小组作业~Amanda_qinyy暧暧的作文帖

missyoucrazyUID: 2745188

5.5 终于给你传上来了，word的让我删了，还是用这种形式吧。
09.12.4北美
do you think people should buy things made in their own country, even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else

Nowadays, foreign products are getting closer to our daily life, which has（have）
taken up a large part of the market, competing with the companies in our country. Some people welcome foreign products very much, while others totally opposite on them even the price of products made in our own country is higher. In my perspective, I deem that people should not only buy things made in our own country, for the following reasons.

To begin with, buying things made in our own country will limit the development of the domestic companies in the long run. Usually, the benefit of a company is based on customers' choice. The more the products are sold, the higher the benefit is. As a result, if people buy the foreign products, the domestic companies will lose a considerable market share. The time before 1970s, foreign products were unable to sell in our mainland.（感觉此段让步论证不是很全面，我想加点只买国内产品所带来的一些坏处会更好。） But after the reform and opening-up policy, foreign companies could compete with our domestic companies in our country. From then on, the domestic companies have made great progress in order to survive. The price has become reasonable, the quality has been greater, and the companies themselves have taken on the reform of innovation. Now we can see many domestic companies such as Haier and Lenovo have become stronger and prosperous and they even occupy some of the foreign market. Thus,（此处不是因果关系吧？） if people only buy things made in our own country, we can hardly see the progress of the domestic companies.

In addition, it is a great lose for customers if we only buy things made in our country. Besides the price is higher, we have little choices, and we even lose the chance to enjoy a different attempt. It is hardly to imagine life without hamburgers, pizza, coffee, coca-cola, and the list will go on. Not to mention the electronic product, the cars, the entertainments and so on so forth. However, it does not mean we cannot live without those foreign products. But when the price is lower, the style is more fashionable, and the taste is greater, why don't we buy those foreign products which add color to our life?

To sum up, buying things made in our own country（这种说法不全面） will be harmful to domestic companies and bring a bad effect to customers. Since nobody will benefit from this behavior, we should not buy things made in our own country（结论阐述不全面，造成歧义）.

暖暖，你好：
感谢你对我文章如此细致的修改，我从中获益挺多。你的文章写得很好，我几乎看不出来毛病：观点结构很清晰，有合适的例子，语言上也很好。加油！！

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

5.7
8.8北美

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform

Nowadays, it is a common pattern that people are paid due to their contribution to work. Teachers should not be an exception. Therefore, I firmly agree that teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform, for the following reasons.

To begin with, the performances of students greatly identify the teachers' work, which determine how much should teachers get. Once teachers no matter outstanding or common ones got the same salary, resulting in some diligent teachers were no longer working hard and the students therefore got less knowledge on class. As a result, schools began to change this situation and they found that students' performances were the direct respond to teachers' job. Just like a perfect project is the best certification of a designer. Therefore, teachers are paid according to how well their students perform is fair to every teacher.

In addition, the salary will stimulate teachers' working enthusiasm as well. Since teachers will get a different salary, each of them will work harder to get more. Undoubtedly, students will obtain better care both on class and after class. For example, teachers will improve themselves to be skillful and knowledgeable on teaching, and they will care more about the psychology healthy of students. Therefore, they are not only teachers on class, they will become good friends of students' who share happiness and sorrow with each other. What's more, there will be a fierce competiton among teachers. Professor Li, one of the outstanding teachers in our college, says that he never worked so hard to achieve his value. Because how well the students perform indentify how well he teaches, he wants to spare no efforts to show his great teaching ability. He adds that, the salary seems to be a reward to our work, which, at the same time, invokes our potential zeal on teaching.

To sum up, paying to teachers according to how well their students perform is fair to every teacher, and at the same time, making teachers try their best on work. Therefore, this salary pattern should be widely promoted.

想不出什么好的idea了，写的有点郁闷~
愿意用word修改的下载附件吧，拒绝无颜色区别的修改，谢谢~

5.7 独立作文.doc (21.5 KB, 下载次数: 6)

2010-5-7 21:56:29 上传

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DaisyTwinsUID: 2797670

5.7 by DaisyTwins

canoe03UID: 2786666

不好意思 今天来迟了 有些事情

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

5.9 08.5.9 NA
是应该放更多的钱在access internet 上，而不是public transportation 同意还是不要?

There is no denying that internet is playing an increasing important role in daily life. Some people even claim they cannot live without internet. Therefore, a large amount of people support the government putting more money on accessing internet. In my perspective, however, I totally disagree with this behavior. On the contrary, I think supporting public transportation with more money is necessary, for the following reasons.

To begin with, public transportation, compared with internet, is much more related to the whole society. Without internet, although it will cause some troubles such as online game fans feel bored and online business cannot function well, the world is going on. Admittedly, the population of people who surf the internet everyday ranking nearly 3ooo millions, but it does mean that internet is irreplaceable, since people serve it as a mean of entertainment. While, public transportation is taking on the core function of society. Nobody has ever seen not a single car is driving on the road, but the traffic jam is performed as a common scene every day. Therefore, it is the public transportation that related well to us, which needs more concern from government to get improved.

In addition, usually, a huge amount of money is needed to develop the level of public transportation. As we all know that, the railway, the subway, and the roads in city and other public transportations are not an easy job. Just like Rome was not built in a day. Therefore, besides plenty of money, labor resources and constructional materials are essential, which, are supported by government funds as well. While, with the advanced technology, the development of internet seems to be easier. Thus, more money should spend on public transportation.

What's more, effective public transportation shows the country's power and prosperity to the world. In recent years, China has built up the most challenging railway to Tibet, which shocked the whole world. Besides, many high-speed railways, the speed of which ranking at an amazing 350 km/h, have already made our travel more convenient and relaxed. People in our country are proud of those great and fascinate public transportations, and several countries such as Germany and Russian have showed their willingness to learn from our advanced skills on public transportation.

To sum up, the development of public transportation is beneficial to the whole society, whose importance is not comparable with internet. Therefore, more money should be utilized on it.

怎么办怎么办，作文依旧超时啊！！！！
愿意用word修改的下载附件吧。谢谢~

5.9 独立作文.doc (22 KB, 下载次数: 7)

2010-5-9 14:33:16 上传

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更正一下文中的一个数据，应该是300millions.我给写成30亿了，汗，编都编错了~
谁能告诉我，我国上网的用户有几多啊？！

hzd515976083UID: 2487213

126# amanda_qinyy 5-09-amanda_qinyy(暧暧).doc (27.5 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2010-5-10 10:03:21 上传

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amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

5.10 08.5.16 NA  
是telephone 还是television对人类的有more effects?

There is no doubt that telephone and television are playing an irreplaceable role in our daily life. While, when making a comparison of which brings more effects on human beings, I will support on television, for the following reasons.

To begin with, it is television that helps to broaden our horizons. We obtain international current news from the TV News program, we learn about the fantastic science and nature through science documentary films, and we get to know different cultures and traditions from the foreign films and so on so forth. Most importantly, television can stimulate children's interest in learning. My 7-year-old sister Linda, once watched a dancing show performed by British Royal Ballet on TV, she was greatly inspired and then began to learn Ballet, with fully enthusiasm. However, people sometimes fall to realize they have learned a lot from the TV program, which has brought massive potential benefits to us.

In addition, TV program is recognized as a means of entertainment, which make us relax. It is a common scene that, the first thing people arrive home is to turn on the TV. Either some music or even advertisements will make us feel satisfied. Usually, after a day's hard work, my family will get together to watch some soap operas such as Friends. From the funny plots and the humorous characters, each of us feels comfort and relaxed. Besides, a piece of gossip news about celebrities may be the hot topic that we talk with our friends. Not to mention the NBA games, the MTV programs and FIFA games, which are highly welcomed by youngsters, more and more housewives are crazy about the TV shopping. Therefore, television not only offers us joy and relaxation, but also brings us convenient at the same time.

Admittedly, telephone shortens the distance of human beings and is of great significant in develop the relationship among people. However, with the rapidly blooming technology, the function of telephone is added to television on test now. Thus, we are sure that television will combine both the function of telephone and itself in the future.

To sum up, with the countless advantages of television mentioned above, I firmly believe television brings much more effects on human beings than telephone does.

啊~ 没救了，又超时！！！！
愿意word修改的下载附件吧。谢谢！

5.10 独立作文.doc (22 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2010-5-10 13:01:22 上传

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annkeUID: 2605122

5.9 annke修改

shufescUID: 2616499

0510 shufesc修改
个人观点仅供参考

hzd515976083UID: 2487213

128# amanda_qinyy amanda_qinyy
5.10 08.5.16 NA

是telephone还是television对人类的有moreeffects?
这篇文章很流畅，错误也较少
There is no doubt that telephone and television are playingan irreplaceable role in our daily life. While [However],when making a comparison of which brings more effects on human beings, I willsupport [choose] on television, for thefollowing reasons.
To begin with, it is television that helps to broaden ourhorizons. We obtain international current news from the TV News program, welearn about the fantastic science and nature through science documentary films,and we get to know different cultures and traditions from the foreign films andso on so forth. Most importantly, television can stimulate children's interest inlearning. My 7-year-old sister Linda, once watched a dancing show performed byBritish Royal Ballet on TV, she was greatly inspired and then began to learnBallet, with fully enthusiasm. However, people sometimes fall to realize theyhave learned a lot from the TV program, which has brought massive potentialbenefits to us.
In addition, TV program is recognized as a means ofentertainment, which make [makes] us relax [relaxed]. It is a common scene that, the first thingpeople arrive home is to turn on the TV. Either some music or evenadvertisements will make us feel satisfied. Usually, after a day's hard work,my family will get together to watch some soap operas such as Friends. From thefunny plots and the humorous characters, each of us feels comfort and relaxed.Besides, a piece of gossip news about celebrities may be the hot topic that wetalk with our friends. Not to mention the NBA games, the MTV programs and FIFAgames, which are highly welcomed by youngsters, more and more housewives arecrazy about the TV shopping. Therefore, television not only offers us joy andrelaxation, but also brings us convenient [convenience]at the same time.
Admittedly, telephone shortens the distance of human beingsand is of great significant [significance] indevelop [developing] the relationship amongpeople. However, with the rapidly blooming technology, the function oftelephone is added to television on test now. Thus, we are sure that televisionwill combine both the function [functions] oftelephone and itself in the future.
To sum up, with the countless advantages of televisionmentioned above, I firmly believe television brings much more effects on humanbeings than telephone does.

tsinghua10UID: 2811683

本帖最后由 amanda_qinyy 于 2010-5-10 13:01 编辑- |' H# `1 N" }8 B9 Y; M5.10 08.5.16 NA  是telephone还是television对人类的有more effects?& V9 O" I% A# _

There is no doubt that telephone and television are playing an irreplaceable role in our daily life. While, when making a comparison of which brings---exerts搭配上bring不太多吧 more effects on human beings, I will support on ----删除 television, for the following reasons./ C: K, y; Z9 W: K  ]. ?To begin with, it is television that helps to ---这样表达似乎有点累赘，直接说broaden 就好了broaden our horizons. We obtain international current news from the TV News program, ---不带这样儿的串句哈，要不加分号也行----we learn about the fantastic science and nature through science documentary films----films可以删除,documentary就是纪录片的意思嘛, and we get to know different cultures and traditions from the--删除the--- foreign films and so on so forth. Most importantly, television can stimulate children's interest in learning. My 7-year-old sister Linda, once watched a dancing show performed by British Royal Ballet on TV, she was greatly inspired and then began to learn Ballet, with fully---full enthusiasm. However, people sometimes fall---fail to realize they have learned a lot from the TV program, 记得一个老师说过，经常用非限定性定语从句修饰，会显得句子结构松散滴~ 考虑下哈which which has brought massive potential benefits to us.8 -D1 X$ N+ ?" W3 DIn addition, TV program is recognized as a means of entertainment, which make us relax（又见非限定性定语从句~）. It is a common scene that, the first thing people arrive home---句子结构错了，after arriving home---- is to turn on the TV. Either some music or even advertisements will make us feel satisfied. Usually, after a day's hard work, my family will get together to watch some soap operas such as Friends. From the funny plots and the humorous characters, each of us feels comfort and relaxed. Besides, a piece of gossip news about celebrities may be the hot topic that we talk with our friends.
Not to mention the NBA games, the---删除the ---MTV programs and FIFA games, which are highly welcomed by youngsters, more and more housewives are crazy about the TV shopping.(第三次见非限定性定语从句哈~ 不是说不好，而是用太多了就不好了，适当换个修饰的方法不是更好吗？,这一句housewives好像显得跟前面整体不协调，这一句调整一下吧)I, T5 Therefore, television not only offers us joy and relaxation, but also brings--考虑换个词吧-- us convenient---convenience--- at the same time.* r- ---- X  W$ T7 [$ QAdmittedly, telephone shortens the distance of human beings(--什么意思？Between~ )and is of great significant(--of great significance) in develop(--developing) the relationship among people. However, with the rapidly blooming technology, the function of telephone is added to television on test now. Thus, we are sure that television will combine both the function of telephone and itself in the future." i3 a1 G+ c8 M. [9 F* o% j& Z' l, P5 a, M8 k0 _) wTo sum up, with the countless advantages of television mentioned above, I firmly believe television brings much more effects on human beings than telephone does.

Notes:
没什么大问题，只是语言表达要更准确些。
注意同义词替换
注意不要写串句, i.e. Run-on sentence; 注意句子结构，别犯语法错误
总体很不错，继续加油！

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

5.12 09.1.17 NA
Advertising is the only main cause of the unhealthy eating habits.

Nowadays, people are much vulnerable to diseases such as cold, fever and headache. Most of them blame their weak health to advertising on public media, claiming advertisements mislead them into a unhealthy eating habits. In my perspective, however, I don't believe advertising is the only main cause of the unhealthy eating habits, for the following reasons.

To begin with, advertising plays an important part in introducing new commodities to customers. There is no denying that we get to know newly produced products from advertisements on TV, Internet, newspapers and so on so forth. Besides a few unrealistic advertisements, we do really obtain useful information on public media. However, those seemingly plausible advertisements have already brought potentially adverse effects on a number of customers. For example, the unreal advertisements about nutrient products always insists people can eat their products such as a pill of VC, which is full of abundant nutrient, instead of fresh vegetables and fruits. People who want to lose weight are of course inspired by advertisements, and they just rely on pills but never eat foods again. In fact, they are mislead by advertisements and have formed a bad eating habits. Thus, I admit that advertising may cause unhealthy eating habits, to some extent.

In addition, there are other factors causing unhealthy eating habits. On one hand, the hurried lifestyle is a main cause. As we all know, fast food has been prevalent in recent years. However, people always fail to recognize the potential danger which fast food brings to us. Fast food itself lacks of nutrition, and people eat up them in a few minutes that harms their stomachs. On another hand, due to countless pressure from work and study, it is hard for plenty of youngsters to eat on time. Usually, they have to work till midnight and forget to have supper, so that they will eat before sleep. Set myself as an example, last month before my final exam, I was so crazy on studying that I wake up at 5 o'clock in the morning and went to bed till midnight. I had to drink cups of coffee and always forgot to eat meals; therefore, I should eat cookies or junk food for instead.

To sum up, I admit that advertising is one cause of people's unhealthy habit. However, we should not ignore so many other factors leading to bad eating habits. Therefore, it is superficial to say advertising is the only main cause.

继续超时，无语了~~~ 泪奔~~~
愿意word修改的下载附件吧，谢谢~

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2010-5-12 09:12:29 上传

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violarqUID: 2534729

:)

yixin5690UID: 2790180

133# amanda_qinyy