小组作业~Amanda_qinyy暧暧的作文帖

yuminjiaUID: 2659628

29# amanda_qinyy

2.13 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should focus more on preservation of environment rather than economic development.6 z7 N% K/ y+ f. c2 y People used to care more about the economic development since they believed they could be in a happy and wealthy life with money in hand.(这句话是不是太中译英了?) In recent years, however, the fragile ecosystem has shocked we human beings seriously. Thus, it is high time that the government focused more on preservation of environment rather than economic development.(这个句子是啥结构?我没太读明白 如果是it　作为形式主语的话有没有这个词组啊？it　is　high　time　that．．．／如果是强调句的话　强调句子的状语　也不太对．） r$ a' R9 C) K To begin with, a better environment is a prerequisite for every aspect in our life, not to mention the economic development.（not　to　mention　是递进结构　并不是否定掉the economic development） The nature offers massive materials for the industry production and serves us a nice living space and so on so forth. for　example，However, the terrible snow disasters in South China in the year of 2008 and the heavy drought in most of China in autumn last year indicated that we haved been facing a servere ecological deterioration. Undoubtedly, we have made a great success in national economy. but, what we should consider is that whether we sacrificed our environment to gain the progress in economy? We should clearly notice the importance of protecting environment. Therefore, only does　the government fixes more attention on the preservation of environment can we live better and longer in this planet（代替earth　好）（这个是only放在句首的部分倒装句，你米有倒装啊）.) \& N! p5 {& ?* g* m& E' m' O In addition, money is not able to change the terrible environment into a better situation. Some people， who have claimed we should make our economy developed first many years ago，（改成非限制性定从看起来清楚点） are now very regret to face the current ecological deterioration. Though they have achieved their desired dreams, they cannot see the blue sky, breath in pure air and drink the clear water any longer. What's worse, plenty of animals have lost their habitats and some of them are becoming extinct. I firmly believe that, if we do not fix our attention to protecting the environment from now on, it will be we human beings that becoming extinct in the world. Thus, it is our ability to protect our environment.* [! E" x" f/ a1 L, c1 t4 _, N8 d& C  q- R! v Although the economic development can bring us a seemingly happy life, however, we have to live in this planet generation after generation. Only if the government focus more on the preservation of environment and everybody tries best to put into action can we really enjoy a wonderful life.) 总体来说写的不错；但是要注意下一些词组和句子的用法 你的结尾段写的不错　学走了

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

有几点你的改动：
1. it is high time sb. v-ed sth. 是固定句型啊
2. 第二段句首，not to mention并不是否定啊，我后文也有说environment对industry的作用啊
3. 第二段最后一句，only..can we... 那该怎么倒装啊，我也想用倒装句的，但老用不好
4. 第三段句首，非限制性定语从句怎么写？我语法太烂了，这些分不大清。。。麻烦你帮我改下吧！！

欢迎一只猫童鞋和我讨论讨论，因为小组就俩人，得一起讨论下才能敲定修改意见。waiting for you!

yuminjiaUID: 2659628

33# amanda_qinyy
有几点你的改动：7 V) J* {2 S' F
1. it is high time sb. v-ed sth. 是固定句型啊 ni k你肯定有这个句型就好了拉 我之前没有见过以为是自创的呢:sorry
2. 第二段句首，not to mention并不是否定啊，我后文也有说environment对industry的作用啊
我仔细读了下 是我理解错了 你要表达的意思是:XX也是经济发展的前提;SORRY

3. 第二段最后一句，only..can we... 那该怎么倒装啊，我也想用倒装句的，但老用不好 (部分倒装就是把强调词放在句首(only),然后接谓语助动词 再加句子就好了 注意下句子里面的谓动词要变成原形)eg. only does　the government fix more attention on the preservation of environment can we live better and longer in this planet.
第三段句首，非限制性定语从句怎么写？我语法太烂了，这些分不大清。。。麻烦你帮我改下吧！！非限制性定从就是 先行词和关系代词之间用逗号 隔开;因为我觉得你这个句子太长了 改成非限制性定从 比较好读.Some people， who have claimed we should make our economy developed first many years ago， are now very regret to face the current ecological deterioration.
否则看了半天才找到中心谓语动词are有点费力啊
还有个用法我才看到 regret to do..遗憾做sth;//regret doing..后悔做某事情;我觉得从逻辑上用在这里都不太贴切;
啥叫我们现在非常遗憾要面对目前生态破坏的问题?

欢迎接着讨论:)

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

34# yuminjia

灰常感谢一只猫童鞋指点我的语法问题，太谢谢啦
那个regret to用的是不大合适，想了半天也没想出来比较好点的词，能说are feeling sorry to face....不呢？就是表达对现状的一种惋惜吧？！不知道了。。。呃。。。

yuminjiaUID: 2659628

35# amanda_qinyy
感觉这么说写不太地道; 请教下高人吧

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

2.15 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.

If I have a chance to visit a foreign country, I will definitely not step into the museum to get a closer look to the country. Though we can learn about the history and the development of a country, I don't believe it is the best way.

To begin with, the exhibitions of the country in museum are limited. As we all know, the exhibitions are mainly about the history, the achievement and the important issues of a country. Thus they are the past of the country, and they cannot exhibit the current situation to the visitors. For instance, if a foreign friend comes to visit you, whether will you lead him to know the past 5000 years’ history or show him the prosperous development of China to make him better know our country? Undoubtedly, we will choose the latter one. China is developing in an incredible rapid speed, so that the exhibitions in museum cannot catch up with the amazing speed to better show China to foreigners. Hence, I firmly believe the outsights in current situations are the best to way to learn a country.

Secondly, the exhibitions in the museum are made from an official sight so that they are probably limited to display the whole country. Most of the events showed in the museum are about the positive and good site of a country, such as the great achievements, the happy life of people, the advanced technology and etc.If we only visit the museum, however, we may ignore the negative events like the boycott, the disasters some people are suffered from, the decrease of economy sometimes and so on so forth, which can show another site of the country. Therefore, I think talking with the native people or going into every aspect of people's life are better choices to know about a country.

What's more, we cannot guarantee every city has a museum for visitors. Nevertheless, although there are museums available, we still cannot guarantee the museums are built in large size like the National Museum in Beijing that can give you a all-round sight to know the country. The museums in small cities mainly show the events of the city but not the whole country.

To sum up, with the disadvantages I talked above, I still insist that visiting museum is not the best way to learn a country.

以前写过这个题目，不过也是好几个月前了，在没翻出原文的情况下（且那篇没认真修改总结），超时16分钟完成，呃。。。崩溃了

slimhUID: 2438517

If I have a chance to visit a foreign country, I will definitely not step into the museum to get a closer look to the country.(如果后面相加country的话，建议在前面修饰一下是国家主题博物馆，因为现在各种类型主体的博物馆太多拉） Though we can learn about the history and the development of a country, I don't believe it is the best way（怎么说呢，个人认为在点题的时候用support等词看起来更客观一些）. & w* W1 I, R# Q3 T& @: V4 b

To begin with, the exhibitions of the(a) country in museums are limited（limited 在什么地方？建议后面解释一下limited to show整个国家的历史也好国家的整个面貌也好）. As we all know, the exhibitions are mainly about the history, the achievement and the important issues of a country. Thus they are the past of the country, and they cannot exhibit the current situation to the visitors. For instance, if a foreign friend comes to visit you, whether will you lead him to know the past 5000 years’ history or show him the prosperous development of China to make him better know our country?Undoubtedly, we will choose the latter one. China is developing in an incredible rapid speed, so that the exhibitions in museums cannot catch up with the  amazing speed to better show China to foreigners. Hence, I firmly believe the outsights in current situations are the best to way to learn a country.  A" p  R- @- l' Z" |$ W# B9 B

Secondly, the exhibitions in the museums are made from an official sight so that they are probably limited to display the whole country. Most of the events showed in the museums are about the positive and good site(side) of a country, such as the great achievements, the happy life of people, the advanced technology and etc.If we only visit the museums, however, we may ignore the negative events like the boycott, the disasters some people are suffered from, the decrease of economy sometimes and so on so forth, which can show another site of the country. Therefore, I think talking with the native people or going into every aspect of people's life are better choices to know about a country.

W# j* b4 _1 O; T  f) ^
What's more, we cannot guarantee every city has a museum for visitors. Nevertheless, although there are museums available, we still cannot guarantee the museums are built in large size like the National Museum in Beijing that can give you a all-round sight to know about the country. The museums in small cities mainly show the events of the city but not the whole country." `, L: A6 G4 H3 r9 a% E

To sum up, with the disadvantages I talked above, I still insist that visiting museum is not the best way to learn a country

总结：第一句陈述观点的时候最后一句希望更丰盛一些，第一个论点举例部分上，你选择了更倾向于给老外看现在的发展而不是5000年的历史.我个人认为二选一还不如说上面你也提到过历史是part of the country，所以两个都要看，如果只选最近的发展给老外看也只能片面的了解最近的发展呀。

第二句论点，我觉得很好，就是boycott，跟disaster来的突然，不知道为什么这个就是国家的negative 的面，希望阐述一下对什么的boycott或者具体什么灾难是对人们产生了suffer的东西。

第三段，第四短ok,还有一个，字数够了没？因为最后一句太短了，感觉字数不够呀。 anyway ， Add Oil!!/ V. j  _) G;

总结：

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

38# slimh

嗯，谢谢slimh对内容方面的指点，我灰常赞同，的确有些毛病，值得我好好斟酌改正！！
ps:字数够啊，360多了吧貌似. 开头和结尾是我这篇文章的伤心处，我想了挺久也不知道怎么写，不过后来翻回我以前的那篇，就有得添加了！
many thanks!

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

2月16日，03的作文小组作业：
08.08.08NA:
University students should be required to take basic science classes even if they are not part of the field of the study.

As a college student studying in law, I often feel bored that I have to take all the course everyday merely about law. Though choose more other subjects as elective course may be a burden for us, I strongly eager to take other courses which can bring me into a different world of knowledge. Thus, I support the statement that university students should be required to take basic science class even if they are not major in it.

To begin with, basic science knowledge is a prerequisite for all-around development of everybody, not to mention university students. The most important is that basic science is very useful in our daily life. For instance, my friend Tom has learnt in science class that people should not touch the person that was injured by electricity unless cutting down the origin of electricity. Without this science knowledge, not only my neighbor but also my friend Tom who offered help to save him would have been killed together. Therefore, the basic science knowledge plays an important role in our daily life, so that everybody should possess the knowledge.

Secondly, taking basic science course will broaden our horizons as well. Usually, people regard university students as professors in every aspect. Last summer, a fresh rainbow came out after a heavy rain, then my 6-year-old sister asked me, "dear sister, can you tell me where rainbow comes from?". Wow, I hesitated for quite a long while, and still I could not answer her. To her surprise and despair, her sister that studying in university was unable to answer her question. So, personally I think we should make ourselves developed by studying the basic science course.

Last but not least, the basic science course won't make any adverse effect on our major course. First, it is not hard for us to learn because it only tells the basic knowledge. Second, the course may not occupy most of our time so that we don't need to worry about it is to bring a heavy load to us. In addition, taking the science course can serve as a relaxation course for it is leading our brains to a totally different world.

In a nutshell, I believe taking basic science course will bring us amount of advantages so that we have no excuses to avoid it. Therefore, why not we university student attend in a basic science class?

我超时了将近15分钟，如果紧扣时间的话，估计第三个观点就没时间写了...
PS: 写完这篇才看到03的新规则，没法交上30分钟内的作文了，估计就是没第三个观点及第二观点草草收尾吧...呃，下次一定交上30分钟内不堪入目的文章，自己恶心自己多了，才会进步！！！
我是用模考软件写的，写完都是习惯性的帖到word里改写错的单词，所以以上版本是改后的了。
下次我再另弄一篇明显原版和改后对比版吧。

让我来做海盗UID: 2762535

As a college student studying in law, I often feel bored that I have to take all the course everyday merely about law. Though choose more other subjects as elective course may be a burden for us, I + am strongly（eager 是ADJ ） eager to take other courses which can bring me into a different world of knowledge.(这个句子里说的尽管和但是 尽管要上选课是负担，但是上其他的课。。-我的意思是说，有歧义，我个人见解) Thus, I support the statement that university students should be required to take basic science class even if they are not major in it.

To begin with, basic science knowledge is a prerequisite for all-around development of everybody, not to mention university students.（求赐教，什么意思。） The most important is that basic science is very useful in our daily life. （和上一句 相比，那个是 本段主题句啊？ 如果是第一句是，那第2句，与第一句有什么逻辑关系啊？ 起到了扩展，过度还是转折啊？）For instance, my friend Tom has learnt in science class that people should not touch the person that was injured by electricity unless cutting down the origin of electricity. Without this science knowledge, not only my neighbor but also my friend Tom who offered help to save him would have been killed together. Therefore, the basic science knowledge plays an important role in our daily life, so that everybody should possess（attain require 或许会更常用一点 与 指使搭配） the knowledge.  （本段 显然， 作者没有 想清楚， 您的第一句话，与本段无关。）

Secondly, taking basic science course will broaden（expend or widen 貌似更常用吧？） our horizons as well. Usually, people regard university students as professors in every aspect. Last summer, a fresh rainbow came out after a heavy rain, then my 6-year-old sister asked me（一个句子里，有2个谓语动词）, "dear sister, can you tell me where rainbow comes from?" Wow, I hesitated for quite a long while, and still I could not answer her. To her surprise and despair, her sister that studying in university was unable to answer her question. So, personally I think we should make ourselves developed by studying the basic science course.

Last but not least, the basic science course won't make any adverse effect on our major course. First, it is not hard for us to learn because it only tells the basic knowledge. Second, the course may not occupy（中文思维吧？ 可以这样用么？ Comsume kill ?） most of our time so that we don't need to worry about it is to bring a heavy load (好，好专业的词汇！做到了同义词互用，避免多次重复! 赞！)to us. In addition, taking the science course can serve as a relaxation course for it is leading our brains to a totally different world.
In a nutshell（这个词 貌似 老美不喜欢用，而且听人说，这个是小学生用的。。）, I believe taking basic science course will bring us amount of advantages so that we have no excuses to avoid（词汇贫乏？避免？不好吧。。drop 这样行么？） it. Therefore, why not we university student attend in a basic science class?
总体来说，  还是 要做到 做小的环节， 用词的精确性。  语法 还好！ 句子再深邃点就好了。  观点 也 还好。  总体来说是 还说，但是 就是  每个环节 都需要再提升一下。 建议，看一下满分 范文。 不必看他们的 句式，当然看也是最好的。 最好的就是 看他们的用词还有 就是 行文的逻辑结果。
如果您有心，您可以看一下。 TOEFL 的平分标准， 语言的逻辑性，很重要。  

毕竟大家都是还是在考T 的人，所以，有些我个人的观点如果有问题， 请谅解。 请客观性 评判 并接受哈~   +OIL! !!  GOGO!!!

让我来做海盗UID: 2762535

As a college student studying in law, I often feel bored that I have to take all the course everyday merely about law. Though choose more other subjects as elective course may be a burden for us, I +  ...
让我来做海盗 发表于 2010-2-17 22:14

:lol
加分 加分，多加 几次 :loveliness:

rjyuuUID: 2591508

43# 让我来做海盗
As a college student studying in law, I often feel bored that I have to take all the course everyday merely about law. Though choose(choosing) more other subjects as elective course may be a burden for us, I strongly(am) eager to take other courses which can bring me into a different world of knowledge. Thus, I support the statement that university students should be required to take basic science class even if they are not major(ing) in it.

To begin with, basic science knowledge is a prerequisite for all-around development of everybody,(好！学习了) not to mention university students. The most important is that basic science is very useful in our daily life. For instance, my friend Tom has learnt in science class that people should not touch the person that was injured by electricity unless cutting down the origin of electricity. Without this science knowledge, not only my neighbor but also my friend Tom who offered help to save him would have been killed together. Therefore, the basic science knowledge plays an important role in our daily life, so that everybody should possess the knowledge

Secondly, taking basic science course will broaden our horizons as well. Usually, people regard university students as professors in every aspect. Last summer, a fresh rainbow came out after a heavy rain, then my 6-year-old sister asked me, "dear sister, can you tell me where rainbow comes from?". Wow, I hesitated for quite a long while, and still I could not answer her. To her surprise and despair, her sister that studying in university was unable to answer her question. So, personally I think we should make ourselves developed by studying the basic science course.

Last but not least, the basic science course won't make any adverse effect on our major course.First, it is not hard for us to learn because it only tells the basic knowledge. Second, the course may not occupy most of our time so that we don't need to worry about it is to bring a heavy load to us. In addition, taking the science course can serve as a relaxation course for it is leading our brains to a totally different world.

In a nutshell, I believe taking basic science course will bring us amount of advantages so that we have no excuses to avoid it. Therefore, why not we university student attend in a basic science class?

这才是轻松愉悦的IBT作文！
（不知是那个名师的高徒？）

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

42# 让我来做海盗

1.第二段的“basic science knowledge is a prerequisite for all-around development of everybody, not to mention university students”似乎我后面是没有提到all-round development，还是后面那句做中心句更好些~
2.文章里很多的用词不准，多谢海盗一一指出啊！
3. 你确定In a nutshell不好啊？我第一次用呢，还是在那个无老师的高分范例里学来的，呃。。。

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

44# rjyuu

UU，灰色的是虾米意思呢？看不懂啊