Daily Writing by JuLian

tidus_xuanUID：172013

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement:
Young peopleshould try different job before they decide which job or career they will do inthe long term？

A traditional view is still held today that young people should avoid frequent job changes because it unstabilizescareer development and hampers promotion opportunities. However, I believetrying different jobs benefits young people before their final decisions oncareer choice for the following reasons.

On top of everything is the accumulation ofwork experiences. Many college or high school undergraduates are difficult atfinding a job owing to experience deficiency, let alone deciding a career.Moreover, in the absence of basic sense of job responsibilities, they are totallyconfused at a long-term, clearly organized career plan. But this situation couldbe completely different after diverse work experiences. The subsequent gain intechnical or social experiences will conduce to finding a decent job and guide inbuilding a promising career.

Compensation, other than work experiences,is a gauge in designing career. The fact is that youngsters know little about salarymarket. Therefore, they usually recognize themselves in a low pay compared withemployee of the same job. Only after several work shifts will they figure outfinancially advantageous jobs on the market, which may influence their long-termcareer selection.

Last but not the least, interest, a keypoint leading to a successful career, is always neglected by freshmen seekingjobs for the first time. A job at the start of career often goes againstoriginal interest since many young men sign labor contracts under the stress ofparents’ will or generous remuneration. Owing to a generally accepted pointthat according one’s interest to his job is crucial in deciding a career, awalk around in various jobs may be helpful in balancing interest and other considerationssuch as salary or promotion.

All in all, with diversified careerobjectives and copious job opportunities, more and more young people will deny stickingto one job and, at the same time, accept experiencing different jobs as a wayto achieve a long-term career objective.

tidus_xuanUID：172013

TPO8


The passage shows that the reality ofChavelier’s memoir is doubted, thus criticized. Instead, the leturer believesthat the memoir is reliable since no composition could be absolutely accurate.

The first point objected by the lecturer isthat Chavelier was actually a poor man because of his borrowing from merchants,as wrote in passage. The lecturer says that Chavelier had a lot of property andwhen he needed cash, he had to liquidate these fixed assets. Therefore, hisreasons behind borrowing a large sum of money is not for poverty, but rather circulation.

The passage also critisized that it isimpossible for Chavelier to recall all exact conversations since his writingwas completed several years after meeting with Voltaire. However, the lecturerclaims it is possible because Chavelier recorded all conversations in hisnotes. In addition, Chavelier was witnessed always referring to his notes andrecord when he composed memoir.

Another controversy between the passage andthe lecturer lies in how Chavelier escaped from prison. The passage cites thatChavelier bribed his watchman instead of making a hole in the ceiling becausehe had many powerful friends. But the lecturer stated that some prisoners,whose friends are much more superior than Chavelier’s, did not escape throughbribery, so Chavelier nodoubtedlly escaped by himself and the eviendce that theceiling was repaired after his escape also confirmed this fact.

xiangtuoUID：3047550

A traditional view is still held today that young people should avoid frequent job changes because it unstabilizes(？) career development and hampers promotion opportunities. However, I believe trying different jobs benefits young people before their final decisions on career choice for the following reasons.; x9 [! Y  h; s' b
  \: }$ [- \" g* M( Z4 ^
On top of everything is the accumulation of work experiences. Many college or high school undergraduates are difficult at finding a job owing to experience deficiency, let alone deciding a career. Moreover, in the absence of basic sense of job responsibilities, they are totally confused at a long-term, clearly organized career plan. But this situation could be completely different after diverse work experiences. The subsequent
gain in technical（没空格 难为死我了） or social experiences will conduce to finding a decent job and guide in building（没空格 难为死我了） a promising career.; ?: `+ A" s- U+ N+ [4 w6 U) O
! ]7 D+ f9 L" V3 m
Compensation, other than work experiences, is a gauge in designing career. The fact is that youngsters know little about salary market. Therefore, they usually recognize themselves in a low pay compared with employee of the same job. Only after several work shifts will they figure out financially advantageous jobs on the market, which may influence their long-term career selection.- ~# Y! n! I6 V( p1 [

Last but not the least, interest, a key point leading to a successful career, is always neglected by freshmen seeking jobs for the first time. A job at the start of career often goes against original interest since many young men sign labor contracts under the stress of parents’ will or generous remuneration. Owing to a generally accepted point that according one’s interest to his job is crucial in deciding a career, awalk（?） around in various jobs may be helpful in balancing interest and other considerations such as salary or promotion.
/ ]4 r$ ^0 d( J; s, j
All in all, with diversified career objectives and copious job opportunities, more and more young people will deny sticking to one job and, at the same time, accept experiencing different jobs as a way to achieve a long-term career objective.

我觉得写得非常好 语法用词什么的都很到位，对题目的把握也不错，就是结尾能在强调一下“你”就好了，毕竟是问 Do you agree or disagree。

hyliu1-08UID：3063421

首先感谢昨天帮我认真修改的文章，谢谢。我的作文基础差一些，谢谢帮我指正。但是还有另外一个原因，那是我最早以前写的文章，所以很稚嫩。

5 月 6 日地独立在我的帖子的最后边，如果可以的话，特别想请求你再帮我看看https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1260192-2-1.html
万分感谢！ 祝 马到成功！

tidus_xuanUID：172013

TPO9


The lecturer refuted all three benefits provided by the passage, of fuel-cell engine.

The first one is that hydrogen is not actually as easily obtained as described by the passage. Water, one important ingredient for abstraction of hydrogen, requires a very sophisticated technology to beproduced. However, ignoring the pure liquefaction process, the passage only points out that water is a forever source for generating hydrogen.

Besides, the lecturer contradicted another point that one merit of fuel-cell engine is environmental advantage. It is informed by the lecturer that the production of hydrogen is a polluting process though hydrogen itself is clean, as written in the passage.

Finally, the passage shows that fuel-cellengine is financially beneficial as the last point, whereas the lecturer presents the opposite opinion that fuel-cell engine is virtually expensive since platinum, a chemical element in producing electricity powering the car,is costly and indispensible. Also, any way to replace platinum has not been discovered yet.

tidus_xuanUID：172013

For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

If someone asks me whether the education should be focused on very young children, my answer is probably yes. But when this question involves government budget and universities, I completely disagree that the government should spend more on very young children education ratheron universities.

My first reason comes from the skepticism on where very young children will arrive after injection of significant investments. As is known to all, future development of young children is usually unpredictable, which means differentiating children who will become Albert Einstein the second with children who might be another Bin Laden is almost impossible. A comprehensive, unfiltered endowment may lead to a disappointing or even disastrous result. On the contrary, university students and staff are reliable because they have necessarily established a correct philosophy about world and life after years of education and life experiences.

Furthermore, the government may find out that the budget is not as effective as assumed to be because very young children lack the capability of supervision. For example, kindergartens might misuse these funds on matters irrelative to the improvement of education like lavish decorations, sleet toys or luxury transportations. Illegally, they could appropriate funds for high-risk investments or embezzle money into their own pockets. However, these uncontrolled behaviors may never be adopted by universities since students are natural supervisors and able to judge the propriety of the funds allocation.

Most important, serious problems arise as a consequence of this partial budget policy. Tuition, book prices, and apartment rent are no longer affordable. Only fools want to be college teachers, paid the same as a doorkeeper. Lunches and dinners are no more than rice and hamburgers. At last, the fact that more people choose to keep a distance from tertiary education compromises overall education quality of a country.

To sum up, it is an unwise decision to budget primarily on very young children’s education rather than on universities since it brings unanticipated future, generates corruptive actions and kicks brilliant and talented people away.


另外谢谢昨天帮我改作业的同学，辛苦了
还有我也不知道为什么我从word里贴上来，空格就没了

lavinia7479UID：3025869

TPO9 整合 改
The lecturer refuted all three benefits provided by the passage, of fuel-cell engine.

The first one is that hydrogen is not actually as easily obtained as described by the passage. Water, one important ingredient for abstraction of hydrogen, requires a very sophisticated technology to beproduced (be produced). However, ignoring the pure liquefaction process, the passage only points out that water is a forever source for generating hydrogen (他閱讀裡是提到說hydrogen can be derived from…包含…甚至是水,還說hydrogen不容易被用光,但沒提到說水是forever source).
然後他聽力裡面沒有提到說他主要是提煉於水

Besides, the lecturer contradicted another point that one merit of fuel-cell engine is environmental advantage (environmental friendly?). It is informed by the lecturer that the production of hydrogen is a polluting process (though hydrogen itself is clean)這句話他沒說, as written in the passage(這邊建議可以寫一下reading裡說了甚麼).


Finally, the passage shows that fuel-cellengine (cell engines) is financially beneficial as the last point, whereas the lecturer presents the opposite opinion that fuel-cell engine is virtually expensive since platinum, a chemical element in producing electricity powering the car,is(car, is)(produce the electricity to power the car) (electricity powering 不是由platinum製造) costly and indispensible. Also, any way to replace platinum has not been discovered yet. (這句lecturer沒說)

以上給你參考看看^^

tidus_xuanUID：172013

Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement?
Youshould not believe everything in the newspaper.

Newspaper, once an important source of information, is not as reliable as it was half a century ago. I believe newspapers should not be trusted because they involve subjective, fictious, and misleading information.

Above all, many newspapers encompass contrary comments on social problems as a component. Generally speaking, these comments reflect subjective judgments in the light of authors’ personal views or experiences. When appearances of conflicting arguments for the same topic occupy people’s lives, readers will be entirely confused by these contradictory opinions, all of which are risky to be trusted. Financial market is an excellent example. An investor can hardly make his decision on the target company since numerous, discrete analysis cover the market. Finally, the best way tends to believe himself.

A more serious problem than subjectivity is fabrication. Nowadays, a large number of newspaper publishers are confronted with intense competition from televisions and Internet. Sacrificing morality, they make unreal stories and issue fake passages for the sake of profit. For example, diversified news of celebrity’s personal life prevails in newspapers everyday, most of which are eventually proved to be untrue.

In the end, the fact that an increasing number of advertisements portrayed on newspapers makes them distrustful. Usually,advertisements do not correspond with what they present. In full color on a glossy page, an advertisement showing a beautiful house with lavish decorations is in fact a moderate apartment. A seemingly silver, delicate watch is found to be a second-class steel one. When all these situations happen in our lives, no one awards credits on newspapers.

In summary, I have no faith in newspapers because they provide prejudiced opinions, forge imaginary events and disseminate misguiding information.

曾小贤_UID：2980487

Newspaper, once an important source of information, is not as reliable as it was half a century ago. I believe newspapers（后面的都改成newspaper articles,因为论述的是everything in the newspaper,而不是报纸这个东西） should not be trusted because they involve subjective, fictious, （逗号去掉）and misleading information.
5 Z! M( e; d8 `6 u5 P! G5 Z
Above all, many newspapers encompass contrary comments on social problems as a component. Generally speaking, these comments reflect subjective judgments in the light of （鉴于？改为from或者derived from好点吧）authors’ personal views or experiences. When appearances of conflicting arguments for the same topic occupy people’s lives, readers will be entirely confused by these contradictory opinions, all of which are risky to be trusted.（this point can be best illustrated by the example of financial market,举例最好不要那样举吧。） Financial market is an excellent example. An investor can hardly make his decision on the target company since numerous, discrete （两个adj不要逗号，用and）analysis cover the market. Finally, the best way tends to believe himself（the best way out is to trust himself）. ;（）9 z' F, {
' u* F: L$ V+ P  i
A more serious problem than subjectivity is fabrication. (不能这样用a more serious problem作主语就直接than，省了很多东西。the fabrication of newspaper articles creates more serious problem than that of subjectivity)Nowadays, a large number of newspaper publishers are confronted with intense competition from televisions and Internet(如果是新闻工作者遇到竞争，那对手应该是televisions and Internet的从业人员，不是televisions and Internet这个宽泛的概念。). Sacrificing morality, they make （fabricate）unreal stories and issue fake passages for the sake of profit. For example, diversified news of celebrity’s personal life prevails in newspapers everyday, most of which are eventually proved to be untrue. 5 X( C' G3 B8 s
9 }$ S5 T6 F$ s& y, s6 B
In the end, the fact that an increasing number of advertisements portrayed on (published 你的意思应该是越来越多的广告，而没有说广告的内容，只有内容才会portray on 报纸。)newspapers makes them distrustful. Usually,advertisements （advertisement contents in reality）do not correspond with what they present. In full color on a glossy page, an advertisement showing a beautiful house with lavish decorations is in fact a moderate apartment. A seemingly silver, delicate (改逗号为and)watch is found to be a second-class steel （inferior）one. When all these situations happen in our lives, no one awards credits on newspapers.（没有人把功劳颁给报纸？把这一句重新写一下吧。）* @' p3 J1 O  P6 v
  O3 ]% H3 y& T, Z/ R  T8 `) I' Q
In summary, I have no faith in newspapers because they provide prejudiced opinions, forge imaginary events and disseminate misguiding information.

总的来说point很好，但是联系不太紧密，用词也感觉不太到你说的点上面去。还有最好在每个paragraph结尾总结一下。共勉。

tidus_xuanUID：172013

突然发现我居然没有TPO20，需要去下载，请帮我改作业的同学稍晚再来，麻烦了
另外独立请见六楼，谢谢

tidus_xuanUID：172013

怎么都没人帮我改作文？谢谢大家帮我改下吧
TPO 11

The lecturer admits there is a trend that people who read literature become less than before, but she refuses that this trend leads to negative benefits for reading public, lowers the level of culture and results from the poor standard of today’s readers.

First, the passage assumes that reading literature is good for readers because that will spur readers’ intellectual imagination and creativity, which may be lost since less and less readers tend to read literature. However, the lecturer thinks that it is unnecessary rather than irreluctant for readers to read literature due to various kinds of readings such as scientific books and political analysis, which all bring benefits to readers.

Second, the lecturer disagrees with the opinion that such forms of entertainment as watching televisions, listening to music and surfing internet disadvantage the level of culture, as written in the passage. The lecturer says that because the culture is changing, diverse cultural forms like listening music and watching movies provide the opportunity for the development of a multi-cultural society, which is far from the one of low-level culture.

Third, the passage holds the opinion that more readers choose to leave literature owing to the poor standard of their own,while the lecturer contradicts this opinion by demonstrating that it is actually the authors’ fault which engenders the trend today, rather than readers’ because, in her opinion, many literatures are too difficult to understand.

tidus_xuanUID：172013

Do you agree or disagree that with the following statement:
It's more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities (such as swimming pool, playground)

Do you think that building art museums are more meaningful than building swimming pools in our country? Do you feel that traditional culture is being lost due to lack of locations for preserving diversified forms of art? Do you agree that investment in establishing a music performance center is more profitable than in building a recreational facility like playground? To answer these questions positively, I strongly believe that it is more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance centers than to build recreational facilities.

In the first place, art museums and music performance centers are more educational than recreational facilities. Natives might elevate their artistic awareness to a higher level by more musical performances provided that the number of music centers is increased. Visiting art museums, foreign tourists could be informed of the cultural traditions and historical development of the country by numerous exhibitions displayed in art museums. On the contrary, too many recreational activities pervading people’s life deprive them the opportunities to receive artistic education. Thus,building art museums and music performance centers are more instructive.

Not only is it for the educational purpose, but also for culture protection to build art museums and music centers. The fact that recreational facilities in our country significantly outnumbered buildings for art, which primarily contributes to dying conventional artistic forms incorporating Beijing opera, Chinese calligraphy and folk-dance, makes it imperative to conserve, at least to some extent, these traditional art as part of our culture. On condition that inadequate museums and centers are built to store these arts, the loss of which is generally irreversible, our national culture could be intensively jeopardized. Therefore, the government should take immediate measures to prevent this situation from happening.

At length, return on investment should also be taken into account. In one hand, income from art exhibitions or music performances customarily exceeds that from swimming or other recreational activities. For instance, a ticket for attending a concert in my city usually costs as approximately five times much as swimming for the same duration of time. In the other hand, maintenance expenses are low for art museums and music centers in comparison with recreational facilities. Water change,sterilization, and weeding which are required by swimming pools or playgrounds,are never a concern of art museums or music centers who only needs cleaning. As a result of this economic strength, art museums and music centers deserve investments by the government.

In a word, it is important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music centers since it promotes the level of culture, symbolizes the progress culture and history, and produces enormous financial benefits.

tidus_xuanUID：172013

TPO 12

郝郝同学UID：3024925

Do you think that building art museums are more meaningful than building swimming pools in our country? 我觉得这句应该讲大方向吧 不应该说swimming pool 这样的例子Do you feel that traditional culture is being lost due to lack of locations for preserving diversified forms of art? Do you agree that investment in establishing a music performance center is more profitable than in building a recreational facility like playground? To answer these questions positively, I strongly believe that it is more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance centers than to build recreational facilities.,
我有个疑问 文章中可以出现第二人称吗？问句用is it就行了吧

In the first place, art museums and music performance centers are more educational than recreational facilities. Natives might elevate their artistic awareness to a higher level by （seeing） more musical performances provided （这个词是假如的意思 还是提供呢？是家如不知道能不能这么用 是提供不明白是什么意思）that the number of music centers is increased. Visiting art museums, foreign tourists could be informed of the cultural traditions and historical development of the country by numerous exhibitions displayed in art museums. On the contrary, too many recreational activities pervading people’s life deprive them the opportunities to receive artistic education. （这句话把pervade变成谓动 deprive 变成从句的动词 这样句子结构是不是好点）Thus,building art museums and music performance centers are more instructive. 后面举点例子更有说服力
Not only is it for the educational purpose, but also for culture protection to build art museums and music centers. The fact that recreational facilities in our country significantly outnumbered buildings for art（是说谁比谁多吗？没见过这个表达 不知道对否）, which primarily contributes to dying conventional artistic forms incorporating Beijing opera, Chinese calligraphy and folk-dance, makes it imperative to conserve, at least to some extent, these traditional art as part of our culture. 这句话从那断句的呀？怎么那么多的动词On condition that inadequate museums and centers are built to store these arts, the loss of which is generally irreversible, our national culture could be intensively jeopardized. Therefore, the government should take immediate measures to prevent this situation from happening.
' Y) h. A2 u" F# J " c5 @+ c# `' i8 f* ]. f& Z# e" {
At length（不懂）, return on investment should also be taken into account. In one hand, income from art exhibitions or music performances customarily exceeds that from swimming or other recreational activities. For instance, a ticket for attending a concert in my city usually costs as approximately five times much as swimming for the same duration of time. In the other hand, maintenance expenses are low for art museums and music centers in comparison with recreational facilities. Water change（changing）,sterilization, and weeding which are required by swimming pools or playgrounds,are never a concern of art museums or music centers who only needs cleaning. As a result of this economic strength, art museums and music centers deserve investments by the government.
9 P2 L* b. W$ n9 a0 c2 Z! U
5 u0 X2 Y: c! D3 t6 _- z$ `In a word, it is important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music centers since it promotes the level of culture, symbolizes the progress culture and history, and produces enormous financial benefits.

1 格式 一般格式是一种是 开头空格 段与段之间不空行 另一种是顶格写 段与段之间空行
2 逻辑 开头那几个问题问的 并没有体现出你问的作用 看了很迷茫 有的定语从句 逻辑连接也不是太明确
3 语法 句子里动词的用法应该是知道 用的时候在注意下 仔细点就行
4 例子 例子应该每段都有吧

水平有限 不妥之处 望见谅！
也该下我的作文吧 三Q`~~

das_postkarteUID：3012913

5.10独立批改~我不确定是不是这篇，以后发作文的时候注明是哪一天的比较好~