1006G【Ivy】的备考日记——既然选择了远方，便只顾风雨兼程

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

别人改的

TOPIC: ARGUMENT15 - The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors.

"Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and their profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares and other investors not to purchase stock in this company."
WORDS: 550         TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2008/10/21

In this argument, the author claims that Old Dairy company is not worthy for investors, because many products of Old Dairy are high in fat and cholesterol, which make people regard them as unhealthy foods. Yet, just based on the cursory survey and unsubstantiated assumptions, the argument is far away to be convincing.讨论来讨论去 这样的简单开局 最得民心

First of all, the reliability and generalizability of the survey is open to question. In this survey, 80 percent of the respondents want to reduce the intake of fats and cholesterol. However, the 80 percentage could be significant if the overall number of respondents is 10 million, while it could be meaningless if there are only 10 respondents in the survey. What is more, the backgrounds and health conditions of these respondents are also important. If the 80 percent respondents all suffer from obesity, heart diseases or diabetes, the result of the survey cannot represent the attitude of most healthy people. In addition, the location of the survey is kept unknown as well.归根到底 这还是一个representative的问题 可以放在前面人数的地方一块说 不用单独拿到这里来 Common sense informs us that in developed regions where overweight lists as one of the top health problems, people may highly concern about low-fat diets. While in some poverty region, the high-fat product might be more popular. If Old Dairy's markets mainly locate in the poverty regions other than developed regions, the influence of high-fat foods might be little. In a word, without detailed information of the respondents in the survey, the author can hardly draw to the conclusion that most people would refuse to choose Old Dairy's high-fat foods.

Secondly, the fact that low-fact foods abound in many stores lends little support to the conclusion. For one thing, there are many low-fact foods does not mean that high-fat foods are losing their customers.好！ It is entirely possible that the overall sale of low-fat foods is lower than high-fat foods. Some high-fat foods, such as butter, are dispensible(强烈引起关注阿 我改你文章 这个拼写错误已经不止一次了 是able不是ible) to many families. Also, the higher cost for producing low-fat foods may prevent them (from) gaining high profits.在这里提到利润有点唐突 你还可以谈一谈 low-fat food is popular的原因真的是因为low-fat而不是...  For another, the author does not cite whether the low-fat foods are competitors toward Old Dairy's products. If most of the low-fat foods are bread and soft-drink, while Old Dairy focus on ice-cream, the low-fat products can hardly threaten Old Dairy's sales.

Finally, granted the high-fat foods would influence Old Dairy's profit, it is still presumptuous to judge that Old Dairy's stock are not worthy for investing. On the one hand, according to the reputation of Old Dairy, it might still occupy a large market. After all, the price and taste of food are also play vital roles during the selling. Even though many of Old Dairy's products are not healthy, people may still love them. Furthermore, although many products of Old Dairy are high in fat and cholesterol, it does not preclude that Old Dairy also produce many healthy foods which are low in the two ingredients. Perhaps the healthy foods could guarantee Old Dairy’s high profit.  On the other hand, even if the price of Old Dairy's stock is declining, it may not the best chance to sell the stocks呵呵. If Old Dairy has already realized the problem and has made efforts to develop new healthy foods, Old Dairy's stock would have a high potential to increase. Considering the possible rise of price, it might be a wise investment to buy Old Dairy’s stocks, let alone keep them.

To sum up, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. It can be improved by considering the recent sales of Old Dairy’s products and the price movements of its stock. After all, the evaluation of the profitability of an investment needs comprehensive market surveys and long-term perspectives.

呵呵 行了 保证你拿个4分 肯定是没有问题了 争取冲击5分吧
毕竟准备很久了

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

TOPIC: ARGUMENT1 - The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."

While it is true that the facts presents above contribute to the idea that the residents in Plainsville concern about leading a healthy life, it can hardly be concluded from the facts that Nature's way company should build its new store in Plainsville.简单开头，我喜欢

In the first place, people in Plainsville may in the favor of wearing comfortable clothes during their leisure time since the suits and leather shoes are much too formal in their spare times. Therefore, it will not be surprising that the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are all-time highs. Moreover, perhaps Plainsville is a location which contains kinds of stadiums, in which various of sports are made everyday. So surely the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing will be high due to the enormous population taking exercise there. Thus, the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all time highs can not provide enough evidence that the residents in Plainsville are in favor of leading healthy lives as well as health food.这是在承认our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives.的基础上进行的论述，放到后面较好。放在第一段有些突然。

Second, there are many possible alternatives ignored, which can also greatly influence the health pub’s business. Perhaps the former management faculty of that club failed in increasing the pub’s attractiveness, which includes the quality of service, the infrastructure of the pub and etc, therefore, even people who like exercise would not like to attend the pub. So when the problems mensioned are solved properly, it is quite possible that the pub has more members than ever. Thus, there is no clear causal relationship between the increase of pub members and the increase of people who are interested in leading healthy lives.段中心句放在第一句比较好。

Finally, not all the next generations are participating the “fitness for future” program willingly. Given that people always reject compulsory things, the products of Nature’s way may be rejected subconsciously by the ones who attend the program nilly-willy. Even if all of the future generations participate the program actively, there are obviously differences between regular exercise and health food. 直接说两者无直接因果关系就好。It is highly possible that a man who is interested in basketball likes Coca-cola and hamburgers desperately. Thus, it is unwarranted that the next generation who participate the “fitness for life” program is surely the potential customers of the company.

To sum up, the argument is not sound as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the author has to provide more clear evidence that there are causal relationships between the high sales of running shoes and exercise clothing and the concern of leading healthy lives. To make it more convincing, the author also has to prove that people who participate in 'fitness for life' program would also be interested in health food.

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

别人改

"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."

While it is true that the facts presented above contribute to the idea that the residents in Plainsville concern about leading healthy lives (注意复数), it can hardly be concluded from the facts that Nature's way company should build its new store in Plainsville.

In the first place, people in Plainsville may in the favor of wearing comfortable clothes during their leisure time since the suits and leather shoes are much too formal in their spare times. Therefore, it will not be surprising that the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are all-time highs. Moreover, perhaps Plainsville is a location which contains all kinds of stadiums, in which various of sports are made everyday. So surely the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing will be high due to the enormous population taking exercise there. Thus, the sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all time highs can not provide enough evidence that the residents in Plainsville are in favor of leading healthy lives as well as health food.
开头很突兀,如果能先指出作者fails to provide evidence that the residents in Plainsville are in favor of leading healthy lives as well as health food会更好一点.

Second, there are many possible alternatives ignored, which can also greatly influence the health of pub’s business. Perhaps the ability of former management of that club failed in increasing the pub’s attractiveness Perhaps due to lacking of savvy ability, the former manager fails to get more public attractiveness for the pub, which includes the quality of service, the infrastructure of the pub and etc, therefore, even people who like exercise would not be likely to attend the pub. So when the problems mentioned are solved properly, it is quite possible that the pub has more attendants than ever. Thus, there is no clear causal relationship between the increase of pub members and the increase of people who are interested in leading healthy lives.
同样的问题,最后的错误最好在段首指出来,这样头句在后面接着说.
Finally, it is important to know that not all the next generation is willing to participate this program named “fitness for future”. Given that people always reject compulsory things, the products of Nature’s way may also be rejected subconsciously by the ones who attend the program nilly-willy(??). Even if all of the next generation participate the program actively, there are obvious differences between regular exercise and health food. It is highly possible that a man who is interested in basketball likes Coca-cola and hamburgers desperately. Thus, it is unwarranted that the next generation who participate the “fitness for life” program is surely the potential customers of the company.

To sum up, the argument is not sound as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the author has to provide more clear evidence that there are causal relationships between the high sales of running shoes and exercise clothing and the concern of leading healthy lives. To make it more convincing, the author also has to prove that people who participate in 'fitness for life' program would also be interested in health food.

提个小意见: 你的结尾句可以放在开头来说,就我个人而言我觉得段首句应该是先指出大致错误,然后说明理由,再顺势总结.
语言上面还需要提高,不过我这方面做的也不好,所以帮你修改的不多!
加油吧!

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

TOPIC: ARGUMENT137 - The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.
"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."
WORDS: 554          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2008/10/9

In this argument, the author claims that the Mason City need to improve the publicly owned lands along the Mason River, because after the river is cleaned up, more and more people will use the river for recreational activities. Close scrutiny shows that the evidences lend little support to the conclusion.

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that the residents of Mason City need to use Mason River for recreation. In this argument, the author cites that residents of Mason City are fond of water sports. If it is true, there must be many good places in Mason City for swimming, fishing, and boating. The gyms in this city must all have swimming pools because swimming is popular. There maybe several parks in the city where people can go for fishing or boating. If not, how can the residents consistently rank water sports as their favorite? For that matter, people will not eager to use Mason River as another place for water sports. Therefore, it is not necessary to improve the public lands along the river.简单句多，句语句之间衔接不够紧密。逻辑不连贯。

What is more, the author fails to consider other possible reasons for the seldom using of Mason River. No evidence shows that the quality of the water is the most important reason which prevent people to use Mason River for recreation. It is entirely possible that Mason River is too terrantial to be used for swimming or boating regardless how clean the water it is. Or perhaps there is a chemical factory nearby the river so that eating fish in the river is not healthy. The location of Mason River is also important, is it near the residential area? Without ruling out other possible reasons, the author can not convince me that residents will go to Mason River for recreation after the water is cleaned up.

The author also unfairly assumes that the Mason River will be definitely cleaned up. Although the agency has announced plans to clean up Mason River, it can not guarantee that the plans will be effective. Announcement is one thing, operation the cleaning plan is anoher thing. No evidence shows that the agency is responsible enough. If the agency is responsible and efficient, why there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river? If they keep the quality of the water well, there would be no need to clean up it. It would be better to disscuss the budget after the river is truely cleaned up.提了很多问题。批判不是让你提问题，而是用你的语言去反驳作者的观点，把那些问题换成自己的观点来反驳。Rater看了那些问题会感觉你在让他们帮你回答，会很反感。

Even if we accept all the assumptions, it does not necessarily means the Mason City council need to add budget for improvements to the public lands along the river. Nothing is mentioned the condition of the public lands, and we can not conclude that the lands can not meet residents needs. Does people need to use the public lands when they do water sports? In addtion, increasing budget will add the tax of residents, does that worth the cost?

To sum up, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To substantiate it, the author need to do some detailed suverys about why people seldom use Mason River for water sports, and cite more evidence show that the agency will clean up the river. Furthermore, more datas are needed in order to bolster the plan for improving the public lands along the river.

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

这篇改的相当细致，借鉴一下

TOPIC: ARGUMENT137 - The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.
"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."
WORDS: 554          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2008/10/9

In this argument, the author claims that the Mason City need to improve the publicly owned lands along the Mason River, because after the river is cleaned up, more and more people will use the river for recreational activities. Close scrutiny shows that the evidences lend little support to the conclusion. 其实我一直很支持简单的开头 把精力投入到正文写作 这样的开头不错

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that the residents of Mason City need to use Mason River for recreation. In this argument, the author cites that residents of Mason City are fond of water sports. If it is true, there must be many good places in Mason City for swimming, fishing, and boating. The gyms in this city must all have swimming pools because swimming is popular. There maybe several parks in the city where people can go for fishing or boating. If not, how can the residents consistently rank water sports as their favorite? 可能是因为我对这篇argu的批驳定位于那个本身不确定的survey 所以我觉得你这里的写法太过于武断 本身也可以被批驳 喜欢水上运动 这个城市就一定要有很多地方可以游泳？ 喜欢水上运动 每个体育馆都有必要有游泳池？而且介于这只是个调查 完全有可能因为调查的不合理 比如备选选项很少 除了水上运动 其他运动大家更不喜欢才勉强选水上运动 而且喜欢水上运动就一定会去实践吗？ 这也未必吧 很多人都是做调查的时候说喜欢 可究竟去不去参加 又是两码事情了 For that matter, people will not eager to use Mason River as another place for water sports. Therefore, it is not necessary to improve the public lands along the river. 所以我觉得应该这样批驳 首先调查本身是值得怀疑的----- 也许被调查者不具有代表性 比如在游泳馆附近展开调查 所以很有可能mason居民根本不是那么喜欢水上运动 即使他们真的很喜欢水上运动 ---------那么很有可能mason市已经有很多游泳馆公园可以满足他们的需求了 根本没有必要增加.... 个人觉得argument里面凡是出现 study survey research 一般都有问题

What is more, the author fails to consider other possible reasons for the seldom using of Mason River. No evidence shows that the quality of the water is the most important reason which prevent people to(有 prevent to? 我语法不好 告诉我一声 呵呵) use Mason River for recreation.赞 一语点破 argu就是需要这种清晰明了的句子 It is entirely possible that Mason River is too terrantial to be used for swimming or boating regardless how clean the water it is. Or perhaps there is a chemical factory nearby the river so that eating fish in the river is not healthy.这个例子比较一般 都chemical factory 哪里还敢游泳 钓鱼不健康 游泳就更不健康了 The location of Mason River is also important, is it near the residential area? 这里应该在加一句吧 这样结束太唐突了 至少加一个if not, 怎么样怎么样 Without ruling out other possible reasons, the author can not convince me that residents will go to Mason River for recreation after the water is cleaned up.

The author also unfairly assumes that the Mason River will be definitely cleaned up. Although the agency has announced plans to clean up (the) Mason River, it can not guarantee that the plans will be effective. Announcement is one thing, operation the cleaning plan is anoher thing.(这个用法确定吗？ 确定告诉我一声) No evidence shows that the agency is responsible enough. If the agency is responsible and efficient, why there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river? If they keep the quality of the water well, there would be no need to clean up it.关于这个批驳点我觉得从这个方面去写不太好 我觉得问题不是出在这个agency负责不负责上 而是在于他们是否真的有办法把水弄干净 弄干净以后 居民一定会买账吗？ 毕竟有心理阴影 这个道理很像 经过处理过的污水再生成为饮用水 尽管科学表明肯定没问题 可是你真的一定能接受吗？你这样写觉得有点牵强哈～  这里最好加一个连词therefore.否则突然反应不过来 It would be better to disscuss the budget after the river is truely cleaned up.

Even if we accept all the assumptions, it does not necessarily means the Mason City council need to add budget for improvements to the public lands along the river. Nothing is mentioned the condition of the public lands, and we can not conclude that the lands can not meet residents needs. Does people need to use the public lands when they do water sports? In addtion, increasing budget will add the tax of residents, does that worth the cost? 还成 中规中矩

To sum up, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To substantiate it, the author need to do some detailed suverys about why people seldom use Mason River for water sports, and cite more evidence(+s?) show that the agency will clean up the river. Furthermore, more datas are needed in order to bolster the plan for improving the public lands along the river.

恩 的确限时会有一些影响 看得出逻辑问题就没有办法思考的这么严密了～
这方面还是要锻炼 而且很多例子的确在短时间内 很难想得很完美
模板的痕迹感觉更加重了 加油多练肯定会有效果的！

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

12月14日
写了一篇a一篇i
没有限时，写a的感觉是，改别人的文章总觉得逻辑不连贯，轮到自己才发现，要写的连贯一定要步步衔接，对想我这种对语言把控不自如的人来说，只有用字数来填补这个空缺。这个目标没限时可以实现，限时就比较难了。所以唯有提高语言效率是王道。
写i的感觉，虽然例子准备了很多，但是文章应偏重说理，例子只是起到锦上添花的作用，所以很多都没用上。问题比较严重的是文章结构，思路的构思需要很长时间。短时间来写的话，质量不会太高。一个字，还得练啊~！

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

送上两篇作文链接，求猛拍！
Issue的
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1041197-1-1.html
Argument的
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1040980-1-2.html

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

12月15日
上课+朋友生日，基本没有复习。
明天加油！

zhengchangdianUID: 2563082

楼主好勤奋，二战好战友，加油哈！:lol

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

过奖了~努力得还不够呢！
二战一起加油啊！
99# zhengchangdian

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

12月16日
离AW还有一个月时间
从今天起，进入30天倒计时！
话说昨天给朋友庆生刷夜唱歌，眯了两个小时，一大早又奔去学校上口译！
困得不行啊，努力集中精神还是一直在磕头~
真是体会到自己老了啊！老了！熬不住啦~~！

作文精写阶段开始，争取每天1a1i。
看了“SILENTWINGS教你写GRE句子"受用蛮大。贴上来分享一下~

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

链接地址让我搞丢了，把原文贴上来

SILENTWINGS教你写GRE句子--前言及使用说明

GRE写作在主要考察考生在行文段落中的逻辑要素的同时，也规定了考生必须具备一定高级的语言能力写作功底，即STANDARD ENGLISH的写作能力。对于英语为第二语言的中国考生来说，逻辑性的要素固然陌生而繁杂，但是可以借助一些基本的逻辑训练和前人经验得到攻克，而相反，从小到大学习的语言能力，尤其是写句子的能力，包括现在要求写具有一定ACADEMIC和COMPLICATED的 句子的能力表现出极大的困惑。而如今市面上和网上的参考文献和资料多半仍然将重点放在句子的组织和概略性的技巧上。这些技巧的确可以帮助考生，尤其是英语 专业的学生取得长足进步，但是对于其他本来英语写作能力较差的考生来说，其“可操作性”在短期内未能见长。有鉴于此，适逢作者在大量阅读外文期刊论文以及 国外专家的应试美文中日积月累，提炼了上千句上乘的脍炙人口的好句子，在托付友人进行职业培训时起到了极其惊人的效果。笔者的前作《2004爱让我舍得为你放弃》至今仍影响了一批批在GRE AWA道路上的勇士们的关注，让笔者感动不已。同时，原文中的疏漏和谬误仍让笔者时时耿耿于怀，于是更决心将自己与战友积累的宝贵素材编辑出来以助广大G友一臂之力。正如笔者所言，逻辑性的突破可以推荐读者参考一些GRE写作参考书或者相关网络资料，以及笔者不久即将推出的〈2004爱〉修订版的〈2005爱在灯火阑珊处〉——GRE逻辑写作全接触。而语言能力的突破，笔者曾推荐背诵写作工具箱，虽然长期坚持必有大进，但是很多考生仍然身心甚为疲惫，无法在短期内达到应有效果。于是，这些读者可以借助以下这个专题，通过熟悉操练笔者精选出的100个常用简单而十足地道的句型在GRE写作中表现得游刃有余，突破高分。具体操作请见下5点：

1．  该专栏将连载20期，每期5个句型或者短语操练，笔者将给出相关解释和用法，请读者仔细品位。
2．  在 （例子）中笔者在每期中给出两句句子的中文注释，该注释不是对要写出句子的精确翻译，而是一个在写作中大脑所反映出的思路印象。因为作为中国考生，要像西 方人那样直接用英语思维来写作而抛开母语的干扰是不可能的事情，因此面对用中文思维来构思，用英文来模仿英文思维来构筑句群是本项练习的着眼点所在。因 此，这里的注释其实就是读者在写作中想到的要表达的那个“意思”。同时，又为了使读者的写作有依据性，这里的注释都在遵循基本中文语序的基础上还是做了些 “欧化”的处理，这在插入语句中尤为明显。所以，读者要做的就是将这个意思，利用笔者介绍的相关句型和短语，参考用法，合理地道和大胆地写在下面的跟帖 里。
3．  笔者将在下期开始前，给出参考答案，以及读者在跟帖里所发掘出的好句子，但该项目标的前提是希望大量的GRE考生能够积极参与进来，后面参加练习的读者也可以从中借鉴到前面练习者的水平，取长补短，每天5个句型，10句句子，练习量不是很大，20天后100句型，200句子足够可以让读者在考试中写出一手漂亮的句子，请读者一定要有这个信心。
4．  为了保持语言的地道性和保持难度的适中和可操作性，笔者对许多复杂句型一律删繁就简，并结合实际考试状况做了大量的改编，确保各种句型和写作要素（倒装，插入，独立主格，抽象词汇和标点符号等）都能覆盖到。
5．  千万注意：读者请仔细操练，重点学会如何将中文“意思”用地道的英文语序和地道的英语表达“简明变化”的予以表现。千万不要去死记硬背这些句子，那对于读者 没有任何好处。笔者所要苛求的境界是赵氏书法中所倡导的“融汇百家而了无痕迹”，只有这样读者才能真正学有所成，从而克服了死背工具箱的疲乏和无聊。同时 请大家务必要吸收参考答案中的漂亮表达和地道用词，标题给出的句型和用法只是框架，更多的漂亮和常用表达将在这些例子的写作中自然地得以依托而生。在练习 中不要患得患失，而是报以学习的态度，不断积累，反复对照参考答案以及其他网友的漂亮表达进行不断操练，并有意识地融入到自己每天的作文写作当中。如此下 去，相信当读者坚持练习到最后一期时，已经忽然发现自己“妙笔生花”，此种美感简直无法言语！

本书的句型都深入浅出，尤其适合英语写作能力基础薄弱和水平一般的考生读者朋友。希望能够得到大家的踊跃参与和支持！同时，本文成文仓促，文中错误在所难免，恳请广大读者不吝赐教，予以指正！笔者的联系方式：

EMAIL：silentwings2004@hotmail.com

该书由SILENTWINGS组编完成，其中尤其要感谢清华大学金融系的丫丫，扬州大学的杨欣荣，浙江大学玉泉校区的LEMONTREE，以及一直给予我们关怀的华东区和华南区的战友们。

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

SILENTWINGS教你写GRE句子（一）

1．  The saying is used to point out that …… 这个说法用来指出
（用法）常用在引用的名人名言或者俚语之后，用以表达作者自己引文的目的，立场或观点。
（例子）        讽刺的是，这种说法指出在我们之中普遍存在一种倾向，认为他人总是比自己幸运。
[KEY] The saying is used ironically to point out that there is a temptation in us all to insist that others are more fortunate than ourselves.
[借鉴] （1）Ironically, the saying is used to point out that there is a trend among us that others are always luckier than ourselves.
注：该句基本达到了句中意思的要求，而且表达简洁清晰，符合标准。
（2）Ironically, the saying is used to point out that there is a common
tendency between us pointing out that others are always more lucky than
ourselves.
注：该句虽然意思表达明确，但是在一个句子中连用两个point out，犯了重复的大忌，希望引起大家注意。
（3）Ironically the saying is used to point out a trend among us that others are all luck dogs except self.
注：这个句子首先副词在前，一般要用逗号搁开，另外luck只是名词，幸运儿用lucky dogs是 可以的，但是在书面语中体现一些非正式的诙谐，宜用引号括起。另外，作者在将意思转化成英文时，理解上已经有所大的偏差，因为原来的中文意思是说别人比自 己更幸运，换言之，只是比较程度上的问题，并没说自己不幸运。出现这种问题的句子还有些，希望这些读者朋友注意，在将自己想到的意思转化成英文时，注意逻 辑上的一致性，这对于GRE写作上往往会成为致命伤！

（例子）这种说法不变地指出一味抱怨和责备他人并不能消除贫困，无论其他人如何卑鄙，每个人都必须靠自己来获得成功。
[KEY] The saying is used invariably to point out that poverty cannot be reduced by merely complaining and blaming others: no matter how guilty other people are, each individual must reach out to success for himself.
[借鉴]（1）The saying is used to point out that it would be of no use to eliminate
poverty by only complaining and abusing others and everyone should rely on
himself to attain success no matter how abject others are.
注：该句子基本将句子中的意思表现了出来，也没有明显语法错误，只是在用词上存在些许问题。Abject主要是用来形容humble，hopeless的状态，意思为“卑屈的”，跟“卑鄙的”意义不同。
（2）The saying used to constantly point out that only complaining and blaming others cannot obviate poverty, instead, no matter how mean others are, everyone must depend upon self to attain success.
注：该句意义表达还是相当清晰，但是在小处上错误仍然出现。首先，主句漏掉了谓语动词is，后面instead引出语义重心，因此应该前面宜用分号分隔。

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

12月17日
第一次在群里开会，觉得好有动力好温暖。
真希望这次大家能并肩作战，共度难关~无敌的R组，加油！

aladdin.ivyUID: 2596664

单词互查贴，很好的帖子
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1037628-2-1.html