小组作业~Amanda_qinyy暧暧的作文帖

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

2.7 Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fail?

Though everybody desires to be successful, we cannot deny that there are a majority of people who have failed on their way to success uncountable times. As to me, I am not an exception, I am still studying hard to achieve my goals after failing many times. For I do believe that, remaining happy and optimistic when we fail is far more important than success itself.

The positive attitude when we fail plays an important role on the pursuit of success. Near the end of the Second World War, Churchill delivered his distinguish and shortest speech: Never, Never Give Up. It represents a strong and positive life attitude. The British and people in other countries were tremendously encouraged, and finally went through the hardest period in human history. I always say this notable speech to myself when I am down and lose confidence, because the fact that we failed somewhere does not mean we are going to fail everywhere, and especially it does not mean that we are deprived of opportunities to win there. In addition, as the saying goes, failure is the mother of success. Learning from the failure, you will not only find out a right method to success but also obtain a strong belief which will support you forever. So if you are willing to success, why not remain happy and optimistic when you fail?

I admit that success is the life goal for most people, however, it is not what life is all about. Except for success, we have beloved families, nice friends, wonderful life and etc. The love, friendship and happiness are far more important than success. Therefore, we should not merely put all our passion on the pursuit of success. What' more, we are normal individuals, we cannot ensure be succeed in every aspects. In that way, a positive attitude should be held by everyone.

In sum, on our way to success, we should own an upbeat attitude for we are to fail somewhere and still want to move forward for our dreams. So that’s why I consider that remain happy and optimistic is more important.

我超时了，再一次严重超时，警告自己！！！
我觉得我的内容框架有点混乱，越写越不理解这个题目，很混的感觉。请狠批。

slimhUID: 2438517

Though everybody desires to be successful, we cannot deny that there are a majority of people who have failed on their way to success uncountable times. As to me, I am not an exception, I am still studying hard to achieve my goals after failing many times(这个我觉得用一般时态就可以，因为after failing，已经失败的用过去时态吧？）. For(用错啦，是要表达因为得意思么？)I do believe that, remaining happy and optimistic when we fail is far more important than success itself.8 _: (g; y2 (. M0 |

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The positive attitude when we fail to plays(去掉s） an important role on（in） the pursuit of success. Near the end of the Second World War, Churchill delivered his distinguish and shortest speech: Never, Never Give Up. It represents a strong and positive life attitude. The British and people in other countries were tremendously encouraged, and finally went through the hardest period in human history. （不明白丘吉尔是战争结束后对战后重建的人们说的，还是战争中说这个鼓励人们继续战争呢？）I always say this notable speech to myself when I am down and lose confidence, because the fact that we failed somewhere does not mean we are going to fail everywhere, and especially it does not mean that we are deprived of opportunities to win there.（去掉） In addition, as the saying goes, failure is the mother of success. Learning from the failure, you will not only find out a right method to success but also obtain a strong belief which will support you forever. So if you are willing to (succeed）, why not remain happy and optimistic when you fail?（我觉得更详细说明一下，丘吉尔鼓励人们，人们的心态是如何变乐观的会更好的说明主题）

I admit that success is the life goal for most people, however, it is not what life is all about（有2个is). Except for(去掉） success, we have beloved families, nice friends, wonderful life and etc. The love, friendship and happiness are far more important than success. Therefore, we should not merely put all our passion on the pursuit of success. What' more, we are normal individuals, we cannot ensure be succeed（success) in every aspects. In that way, a positive attitude should be held by everyone.( f8 I5 ],

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In sum, on our way to success, we should own an upbeat attitude for we are to fail somewhere and still want to move forward for our dreams. So that’s why I consider that remain happy and optimistic is more important.. K, `9 j) E' ]! D3 W! Z0 J

总结： 感觉楼主硬挤出这几百个字的样子。。丘吉尔的那段论点，感觉只顾着引用名句，没有好好阐述，倒数第二段，你说了除了成功以外，有很多东西比成功重要，但是转折的不是很到位， 我觉得整个构思楼主还是重新构造一下吧。。anyway。。加油！！！

bigmasterUID: 2697733

17# amanda_qinyy

Though everybody desires to be successful, we cannot deny that there are a majority of people who have failed on their way to success uncountable times. As to me, I am not an exception,(and) I am still studying hard to achieve my goals after failing many times. For I do believe that, remaining happy and optimistic when we fail is far more important than success itself(引入自然，开头不错！个人觉得最好不要第二句更好).. A" K7 B, U8 F5()() ?% @

The positive attitude when we fail plays an important role on the pursuit of success. Near the end of the Second World War, Churchill delivered his distinguish and shortest speech: Never, Never Give Up. It represents a strong and positive life attitude. The British and people in other countries were tremendously encouraged, and finally went through the hardest period in human history. I always say this notable speech to myself when I am down and lose confidence, because the fact that we failed somewhere does not mean we are going to fail everywhere, and especially it does not mean that we are deprived of opportunities to win there. （这句很不错，赞！）In addition, as the saying goes, failure is the mother of success.（我在新东方的教材里查的是“Failure teaches success.”当然网上也有你这种表述，仅供参考） Learning from the failure, you will not only find out a right method to success but also obtain a strong belief which will support you forever. So if you are willing to success, why not remain happy and optimistic when you fail?6 y$ U+ F' t3 U( T!

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I admit that success is the life goal for most people, however, it is not what life is all about. Except for success, we have beloved families, nice friends, wonderful life and etc. The love, friendship and happiness are far more important than success. Therefore, we should not merely put all our passion on the pursuit of success. What' more, we are normal individuals, we cannot ensure be succeed in every aspects. In that way, a positive attitude should be held by everyone.

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In sum, on our way to success, we should own an upbeat attitude for we are to fail somewhere（？） and still want to move forward for our dreams. So that’s why I consider that remain happy and optimistic is more important.

总体来说，文章不错，引题自然，论述得力，尤其第二段的分析不错。第三段自己觉得说服力不足，有点虎头蛇尾的感觉，建议结尾处再润色下。

水平有限，仅供参考。
文章中标记出来的，不一定是错的，只是和作者讨论或者是请作者再斟酌一下。

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

2.9 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should not pay to the public transportation


If I am told that I can take every means of transportation by free, I will be in a bliss and cannot believe it is true. Actually, though it is of great benefit for public in general, I still don't support this policy if it really put into practice. I firmly believe that people should pay to the public transportation.

To begin with, the money we paid for the public transportation will benefit ourselves later. Everybody desires to take the brand-new and tidy bus or subway with skillful drivers and warm hearted tickets sellers. However, a large amount of money is needed to pay for the advance facilities and the faculties of the transportation company. Thus, the money we paid for the tickets turns to be better used in these aspects. As passengers, we are benefited not only on the trip we paid but also the next trip we will make.

In addition, every time we spend money, we will consider whether it values. When we are going to somewhere not far from home, take a bus or not? If the bus is free to take, absolutely, we will get on it. But if we have to pay for it, we may choose to walk there. Therefore, we can have a few minutes walking that make ourselves practiced, what's more, we save our money at the same time.

It is terrible to imagine what will happen if people don't pay to the public transportation. With a free ticket, the buses, the subways, the trains and many other means of public transportation will be filled with uncountable passengers. What a crowed and orderless situation it may be! What's worse, all these public transports moving all day long will produce a huge plenty of air pollutions and use up a mass of energy. However, the most important is that our country will have to support all these consumptions which may lead to a bad influence to the development of nation's economy.

To sum up, with the analysis above, I prefer people paying for the public transportation as we used to.

yuminjiaUID: 2659628

20# amanda_qinyy
If I am told that I can take every means of transportation by free, I will be in a bliss and cannot believe it is true. Actually, though it is of great benefit for public in general, I still don't support this policy if it really were put into practice. I firmly believe that people should pay to the public transportation.

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To begin with, the money we paid for the public transportation will benefit ourselves later. Everybody desires to take the brand-new and tidy bus or subway with skillful drivers and warm hearted tickets sellers. However, a large amount of money is needed to pay for the advance facilities and the faculties of the transportation company. Thus, the money we paid for the tickets turns to be better used in these aspects. As passengers, we are benefited not only on the trip we paid but also the next trip we will make.' \# m6 |0 s& U" S0 s" c

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In addition, every time we spend money, we will consider whether it values. When we are going to somewhere not far from home, take a bus or not? If the bus is free to take, absolutely, we will get on it. But if we have to pay for it, we may choose to walk there. Therefore, we can have a few minutes walking that make ourselves practiced, what's more, we save our money at the same time./ r  v: F# |- i(这段
这段到底要说啥呢 是说在付钱的情况下我们选择走路有利于锻炼身体和节约钱吗:但这个并不是不付钱的必要条件啊;这个例子来论述没有必要对交通工具收费有点牵强 因为大多数情况我们是根据实际情况来选择交通工具的 没道理不付钱就搭车 就如你说的 我们想搭车的同时肯定会考虑时间问题哦)

is terrible to imagine what will happen if people don't pay to the public transportation. With a free ticket, the buses, the subways, the trains and many other means of public transportation will be filled with uncountable passengers. What a crowed and orderless situation it may be! What's worse, all these public transports moving all day long will produce a huge plenty of air pollutions and use up a mass of energy. However, the most important is that our country will have to support all these consumptions which may lead to a bad influence to the development of nation's economy.; S9 p3 @. |* n; u$ z

To sum up, with the analysis above, I prefer people paying for the public transportation as we used to.
我觉得LZ除了第3段的论述多余外其他2点都说的很好 而且语言也很好;第2点论述实在多余 去掉就完美了

Amber0926UID: 2555355

If I am told that I can take every means of transportation by free, I will be in a bliss and cannot believe it is true. Actually, though it is of great benefit for public in general, I still don't support this policy这里指代不明，因为前面的内容和这句开头可是隔一个句子哦。。。加，号这里
if it really were put into practice. I firmly believe that people should pay to the public transportation.
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To begin with, the money we paid for the public transportation will benefit ourselves later. Everybody desires to take the brand-new and tidy bus or subway with skillful drivers and warm hearted tickets sellers. However, a large amount of money is needed to pay for the advance facilities and the faculties of the transportation company. Thus, the money we paid for the tickets turns to be better used in these aspects. As passengers, we are benefited not only on the trip we paid but also the next trip we will make.（这段很精彩啊，最后一句用倒装就更漂亮了）

! b: a, o( S9 f* b8 KIn addition, every time（改为when） we spend money, we will consider whether it values用deserves. When we are going to somewhere not far from home, （should we这里少主语）take a bus or not? If the bus is free to take多余, absolutely, we will get on it. But if we have to pay for it, we may choose to walk there. Therefore, we can have a few minutes walking that make ourselves practiced锻炼是吗？practise不对啦，exercise, what's more, we save our money at the same time./这段貌似没想好理由啊，说的有点不着边。。。


it is terrible to imagine what will happen if people don't pay to the public transportation. With a free ticket, the buses, the subways, the trains and many other means of public transportation will be filled with uncountable passengers. What a crowed and orderless situation it may be! What's worse, all these public transports moving all day long will produce a huge plenty of air pollutions（这句话的翻译是生产出大量空气污染。。。produce poisonous air/ make a huge air pollution）

and use up a mass of energy. However, the most important is that our country will have to support all these consumptions which may lead to a bad influence to the development of nation's economy.; S9 p3 @. |* n; u$ z
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To sum up, with the analysis above, I prefer people paying for the public transportation as we used to.
建议楼主的主题句明确一点，断尾最好也紧扣主题，这样写下来就不会跑题啦。第一段写的很好，后面就乱了。其中我看出的问题都指出了，期待共同进步~6 Z  ?' d% t# F$ I1 s) b" jyi

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

2.11 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In 20 years from now on, students will not use printed books anymore.
It is an amazing world that we cannot predict what will happen in the future. With the rapid development in every aspect of our daily life, nothing can be impossible anymore. Thus, I totally believe that in 20 years from now on, students will not use printed books anymore.

To begin with, as we all know, we human beings are facing a terrible and huge crisis which is called the ecological deterioration. The forest is playing an important role in balancing the ecological system. Thus, in the recent years, most of the countries in the world have made policies to forbid the deforesting. However, the huge amount of papers that are needed to print the reading materials are far from abundant that cannot satisfy readers' requirements. In order to less the demand of papers, we student will use e-books instead of printed books from now on, which not only make contribution to the environment but also save plenty of money.

In addition, with the promotion of computers, every family owns a computer at home. Connecting with the Internet, students can take all the courses through the Internet without going to school. The student, especially who live in rural regions where cannot get easy access to the developing society and lack of education resources, will benefit a lot from the e-classroom.

What's more, the e-books are more convenient than printed books. Last term, I started to write my academic paper which means I need to search for a huge amount of information and materials. While, our college library has just built up an e-library, which really did me a favor. I just typed the name of the material and clicked the mouse, and then numerous information came to my eyes. However, if I have to step into the library searching for the books, I am not sure whether I can find my books before the library closed.

With the opinions I analyzed above, I can easy draw a conclusion that students will not use printed books in 20 years from now on.

超时8分钟！！！

tomatooUID: 2754865

It is an amazing world that we cannot predict what will happen in the future. With the rapid development in every aspect of our daily life, nothing can be impossible anymore（不要）. Thus, I totally believe that in 20 years from now on, students will not use printed books anymore.

To begin with, as we all know, we human beings are facing a terrible and huge crisis which is called the ecological deterioration. The forest is playing an important role in balancing（这个分词用得好） the ecological system. Thus, in the recent years, most of the countries in the world have made policies to forbid the deforesting. However, the huge amount of papers that are needed to print the reading materials are far from abundant(形容词引导从句？) that cannot satisfy readers' requirements（far from, can not satisfy这两个词一个意思，要一个就行了）. In order to less（less作动词，好像没见过这么用的，可以用lower，不过你要是见过，麻烦告诉我一下，多谢） the demand of papers, we student will use e-books instead of printed books from now on, which （which最好指代一个名词，指代句子不太好，可以换成其它句型）not only make contribution（学一个词组，呵呵） to the environment but also save plenty of money.

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In addition, with the promotion of（哇，再学一个） computers, every family owns a computer at home. Connecting（有点怪怪的，不如不要） with the Internet, students can take all the courses through the Internet without going to school. The student, especially who live in rural regions where cannot get easy access to the developing society and lack of education resources, will benefit a lot from the e-classroom.（这里有点不好理解，偏远学生不容易接触到，学校居然会有？情况相反吧，就算学生家都有了，学校的设备可能还跟不上呢！） " e% `6 v" M/ K, x& J, B/ R

What's more, the e-books are more convenient than printed books. Last term, I started to write my academic paper which（又是一个这样的which）means I need to search for a huge amount of information and materials. While, our college library has just built up an e-library, which really did me a favor. I just typed the name of the material and clicked the mouse, and then numerous information came to my eyes(这个有点chinglish). However, if I have to step into the library searching for the books, I am not sure whether I can(could I) find my books before the library closed.+ M) {0 R/ A& M

With the opinions I analyzed above, I can easy(easily) draw a conclusion that students will not use printed books in 20 years from now on.

第二个点不开，也不太清楚，不如只写一三，这两个观点
要限时的话，这样有多一点时间组织每个点下面的论证。
超时8分钟，写成这样，非常赞！

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

25# tomatoo

那个第二段的in order to less是我表达错啦，没这个用法，应该是in order to lower
第三段那个观点，你说不太明白，我是想表达：因为农村地区比较偏远落后，孩子们获得不了丰富的书籍，所以，有了网络，就有更丰富的信息资源了，能和城市里的孩子一起享受online course了。。。 不知道这样的观点可以不？

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

25# tomatoo

呃，回复完上面的又查了下。好像也不能说lower，有in order to reduce/ in order to cut dowm这两个说法，这个我确定。

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

24# jbc88

嘿，那个e什么的我又查了下，有e-library这个说法，electronic library或者digital library.
e-classroom也能这么说，但还是online course比较好。:loveliness:

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

2.13 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should focus more on preservation of environment rather than economic development.

People used to care more about the economic development since they believed they could be in a happy and wealthy life with money in hand. In recent years, however, the fragile ecosystem has shocked we human beings seriously. Thus, it is high time that the government focused more on preservation of environment rather than economic development.

To begin with, a better environment is a prerequisite for every aspect in our life, not to mention the economic development. The nature offers massive materials for the industry production and serves us a nice living space and so on so forth. However, the terrible snow disasters in South China in the year of 2008 and the heavy drought in most of China in autumn last year indicated that we have been facing a server ecological deterioration. Undoubtedly, we have made a great success in national economy, but, what we should consider is that whether we sacrificed our environment to gain the progress in economy? We should clearly notice the importance of protecting environment. Therefore, only the government fixes more attention on the preservation of environment can we live better and longer in this planet.

In addition, money is not able to change the terrible environment into a better situation. Some people who have claimed we should make our economy developed first many years ago are now very regret to face the current ecological deterioration. Though they have achieved their desired dreams, they cannot see the blue sky, breath in pure air and drink the clear water any longer. What's worse, plenty of animals have lost their habitats and some of them are becoming extinct. I firmly believe that, if we do not fix our attention to protecting the environment from now on, it will be we human beings that becoming extinct in the world. Thus, it is our ability to protect our environment.

Although the economic development can bring us a seemingly happy life, however, we have to live in this planet generation after generation. Only if the government focus more on the preservation of environment and everybody tries best to put into action can we really enjoy a wonderful life.

这篇作文我写的好痛苦啊，写不出来，写了1个小时啊，严重超时，也还是想不出什么好的例子来，还是借鉴大家的吧！

graceguo98UID: 2499374

请教如何加如该小组？

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

30# graceguo98
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1047996-1-1.html