Yuki的作文贴

longxue26UID：2687755

独立写作小组

8-17的作业

8月17日交
2008.5.16 NA
independently writing: 是telephone 还是television对人类的有more effects


Telephones and televisions have come into human’s daily life for decades and both of them are playing an indispensable part in it. As getting used to them, we often come across an argument that which brings more effects on earth. In my opinion, I think telephone influences us at a wider and deeper degree.

The emergence of telephones has solved the problem of distant contact, drawing each other much closer than ever before. A call from the son working in a remote and unfamiliar city, always sounds like a cup of warm tea in the winter, satisfying old parents with relieved eyes and happy smiles. Using telephones, friends share past memories and future plans together. Despite of far distance, the friendship transmitted through the telephone line remains as before, sometimes even get stronger. In such a rapid-running society, leaning inside a kiosk, experiencing the current peace with a phone call to parents, lovers or friends, can develop the closest and truest reaction with each other.

Usually, telephone serves as a crucial role in people’s life, providing the most convenient and efficient contact way. If there’s something wrong with the products we have bought, a call to the relevant after-service will directly help deal with it. Even in the widely broadcasted commercials on television, one of the most frequently repeated parts is the sales hot-line. Especially, when there’s an emergency happened, calling 911 is always the best solution to release from it. The wide-spread utilization of telephones is not only because of its distinctive efficiency, but also on account of its helpful advantage in unexpected cases.

Admittedly, people are able to enrich knowledge and have fun by watching TV programs; however, without televisions people wouldn’t feel as inconvenient or uncomfortable as that without telephones.

In sum, considering different respects of human life, I deem that telephones are affecting us more than televisions.

jianndqinUID：2492884

longxue26UID：2687755

8-17-（08.10.25NA）

You agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized will be more likely to succeed than students who do not.

Parents would always love to see their children keep rooms well ordered and many people tend to assert that the good habit will help students approach closer to future success. As to this point, however, I don't agree with it.

There isn't any necessary connection between keeping neat and obtain success. My friend works in a big company as a senior manager but his room isn’t as clean as what I imagined. Because he is often late for home and the most important is that, he never expects the home atmospheres is as regularly organized as that at office. In many cases, the more successful achievements a person has made, the more he/she tries to avoid the same rigid feeling appearing at home.

In addition, many children don’t always maintain their house in a good order for reasons according to different situations. Some parents tend to push their children to do what they consider as good. Thus children might just do the opposite just in order to demonstrate they have their own ideas, even though they know it’s a good habit to keep room tidy and clean. In this sense, not to mention any future success, whether children can develop bright and healthy character may even lead to a question.

It’s hard to say that one is more likely to succeed because of the habit of keeping rooms organized and vice versa. Especially, we can’t deny his/her success at all if a successful man’s house is messed up. And it also sounds ridiculous when we accounted ones certain failure to the habit of not organizing rooms. Consequentially, though people prefer decent attitudes towards life and are prone to link them to beautiful things, whether the habit is able to help students get closer to success or not, is barely conclusive.

In sum, I don’t support that students who love to keep their rooms neat and organized are more likely to gain success than others who do not.  

louisa427UID：2458920

yuki，已修改

magictangUID：2708259

90# longxue26

, m5 \  r. i! v5 W/ L! P
In the lecture, the speaker discusses about a new employment strategy, offering employees an option of four-day workweek, with disagreements.$ B  v, C6 Y) A% \! T2 \: N

Companies will not benefit from the shortened workweek and even might be cost a lot more. They will have to provide both more training courses and more medical benefits to new employees under this strategy. On the other hand, it will become necessary to increase the office space and computers as the number of employees rise. Therefore, companies will spend more when they offer an option of working four days a week.$ X4 c {. \( S3 c
' B4 X3 o4 W7 A  V5 @% q. w8 ^

Since hiring new employees is costly, there won’t be an increase in job opportunities. Companies prefer to choose ones who can even work overtime, so that they can make up the difference generated by the four-day workweek. In addition, the working atmosphere will not be pleasant because employees have to do->较绝对，为get expected to do更好 the former five-day workload in four days. So, the over-all economic condition can’t be improved by this new strategy. 8 c$ j5 N5 T; f0 R$ g6 C

The additive one holiday will lead the four-day employees in higher risks and probably reduce the life quality.补充一点：they also lose chance to imorive their working skills, so During big depression, they are probably the first ones to lose jobs. Worse, they might be passed over in the competition of promotion because companies are more likely to find one who can work five days a week in order to manage the entire work week.- r+ n& n% p4 e7 z: x

很简明，很干练，很好！

frecyyoUID：2810950

我不是什么小组的，只是来打酱油的， 看他们说这边作文写得很好， 我就过来了，看了下这篇文章，觉得有几处错误，你看看， 水平有限， 看过一笑
  There isn't any necessary connection between keeping neat and obtain （obaining）success. My friend works in a big company as a senior manager but his room isn’t as clean as what I imagined . Because he is often late for home and the most important is that, he never expects the home atmospheres（这个词从字典里查只有氛围的意思吧， 没有环境的意思吧，还是environment 比较好吧） is （is去掉，一句话两个主语）as regularly organized as that at（of) office. In many cases, the more successful achievements a person has made (加上谓语动词 are ，另外achievement 能有successful 修饰吗？）, the more he/she tries to avoid the same rigid feeling appearing at home.

In addition, many children don’t always maintain their house in a good order for reasons according to different situations. Some parents tend to push their children to do what they consider as good. Thus children might just do the opposite just in order to demonstrate they have their own ideas, even though they know it’s a good habit to keep room tidy and clean. In this sense, not to mention any future success, whether children can develop bright and healthy character may even lead to a question. （这一段其实还是在证明上一段的观点， 两段的观点是不能是包含的关系的，应该再想一个观点吧）

It’s hard to say that one is more likely to succeed because of the habit of keeping rooms organized and vice versa（反之，这里的反之是什么意思，Vice versa 是说主谓调换下，情况依然一样，这里我看不懂）. Especially（这个词不能在句首， 朗文当代词典中有说), we can’t deny his/her success at all if a successful man’s house is messed up. （这句话不对题啊， 要证明的是会不会增加成功的可能）And it also sounds ridiculous when we accounted ones certain failure to the habit of not organizing rooms.（题目没有说不整理房间会导致失败，有点偏了吧） Consequentially, (这里应该是consequently吧，consequentially是另外一个意思）though people prefer decent attitudes towards life and are prone to link them to beautiful things, whether the habit is able to help students get closer to success or not, 逗号不要is barely conclusive.) 这段话其实没有看懂，很郁闷，能不能解释下

In sum, I don’t support that students who love to keep their rooms neat and organized are more likely to gain success than others who do not.   "

longxue26UID：2687755

96# frecyyo

我写的并不好!!!

谢谢你路过哈

但千万不要误会我会写的好  谢谢

哎~

frecyyoUID：2810950

97# longxue26
如果对我说的有什么不同意的地方， 请让我知道下， 谢谢了

longxue26UID：2687755

周三：2008.12.5
独立：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
　　Sports teaches us lessons about life.

Many people love doing sports for health or watching sport games for fun. Some even give up sleeping time to enjoy a splendid competition. Why people get so crazy over sports? Well, I think the best answer is that sport is just like a mirror reflecting our life and teaching lessons about it.

When people encounter a critical moment with a weak hope of overcoming challenges, sports are always able to light up a way for us to go through it. In the final four game of Australian Open, Lina, a Chinese net woman, had faced her most fatal point in a great possibility to be defeated by big Willioms. In this dangerous situation, Lina kept catching powerful balls from Willioms carefully and hitting back with all her strength. She never gave up any chance to win the last one point, which finally help her crush down the rival’s predominance and won the whole game successfully. By watching wonderful games like this, people will be greatly encouraged and inspired, especially when they come across difficulties in challenging moments.  

Sport teaches people how to cooperate with others, which is now playing a significant role in life. In the world cup, as French team had to go back home with the most painful loss in its history, people might find that the most serious defect was lack of no cooperation. Even though each member is talented, it’s obvious that no teamwork , no any tiny chance to win. Similarly, when a group works together in a company, sharing your valuable information and good ideas with others in the team is the basic guarantee of success. So sport has never stopped to show us the instructional stories on the life stage.

More important, sport gives hopes and dreams equally to everyone in this world, regardless of whether he/she is wholesome or disabled. Every sight of disabled sportsmen sweating on the playground for their dreams leads people to understand what life really means.

Sport is filled with laughter, tears, toil and happiness. It’s like a miniature of people’s life. As we appreciate and taste it, it teaches us lessons about life.

longxue26UID：2687755

8-18 综合写作

TPO2

偶的神 杀了偶吧 实在不会写! 听力也烂~没救了！:mad:

The professor in the lecture discusses the final performances resulted from six-month group-work in a company.

Many of the group members seem to be free riders and no one receives benefits from the team at all. To the opposite of what the reading material talks about, members who made contribution to the group can’t be recognized as highly significant, as all the accomplishments will only be attributed to the team as a whole.

On the other hand, in fact, it always takes a very long time to reach a consensus in a group, prolonging the process of projects. Worse, there may be a few influential people who control the final plan of the whole group. Sometimes, good ideas from other members might be ignored for not being agreed by these people. Also, dangerous decisions probably are exerted blindly under confirmation of influential members.

Regardless of others’ warnings, the team may step in wrong directions due to the few influencers. As a result, once a team has failed, the company will blame on all. No individual ones in this group will take the responsibility, including those free riders and influential ones.

JulianlodUID：2688193

91# longxue26

已修改

longxue26UID：2687755

101# Julianlod


谢谢你的意见

最近是写了不少 我发现 越写越短 不是因为没有说的 而是想写的比较简洁 因为看了几篇范文 都特别短小精悍
我想我过去写作文太罗嗦了 会把自己也绕进去

我不得不写 我英语底子不好 比不了大伙
再说 AW考得很惨烈 我得尽力弥补啊

cedarluUID：2668668

你好，今天晚上我有点事，实在没来得及给你评改，明晚20点前我一定把对你的评改和我自己改好的作业贴好。
非常感谢你的评改！！但有一点评语还没理解，明天一并呈上。

alt735UID：2795126

第一次帮别人看作文，不到之处， 麻烦包容了。

alt735UID：2795126

【words：357】 字数够

Many people love doing sports for health or watching sport games for fun. Some even give up【reduce 用减少是不是会好点？ 】 sleeping time to enjoy a splendid 【加个sports 是不是会好点呢 更扣题】 competition. Why people get so crazy over sports? Well, I think the best answer is that sport is just like a mirror reflecting our life and teaching lessons about it.

When people encounter a critical moment with a weak hope of overcoming challenges, sports are always 【我觉得需要严谨一点 可不用always ，几乎总是比较好】able to light up a way for us to go through it. In the final four game of Australian Open, Lina, a Chinese net woman, had faced her most fatal point in a great possibility to be defeated by big Willioms. In this dangerous situation, Lina kept catching powerful balls from Willioms carefully and hitting back with all her strength. She never gave up any chance to win the last one point, which finally help her crush down the rival’s predominance and won the whole game successfully. By【by 可以省略】 watching wonderful games like this, people will be greatly encouraged and inspired, especially when they come across difficulties in challenging moments.  

Sport teaches people how to cooperate with others, which is now playing a significant role in life. In the world cup, as French team had to go back home with the most painful loss in its history, people might find that the most serious defect was lack of no cooperation. Even though each member is talented, it’s obvious that no teamwork , no any tiny chance to win. Similarly, when a group works together in a company, sharing your valuable information and good ideas with others in the team is the basic guarantee of success. So sport has never stopped to show us the instructional stories on the life stage.

More important, sport gives hopes and dreams equally to everyone in this world, regardless of whether he/she is wholesome or disabled. Every sight of disabled sportsmen sweating on the playground for their dreams leads people to understand what life really means.

Sport is filled with laughter, tears, toil and happiness. It’s like a miniature of people’s life. As we appreciate and taste it, it teaches us lessons about life. 【隔句不要指代 it】