修改铺（要关门儿了哈）——BY 都说了不是又八

海凝冷月UID: 2604584

Issue 15- The stability of a society depends on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior.

用时：53分钟   字数：434
第一次写作文  狠一点评吧  谢谢喔
The speaker claims that the response of a society towards the extremes of human behavior determines the stability of it. I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion, however, I also admit that this kind of response is not the sole warrant of the societial stability.

The treatment of a society towards the extreme human behaviors, especially those evil ones such as murder or arson, mirrors the bottom line of its moral value. Though differs from countries to countries, almost all communities show their determination to eliminate severe crimes as thorough as possible. Governments enact rules and regulations, and punishment if necessary, to regulate the behaviors of their citizens. China, as well as 27 states in the United States, allows death penalty for those who commited unforgivable crimes. These punishments, though seem brutal, help to establish the basic societal order which can contribute to the harmony of the society.

The extremes of human behaviors, on the other hand, represent not only the evil ones. Tremendous contributions are also included. The encouragement and reward given by the government towards those who have devoted their lives to making contributions to the welfare of people and the prosperity of society can also serve as the stimulus for its citizens in persuit of achivements beneficial both themselves and the whole community. Firstly, the government can by this way provide those misery teenagers with a shining beacon of advancement. In addition, it will trigger grown-ups to strive for acomplishments in assorted fields, which will fortunately enhance the overall living conditions the the society. Last but not the least, a favourable atmosphere where respects knowledge and talent and outstanding people can be established, which can lead the society to the track of sound progress.

Admittedly, how a society responds to the extremes of human behavior plays a consequentail role for its stability. There are still other matters, however, contribute to the hamouny of a society. So long as the poverty still exists, so long as the hunger and starvation are not eliminated, so long as discrimination is not thoroughly gone, there will still be potential threat for the stability and harmony of society.

In sum, the social stability, to some extend, relies on the government's response towards the extremes, whether evil or admirable, of human behavior, though it is not the sole matter that affect the harmony. Governments should take measures to ensure equality of rules and regulations, to amplify incentive scheme for those who have made their marks in respective fields, and to trackle enduring problems such as starvation and poverty, so as to ensure the stability and promote the prosperity.

都说了不是又八UID: 2728357

78# chalia



很久没打一打argument了……嗯。


117. The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.


"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."

首先明确一下这个argument里面的逻辑脉络……
最开始的地方，这个调查，是一切的根源。逻辑链大致是这样的



一．调查显示70%以上的人们带更多的工作回家。
二．1.要增加home office machine
2.要增加office supplies stocking
三．结论：OS业务必然最赚钱。

亦即是说，这个argument走的是一个链状的结构。从一到三，每次推断都是臆断。最后推出会赚钱的结论。那么这样看来，我们第一段的行文结构与整个文章的大致行文【顺序】就差不多定型了。

带着上面的分析来看第一段：
In this memo the business manger claims that office-supply departments will become the most profitable store（分析错误了。他们说department是会成为【store里】最赚钱的【部门】，而不是像这样成为最赚钱的【store】。） in V by augmenting its inventories of both home office machines and office supplies（最好加上stocking，这样能和原文对应好。或者从hom到os都进行一定的原文改写。）. To validate this assertion, the business manger quotes a survey which reveals that most people nowadays have endured greater pressure（你在臆断。把这个pressure拿走。） of taking unfinished work back home than before.（嗯，看到了哈，在这个argument里面其实就应该将这个survey放在最前面来说。因为这样和argument原文的顺序是最合拍的。） Scrutinize examination of each the supporting evidence, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the author’s allegation.（哈
模板句出糗了。仔细看，none of them lend credible support。THEM从哪儿来？你可能会说：那个是论据呀。但是看清楚哈，整个文章实实在在的论据只有一个：就是之前的那个survey。在这里如果没有说清楚以上各个环节之间的逻辑联系，每一环都是臆断，一环推一环等等，而只是单纯套上一个模板句，那么就糟糕了= =不仅第一段完全米有好印象，接下来的行文中也不会有非常漂亮的深入理解了）


The major problem with this argument is that increase of stocks in both office supplies and office machines accomplishes nothing toward bolstering the assertion that the office-supply departments will become the most profitable store in V.
嗯，加上这样一段文字是显示自己对文章的理解吧。如果可能的话，这一段最好和上一段并在一起，并且在上一段中体现自己对于文章的理解。文字效率要尽可能高才好。


To begin with, the enhancement of home office machines and office stationery do not necessarily indicate that the sales will increase similarly. The business manger overlooks a myriad of other possible factors which have great impact on the volume of sales, such as the quality of the product, the price and the after-sale service.（【反例】，是argument中间论述段的核心。第一，在反例出现之前，不要用这种太过于模板化的句子，而是应该稍微拿出点儿特色呀文采呀。可以自己积累点与别人不大一样的句子。第二，【反例】是argument论述的核心。我们尝试缩一下段，就会发现在这一段中你到底提供了多少有效的信息。然而我们很遗憾地发现，你除了说出【the quality of the product, the price and the after-sale service】这些词之外，没有进行任何哪怕是一点点的论述。第三遍重复：【反例】是argument的核心。在上面说the quality of the product,就必须要提出这个质量究竟是低还是高，会如何影响，在长期或者短期影响，可能造成的后果，等等。如何深入论述？先多写一点儿再说吧。 In short, without ruling out other possible factors that might contribute to the sales of a product, the manager cannot convince me on the basis of the increase of inventory.最后这行字没有任何正面作用。它在你的文章里说了两件事情：1.我这段写完了啊ETS，你们这帮混蛋给我看清楚！2.cannot convince me——没具体说清convince啥。作为一段的总结而不清不楚落下重要信息，你在间接告诉ETS判卷人：我是一个丢三落四稀里糊涂的人！你们看着给分吧！）
（嗯，看到了吧孩子，第一段是什么结构，后面就很可能是什么结构……你在第一段当中把这个部分放在了最前面，在下面行文中这就变成了第一段——与原文的顺序确实不一样的呀。）

好，第一段这样评述，后面华丽从略。
Moreover, even if the sales in office-supply department will increase likewise, the manager unfairly assumes further that the office-supply department will surpass all other departments in V.（同上。） the manager fails to make a sensible comparison between office-supply department and other departments. Comparing with others, it is entirely possible that the initial turnover in office-supply department is so small, that only a growth tendency in sales is far from enough to help the department to become the most profitable among all.（这是可能性1.） Another possibility is that the one of the other department, for example grocery department, may have a more remarkable growth tendency than the office-supply department.（这是可能性2。）（哈，接下来就没了。） Since the memo fails to account for this alternative explanation, the manager cannot make any sound claim that the office-supply department will become the most profitable department in V only by increasing the stocks.



Another point worth considering is that there is no evidence showing that people who are required to take more work back home indicate a larger market demand for home office machines or office stationery. In the world of connection, it is equally possible that most of the office clerks can finish their work by using personal computer through internet. That is to say, they do not need to prepare more stationery at home, or even buy the printers and paper shredders which seem to be an unnecessary expense for them.（这是情况1而且绝大多数是你自己的小推测= =） Since the business manager has not adequately responded to this concern, the fact that there are more people are required to take unfinished work home proves nothing about the increase demand for home office appliance.



Yet another problem with the memo involves is the survey which suggests an upward trend of taking work back home is independable.（这个你应该归到刚才那个部分吧。同样都是调查真实性有效性的问题，放在一起阐述可能会比较合适。） Firstly, the manager provides no evidence that the survey’s respondents are representative of the overall group of office clerks.（别这么公式化地说了一句就完事儿了呀，怎么个没代表性你倒是说清楚呀） Secondly, lacking the number of participants, it is possibly that people who respond to the survey is constituted an in sufficiently small sample compared to the overall group.（不是lacking the number，而是lacking the knowledge of= =类似的小错误很多，懒得一一找了。） In short, without better evidence that the survey is statistically reliable the manager cannot rely on it to draw any firm conclusions that the sales of Whirlwind are likely to increase dramatically.


In sum, as it stands the argument that the stocks in office-supply department should be expanded which will ultimately enable the department to become the most profitable one in V is wholly unpersuasive. To bolster it the business manager must show more detail statistics of the survey. To better assess the suggestion it would be useful to know whether there is a casual relationship between more requirement of taking work back home and the real purchase behavior of home office appliance. Also useful would be any information about other departments of the store that may help to justify whether a department will become the most profitable in V.根据上文你再写一写最后一段就好啦。上文分析出他们的薄弱环节，在最后一段扼要重新叙述一下他们的文章脉络结构。

语言不过多评点了。很规矩，但问题就是稍微有点儿太规矩了。让人眼前一亮的单词呀句法呀完全没有。读起来味道一般。
关键问题在于这一大片毛刺儿一般的小问题。等到你把它们都克服掉，逻辑也就上了一个巨大的档次了。加油。

after17UID: 2681985

http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-1058439-1-1.html我是第三天来了希望今天能改我的

ppa007hotUID: 2756040

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... 6amp%3Btypeid%3D101
希望能选上....先谢谢了

xiemeng2370UID: 2749773

哈哈~我也来一篇~看看能不能幸运的选中我

都说了不是又八UID: 2728357

81# after17



TOPIC: ISSUE70 - "In any profession-business, politics, education, government-those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."
WORDS: 516
TIME: 01:15:10
DATE: 2010/2/6 10:41:17

Do any leads in power should step down after five years?（语法错。Should any。第一句话就这样，你真的有认真修改过么。） The author claims so, by the reason that new leadership would make great progress. It is true that innovation in leadership should be ensured（innovation是革新，而放到这里略为不当）, however, the frequency had better（语法错。） to be five years is remained（remaining） uncertain.
第一句话就有几个大型语句不通的问题，基本功不行。
建议回去好好培养一下英文语感，否则在限时条件下还要思考语法结构，保证你要么写不完要么一堆错。语感怎么培养就不用多说了，有多少英文媒体就摸多少。
而且这第一段写得非常像argument。第一句话的问句基本没有力度。


First and foremost, it is a（an） efficient way（没有这么说的，efficient way） that leaders in power resign after several years to make the company, government and so forth to be vigor（vigorous）.（看得出你不光背了红宝书，而且是把红宝书的英文与中文意思一一对应地背。背单词的时候完全脱离英语语境。使用的时候缺乏语感。解决方法还是很简单：去接触原生的英文媒体。不是那种中国人编的21世纪报，你现在需要立刻大量接触英文的书报。单纯将红宝书上的东西想当然地放在作文里，又别扭又难看） As we all known（语法错。Know）, innovation is a vital factor for any institutions to flourish.（错。革新未必总能带来成功，历史上的保守派绝大部分都有他们自身的苦衷，而历史上的改革也确实大多数都是失败的。说话不要过于绝对，说出any institution的时候要想想这句话会不会留下小尾巴） With new leaders joining the teams, new ideas, different prospects for viewing problems are brought to the teams. In return, the productivity will be increased.（你是想说产量增加么。之前你还说政府呀，公司呀，等等，而提到了【产量】不就只有公司了么。前后矛盾了。） Let's supposed（时态错误。） a plot in a company which is a traditional manufactory in China.（这句话用which is 完全没有必要。这样繁琐地来回倒句子，不会让文章变得更精彩。）



The old leader president （丢词儿了）the company for 20 years and consequently he（he去掉） becomes dispassionate.（好，请问前面提到CHINA，而这里我没有看到任何与CHINA有一星半点儿关联的东西。而且严格说来，没有看到具体的时间地点人物名字，某种程度上这不算是一个例子。） As a result（逗号） employees in the company （are） also dispassionate and the productivity are（is） weakening（decreased）. If the old leader resigned, and a new president took over his position, with new blood coming to the company, there will be a boom again.（非常怀疑。没有提出任何可能性的论证。只要有新人加入，公司产能就能提升？那么我们干脆一个月裁一次员得了呗。老头老太太全拉出去直接毙了。） Common sense tells me that when we work with passionate ones, we will affected by them and become vigorous too.（孩子，看起来你是上过XDF。你现在没有在完成一篇文章，你没有在说你自己想说的话。机械地拿出所谓的【常识】来撑腰，只能显示出你内心的摇摆不定，以及对GRE作文的恐惧。生硬地去使用许多看起来生僻的词汇与复杂的句子，在种种不适应之下你居然忘了思考。

请说出你自己的思考。没有必要被种种外在的限制所牵绊。只要说出你自己关于这个题目的想法就可以了。


因为你直到现在还没有开始写作文。你只是在攒模板而已。我想看到你自己写的作文。


In addition, long-positioned leaders would become arrogant,（未必。） and adapt autocratic principles in their field.（adapt to。这个也未必。你现在论证的不是【文章本身】，而是【你自己对于文章的臆测】。这样下面的论证如同废纸。并不是人人呆久了都会变得官僚的。） There are many examples in the politics. For instance, the first Chinese president Mao Zedong, who is a great man in his youth and develops Chinese people's living standards, turned to be bureaucratic in his later years.（如果我是你的话，今后舍弃掉所有的与【中国】有关的例子。你连自己的素材库都没有开始组织，只是在单纯地吃老本。【建议你马上停止GRE写作练习，先阅读范文，背上十篇外国期刊杂志里的东西。如果我是你，回去立马找到economist的杂志网站，找十篇文章，一字不差地背下来，同时弄一个素材库。你现在写的东西没有任何价值，现在你只是把毫无价值的写作重复机械劳动而已。没有输入，就不用妄想漂亮的输出。你只是熟练地输出着一堆废物。】 In 1960s, he 发动（看到这个词我震惊了。1.你非常不认真。态度很恶劣。最起码的礼节问题你都没有注意。你从每天的写作练习中到底得到了什么？你真的有想得到什么东西么？高度怀疑。2.你在写作文的时候都是想好中文然后翻译成英语——非常不好。你需要在短时间之内接受大量英文媒体的轰炸，否则根本没有办法写出你自己的东西来。可以想象，你在写中文的时候也同样是套话一大堆的。） the ten year's revolution which affected millions of families and leaded to those families live in miserable lives which other politicians made great disapproval of his decision. This example tells us that long-time leadership does really harm to our country.



Wonderful though the suggestion that people in power should resign is, there is no evidence showing how many years is a good term for leadership.（这句话颠三倒四的，倒装有大问题。换成正常句。） While innovation is a fundamental part of benign leadership, stability also plays an essential key role in leadership. If our management is not stable, employees will wonder how to continue their work.（这一段的论证在第一段当中我没有看到。是你写着写着想出来的。这个时候你就要回到最前面把第一段改回来。别破罐破摔，必须为自己负责。）



Logically,（没有看到你为什么使用这个词。） different leaders adopt different principles in the management. Imagining（低级语法错误。） when employees just become suit for a policy, then the manager be changed and a new leader publishs a different policy. Consequently, the stability will be undermined. Still, no information indicates us that five years is a perfect term for leader ship.



The American president is four years, maybe in politics four years is a good term. However, this term may not suit for business. Considering different field has their own characteristics, the five years' suggestion is not fit for the whole.


Without innovation, our society cannot make great progress and suffer a risk to depress. Without stability, any organizations cannot operate in a normal way and in turn employees become desperate to the management. For my point of view, in order to prosper team it is better to combine innovation and stability together. That is to say profession in power should resign in a proper time, may be five years, or not.


下面不看了。前面的建议已经给的很清楚了。When I am after 17同学，应该是一个女孩子是吧。你需要认真思考一下，到底要不要接受这个考试。GRE的东西确实有难度，但是你现在的消极对待的态度很值得反思。确实你已经写了好几篇，但是在没有积累，只是盲目求助于XDF的情况下，你根本没有自己思考。或许深层次里你还是寄希望于外界的帮助。


拿出你自己的本事来。不要再继续写了，你现在需要更多的思考和积累。背上将近二十篇Economist（注意必须是能够完全默写），看上一百篇版友的习作，再把5分和6分的范文也背下来，相信你的积淀就足够了。接下来就是把你的积淀在一次次的写作中变成你写作的实力。当然如果短期内做到这些，相信你小半条命已经没有了。

如果时间无多，不要仓促上阵，建议推掉考试。抱歉话稍微毒了点儿。







自己看着办。

nieyongUID: 2742661

好楼主  我在你改规则之前的第五页就发了   帮俺改改吧~~~谢谢啦 辛苦啦
topic: issue203 "The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its heroines."

Heroes and heroines are generally regarded as the people who have the virtue that the society admires or those who contributes a lot to the development of society. But can we take it for granted that close scrutiny of the character of those heroes is actually an effective and appropriate way to understand the character of a society, which represents the core values of the society upholds? In my opinion, to some extent, it is justifiable. Nevertheless, it overlooks the diversification and complication of the society.

As an old saying goes, “A hero is known in the time of misfortune.” Heroes and heroines are made but not born. Nearly every society spontaneously chooses its heroes who are in accordance to current circumstance and they guide people’s way of thought that ultimately manifests the character of a society. One apt illustration involves the course of Dr King, Mandela, Castro and so forth. They devoted all their lives in guiding people of low class to fight for democracy and freedom they deserved. Through trial and error, hot national liberation movements were being carried on and the creed that "all men are created equal" was deeply rooted in every corner of the society.  In addition, as we all know, Helen Keller, worshipped for her courage and fortitude, have altered the whole society's perception of the disabled and even remapped the boundaries of sight and sense and the public good has been promoted.

However, with the rapid expansion of the society, the character of it becomes diversified, and given the complexity of the definition of heroes or heroines, people's ideal heroes may vary completely from each other, we are unable to conclude the character of a society merely by its choice heroes or heroines. One's hero may be a talented football player, leading his team to the top of the World Cup like Maradona. It may be an excellent magician, having some alleged superhuman skills like David Copperfield or the heroes saving others with no concern of death like the firefighters in the Sept. 11 attacks. Also, it may be our moral tutor Mother Teresa. There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's eyes, we cannot draw a conclusion from thousands of heroes with different qualities.

Furthermore, the embodiment of the society's character shouldn't be confined within its heroes; it also applies to the ordinary people. Such as social courtesy, helpfulness, caring for public property, environmental protection, and law-abiding, they are all virtues of the public that build the character of a society. Simultaneously, to cater the propaganda of media or the government, so-called heroes may be factitious and show his virtue on purpose, and this will surely lose its representativeness.

Since heroes and heroines cannot perfectly represent its society, we should have more integrated and acute perceptions. Comprehending the Institutional characteristics is the prerequisite of understanding the character of a society. Customs and routing duties of the heroes and heroines as well as the ordinary people are also essential aspects of it.

In conclusion, insightful discernment of all the factors together should be carried on this issue. We cannot study the character of a society completely via its heroes or heroines concerning the complexity and diversification of a huge society.

leehomshoneyUID: 2647264

3-1就考了，急望指点！！！
TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."



In this editorial, the author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To support his conclusion, the author points out that video game players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics which Whirlwind has just introduced. In addition, he indicates that people at 10 to 25 would be mostly likely to play such games. At first glance, the argument appears to be somewhat convincing, but further reflection reveals that it omits some substantial concerns that should be addressed in the argument.

A threshold problem of this argument is the validity of the survey. The arguer fails to provide who conducted the survey and how it was conducted, which has undermined the credibility of the survey. Also the statistics are not provided, which renders the result of the survey doubtful. Unless the survey provides a substantial result, the author couldn't confidently make this conclusion. In addition, even assuming the survey is somewhat convincing, no evidence reveals that players would buy games that provide lifelike graphics. As such games require the most up-to-date computers, which means a considerable amount of money will be paid beforing playing them. Actually, most players would hesitate to make such a decision.

Another problem is the author falsely depends on gratuitous assumption that  people at 10 to 25 years old would mostly incline to play video games. However, no evidence is stated in the argument to support this assuption. For instance, they would prefer to read books or do sports rather than to play video games to spend their leisure time. Even assuming that they are interested in playing video games,  it doesn't necessarily lead to their buying the video games, perhaps they don't have the time to play the games , or perhaps they can't afford to buy. Therefore,the conclusion is unwarranted without ruling out such possibilities.

Last but not least, the author commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. It is highly possible that other factors such as the economic condition and the competition with other companies would also affect the sales of the video games. For example, if the economy encounters recession, it is quite possible that fewer people would buy their games. In addition, if their rivals could provide more attractive similar products, then the increase would be highly  dubious.

To sum up, the author fails to substantiate his claim that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the author maintains. To make the argument more convincing, the author would have to provide more information that  people at 10 to 25 would be likely to buy video games. Additionally, he or she would have to demonstrate that other factors such like the economic condition would be suitable for introducing their products. Therefore, if the argument had included the gicen factors discussed above, it would have been more thorough and logically acceptable.

ppa007hotUID: 2756040

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... 6amp%3Btypeid%3D101
再来....希望能选上....先谢谢了

dreamernationUID: 2732007

感谢楼主。。。文章可能很烂 楼主多担待啊。。。
25"Anyonecan make things bigger and more complex. What requires real effort and courageis to move in the opposite direction—in other words, to make things as simpleas possible."

  For the time being, when referring to thequestion what requires real effort and courage in our society, from myprospective, the answer depends on which field we are considering.


  In the field of knowledge, for manyresearches on based on the findings of forefathers, the knowledge is headingfor complexity for sure. Since the world in which we are living is various,complex leads to a deep discovery not only in material stuff but also thespiritual world.  Let’s take a glance atthe books of university students, scientific or philosophy, from differentperiod. We will be amazed at the great changes involved in them. Too many newtheories or thoughtful ideas have been added. Some of them once were thehighest level of their field. But now they are just the basic knowledge thatevery university student should learn. It is the natural period of humanhistory. This is what really calls for effort and courage. Expand their knowledge,widen their sight, and make the essence of wisdom more complex.


  But, as it is easy to see, the daily life of everyoneis actually becoming easier and more convenient. Thanks to the progress oftransport, we can have a meal in London, read anovel under the sunshine of Spanish, and enjoy an opera in Paris in one day. To be in a global village,we make friends all over the world, and contact them online whenever they are.Our life is full of new creatures, and all of them is a symbol of simpler life.We are devoting ourselves in a new world, a world of magic, a world of changing,a world provide tremendous convenience that never has any human lived in. Now,a question that why so many people are such obsessed with the robots is easy toanswer. From my view, it will be the most convenient tool for individual, thusit will present a whole new level of human life. To make things simpler indaily life shares the same importance with the complexity in knowledge.


  To sum up, the world is divided. In one hand,the knowledge system is becoming more and more complex, while, in the otherhand, the life of individual is, in opposite, made much easier. Real effort andcourage are needed in both of the two fields. Any one sided view should beabandoned. Only in this way, can human beings expect a better future.

susan54321UID: 2721607

先谢谢楼主了！


Issue 5
A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer.



The speaker's assertion that the same national curriculum rather than the academic courses decided by different parts of the nation is essential to all the students until they enter college is not without empirical evidences, but I cannot totally agree with such extreme position, because the speaker's viewpoint to national curriculum and academic courses determined by different parts is too bigoted and oversimplified.

To begin with, it seems that the speaker's assertion rests on the assumption that all students can enter college. If this assumption can set up, national curriculum which is much more broad and better balanced, can let students consider fully all subjects and then select objectively their major of college. But actually, no society can guarantee that all students have the opportunity to go to college at present, for the reason that besides some finite educational resources, different students have different interests and talent. For example, some students have strong interest in repairing electrical appliances. Apparently, some courses about technical skills rather than some courses like calculus, organic chemistry which are required courses in national curriculum, seem much more suitable for those students to learn and much more beneficial to their future career. Thus, it is quite necessary to provide various technical skills to students across the nation who are not expecting a higher education.

At the same time, to a certain extent, which academic courses to offer lies in the measure of the progress of economy of the part of a nation. In fact, impoverished living conditions are most likely to restrict educational resources which in no small measure influence national curriculum's accomplishment. Consider in a poverty-stricken area, without funding to set up laboratories, students there cannot do experiments to observe chemical reactions; without funding to furnish students with computers, students, even teachers there cannot master basic skills of using computers, which directly results in many multimedia courses to be canceled. It's obvious that some of national curriculum cannot be carried out in some parts of a nation and it's reasonable for different parts to determine which academic courses to offer in accordance with different educational conditions.

While some of national curriculum might not be received by all students on account of the foregoing reasons, we should not lose sight of the fact that some basic courses such as fundamental knowledge, social skills, moral education should be instilled in every students irrespective of the differences among parts of a nation, in order to satisfy the goals of education, according to the point of Dwight W. Allen, an eminent scholar of Educational Reform, (I paraphrase)"There are two goals of education, one is to make students more intellectual; another is to make each student a moral person.". Therefore, such basic courses should cover a large proportion of national curriculum and there is a compelling argument. National curriculum is more economical than provincial curriculum. It takes a lot of money and time to make an entire course and in this process, many experts related to education are required to participate. In national curriculum, only one making procedure goes through. In addition, when preparing a class of the curriculum, teachers can share ideas each other and get some help from another teacher, which undoubtedly would conduce to students' learning. In contrast, providing that provincial curriculum is made respectively, a large amount of economic losses is produced.

In final analysis, I concede that basic courses of national curriculum are superior to ones of provincial curriculum. However, by virtue of the differences of educational conditions among different parts and of individual interests and talent, not all courses of national curriculum are able to be carried out and to help all students. Hence, it’s sensible for schools to provide basic courses of national curriculum, together with some optional courses on a basis of actualities.

gemqueenUID: 2754049

     TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."
I think it is significant to look back for an understanding of the past. Although so much is new and complex today, there are still many things that can be used no matter how the world changes. It is necessary for us to study from the past and avoid making the same mistakes as before.
     It can not be denied that today many things have changed, some of the experiences we collected before are not usable any more. But it does not mean that we need not to look back for an understanding of the past. The statement is a misunderstanding of the past experiences. Looking back does not easily mean deal with things like the old way. The reason we look back is to know more about life, more about being a person, more about the society and judge whether we did before is right. Things can change, but the principle of handling problems and interpersonal relationship will not change. For instance, do not do the things which you do not like to others will never be outdate however the world change.
     Looking back for an understanding of the past can provides lots of guidance for living in the present. We can save a lot of time and mind by looking back. Always looking forward, we may forget our essential destination, we may easily go forward blindly, and we may ignore the beautiful scenes along our way. Thus, do not forget to think about what you are doing and how to do it with the help of the past experiences when you trying to achieve your goal. What is more, we had better to look back to the past wisely: the part which is outdated, we can throw it away, while we must treat the useful part seriously.
     No one can do everything perfectly, we can always found some guidance for living in the present from the past. Only by doing that can we have a progress as the time gone. Not only ourselves, but also the country and the world. We look back to the past founding that we treat the environment improperly and we have taken so much from them. So we realized that we should do some things for caring about environment and modify ourselves. That is an example that although things are different, if we don not look back, we will make mistakes and have a horrible future which we can not predict.
     To sum up, even though things are new and complex, we should not ignore the significance of studying from the past things. What the past provides us are valuable and can make us more experienced. In brief, using the guidance from the past to solve the things in the present is second to none.
谢谢大家了，写得不好，多包涵一下，我3月23号考，QQ：459723431，欢迎大家多交流

PigwidgeanUID: 2759931

第一篇一休，写了几天啦……TAT。。。
给楼主送人品啦~O(∩_∩)O谢谢

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1060344&extra=

都说了不是又八UID: 2728357

过年几天估计上网比较困难……但是这两天要改的作文已经全都站短并且拷到笔记本里面脱网修改啦

未曾等到的同学请不要心急~各位春节快乐哈。

after17UID: 2681985

谢谢LZ的批改，这是我的一些意见，并且又修改了一下文章