寄托天下
楼主: sodapeng
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[未归类] 【独立写作】sodapeng 托福写作 [复制链接]

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9

声望
1974
寄托币
14467
注册时间
2012-2-1
精华
5
帖子
3423

备考先锋 AW小组活动奖 IBT Zeal IBT Smart Virgo处女座 满1年在任版主 US-applicant

106
发表于 2012-3-7 01:16:44 |只看该作者
3 6110319 do you agree or disagree with thevfollowing statement? Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave

It has been widely acknowledged that TV and movie bring us the enjoyment both in visual and auditory, from which we can know the things happened around us and get entertainment. Since diversification of theme has been showed on the screen, ranging from earthquake documentary to gossip of celebrates, a heated debate aroused that whether television and movies have considerable negative effects on the young people's behavior, the opinion varied from person to person. Nonetheless, I endorse that good movies and television programs playing a leading role in youth’s behavior, the reasons are as follows.

A good movie can intrigue us to struggle for future and then lead to success. Take me for a instance, I was depressed when I got the score report of college admission examination, low marks was not in proportion to what I had paid for. I felt despaired. Then my friends recommended me to watch a movie called: homeless to Harvard: the Liz Murray story. It talked about Liz, a young girl taking care of her drug-addicted parents, finished her high school courses, which she amazingly completed in two years, rather than the usual four. She became a star student and earned scholarship to Harvard University. Her prodigious persistence really expressed me a lot and provoked me to keep studying. Ultimately, through a long period of time struggling, I embraced the fruits of scholarship.

Furthermore, getting to know the news broadcast on TV also affect young people's behavior profoundly. A magnitude undersea earthquake occurred in Japan at March 2011, reducing mighty edifices to dust. The streets flowed with blood and echo with cries of the wounded. To our surprised that from media coverage, there is no robbery, no riot, Japanese were all waiting in line to the sanctuary, all we could see is a well-organized country. After knowing that, people may know what should do when facing a disaster, exclaiming or robbing is not a way to get us away from this catastrophe, making all things in ordered is a only thing we can do, which also offer the convenience to government's searching program.

Admittedly, some movie like 2012 may let juvenile lose confidence about the future, many people argue that many adolescent cannot distinguish the reality to illusion, they may give up their school work because 2012 will make all their efforts in vain. Nonetheless, in my point of view, parents should play a guider in this situation. Letting their children to know that no one can predict future and inform them that the purpose of making that kind of movie is intriguing people's attention on environmental protecting. In addition, if there is only a days left in our life, the things we should do is valuing them and doing some meaningful things rather than waste them.

Take into account what I have discussed above; I strongly believe that movies and television has positive effect on young people's behavior in a dramatic way.
希望以及为了希望所付出的醉生梦死般的努力,才是我们青春存在的意义。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 1

声望
15
寄托币
42
注册时间
2012-2-27
精华
0
帖子
1
107
发表于 2012-3-7 17:32:48 |只看该作者
3 6110319 do you agree or disagree with thefollowing statement? Movies and television have more negative effects thanpositive effects on the way young people behave

It has been widely acknowledged that TV andmovie bring us the enjoyment both in visual and auditory, from which we can know the thingshappened around us and get entertainment. Since diversification of theme hasbeen showed on the screen, ranging from earthquake documentary to gossip ofcelebrates(celebrities?), a heated debate aroused that whether television andmovies have considerable negative effects on the young people's behavior, theopinion varied from person to person(这句貌似略有点多余).Nonetheless, I endorse that good movies and television programs playing aleading role in youth’s behavior, the reasons are as follows.

A good movie can intrigue us to struggle(是不是一般会用fight? for futureand then lead to success. Take me for a(不用a? instance, Iwas depressed when I got the score report of college admission examination, lowmarks was not in proportion to what I had paid for. I felt despaired. Then myfriends recommended me to watch a movie called: homeless to Harvard: the LizMurray story. It talked about Liz, a young girl taking care of herdrug-addicted parents, finished her high school courses, which she amazinglycompleted in two years, rather than the usual four. She became a star studentand earned scholarship to Harvard University. Her prodigious persistence reallyexpressed me a lot and provoked me to keep studying. Ultimately, through a long period of time struggling(怪怪的……要不改成“with sustained efforts, I embraced the fruits of scholarship.

Furthermore, getting to know the newsbroadcast on TV also affect young people's behavior profoundly. A magnitudeundersea earthquake occurred in Japan at March 2011, reducingdomonish?) mighty edifices to dust. The streets flowed with blood and echo with cries of the wounded.To our surprisedsurprise?, that frommedia coverage, there is no robbery, no riot, Japanese were all waiting in lineto the sanctuary, all we could see is a well-organized country. After knowingthat, people may know what should do when facing a disaster, exclaiming orrobbing is not a way to get us away from this catastrophe,making all things in ordered is a only thing we can do, which also offer the (the放在这里略有点不通顺?) convenience to government's searching program.

Admittedly, some movie like 2012 may letjuvenile lose confidence about the future, andmany people argue that many adolescent cannot distinguish reality from illusion, they may give up theirschool work because 2012 will make all their efforts in vain. Nonetheless, inmy point of view, parents should play a guiderplay the guiding role?)
in this situation. Letting their children to know that no one can predictfuture and inform them that the purpose of making that kind of movie isintriguing people's attention on environmental protecting. In addition, ifthere is only a days (only a days? only a fewdays?) left in our life, the things we should do is valuing them and doing (do?) some meaningful things rather than wastethem.

Take into account what I have discussedabove;(为啥是分号?) I strongly believe that movies and television has positive effecton young people's behavior in a dramatic way.

文章举例很详细啊,而且观点表达得明确~~赞一个~~
不过个人感觉有的地方略有点啰嗦,然后struggleplay a guider似乎用词不太准确,要努力写得更地道哦~
以上修改神马的纯属个人意见,如果有不对的地方一定要告诉我哦~
木有想法而且打字好慢>_<

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
11
寄托币
930
注册时间
2011-11-29
精华
0
帖子
77
108
发表于 2012-3-7 20:38:05 |只看该作者
ok啦~~
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
11
寄托币
930
注册时间
2011-11-29
精华
0
帖子
77
109
发表于 2012-3-9 13:19:59 |只看该作者
实在不好意思。。。这两天事情有点多,改的晚了~~从今天开始,我要继续写作文了~加油~~
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9

声望
1974
寄托币
14467
注册时间
2012-2-1
精华
5
帖子
3423

备考先锋 AW小组活动奖 IBT Zeal IBT Smart Virgo处女座 满1年在任版主 US-applicant

110
发表于 2012-3-9 17:22:46 |只看该作者
3 8 独立do you agree with this statement: it is more enjoyable to have a job, and you work only three days a week long hours rather than work five days a week with shorter hours

Working five days a week has been widely accepted for a long period of time, people are getting used to having two days-off after a week's struggling. Advanced technology improves worker productivity, at the meantime artificial lighting made it possible to work longer each day. Thus some people claim that people should be allowed to work three days a week with long hours, which allow individuals to have more leisure time. On the contrary, I endorse that people will enjoy the high efficient of working five days a week. The reasons are as follows.

Balancing work and rest time allows people to accomplish work more efficient. A recent test, conducted by China science department, shows that people usually get fatigue after 8 hours' work, if people were asked to work for extra time, they may find it is difficult to concentrate on the work and be easily distracted. Working for a long time a day seemly has prolonged the work time and increased productivity, the fact is that working for extra hours, inefficient work, makes no sense and even has a negative influence on the next day's performance.

A shorter day relaxing lets people getting back to work readily. Working three days a week means there are four days left for the people to relax. Nonetheless people always cannot adapt to the fast-paced working life after a long vacation, which is called post holiday syndrome. a long journey, irregular eating habit and broken biological clock may all be the factor that lead to the feelings of agitation and the drooping spirits. On the contrary, two days' vacation is just a proper time, people can release the working pressure, and be in a good condition at the beginning of the next week. From this way, people can not only get relaxed but also feel energetic.

Admittedly, four days off allows people to take a trip to another country or some where far from the place they live. Some people argue that two days is too short to go out for sightseeing. The only thing they can do on weekend is staying home and watching TV, which they cannot endure any longer. In fact, if people are permitted to have four days weekend, most of which will choose to travel to other place. A huge number of people going out mean congested road and difficult reserved room and airplane. Thus these problems may bring people lots of inconvenience. Furthermore,  the transportation may be overloaded due to countless people, and also lead to high carbon emission, which may do harm to the environment.

Take account what I have discussed above, I strongly believe that working five days a week will bring people more enjoyment and also release the burden the of the transportation and the environment.
希望以及为了希望所付出的醉生梦死般的努力,才是我们青春存在的意义。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
15
寄托币
444
注册时间
2011-2-25
精华
0
帖子
12
111
发表于 2012-3-10 16:37:31 |只看该作者
3.8 已改
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
11
寄托币
930
注册时间
2011-11-29
精华
0
帖子
77
112
发表于 2012-3-10 18:26:43 |只看该作者
改好了~~~
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9

声望
1974
寄托币
14467
注册时间
2012-2-1
精华
5
帖子
3423

备考先锋 AW小组活动奖 IBT Zeal IBT Smart Virgo处女座 满1年在任版主 US-applicant

113
发表于 2012-3-11 13:29:01 |只看该作者
3 9 100828NA since people care public recognitionmore than money, they will work hard to obtain public recognition even thoughthere is no more money given 个人 社会

Since the economy has developed at a rapid rate, people earn much more money than before. Thus instead of worrying about the problems of food supplement, people pay more attention on the public recognition. Some people claim that person who seeks public recognition is like a dog chasing his own tail who, when captures it, discovers it is only a tail. Those people finally get nothing after a long time pursuing. Thus they believe that focusing on the money is of more importance.  On the contrary, I endorse that people who care more public recognition can benefit both themselves and society. The reasons are as follows.

Admittedly, people need money to support their family. Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist, develops a theory of the hierarchy of needs a pyramid depicting the levels of human needs, psychological and physical. Since people earn more money than before, people's physiological needs, the first level including food and shelter, has been met, people then purse higher level, which including the public recognition. From Maslow's theory we know that people chasing the public recognition is based on their gratified physiological need. If a person even cannot make himself a living, it is ridiculous for them to pursue the public recognition. Nonetheless, nowadays most people can earn themselves for a living. Why not devote ourselves in obtaining public recognition, and things we get from these are overweighing than the money.

A person who pays more attention on obtaining public recognition is more likely to have a chance to get promotion. Take me for an instance. When I got my first job after graduated from university, I worked very hard in order to gain the recognition from my boss and colleagues, working late or even over night to accomplished my task and being polite to everyone. After couples of months working, nearly almost of people in this company knew that I was considerate and diligent including my boss. Finally I got a position of deputy manager, furthermore, my boss invested me to his co-worker, which offered me a chance to know more celebrities and learn from them. Public recognition plays a crucial part in one's success, and people should work hard to gain it regardless of money.

Additionally, people may devote themselves to the charity to gain public recognition which has profound positive effect on society. Run Run Shaw, a film maker in Hong Kong, launched TVB and grew it into a multi-billion dollar TV empire ranking today as one of the top 5 television producers in the world. Over the years, He has donated billions of dollars to charity, especially the education career. Even all the universities in china have a building or library that is named after Run Run Shaw. He devotes all his life in charity, which helps him to gain recognition widely. Furthermore, university has fund to improve their facilities, from which students can benefit a lot.

Take into account what have been discussed above. I strongly believe that people will work hard to obtain public recognition which benefits both individuals and society
希望以及为了希望所付出的醉生梦死般的努力,才是我们青春存在的意义。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9

声望
1974
寄托币
14467
注册时间
2012-2-1
精华
5
帖子
3423

备考先锋 AW小组活动奖 IBT Zeal IBT Smart Virgo处女座 满1年在任版主 US-applicant

114
发表于 2012-3-11 13:29:14 |只看该作者
3 10 spending more money on traveling or saving for the future

As economy developed at an unprecedented speed, people earn more money than before. At the meantime, advanced transportation brings modern people convenience to go anywhere. Thus, some people claim that people should spend more money on the traveling, which will broaden people's horizon. However, others stand on the opposite ground, they argue that it is not easy for us to earn such amount of money, and we need some savings for our development and in case of emergency. In my point of view, I endorse the former issue that it is worthwhile to spend money on traveling, the reasons are as follows.

Going out for sightseeing enables people to broaden their horizon, and learn knowledge that cannot get in textbooks. If you have never reached the Great Wall, you will never know how grand it is; if you have never been to France, you will never know the true meaning of romance; if you have never gotten to top of a mountain; you will never know what a flourish world we are living in. These are the things that we cannot learn from textbook, which only convey the pale information by rigid words. Furthermore as world are changing at a rapid rate, things learnt in books is far more enough for us to know the real world, traveling to other places allows people to cultivate their sense of.

Additionally, having a trip to somewhere is also a good way for people to relax. In this highly competitive society, people are under considerable pressure, they need a method to release themselves, and thus going out for sightseeing is a wise alternative. Take me for an instance; I got a job in one of top 500 companies when I graduated from university. Less work experience and high-work load even drove me crazy; I decided to go for a trip to New Zealand. All things there were new to me, and warm sunlight and fresh air let me to forget all my problems and difficulties and I just enjoyed the beauty of nature. After couples of week’s vacation, I felt energetic and devoted myself to the work again.

Admittedly, saving is important when an emergency taken place. Since no one can predict future that we do not know what will happen tomorrow, some saving is very necessary when dealing with an emergency. Last summer, my grandmother happened to have a car accident, which required a large amount of money to be rescued. Thanks to all my family members’ saving, my grandmother was saved and recovered few months later. I cannot imagine what will happen if we do not have enough money at that time.

It is true that saving plays a crucial part in one’s life journey, like getting medical treatment or paying for tuition. But that does not mean that we have to save all the money we have earned, going out for sightseeing benefits us lot both in psychology and physical. Therefore, I strongly believe that people should spend more money on travling.
希望以及为了希望所付出的醉生梦死般的努力,才是我们青春存在的意义。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9

声望
1974
寄托币
14467
注册时间
2012-2-1
精华
5
帖子
3423

备考先锋 AW小组活动奖 IBT Zeal IBT Smart Virgo处女座 满1年在任版主 US-applicant

115
发表于 2012-3-12 16:51:44 |只看该作者
3月11日 110829NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: In some circumstances, patience is not a good thing and instead we should take action at once.
As people all have been educated to be patience whenever what situation people are facing, because taking action at moment is regarded as rude and less consideration. Nonetheless, some people argue that in some occasions we should make decision right away because of the limited time. It may be too late to make decision if people taking a long period of time pondering. I endorse the former issue, due to only after a long period of time pondering can we make right decision, a less considered decision may lead to a bad result or even make mistakes that cannot revered.

I have to concede that people have to make up their mind quickly in some occasions. For example, just like the old says goes that chance are ephemeral, if we do not catch it at a second we meet it, we may lose it. Nonetheless, there is also an idiom that the chance is only for the person who made comprehensive preparation, and the process of making preparation is exactly the time that we are waiting for the chance. It requires long term endurance and secondly, it accompanies many other obstacles and difficulties. There is unfair judgment, mistreatment, people underestimate your abilities or simply just do not give you your due. These are testing times and these are the times you need to be at your toes the most. All you have to do is be patient, and keep doing what you are doing, persevere continuously and remain hopeful of the future.

Getting to know everything clearly before making decision, through which people can make a correct decision. Take me for am example. When I was a freshman in university, I was curiosity about all the things around. Then the students union came to us for enrolling new members, most of my classmates went to get an interview for almost all the department without thinking. On the contrary, I searched the university website to know which department suits me most, after which I made a decision to go to the study department. After a month of working, almost all of my friends complained about how boring the department was and they did not like it at all, which is all due to lacking of previous thinking. But I enjoyed the time working for the study department.

Furthermore, patience allows people to tide over the bottleneck period and finally lead people to success. There are times when people have done everything they can imagine and still do not get the result they want. When people are through this kind of period means they need to calm down and find out what is wrong. Perhaps the timing just is not right. Just keeping patience, people will get the payback soon.

If anyone still doubts that whether patience can be used under any circumstance, this essay will be my answer.
希望以及为了希望所付出的醉生梦死般的努力,才是我们青春存在的意义。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9

声望
1974
寄托币
14467
注册时间
2012-2-1
精华
5
帖子
3423

备考先锋 AW小组活动奖 IBT Zeal IBT Smart Virgo处女座 满1年在任版主 US-applicant

116
发表于 2012-3-13 00:15:08 |只看该作者
3月12日 100130NA: Do you agree with the following statement? The government should support scientific research even if there’s no practical use
As is know to all that the breakthrough made in science promote society to improved, like the invention of light which makes it possible for people to work in the night. However not all the scientific research will have practical use, whether it is wise or not for government to support the scientific research which has no practical use. Some people claim that government should put the fund in solving people's problem, like building schools in rural area. On the contrary, supporting is growing for the alternative theory that no one knows whether scientific research will be practical or not in the future, and government should support it. I endorse the latter issue, the reasons are as follows.

I concede that there are lots place may in desperate need of some fund to solve problems, some of which affect people's daily life. For instance, there are many rural areas need money to found a school for the children and also local hospitals need fund to improve their hospitalizing condition. Nonetheless, the development in science and technology may solve this problem in return. The advance technology makes it possible for the people to get good medical treatment with the help of the advanced equipment.

Some researches seem to be unpractical nowadays, but it does not mean it will be useless in the future. As no one can predict future, we all do not know what the world will be like in the after 50 years. The invention of computer is a good example. When the institution first decided to project the program of making a computer, which should be called enormous calculation, most people and even the inventor of the computer think it would not be used by common people. The purpose of making that huge machine might just for computing some abstract equations and problems, which seemingly of little practical use. No one in that time can imagine that the computers have been widely used by almost all the people, and have became an inevitable part of people's daily life. If government did not support the computer program, people's life will not be such convenient.


Furthermore, although some scientific researches seem to of less use, it helps people to know more about the world we are living in. Charles Darwin's on the origin of species, published in 1859, is a work of scientific literature which is considered to be the foundation of evolutionary biology. This research seems to be unpractical, because people will not be back to the past and it makes no sense to study the origin of species. Nonetheless, Darwin's work helps modern people to depict an image of what species were like in the past. In addition, it also gratifies people's curiosity of what our ancestors were like. All of things above enable people to make a comprehensive understanding about our world.

Take into account what have discussed above, thus I strongly believe that government should support the scientific research even if it has little practical use.
希望以及为了希望所付出的醉生梦死般的努力,才是我们青春存在的意义。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
11
寄托币
930
注册时间
2011-11-29
精华
0
帖子
77
117
发表于 2012-3-13 12:22:17 |只看该作者
3.9的改好了~
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
11
寄托币
930
注册时间
2011-11-29
精华
0
帖子
77
118
发表于 2012-3-13 16:48:51 |只看该作者
3.10lz进步很大的~~~加油~~~
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
2
寄托币
511
注册时间
2011-1-1
精华
0
帖子
31
119
发表于 2012-3-13 22:39:16 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 sillyds 于 2012-3-13 22:40 编辑

3月12日 100130NA: Do you agree with the following statement? The government should support scientific research even if there’s no practical use

As is know to all that the breakthrough made in science promote society to improved(promotes social development), like the invention of light which makes it possible for people to work in the night(at night). However not all the scientific research will have practical use, whether it is wise or not for government to support the scientific research which has no practical use. Some people claim that government should put the fund in solving people's problem, like building schools in rural area. On the contrary, supporting is growing for the alternative theory that no one knows whether scientific research will be practical or not in the future, and government should support it. I endorse the latter issue, the reasons are as follows(are stated as follow这个表达好像是这么用).

I concede that there are lots place may in desperate need of some fund to solve problems, some of which affect people's daily life(there are lots of problems closely related to people's daily lives are in desperate need of funds to be settled). For instance, there are many rural areas need money to found a school for the children and also local hospitals need fund to improve their hospitalizing condition. Nonetheless, the development in science and technology may solve this problem in return. The advance technology makes it possible for the people to get good medical treatment with the help of the advanced equipment.

Some researches seem to be unpractical(impractical) nowadays, but it does not mean it will be useless in the future. As no one can predict future, we all do not know what the world will be like in the after 50 years. The invention of computer is a good example. When the institution first decided to project the program of making a computer, which should be called enormous calculation, most people and even the inventor of the computer think it would not be used by common people(regard it as something unrealistic for common people). The purpose of making that huge machine might just for computing some abstract equations and problems, which seemingly of little practical use. No one in that time can imagine that the computers have been widely(could be so widely) used by almost all the people, and have became an inevitable part of people's daily life(and play such an essential part in people's lives). If government did not support the computer program, people's life will not be such convenient.

Furthermore, although some scientific researches seem to of less use, it helps people to know more(though seems to be less useful, some scientific researches have enabled people to have more knowledge) about the world we are living in. Charles Darwin's on the origin of species(Darwin的著作,书名似乎要用标点符号<>), published in 1859, is a work of scientific literature which is considered to be the foundation of evolutionary biology. This research seems to be unpractical, because people will not be back to the past and it makes no sense to study the origin of species. Nonetheless, Darwin's work helps modern people to depict an image of what species were like in the past. In addition, it also gratifies people's curiosity of what our ancestors were like. All of things above enable people to make a comprehensive understanding about our world.

Take into account what have discussed above, thus I strongly believe that government should support the scientific research even if it has little practical use.

文章总体一般,论述用例子来展开,但句子表达不流畅,
语法错误较多,纯属个人意见
由一开始我就知道这条路很难,但什么时候才会看见晨曦,让阳光照着我继续走下去

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
2
寄托币
511
注册时间
2011-1-1
精华
0
帖子
31
120
发表于 2012-3-13 22:41:40 |只看该作者
114# sodapeng

这篇写得很不错,句子很流畅,学习了
由一开始我就知道这条路很难,但什么时候才会看见晨曦,让阳光照着我继续走下去

使用道具 举报

RE: 【独立写作】sodapeng 托福写作 [修改]
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
【独立写作】sodapeng 托福写作
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1330242-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
报offer 祈福 爆照
回顶部