Yuki的作文贴

longxue26UID：2687755

8-25 综合写作

TPO8  
The reading material criticizes theaccuracy of Chevalier de Senegal’s memoir and its historical value in threepoints, but the speaker in the lecture expresses contradictory opinions aboutthem.

As for the first point in the reading thatchevalier was poor and had to borrow considerable money from a Swiss merchant,the speaker challenges with another explanation. Since Chevalier needed largeamounts of money in parties and gambling, he had to wait for a long time to getenough cash. Consequently he had to borrow money from others before the cashwas available. So the first point in the reading is not convincing.

Second, some critics complain that the accuracyof the content about the conversation between Chevalier and writer Voltaire isnot trustworthy. However, this point is also attacked by the speaker and sheargues that the witness of this conversation had confirmed the memoir severalyears later. So this part of Chevalier’s memoir is doubtless.

这里那个write down in notes and refer to the notes没听到

Finally, the third criticism shows thatChevalier escaped from prison not by digging a how in the ceiling but bybribing jailers from his friends. This point encounters opposite explanation ofthe speaker, too. In fact some prisoners had more powerful political friendsthan Chevalier and they didn’t bribe jailers at all. In addition, in thearchives of the jail, it was found that after Chevalier escaped from theprison, the ceiling was broken and needed to be repaired. So it’s quitepossible that he broke prison from the ceiling.

FatalerrorUID：2798581

8-24 独立写作小组作业 批改 by Fatalerror
Sorry 由于不能上传附件 直接贴上了


（09.01.23 NA） Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.

If I am an employer picking up from two types of interviewees -- one has working experiences in several different companies; the other has recently given up a long term job, which one will make me draw a happy line on his/her resume? From my point of view, I will choose the latter one, who seems more competent and trustworthy for me.
（很有个性的视角 巧妙地运用了类比以及设问 引出作者观点）

As graduates aim for absorbing working experience as much as possible, they tend to ignore an important principle in this process. And this ignorance or blindness might lead them to a wrong direction in career development. The principle is whether one has accumulated enough to be competent for the next job opportunity, or to say the future career route. Many young people change jobs frequently with decent excuses such as uncomfortable unpromising advancement, interpersonal relationship, or repeated work pattern.（感觉列举有一点点不对称 可能uncomfortable原本是用来修饰interpersonal relationship的 也许是笔误 也许是我理解有误） As a matter of fact, if one fails to tackle the problems in the former company, he/she will probably encounter the same situation （不知道用situation替换problem是否恰当 可能issue的含义会更接近） and be defeated easily at the next position, too. Since the studying period is limited in one place, it’s impossible for young people to be well-equipped for new competitions in next arena. （没太看懂其间的逻辑 因为每个职位的学习时间都是有限的 所以年轻人不可能在新职位的有限的培训时间之内完成质的飞跃 尤其是since那半句 也许是我背景或阅读能力的问题 不明白为什么会有这样的限制 还有 这段很有层次 首句提出现象 第二句进而解释现象可能带来的后果 然后用第三句补充说明首句中的principle的含义 并且将本段论点与全文中心加以联系 阐述different jobs对long term career的影响 论述很精彩 不过对我来讲有点难 我拧了好半天才找到论点）


On the other hand, in spite of the interest in the job, the loyalty towards a company equally plays a significant role in various aspects of career development. For senior managers, most of them are willing to promote staffs who have been working for a long time （其实之前我一直在想要不要加副词来表达这些staffs的loyalty 后来发现完成进行时更加简洁 精彩 鼓掌）. Even if they may not as skillful and efficient as some newer ones, their loyalty demonstrated through the working period can easily carry them high enough to draw the managers’ attention. That always explains why they’re promoted. In another case, the stable working experience seems win more credits for them, bringing additional strength to impress the interviewers. These people can be trusted in much higher possibility as ones who are profound in certain area and pretty patient with difficult challenges. No any boss can refuse an employer （employee?） who turns out excellent consistency and stability with a job. So the loyalty determines people’s career progress in a long run.
（通过manager看待两种人的态度和其对长期稳定绩效的偏好 阐述loyalty是如何影响promotion的）


In sum, from an overall perspective, young people should move each step carefully and steadily on the road of career development, a stable and deep footprint is definitely wiser（感觉这里用名词做表语可能会更贴切 如 a wiser choice）.

纵观全文
Development把握得恰到好处  首尾精炼 论点清晰 论据详实 其实我也想写disagree 但是对题目理解不够透彻 写到一半就跑题了 最后强迫自己说违心话 写了一篇agree
Orgnization是亮点 论述层次清晰 衔接连贯 但对我个人来说 第二段的逻辑比较复杂 需要花一些时间才能理解
Language use更是精彩 类比 设问 完成进行时 形式丰富 而且表意准确

wxxgwUID：2817139

8-24独立作文作业' l  Z/ V, X( A5 O8 X
( k+ p/ o7 T) _) c% e7 D- f/ A# D
2009.2.21* l  F! s) T& [; W" ~& {
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
8 c5 H( S4 L, jNewspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country. (Media)- _5 w! p* u$ ?3 f- M* y, I7 g; h9 |
3 {# D1 q# y6 j
4:13-4:47 未修改# e  |/ o8 _% h; n3 t: Z; P

. Z5 n6 h& E& g) ^5 V% vAs various ways of learning about foreign countries have become accessible, people come across a debate whether newspapers and magazines are the best approaches. In my opinion, I totally disagree with that（+newspapers and magazines are the best approaches 我认为应该加上这句话，1因为that不能单独出现，2因为加上这句话后句意更完整通顺）. 5 ?$ F3 M4 f% Y7 M

+ T0 E- I3 e( z+ d0 u; JAs for newspapers, it’s the most convenient media of conveying current news but not information about foreign country. In newspapers, the introduction of exotic cultures and histories are limited since the majority is looking forward<>explosive news happened currently. On the other hand, the descriptions or messages seem to be either at the introductory level or out dated. So newspapers are far from the cleverest choice for us to learn about a foreign country.! x/ n! \1 L. m) `( m
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Also, speaking of magazines, its periodic character considerably makes people wait for a long time, in spite of the special issues of foreign countries. Once it took me one month and 10 Yuan more to purchase the newest issue of a magazine called discoveries( The Discoveries )in Japan. What’s worse, I found that the home-page websites of some content writers were right printed in it, from which I could easily browse the relevant information online without waiting such a long time. Therefore, even though the beautiful pictures and interesting stories about foreign countries released in magazines are attractive, the inefficiency has cut down its (这个its没有指代 所以magazine应用单数）role as a prevalent access.  # `1 O5 U% L* a/ U7 p
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In fact, there’re better ways than newspapers and magazines to know about foreign countries. Internet provides the most direct experience when we chat with the foreign friends. Television programs offer larger amount of people（people 放在这里是什么意思？是为人民提供的意思吗？那应该放在句尾） abundant messages and information about other countries. # i# k/ g. S  B5 F& U

; s7 p  v7 J9 kIn sum, in order to learn about a foreign country, the best choice is not to read newspapers or magazines. Why not take internet and television programs into consideration? Maybe we can get bigger surprise from them. ; R+ S7 B# H& z$ l% H0 _

此文章用词丰富，句式新颖，例子具体 偶有小瑕疵，不过还是一篇好文章

longxue26UID：2687755

8-26 独立写作作业

09.05.30NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (age’s five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

4:30-5:40

Education, which is one of the hottest topics nowadays, plays a significant role in the development of younger school children. Many people suggest that they should attend art and music classes in addition to math, science, history and language. As far as I am concerned, I couldn’t agree more with this thoughtful proposal.

One point requires more attention from the public that education is not only a process of teaching, but also an exploration of children’s intelligence and potential. However, some burgeons that can thrive to be much stronger are easily nipped by few access to art and music. My older sister was talented at Chinese traditional painting at age of 7, but she had to give up studying it because of the force from her parents. She failed her math exam occasionally, resulting in the angry decision made by my aunt of stopping the art classes. As it’s well known, once the gift is buried down in the primary stage, it can hardly reappear years later. My sister now is unable to draw any traditional paintings as excellent as before. Consequently we should never let this tragedy happen again to little children and offer more opportunities for them to study art and music.

Learning math, science, history and language builds a solid base for younger school children to grow and develop, meanwhile, the knowledge of art and music equally contributes them to the construction of a higher and brighter storey. Nowadays, generalists have become remarkable positions that are in extensive need and considerable social status. Thus cultivating on art and music is the first step for younger children moving towards well-rounded talents who are promising in future career. On the other hand, studying art and music might help children to gain better understanding of other classes such as math and science. While appreciating the famous painting of The Mona Lisa, not only can children experience the beauty of art, but also impress them with a practical concept of Golden Division.

In sum, considering different aspects of children development, requiring younger school children to learn art and music is definitely a wise suggestion, and I totally agree with it.

这个作文以前写就写不顺手 头疼 这次也一样

swolf54UID：2421931

改在这

longxue26UID：2687755

155# swolf54

改好了

louisa427UID：2458920

8月25，综合，晚了，不好意思

longxue26UID：2687755

8-27
09.06.12NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.

Some young people begin to fight for all possible chances to get part-time jobs when stepping into universities; while some insist that it’s a waste of time since study is a heavy task. Well, considering the different respects of career development and social requirement, in my opinion, trying part-time jobs in university is necessary for them.

Taking a part-time job can bring pleasure and encouragement that inspire one with stronger interest in study and help orientate one’s future through practical experience. My major was Japanese in college and I had worked part-time in my third year as a guide for Japanese tourists. With the plenty opportunities to communicate with them, my Japanese level improved to a great degree in a surprising speed. Meanwhile, I fell in love with this foreign language because I found practicing it made me feel happy and inspired. Since then, I had begun to make more effort and decided I wouldn’t choose the jobs irrelevant with Japanese. So, thanks to that experience, not only could I become more confident of my professional skill, but also did it help me make a proper career plan.

Nowadays, realizing the difficulties in making money is necessary for young people, but it can be achieved through applying for part-time jobs. For students who have grown up in a rich family, the challenges and difficulties encountered at work will enlighten them to concern about their parents more and to know the toil of earning money. In addition, for those who want to contribute efforts to relieve family’s financial pressure, a part-time job is fairly helpful. So, by practicing in part-time jobs, students can both temper themselves to be more independent and absorb life lessons to gain more experience.

Besides, young people can make new friends and enhance their social abilities during the work, which benefits them in a long run. Moreover, college students may luckily obtain good employment opportunities before graduation from part-time jobs; it's so valuable under the intense competition and big depression.  

In sum, students should take part-time jobs in universities. We can easily figure out that how distinct and competitive a graduate is when he/she lists the work experiences in the resume.

niunianUID：2864048

改好了~~嘿嘿

longxue26UID：2687755

8-27 综合作业  TPO10
不好意思 交完了

实在抱歉

The reading passage talks about thedeclination of otters along the western coast of north America and concludesthe reason as pollution. However, the speaker in the lecture discusses thedecrease is resulted from predation

First, the reading points out the sea pollutiondoes harm to otters’ resistance to infections and lead to their death. But thespeaker weakens this theory based on the fact that no dead otters are found offthe sea shore, which is unable to happen according to the pollution theory inthe reading. On the other hand, just because of predators, dead otters can’t bewashed up on shore, strengthen the evidence of the fact.

Second, the reading expresses the pollutionhas caused an entire ecosystem problem, resulting in other sea mammals’ deathin addition to the otters’. To the opposite, the speaker argues that thepredator like orcas may have to eat smaller sea animals like sea seals and sealions since whales are largely hunted by human. So the sea otters are notexceptions and have died a lot.

Third, the reading believes the hypothesis thatother environmental factors associated with pollution may lead to unevenpattern of otter decline along the coast. The speaker challenges thisexplanation and points that the accessibility to orcas determines the death of otters.While the otters living in the deep water are easily preyed by orcas,population of sea otters inhabiting at shallow waters doesn’t decrease at all.

JulianlodUID：2688193

独立 已修改

JulianlodUID：2688193

综合

csleeUID：2693790

154# longxue26



改完了啊，不好意思！！！

longxue26UID：2687755

8-28综合写作
tpo11
The reading material asserts that nowadayspeople read less literature and the culture has received unfortunate impacts. However,the speaker in the lecture challenges the assertions as below.

First, the reading discusses thatliterature provides the best intellectual stimulation but the reading hasdeclined. This point is attacked by the speaker, arguing that there’re manyhigh-quality reading materials such as science writing and history. They allencourage people to exercise imaginations and offer intellectual stimulation. Thus,books except literature don’t mean they are not good to read.

Second, the article talks that people spendless time in reading literature and divert much time in entertainment forms,leading to lowered level of culture. The speaker casts her opposite opinions onthis theory and point out that there’re so many beautiful songs and excellentmovies worth appreciating. They might be more influential on the public than literatureis. Besides, the form of culture has changed and there’re other valuable formsin contemporary culture.

Finally, the reading material criticizes thatreaders’ standards has decreased and talented writers today lack audiences. Butthis theory encounters adverse discussion from the speaker in the lecture; she explainsthat current literature is too difficult for people to understand. So it’s notthe audiences’ fault.

longxue26UID：2687755

独立写作小组9月

8-28作业

（09.02.27NA）Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

How should people decide when choosing a job from two different types: one with a low salary but more vacation days; one with a decent salary but less time to rest? It’s a tough decision because people always have to make a compromise, leaving one tantalizing benefit behind. For me, I would love to work with a relatively lower salary but more vacation opportunities.

It’s pretty harmful for health when people focus most of their energy on working without proper rest and adjust. Especially, nowadays, heavy working pressure has resulted in both physical illness and psychological disorders. So, enough time to rest is quite in need. Taking many white-collars for example, it has been proved by tens of researchers hundreds of times that continuous sitting in front of the desk and operating a computer is seriously threatening. They often pain in their necks, backs and fingers after long time working. What’s worse, those uncomfortable feelings, couple with the measly vacation time, will contribute nothing but aggravate their mental stress, leading to poor efficiency at work and a dangerous cycle on health. At this point, a high salary helps no more than cut down one’s rest time using which people can relax and gain a healthy, more meaningful life.

Many people believe that earning more and resting less demonstrates their personal abilities and dedication spirit; however, to the contrary, the more knowledgeable and skilled one person is, the better he balances time and salary. There’re a lot of excellent art masters who earn rather less money just because they want to work with enough free time for cultivating their creative inspiration and accomplish greater works. In addition, one professor in my collage who worked for years as a simultaneous interpreter received both decent salaries and high respects once upon a time, but he resigned it and became a teacher. He tells us that he loves teaching. Moreover, he feels life is quite enjoyable during the two vacations each year. In this case, we can find out that achievable people always ignore salary comparing with personal time.

In fact, weighing a job needs one to have a discerning view of different aspects hiding behind it. Most people struggle to rap an opportunity of increasing their income, but meanwhile, amounts of them just cling to the ostensible decency regardless of health and true happiness. So, I won’t recommend people to choose a job with a high salary but less vacation time.