Yuki的作文贴

longxue26UID: 2687755

8-23 综合写作 作业
TPO6

The speaker challenges the points discussedin the reading about online encyclopedias’ three disadvantages.

First, the reading assumes that onlineencyclopedias are prone to make errors, which is argued adversely in thelecture that it’s not perfect either in traditional ones. On the other hand, it’svery easy to make sure the accuracy when the online encyclopedias are editedunder close scrutiny.

Second, while the article points out thehazard threatening the online encyclopedias, the speaker casts opposite ideason it. Protective formats can be set up in order to avoid any fabrication orvandalization. In addition, the content is able to be protected by employingspecial people to maintain the safety of online encyclopedias.

Third, it’s ridiculous to conclude as whatthe reading insists that too wide a range creates false emphasis on invaluabletopics. Unlike the online encyclopedias, those traditional ones cannot reflectthe true communal interest at all. There’s only limited statements in traditionalencyclopedias, which disable to include the democratic sense from the public.

In sum, the speaker cast doubts on thetheories talked about in the reading material in details as above.

最后一个detail没有听到 因为要吃饭了 哈哈

stoptalkingUID: 2807919

With extensive concerns about educational quality from the public, some people assert that improving schools is the most important factor in developing a country successfully. Admittedly, schools cultivate amounts of useful talents conducive to a country’s future development, however, in my opinion, it’s far from the most crucial part in this long-term process.

The prerequisite for a country to step further is the situation of economy. There comes the most basic question whether one can afford to study at school. （Here comes a question…）In other words, without a full-blown market providing enough jobs most families may not able to pay the tuition fees for their children. If the market is weak and unhealthy nationwide, not only can lots of children lose opportunities of receiving formal education, but also living condition of a family might be affected. On the other hand, only if has the government stored up adequate money, investment can be achieved in improving schools. （语法角度，这句话应该没问题，常识角度，这句话是有问题的。政府一般都是有赤字的，很少能store up adequate money）So before taking other factors into account, the development of economy should be valued first.

In addition, a healthy legal system is another important element for a country to develop successfully. Without regulation in markets, inequitable competition（不正当竞争的翻译是unfair competition） will emerge and ruin the community interest （侵犯权益是violate）including both the public and government. Without punishment in law to decrease crimes, there will be severe threat to people’s lives, property and personal security. All of these（指代不明？） offer nothing but obstacles to the whole growth in society, not to mention any guarantee to enhancing（这里应该用原型还是ing呢？） learning conditions. Therefore, it’s too much exaggerated to put improving schools above other respects. （it is no exaggeration to say that…“毫不夸张地说”，这种用法比较常见）

Though many people insist that improvements of schools benefit children’s growing and directly influence on the future of a country; they tend to overstate the role regardless of some social problems involved in it. People who have learned a certain skill privately from a young age have turned out to earn more money than graduates who have been following the ordinary and stereotype route arranged in school. （这句话应该可以更简洁一些）Moreover, many parents cast doubts on school education and even encourage their children to study at home instead. Also, a considerable period has to be waited to estimate the effect of improving schools in a nationwide progress.

In sum, considering from different perspectives, I disagree that improving schools is the most significant factor in the development of a country. There’re many other factors more valuable for us to focus like economy and law.   

结构上比较清晰：不同意——其他因素更重要——这个因素本身也存在问题
对于这个题目的逻辑我本身就很无力，所以不能给楼主什么评价，不过觉得楼主这样说应该能把道理说得比较清楚，只是是不是缺少了些细节支持。
楼主的写作功底真好，我就鸡蛋里挑骨头了，见谅。

stoptalkingUID: 2807919

The speaker challenges the points discussed in the reading about online encyclopedias’ three disadvantages.  

First, the reading assumes that online encyclopedias are prone to make errors, which is argued adversely in the lecture that it’s not perfect either in traditional ones. On the other hand, it’s very easy to make sure the accuracy when the online encyclopedias are edited under close scrutiny.

Second, while the article points out the hazard threatening the online encyclopedias, the speaker casts opposite ideas on it. Protective formats can be set up in order to avoid any fabrication or vandalization. In addition, the content is able to be protected by employing special people to maintain the safety of online encyclopedias.第一点有点不具体，没有提到only-read format

Third, it’s ridiculous to conclude as what the reading insists that too wide a range creates false emphasis on invaluable topics. Unlike the online encyclopedias, those traditional ones cannot reflect the true communal interest at all. There’s only limited statements in traditional encyclopedias, which disable to include the democratic sense from the public. （第一句的描述不客观，提到了第二点，民意问题，但第一点传统类的范围狭窄的问题没提到）

In sum, the speaker cast doubts on the theories talked about in the reading material in details as above.

longxue26UID: 2687755

137# stoptalking

谢谢你给我的评论
那个 有些地方我想解释下
1.On the other hand, only if has the government stored up adequate money, investment can be achieved in improving schools. （语法角度，这句话应该没问题，常识角度，这句话是有问题的。政府一般都是有赤字的，很少能store up adequate money

这里我觉得  政府赤字 就关系太远了吧 这无非是平淡的一个例子而已  我觉得政府赤字不赤字 跟我说的这个道理没有关系   

2.People who have learned a certain skill privately from a young age have turned out to earn more money than graduates who have been following the ordinary and stereotype route arranged in school. （这句话应该可以更简洁一些）

您能说说 您的意见吗 就是 怎么简洁些? 我想不出来...

3. 只是是不是缺少了些细节支持

您能说出来哪个方向吗?  谢谢啊

stoptalkingUID: 2807919

1、没，我就看那句话时突然想到而已，有点较真了，你不用理我……
2、老实说，我水平有限，变换句式我还做不出来。不过如果你想表达的意思是，在学校里循规蹈矩地学习的毕业生，赚的钱并不比技工多，也许可以这样graduates spending all time in school sometimes are paid less than the craftsmen leaving school earlier.
呃，我水平有限，仅供参考。

3、我只是觉得你提到了两点，经济和法律，有点多，也许注重在其中一点上，进行展开，会更好一点。

longxue26UID: 2687755

140# stoptalking

嗯 好的!

非常感谢!

longxue26UID: 2687755

8-24独立作文作业

2009.2.21
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country. (Media)

4:13-4:47 未修改

As various ways of learning about foreign countries have become accessible, people come across a debate whether newspapers and magazines are the best approaches. In my opinion, I totally disagree with that.

As for newspapers, it’s the most convenient media of conveying current news but not information about foreign country. In newspapers, the introduction of exotic cultures and histories are limited since the majority is looking forward<>explosive news happened currently. On the other hand, the descriptions or messages seem to be either at the introductory level or out dated. So newspapers are far from the cleverest choice for us to learn about a foreign country.

Also, speaking of magazines, its periodic character considerably makes people wait for a long time, in spite of the special issues of foreign countries. Once it took me one month and 10 Yuan more to purchase the newest issue of a magazine called discoveries in Japan. What’s worse, I found that the home-page websites of some content writers were right printed in it, from which I could easily browse the relevant information online without waiting such a long time. Therefore, even though the beautiful pictures and interesting stories about foreign countries released in magazines are attractive, the inefficiency has cut down its role as a prevalent access.  

In fact, there’re better ways than newspapers and magazines to know about foreign countries. Internet provides the most direct experience when we chat with the foreign friends. Television programs offer larger amount of people abundant messages and information about other countries.

In sum, in order to learn about a foreign country, the best choice is not to read newspapers or magazines. Why not take internet and television programs into consideration? Maybe we can get bigger surprise from them.


标记的部分是我发现有错误的地方 没改 就

longxue26UID: 2687755

8-24综合写作 作业
TPO7

听力老大难啊!

The reading material doubts American woodcompanies are unlikely to pursuing the ecocertification label, however, the manin the lecture challenges the theories in detail.

First, American consumers don’t valueadvertising claims as trustworthy as what the reading points out, which encountersadverse attitudes from the speaker. American consumers are able to distinguishdifferent claims in advertisements. Also they show confidence toward independentconsumer agencies and the wood companies ecocertified by them.

Second, the article asserts American consumersare always prone to buy products at lower price rather than obtain ecocertification.However, only if the prices of products are too much higher or lower, willcustomers consider buying the cheap ones, challenged by the speaker. When theprice difference is small, people also value the quality to a great extent. So,certified wood products can attract many consumers in America. 环境保护那个地方没听到

Finally, contradictory to the third pointin the reading that pursuing certification would sound reasonable only byselling products abroad. However, the potential danger will emerge immediatelyif native wood business expands the market slowly in the USA. That is, withoutenough attention, the competition with foreign wood companies will lead to a bigrisk for American wood companies.

一边记笔记一遍听听力真烦人 下次不记笔记了

奔跑蜗牛UID: 2579189

As various ways of learning about foreign countries have become accessible, people come across a debate whether newspapers and magazines are the best approaches. In my opinion, I totally disagree with that

第一段看起来很乱
是否可以写成这样子呢
there are numerous ways to ...
include way 1 , way 2
I prefer way1
俺说的是思路

longxue26UID: 2687755

8-24 独立写作小组作业
（09.01.23 NA） Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.

If I am an employer picking up from two types of interviewees -- one has working experiences in several different companies; the other has recently given up a long term job, which one will make me draw a happy line on his/her resume? From my point of view, I will choose the latter one, who seems more competent and trustworthy for me.

As graduates aim for absorbing working experience as much as possible, they tend to ignore an important principle in this process. And this ignorance or blindness might lead them to a wrong direction in career development. The principle is whether one has accumulated enough to be competent for the next job opportunity, or to say the future career route. Many young people change jobs frequently with decent excuses such as uncomfortable unpromising advancement, interpersonal relationship, or repeated work pattern. As a matter of fact, if one fails to tackle the problems in the former company, he/she will probably encounter the same situation and be defeated easily at the next position, too. Since the studying period is limited in one place, it’s impossible for young people to be well-equipped for new competitions in next arena.

On the other hand, in spite of the interest in the job, the loyalty towards a company equally plays a significant role in various aspects of career development. For senior managers, most of them are willing to promote staffs who have been working for a long time. Even if they may not as skillful and efficient as some newer ones, their loyalty demonstrated through the working period can easily carry them high enough to draw the managers’ attention. That always explains why they’re promoted. In another case, the stable working experience seems win more credits for them, bringing additional strength to impress the interviewers. These people can be trusted in much higher possibility as ones who are profound in certain area and pretty patient with difficult challenges. No any boss can refuse an employer who turns out excellent consistency and stability with a job. So the loyalty determines people’s career progress in a long run.

In sum, from an overall perspective, young people should move each step carefully and steadily on the road of career development, a stable and deep footprint is definitely wiser.

longxue26UID: 2687755

144# 奔跑蜗牛

有理!!! 谢啦!!!:)

bearseuUID: 2873933

修改好了，23号的独立

bbliangUID: 2604466

（09.01.23 NA） Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.

If
I am an employer picking up from two types of interviewees -- one has working experiences in several different companies; the other has recently given up a long term job, which one will make me draw a happy line on his/her resume? From my point of view, I will choose the latter one, who seems more competent and trustworthy for me. （好棒的开头！）

As graduates aim for absorbing working experience as much as possible, they tend to ignore an important principle in this process. And this ignorance or blindness might lead them to a wrong direction in career development. The principle is whether one has accumulated enough to be competent for the next job opportunity, or to say the future career route. Many young people change jobs frequently with decent excuses such as uncomfortable
unpromising advancement, interpersonal relationship, or repeated work pattern. As a matter of fact, if one fails to tackle the problems in the former company, he/she will probably encounter the same situation and be defeated easily at the next position, too. Since the studying period is limited in one place, it’s impossible for young people to be well-equipped for new competitions in next arena.（“arena"本义是竞技场的意思，有这种引申的用法吗？）

On the other hand, in spite of the interest in the job, the loyalty towards a company equally plays a significant role in various aspects of career development. For senior managers, most of them are willing to promote staffs who have been working for a long time. Even if they may not （这里应该加“be"作谓语吧？）as skillful and efficient as some newer ones, their loyalty demonstrated through the working period can easily carry them high enough to draw the managers’ attention. That always explains why they’re promoted. In another case, the stable working experience seems win more credits for them, bringing additional strength to impress the interviewers. These people can be trusted in much higher possibility as ones who are profound in certain area and pretty patient with difficult challenges. No any boss can refuse an employer who turns out excellent consistency and stability with a job.（“employer"应该是“employee"的笔误吧？）
So the loyalty determines people’s career progress in a long run.

In sum, from an overall perspective, young people should move each step carefully and steadily on the road of career development, a stable and deep footprint is definitely wiser.（这里两句之间缺少连词，“a stable。。。”这里最好另一句吧）

estopUID: 2864494

8-24综合改