小组作业~Amanda_qinyy暧暧的作文帖

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

03小组的作文：
2月18号 （08.10.27NA）
Government should pay more attention to health care issues than on environment issues.


Nowadays, people care more about our living qualities. Some people support the government to pay more attention on health care issues believe they will get a great welfare. The others who claim the attention on environment issues should be the proper choice because they regard the perfect environment as the prerequisite of everything. As to me, I would prefer the latter one. Here are my reasons as follow.

Admittedly, everybody will benefit from the developed health care. When we get sick, we can get the advanced treatment with less money. Though someone who insists he won't be sick, nobody can guarantee he won't have any headache in the future. So that the medical insurance for health care shows its great advantages to us, which is one of the government's health care issues.

However, a nice environment may not only benefit people's health in a better way, but also plays an important role in every aspect of our life. Firstly, as we all know, people who live in big cities can no longer see the blue sky, breath in clean air, and drink pure water. If the government pays more attention on the environment, the current situation can be better changed. We dream one day, more and more green plants and lively birds and live around us, and that there will be less pollution both in the air and the river. I believe living in that comfort environment, people will have a nice mood everyday, and the possibilities of getting a cough and cold that caused by the dirty air and abnormal weather will be less and less. What's more, people in north regions can suffer from fewer sandstorms so that they won't be uncomfortable in the open air.

In addition, more attention on environment can bring us potential benefits. Although we may be benefited directly through the health care policy, it only works when we are ill. On the contrary, the notice environment is on a far sight. Recently, preservation of environment has become the hot topic in the whole world, and every country is making its great effort to protect the environment. I think our country should not be an exception, for only do we protect the environment, can we human beings live in this planet generation after generation. What's more, when the environment is better protected, the national economy will be developed at the same time, not to mention the living conditions and health conditions.

To sum up, with the reasons I explained above, I can safely draw a conclusion that the attention on the environment issues is more important than on the health care issues. So I will strongly support the government to care more about our environment.

这篇文章写的好纠结，中午写了一次限时的，结果才写了第二段就写不下去了。无奈，再限时一次，重新写，又如此。晚上还是决定咬牙再写一次，于是又重写，还行，虽然超时14分钟，但还是写出来了。我三次写的第一段都还不同，呃....
至于内容和逻辑方面，请狠拍，请指教！450+字

volksrenUID: 2189399

47# amanda_qinyy
Government should pay more attention to health care issues than on environment issues.
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; L! F0 Q, }0 P1 e% E- DNowadays, people care more about our living qualities. Some people support the government to pay more attention on health care issues believe they will get a great welfare. The others who claim the attention on environment issues should be the proper choice because they regard the perfect environment as the prerequisite of everything. As to me, I would prefer the latter one. Here are my reasons as follow.

Admittedly, everybody will benefit from the developed health care. When we get sick, we can get the advanced treatment with less money. Though someone who insists he won't be sick, nobody can guarantee he won't have any headache in the future. So that the medical insurance for health care shows its great advantages to us, which is one of the government's health care issues.+这个medical insurance 的例子用的很好~~
M#
However, a nice environment may not only benefit people's health in a better way, but also plays an important role in every aspect of our life. Firstly, as we all know, people who live in big cities can no longer see the blue sky, breath in clean air, and drink pure water.这个排比好！ If the government pays more attention on the environment, the current situation can be better changed. We dream one day, more and more green plants and lively birds and（去掉） live around us, and that there will be less pollution both in the air and the river. I believe living in that comfort environment, people will have a nice mood everyday, and the possibilities of getting a cough and cold that caused by the dirty air and abnormal weather will be less and less. What's more, people in north regions can suffer from fewer sandstorms so that they won't be uncomfortable in the open air.
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In addition, more attention on environment can bring us potential benefits. Although we may be benefited directly through the health care policy, it only works when we are ill. On the contrary, the notice environment is on a far sight(far sighted). Recently, preservation of environment has become the hot topic in the whole world, and every country is making its great effort to protect the environment. I think our country should not be an exception, for only do we protect the environment, can we human beings live in this planet generation after generation. What's more, when the environment is better protected, the national economy will be developed at the same time, not to mention the living conditions and health conditions.

我觉得最后这两个例子要是能够展开一点说就好了，比如national economy 为什么会developed. it will attract many businessmen come to investigate the project in our country due to the healthy environment
To sum up, with the reasons I explained above, I can safely draw a conclusion that the attention on the environment issues is more important than on the health care issues. So I will strongly support the government to care more about our environment.
总之，这篇文章写得不错。语言很好。学习了很多词语的用法。蓝色是我觉得写得好的地方。8 l6 e0 B3 `/ Q1 `总

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

03的作文小组作业：

2月19号 （09.01.23）
Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term


Recently, since a group of students are going to graduate from university, should young people try different jobs before they decide which job will they choose in the long term has become a hot topic among them. As to me, I prefer to try different jobs before I making the final decision. My reasons are as follow.

To begin with, a period of time trying different jobs can make us know which job suits us better and what kind of job do we really enjoy in. Sometimes, as new ones of the society without any working and social experience, we often choose the job just by judging the salaries or the welfares the company offers to us. However, after a period time of working there, we may find we cannot adapt to the company's requirement and even we have lost the enthusiasm and energy. What should we do? I don't think still staying in the office is a proper choice, for it not only wastes our time, but also makes no good to the company. While, if we try a new job, everything will change.

Secondly, different jobs can bring us different working experience. For instance,we can know what is the costumers' need by working as a salesman, we can know how to be polite to the customers by working as a waitress, and we can know the job is not as easy as it seemed to be to work as an office lady. Some of my classmates, who have taken several part-time jobs for 2 years, say they would like to taste different jobs and choose one of them as their stable job in future. What's more, plentiful working experience will benefit us in the employment and our future job.

In addition, for we are young, we have enough time to try every new job no matter how many times we fail. My mother, a 45-year-old woman, she doesn't like her job as a bank clerk recently because she has to work over time every night. I suggest her to change another job which is more relaxed, but she refuses. I know she is afraid that she can't find a better job at the age of 45. However, she says, if she was a 25 years now, she would change the present job with no hesitation. Thus, we young people have more opportunities than elderly, though we may fail one time, we can try more immediately.

To sum up, as young people, we have more advantages and opportunities on the job searching, so why don't we try more jobs and gain more experiences before we decide the job which we will do in the long term?

超时10分钟，这个作文好像看起来很好写，但我在构思时没能想到经典点的例子。。。写完再想吧，哎。。。440+
狠拍狠拍吧！！我需要打击，不要客气~~
PS：辛苦改作文的童鞋，麻烦改的时候给点颜色呀！或者word附件也可以！

dairymanUID: 2683905

2月18号 （08.10.27NA居然改错篇，把你今天的拿来改了……好在我发现题目我没见过）+ ?# C- B! H" k8 t
Government should pay more attention to health care issues than on environment issues.. f- N7 Y" P( S% N
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Nowadays, people care more about our living qualities. Some people support the government to pay more attention on health care issues believe（用法必然出错了） they will get a great welfare. The others who claim the attention on environment issues should be the proper choice because they regard the perfect environment as the prerequisite此词你每篇必用 of everything. As to me, I would prefer the latter （删去one）. Here are my reasons as follow句式必然错误了.

Admittedly, everybody will benefit from the developed health care. When we get sick, we can get the advanced treatment with less money. Though someone who insists he won't be sick, nobody can guarantee he won't have any headache in the future. So that the medical insurance for health care shows its great advantages to us, which is one of the government's health care issues.
However, a nice environment may not only benefit people's health in a better way, but also plays an important role in every aspect of our life. Firstly, as we all know, people who live in big cities can no longer see the blue sky, breath in clean air, and drink pure water. If the government pays more attention on the environment, the current situation can be better changed. We dream one day, more and more green plants and lively birds and live around us, and that there will be less pollution both in the air and the river. I believe living in that comfort environment, people will have a nice mood everyday, and the possibilities of getting a cough and cold that caused by the dirty air and abnormal weather will be less and less一个less就行了. What's more, people in north regions can suffer from fewer sandstorms so that they won't be uncomfortable in the open air.
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In addition, more attention on environment can bring us potential benefits. Although we may be benefited directly through the health care policy, it only works when we are ill. On the contrary, the notice environment is on a far sight. Recently, preservation of environment has become the hot topic in the whole world, and every country is making its great effort to protect the environment. I think our country should not be an exception, for only do we protect the environment, can we human beings live in this planet generation after generation. What's more, when the environment is better protected, the national economy will be developed at the same time, not to mention the living conditions and health conditions.6 }- n! h+ O8 p4 _0 s
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To sum up, with the reasons I explained above, I can safely draw a conclusion that the attention on the environment issues is more important than on the health care issues. So I will strongly support the government to care more about our environment.
基本没什么问题，写的比较清楚

happyfaith2008UID: 2709856

2月19号 （09.01.23）
Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term$ F1 v. ?+ H  l9 z

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Recently, since a group of students are going to graduate from university, should young people try different jobs before they decide which job will they choose in the long term has become a hot topic among them.（这一句语法有问题，找不到主语。你貌似想写成疑问句，最后是陈述句。） As to me, I prefer to try different jobs before I making（before可以直接引导时间状语从句，直接用make就可以。） the final decision（这个地方有点费解，什么decision?）. My reasons are as follow.（这一句话我曾经用完后，遭到了别人的鄙视，呵呵，凑字之嫌，而且凑的不高明~~~）

To begin with, a period of time   trying different jobs （这是两个并列的名词性短语，这样会找不到主语的，可以说trying different jobs for a period of time.不过这样说话还是显得有点罗嗦。）can make us know which job suits us better and what kind of job do （去掉，因为是从句部分，直接按正常语序，不用助动词提前）we really enjoy in. Sometimes, as new ones of the society without any working（一般说work experience） and social experience, we often choose the job just by judging the salaries or the welfares the company offers to us.（这话说的有点罗嗦，而且觉得这话说得怪怪的：有时候，作为一个没有工作经验和社会经验的新手，我们经常根据公司给我们提供的薪水和福利选择工作) However, after a period time of working there, we may find （这里that最好别省了。）we cannot adapt to the company's requirement（why?工作一段时间后就不适应要求了？） and even we have lost the enthusiasm and energy（even....语句缺少逻辑，或者说是思维有些跳跃。你可以试着翻译成汉语看看。这样就能知道有没有问题。）. What should we do? I don't think still staying in the office（这里你指的是继续从事这份工作吧？你没有特殊指明就不能用staying in the office 表示） is a proper choice, for it not only wastes our time, but also makes no good to（看来暧暧和我一样词汇比较匮乏，以后咱们一起多积累高级词汇吧~~） the company. While, if we try a new job, everything will change.5 w9 G" y' ~9 \- X6 p; f
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Secondly, different jobs can bring us different working experience. For instance,we can know what is the costumers' need by working as a salesman, we can know how to be polite to the customers by working as a waitress, and we can know the job is not as easy as it seemed to be to work as an office lady. Some of my classmates, who have taken several part-time jobs for 2 years, say they would like to taste different jobs and choose one of them as their stable job in future. What's more, plentiful working experience will benefit us in the employment and our future job.(光有细节没有说理也不太好。多加点论证，这样才能把细节和分论点结合起来，把分论点和主题结合起来。)（另外我觉得这一段不适合论证为什么换工作能有经验，最好论证为换工作得来的经验对我们有啥子好处。）


In addition, for we are young, we have enough time to try every new job no matter how many times we fail. My mother, a 45-year-old woman, she doesn't like her job as a bank clerk recently because she has to work over time every night. I suggest her to change another job which is more relaxed, but she refuses. I know she is afraid that she can't find a better job at the age of 45. However, she says, if she was a 25 years now, she would change the present job with no hesitation. Thus, we young people have more opportunities than elderly, though we may fail one time, we can try more immediately。（说实话，我觉得我们有足够的时间换工作不能成为我们要换不同的工作的理由。这样说不通。你可以转换一个角度。可以说，我们现在乘着年轻换工作付出的代价少获得好处多，利大于弊。到老了就没有机会了。）（可能我的思维有点写issue的感觉，我也不知道为什么会有这样的思维，我还没有准备GMAT的作文呢！可能对于托福暧暧这样就足够了吧。我就有个毛病，想得多，所以就写得慢~~~~呜呜~~~~）

To sum up, as young people, we have more advantages and opportunities on the job searching, so why don't we try more jobs and gain more experiences before we decide the job which we will do in the long term?

总述：暧暧多多注意语法，能避免的错误少犯。到考场就是谁也顾不上谁了，所以平时多练~~~
细节尽量结合分论点说，分论点要紧密扣住主题，而且千万别绕。这是别人给我的忠告，希望对你也有用。这样的思维应该是托福高分的思维吧~~~

让我来做海盗UID: 2762535

Youngpeople should try different job before they decide which job or career theywill do in the long term. n7 p; l2 ^+ ^
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2 m  v" m0 I6 t/ J* H$ yRecently, since a group of students are going to graduatefrom university（我印象里since更愿意接完成时把。但那个这个对不对，我也拿不准）, should young people trydifferent jobs before they decide which job will they choose in the long termhas become a hot topic among them. As to me, I prefer to try different jobsbefore I making the final decision. （我建议前面加一下 the issue 要不然感觉头重脚轻，而且，如果不加的话，那WHICH 修饰的就是一句话，那也不行。）My reasons are as follow.（- - 这句话可以，但是我觉得这么亲切。
恩，口语。）
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( \; R3 ^& C7 F0 v& ]4 VTo begin with, a period of time trying different jobs canmake us know which job suits（fits?） us better and what kind of jobdo we really enjoy in. Sometimes, as new ones（ones 是特指，指什么？） of the society without anyworking and social experience, we often choose the job just by judging thesalaries or the welfares the company offers to us. However, after a period timeof working there, we may find we cannot adapt to the company's requirement andeven we have lost the enthusiasm and energy. What should we do? I don't thinkstill staying in the office is a proper choice, for it not only wastes our time, but also makes no good tothe company. While, if we try a new job, everything will change. P+ c6 V! \9 {- `6 A& M
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Secondly, different jobs can bring us differentworking experience.(恩这个观点好，我没有想到) For instance, we can know what is thecostumers' need by working as a salesman, （一句话里连词呢？）we can know how to be polite to thecustomers by working as a waitress, and we can know the job is not as easy asit seemed to be to work as anoffice lady.（as anoffice lady?） Some of my classmates, whohave taken several part-time jobs for 2 years, say(这句话，say 是 for example的意思么？) they would like to taste（可以这样用么？ Challenge? 您想表达尝试的意思么？） different jobs and choose oneof them as their stable（这个词也好，但是为了更切题，是
长期
而并非问不稳定的问题） job in future. What's more, plentifulworking experience will benefit us in the employment and our future job.. c2 K5 P2 P# D' E
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In addition, for we are young, we have enough time totry every new job no matter how many times we fail. My mother, a 45-year-oldwoman, she doesn't like her job as a bank clerk recently because she has towork over time every night. I suggest her to change another job which is morerelaxed, but she refuses. I know she is afraid that she can't find a better jobat the age of 45.
However, she says, if she was a25 years now, she would change the present job with no hesitation.
（恩从反面说，好有说服力，赞！！！）Thus, we young people （可以用同位语，貌似可以加分？we, the young,）have more opportunities than elderly(the old)---这样是因为，符合ETS一坨屎说的
比较级两端
平行对称，---这应该是新的一句话。

应该用句号。注意细节。
（T）
though we may fail onetime, we can try more immediately.7 ?. {: y* ?) _8 I$ g
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To sum up, as young people, we have more advantagesand opportunities on the job searching, so why don't we try more jobs and gainmore experiences before we decide the job which we will do in the long term?

恩，建议，写作文的时候，写每一个句子的时候的时候，都时刻提醒自己，自己写的句子
有几个主谓宾，到底应该有几个主谓宾。这样
久而久之，
写
长难句子
也就熟悉了。
而且，阅读也就能分析清楚了。

另外，例子很好啊。
我就想不到。
在这里自责一下。
但是，
要
夸大词汇量，做到精确表达！
这样，你的作文
会
很快
上升一个层次！

海盗给你加水，你自己给你加油哈！！！！

让我来做海盗UID: 2762535

为啥有是没有颜色呢？？

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

2.20
Do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country.

When talks about the development of our country, people's opinions various. Some of them may support the country invest more money on the national economy, while others believe the government should pay more attention on the environment. However, I will point out that our country should fix on the education of the next generation. Thus, I strongly agree with the statement that improving schools is the most efficient factor in successful development of our country.

To begin with, improving the standers of school will not only benefit we students but also our whole country. If the government cares more about the development of the school, more and more teachers will have the chance to get advanced training on teaching methods, and the school facilities such as the library, laboratory, sports stadium will be better renewed. That means, we, the students, will get advanced knowledge from the skillful teachers and practice ourselves with plentiful resources. And then, we will be able to take on the responsibility of constructing our country.

In addition, the improvement on schools can guarantee our country flourishing in a long term. Though the government regards the development of economy as the center of a whole may gain the profits directly, it is only the short-term benefit. However, the development of education should be the far-sighted choice. Better schools will contribute to best education, which can ensure the youngsters will be full of knowledge and talents. As we all know, Japan, the strongest country once in 1980s, started to concentrate on the education after the World War II and achieved a great success at that time period. This real example emphasizes on the development of schools which we should consider seriously. Thus, with the major constructors growing up generation after generation, I am sure that our country will prosper forever.

To sum up, the concentration on school development will bring an uncountable possession to our country though it cannot show its benefits to us immediately. Nevertheless, we should consider the development of a country in a long run and put the improvement of school in the first place.

我，严重严重超时，几乎写了1小时。。。词汇贫乏，语言粗糙，边写边琢磨，结果就卡住了，时间哗哗的流啊。。。
尽情的打击我吧，不要客气，谢谢！

dairymanUID: 2683905

2.200 M* w  ?, g' b9 i5 j
Do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country., v8 j8 h* D& G$ |- N0 S
我，严重严重超时，几乎写了1小时。。。词汇贫乏，语言粗糙，边写边琢磨，结果就卡住了，时间哗哗的流啊。。。
尽情的打击我吧，不要客气，谢谢！ 人人都说尽情打击我吧，那我就使劲打击"
When talks about the development of our country, people's opinions various此主句无动词. Some of them may support the country to invest more money on the national economy, while others believe the government should pay more attention on the environment. However, I will point out that our country should fix on the education of the next generation这是不明智的说法，题目只讨论improve school，扯到教育上不需要再强调是教育下一代，成人教育也有学校啊，自己把范围限定小了，容易说不好. Thus, I strongly agree with the statement that improving schools is the most efficient大家都加important，楼主加efficient？efficient这个词不好写啊 factor in successful development of our country.

To begin with, improving the standards of school will not only benefit we students but also our whole country. If the government cares more about the development of the school, more and more teachers will have the chance to get advanced training on teaching methods, and the school facilities such as the library, laboratory, sports stadium will be better renewed. That means, we, the students, will get advanced knowledge from the skillful teachers and practice ourselves with plentiful resources. And then, we will be able to take on the responsibility of constructing our country.这句就开始跳了，受的教育好就能建设好国家了？多说一句，受了良好的教育，更有利于培养我们的能力，有了能力才可以成功地建设我们的国家，从而让祖国successfully develop

In addition, the improvement on schools can guarantee our country flourishing in the long term. Though the government regards the development of economy as the center of a whole may gain the profits directly, it is only the short-term benefit我擦，这结论怎么得出来的，发展经济才是关系国计民生的大事，到处引进外资那才是短期利益. However, the development of education should be the far-sighted choice. Better schools will contribute to best education, which can ensure the youngsters will be full of knowledge and talents. As we all know, Japan, the strongest country once in 1980s, started to concentrate on the education 据我所知人家一向注意教育，二战后特别注重经济和军事……
after the World War II and achieved a great success at that time period. This real example emphasizes on the development of schools which we should consider seriously. Thus, with the major constructors growing up generation after generation, I am sure that our country will prosper forever说理性实在不强，不能让人信服这不行啊. w+ G. u$ F9 P) h6 N' M! X
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To sum up, the concentration on school development will bring an uncountable possession to our country though it cannot show its benefits to us immediately这一点前面没有论证啊，结论应该是被论证过的. Nevertheless, we should consider the development of a country in a long run and put the improvement of school in the first place.4 Z  a. j1 N7 D( ?; X1 _7 ?* N
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我发现批评人很容易，但是把批评人的地方拿到自己身上，就发现自己也应该挨批。无论如何，还是和爱爱抱抱，不要难过，好好准备

clisalongUID: 2715802

When talks about the development of our country, people's opinions various (主语逻辑有问题，people's opinions,talks 主语不同时候不可以省略的）Some of them may support the country invest more money on the national economy（搭配问题：invest in）, while others believe the government should pay more attention on the environment. However, I will point out that our country should fix on the education of the next generation. Thus, I strongly agree with the statement that improving schools is the most efficient factor in successful development of our country.



To begin with, improving the standers of school will not only benefit we students (we stuedents?!这表达很中文) but also our whole country. If the government cares more about the development of the school, more and more teachers will have the chance to get advanced training on teaching methods, and the school facilities such as the library, laboratory, sports stadium will be better renewed. That means, we, the students （看出来，整篇文章你有点中文翻译的感觉）, will get advanced knowledge from the skillful teachers and practice ourselves with plentiful resources. And then, we will be able to take on the responsibility of constructing our country.



In addition, the improvement on schools can guarantee our country flourishing in a long term. Though the government regards the development of economy as the center of a whole may gain the profits directly, it is only the short-term benefit. However, the development of education should be the far-sighted choice. Better schools will contribute to best education, which can ensure the youngsters will be full of knowledge and talents. As we all know, Japan, the strongest country once in 1980s, started to concentrate on the education after the World War II and achieved a great success at that time period.（这个例子表达挺好。） This real example emphasizes on the development of schools which we should consider seriously. Thus, with the major constructors growing up generation after generation, I am sure that our country will prosper forever.. M7 I! l9 m% c$ T; W; _3 A+ l
2 e" h* k  y9 F4 c5 F& E" u9 a
To sum up, the concentration on school development will bring an uncountable possession to our country though it cannot show its benefits to us immediately. Nevertheless, we should consider the development of a country in a long run and put the improvement of school in the first place.

总结：文章的表达还行，主题句明确，可是有部分的表达过硬，而且有点中式英文的感觉，希望以后注意。

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

2月25号 （07.10.20）
Some people think one's working is more important than being with one's family.


Suppose that, families getting together everyday: we laying on the sofa with a cup of tea or sitting on the grass in the garden enjoying the beautiful sunshine. How wonderful and relaxed it is! But, it is only a daydreaming. Though staying with family is quite an enjoyable thing, we should care more about our work so that we can support our family with our hands and make families live a happier life. Thus I hold an opinion that one's working is more important than staying with family.

To begin with, working is an access to achieve our personal value. Before we growing into adults, it is reasonable to live with family because we cannot earn money to support ourselves. However, when we grow up, we should concentrate on the work not only for its salaries but also we hope to achieve our careers that identify our abilities to the family. How proud my parents will be when I sent the news to them that their daughter will be the manager of the whole company! Of course, it is no happier they will feel than I just stay with them and tell them a funny joke. Thus, the success of our career not only benefits us but also will bring a sense of honor to our family.

Secondly, working makes it possible that we can support our family living in a happier life. When we stay with family, we wish to share the happiness and sorrow with them. Moreover, the most important is that we do hope to develop the living standers of the family by our own hands. Nowadays, many youngsters are afraid of going home even in the Spring Festival, which is the traditional festival in China and families should get together on that day. We may guess the youngsters probably want to live alone with more freedom. According to a recent survey, it shows that the majority of youngsters that don't go home for Spring Festival is mainly because they have not got any success in career that they feel shame to go back home. With an amount of money and a great fame in career, nobody would refuse to stay with family enjoying the most favorable love. Thus, only do we working hard till we can support ourselves and the whole family can we be able to stay all day long with families.

Admittedly, our home is a paradise for us and everyone will cherish the time staying with family. However, we, the adults, who should take on the responsibility to support the whole family, have to spare no efforts to achieve our career goals. So, it is more important for us to focus on the work than stay with family. Meanwhile, we should believe that, the whole family will live a happier life when we achieve our career.

好几天没写作文了，今天终于完成了一篇。
这篇作文超时<5分钟。但，是第二次写。第一次写，写完第二段发现跑题了，于是重新写的。没换开头，第二段完全换了。所以，基本算下来是超时10分钟吧。
我什么时候才可以限时成功啊？！

有word附件，改来方便。
2.25 独立作文 暧暧.doc (22 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2010-2-25 18:35:50 上传

下载次数: 4

arlenezxyUID: 2487145

都在附件中了

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

都在附件中了
arlenezxy 发表于 2010-2-26 12:56

谢谢你修改，我至今还搞不懂这个修改的格式是怎么弄的，好专业啊嘿嘿。。。

至于我的文章，其实我第一遍写的时候跑题了又重新计时写第二遍的，然后开头没换。。。

其实我也很纠结文章字数和长难句问题，我语法比较烂，基本不敢写难句，一写就错，简单句子保证不错就行了。。。字数上，我觉得只要思路比较清晰，能想个好例子的话，就比较容易写出多字数。。。有没有发现，一般叙述性的例子很容易占字数的。。。

呃，其实我作文也比较菜，之前被打击了一次，然后硬是3天不敢写了，谢谢你给了我些许的自信~ 嘿嘿，继续努力！

love_angellUID: 2754679

批改by angell
附件啦~~

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

2月28号
（09.3.7）
It better to use own knowledge and experience to solve question, or ask other people for advice.

Nowadays, youngsters are asked to be independent in every aspect of life. There is no denying that being independent will truly enrich our life experience and help to make us being more mature. In fact, however, even the so-called expert is only expertise in only a few areas, and nobody can perfectly solve all the problems himself. Thus, when are in trouble, an advice from experienced person seems to be extremely helpful to us.

To begin with, our knowledge and time are so limited that we cannot put every step into practice till success. When we buy a new electric machine such an advanced washing machine or a new type cell phone, we may get a list of advices from the box inside. The advices tell us how to correctly operate and what should not do with the machine. Will you ignore these professional advices and try the new machine with your own attempt? Absolutely not, you will follow them step after step, and when you still have somewhere unclear to read or operate, you might turn to the salesman for help. That is to say, everybody would like to listen to other's advice for it is really helpful and essential.

In addition, we may get to know all sorts of skills and tips from other people's advices which are benefit to us. The person who we turned to for help must be an expert in some aspects and can offer us valuable experiences. For instance, I always ask my grandfather how to make a delicious dish, and when I cannot better operate my car I will turn to my father who is a 15-year-old skilful driver for advice. And the most essential thing is asking my mother how to take care of a baby when I become a mother in the coming years. Wow, there is quite a plenty of useful and important advices we can get from other people. Nevertheless, it is hard to imagine what a long time it will be for us to summarize all the valuable experiences by ourselves.

Admittedly, the experience from our practice seems more important and meaningful. However, listen to other's advice doesn't mean we don't try out the tasks by our own hands. The advice is an easy access to success that will be a great help for us. So, I strongly believe that it is better to ask for other's advice when we need help.

超时10分钟，我每次都超时，什么时候能不超时啊！！！

2.28 独立作文 暧暧.doc (22 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2010-2-28 12:53:48 上传

下载次数: 5