or study, but also improve the cultural qualities of local people. Music and art, with their profound influences and prevalent acceptance among people, nowadays have made citizens enjoy the wonderful art paradise, releasing the heavy load from work or study of people as well as comforting them with soft music or elegant atmosphere. Moreover, after listening to a musical performance or visiting an exhibition, people may wonder what type of music is the one they listened to or《
which style the drawing they saw in that show belongs to.（我有点不理解这句话的意思）》（这个例子这里是不是应该在加强一下啊，例如说人们在听音乐看表演的时候体会到各种不同的音乐表演，增加了知识，同时也思考，我觉得还应该在加强一下） That, thereby, cultivates and fosters the art qualities of local citizens.
To put the opinion future, art museums and music performance centers represent the city they are built in, and tell the great legends in the process of local culture developing and art to foreigners. To illustrate this point, I would take an experience of me being a volunteer in the city museums for instance. One time I was wandering around the area I was in charged for, I noticed that a foreigner standing in front of an ancient drawing seemed quite confused. So I asked him if（if我读着觉得有点怪，换个词是不是会更好） he needed any help, he said that the introduction of the drawing was so abstract in English that he could not understand that painting at all（写个他不能明白绘画的内容，或者是正确的表达是不是会更好？）. Afterwards, although I gave him (加个some更好一点？ ) detailed information about that picture, there are still plenty of foreigners who cannot get familiar to our culture out there. Art museums and music performance centers call for fund from government, on both the facilities and guider trainings in order to spread our local cultures to the outside world.
（你要是再在这里在写一句强化主题的，会更好，就是总结你的观点的，之后在转折，在强化）On the other hand, recreational facilities such as swimming pools and playgrounds are originally in need of fewer budgets than those art centers. Plus, people can do exercises even in the open air. In sum, rather than recreational facilities, they are art museums and music performance centers that starve for more finance from the government.
凉凉，你的文章写得这么的美，第二段的句子衔接叫我很佩服！很欣赏！真有一种把你文章当做范文背下来的冲动！我找不到半点的语法错误，我找不到任何的错误！叫我惊叹你的文章的同时，很鄙视自己的单薄的英语水平。我真的认真的看完你的文章了，但是我就是找不到错误，我真的批过，认真的看过没一句话，我很害怕你误会我没好好批你的文章，怎么可以写的这么好。）（顺便能教教我怎样能把文章写得这好吗？）像你学习啦！

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南加大担心预算不够，仅百万预算。不太清楚南加大的MS EE要多少钱，了解的uu麻烦评论区讲讲。目标：润＞读博＞回国找工 VLSI集成电路那边接触较少，可能跨度会比较大。据说USC人多？师生比不太好？

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Royal College of Art

innovation design engineering

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