Yuki的作文贴

miketry0313UID: 2451900

不是我不想发附件啊，是我等级不够还不能发附件啊。 T_T

9-1 独立 改 S  M8 F7 i6 X
Governments should pay more attention to health-care issues thanenvironmental issues.

two hot topics attracting extensive concerns, one is the health-care and the other is the environment. Health-care maintains an important position in the discussion on human development and somepeople suggest governments should pay more attention to it, compared with environmental issues. In my opinion, however, I don’t agree with it.

Admittedly, everyone cares about his/her health condition and no one is able to live a good life without healthy body. But this doesn’t mean environmental problems should be overweighed by governments,to the contrary, they need more attention. Obviously, our life is now sufferingthe most serious threat resulted from a variety of pollution. In India, most of citizens can not drink clean water since their mother river is badly polluted. Each year, thousands of children die from water infection there. No matter how much invested into medical equipments and pharmacy, the situation will not betotally dissolved without any actions exerted into environment. So a simpleclaim for health-care is weak and vain.2 S8 b, G9 f# V2 i' Y' @

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Some people may think human beings areeasily to gain longevity nowadays because of well equipped health-care system. Nevertheless,they tend to ignore the most powerful disasters caused by environmental issues,such as earthquake, flood and mud flow. Everything will be ruined thoroughly when these night marish disasters attack. We need governments to construct warning system and all the helps with avoiding potential risks. No matter how super(powerful) the health-care system is, lack in strong dams, stable buildings, timely information and proper arrangement, life will be as fragile as the salinebottle, ironically.

It's understandable that we should payattention to the health problems, but too much focus or to say the selfishness of human being blocks people’s eyes to reach a far-sighted view. We blindly eager to lengthen our life, but refuse to devote barely more to love the environment.Though loud noises are made for protecting environment, rare effective fruitare harvested. Facing the innumerous consequences generated from environmental destruction,how can we only care about ourselves shamelessly? If governments cast no more further concerns on environmental issues, the most life-threatening disease is the selfish and blindness of ourselves. ! N( r) O7 u0 {! Q

In sum, we shouldn’t pay most of our concerns to the health-care issues. Environmental problems are equally significantand even require people’s more notice and care. So I completely disagree withthe argument.

文字非常不错，让我受教了。

但是，我想跟YUKI讨论一个问题~~：

    整篇行文的结构就是三个核心段全部支持中心论点是否适合IBT的写作?因为我常常发现，三段正面阐述总会不可避免出现重复观点，或者论据不足的现象。
    在这篇文章中，我好像也发现了类似的现象。我感觉第二段与第三段一个论述health-care不能解决pollution，一个论述health-care不能解决自然灾害。我感觉这属于同一个角度。
    所以在我的行文中，我试着首先分两段分别独立阐述两个选择的优点（在这两段中两个观点不加以比较），最后一段给出我的比较并做出选择。以我9.1独立为例：
    https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1147809&pid=1774323375&page=1&extra=#pid1774323375

    但两位批改我作文的同学，似乎都认为中心体现的不够明确，结构也不是很好。
    所以我想请教，面对这种二选一的问题，是不是每段都要对两个选择作出比较才是最合适的结构呢？

miketry0313UID: 2451900

9.1 综合 改

In order to deal with aftermath of disasters like forest fires and severe storms, the reading suggests the way of salvage logging. However, the speaker in the lecture doesn’t agree with the points discussed by the author（删）.$（删））
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First, admittedly, salvage logging can help remove dead trees and makes room for new growth, but to the contrary, natural decayed environment is much better than the manual cleaning. In fact, it’s more suitable for trees to thrive during this natural process and the soil will be lack in necessary nutrition for trees after salvage logging.

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Second, the reading points that insects can damage trees and salvage logging helps solve this problem. But the speaker challenges this theory immediately. Insects’ habitats have been appearing for one hundred years and no harmful evidence has been found. In addition, there’re many birdsuse the trees as habitats too, so the ecosystem benefits the environment in along run. If the salvage logging is exerted, it’ll serve nothing but damage theforest.& u% h( D(

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Finally, the writer asserts that salvage logging provides economical benefits and more job opportunities for local residents. This argument is also attacked by the speaker. In the cases of serious disasters, people have to use helicopter and other expensive transportations to tackle with. So thebenefit will last short and remain little. Moreover, all the jobs will be temporary during the salvage logging and more experienced outsiders will be largely hired rather than local residents who need training and practice.

写得很好啊

longxue26UID: 2687755

196# miketry0313

其实我这篇文章写得不咋地 后面也是有些重复的地方 还不如写成4段了

我觉得 如果你找准了抨击点 写几段都无所谓的 没有特别规定

也可以在倒数第二段上写一点让步之类的  这个没有明确规定

但是 无论你怎么写 你的开头的中心要一直被贯穿在文中  要有对比 不要模棱两可

longxue26UID: 2687755

9-2 独立作文


9.2-09.09.19NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for the government to spend money on art museums and concert halls than on recreational facilities such as swimming pools and playgrounds.

As more attention paid to health and fitness from the public, people tend to neglect the role of art museums and concert halls in daily life. Claims about asking governments to invest in construction of recreational facilities such as swimming pools and playgrounds have been aroused. However, in my opinion, I don’t agree with it.

While people concerning the physical health, the intellectual and emotional   cultivation is equally important and even plays a greater part in modern life. It can not only enhance one’s temperament, but also help pacify and release himself/herself. Nowadays, the life style is busy enough to push each one to run on a rapid treadmill, sweating but struggling. Yet a beautiful painting or a piece of lyrical music offers us a moment of peace and an opportunity to seek for the true self. During the last job, every time I got depressed and distracted, watching my favorite painting and throwing myself into the quiet circumstances in the museum is the best way for me to leave all the worry behind. What’s more, when I was confused with myself and confronted tough decisions, I would sit in a comfortable position and close my eyes in the concert hall, letting the soft music flow through my heart and lead me to the deepest part of my soul. Thus, in many cases, the government’s support on museums and concert halls benefits the public to the most far-reaching degree, overshadowing the effect of temporary recreational activities.

On the other hand, practically speaking, how to fulfill the government function and serve the public to the best requires the government to spend money constructing art museums and concert halls. The investment will encourage citizens to broaden the view of world, improving the cultural level of the city. In turn, the government will benefit from the investment in the form of good public image of successful authorities. Many famous musicians come from my hometown because there’re many well equipped concert halls and excellent conservatories. One of them is the well known pianist, Langlang. His achievement on piano performance won him the image ambassador of Shenyang; at the meantime, Shenyang city has been attracting worldwide attention, promoted the government’s image. So in a long term, the construction of art museums and concert halls will benefit both the citizens and the government.

In sum, considering from a far-sighted view, it’s more important for government to spend money on art museums and concert halls.

使劲拍吧 写得闹心

longxue26UID: 2687755

9-2 综合写作作业

TPO15

In order to prevent the rapid spread of thecane toad in Australia, there’re several measures proposed in the reading. However,the speaker in the lecture doubts the effectiveness of them.

First, the idea of building a nationalfence to stop the spread of toad in the article will not be successful. Young canetoads and their eggs are living in rivers and streams. So they can flow fromone side to another side when there’s a fence across the water places. They’renot easily to be prevented, which challenges the first measure in the reading.

Second, though it sounds plausiblevolunteers can capture or destroy toads, untrained volunteers are not able to captureor destroy many of them. Especially, young cane toads are similar with nativetoads, making inexperienced volunteers difficult to distinguish one fromanother.

Finally, the speaker claims that thereading provides a terrible measure -- developing virus to control the canetoad populations. The virus may threaten the American king toads becauseresearchers always transport the cane toads to South America. If the virus isbrought in the infected cane toads, it will attack other native species likeKing Toads in South America. In the end, the ecosystem problems might bearoused in a large area in the world.

话说这篇文章里的 cane toad 我有的地方听成了 kingtoad 那speaker发音有问题 哈哈

newyork2010UID: 2548406

OK,9.2 intergrated

longxue26UID: 2687755

TPO16

The reading points out three problems thatmay damage the science of archeology in United Kingdom. But according to thenew guide line of archeology, the speaker disagrees with the author.

First, the reading material claims thatmany valuable artifacts were lost or destroyed during the constructionprojects. However, based on the new strategy, all the construction sites willbe examined by archeologists first. Valuable artifacts will be preserved or excavatedand documented carefully. In addition, the construction projects might be builtaround the archaeological sites proceeded without any destruction.

Second, the author concerns the financialsupport for archaeological research was not adequate. This problem will be alsosolved by the new guide line. The financial support will be paid by theconstruction companies, including the fees of examination and other processes. Thus,the funding will not be reduced, to the contrary of the reading. 更多的研究这点没听到 忙着记笔记

Third, there’s a serious problem discussedin the reading that the career in archaeology is not optimistic. Similarly, it’llbe tackled based on the new guide line. There will be a lot of paid work thatdidn’t exist before. The archaeological process will increase the jobopportunities and the highest interest has come into the archaeology. 貌似有点不够十分准确

自己又听了一遍 哎.. 听力老大难啊

longxue26UID: 2687755

9.3-09.09.25NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to take a secure job with a low pay than to take a job with a high pay but is easy to lose.

It’s always been under intense debate whether taking a secure job with a low pay is better than working with a decent salary but a high stake to lose. As far as I am concerned, I totally support this point.

First, a secure job with a low pay benefits one’s life more in a long run. Though the pay is not very high, people can make detailed plans based on it easily. Since it turns very precise and strict about family consumption or personal expenses, people will be more willing to avoid wasting money. Especially, comparing with those who are purchasing and tossing aside at the same time, the more one’s saving awareness is enhanced, the stronger his/her sense of satisfaction can be cultivated.

When people working in fear and can’t figure out the exact day they will be swept out, they tend to suffer from heavy pressure. It’ll not only bring impact on their daily working performance, but also lead to mental discomfort, damaging to the health. It’s a frequent scene that under big anxiety one often gets angry at work for no reason and lavish money on unnecessary items for vent. So, in spite of the high salary, one can barely experience true happiness of life and only live in vain.

As working in a company for a relatively long term, people are likely to develop an intimate relationship with both the job and the office colleagues. Consequentially, one might devote more on his/her tasks with excellent performances; meanwhile, he/she can gain friendships, having a more colorful and meaningful life. However, if one has got a position that requires more time and attention to focus on the hidden risk, he/she may unconsciously maintain distant from others in the office, losing opportunities of obtaining help from cooperation.

In sum, considering influences from different respects, I couldn’t agree more that it’s a lot better for people to choose a secure job despite of the low pay, in particular in a long run.

swolf54UID: 2421931

9-2-综合写作-TPO15.doc (29 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2010-9-3 19:52:35 上传

下载次数: 4

综合改好了，我也觉得是king toads..

dandan17UID: 2812933

不好意思。本来都改好了。结果发现自己一个地方看错了。有删掉了。要迟点哈。你的文章写的很好。

dreamdptUID: 2872879

感觉楼主用词好高深，是不是高分作文都得这样？

dukenuneeUID: 2859326

很无语...单词表啊...

longxue26UID: 2687755

9-4 独立作文

9-4-公众需不需要为公共交通工具付钱

Should people pay for the publictransportations?

写得很慢啊! 气死!

The role of public transport has becomeincreasingly important for citizens, especially during rush hours. Thus therecomes a hot debate about whether people should pay for the public transportationtools such as buses and subways. In my opinion, people should be required topay for them.

With the payment from users of public transports,the government can invest in improvement of buses, subways and road conditions.We all have been annoyed and waited on the way to offices in the morningbecause of lacking in adequate buses or traffic jams. But these problems willbe greatly weakened or solved when the authorities use the fare paid by thepublic in adding buses, broaden roads and constructing undergrounds.

In addition, the payment received fortaking buses or subways can be spent in offering job opportunities, forming agood cycle circling the ordinary people and the public transportation. The governmentcan utilize the money in providing more positions of bus drivers, cleaners androad maintenance staffs. In turn, people might become more willing to take themwhen a tidy and comfortable environment is presented. Coupled with the convenientcharacteristic of public transports, more people will be impressed andattracted to enjoy this benefit.

What is more, if people are free to takebuses or underground railways, they may count on the government too much. For example,more people will choose to take the subway to work since it’s free andefficient. But in case of emergency or accidents, more people will be waitedand even get late. On the contrary, people can develop a stronger sense of responsibilityof maintaining the public transports when they are involved in the form ofpayers. As we spend, we expect it is safe to ride and save us time. Therefore, peoplecast more concerns on the public transportation tools and take them assignificant parts in the daily life.

In sum, considering the rewards of payingfor the buses or subways in a long run, I deem people should spend money ontaking the public transports.

estopUID: 2864494

9-3 独立 改

estopUID: 2864494

9-3 综合 改